r/work

My coworker came back to work after his shift ended while I was closing alone and asked me to drinks and dinner and I said no. It’s very obvious he likes me and I’m not in the slightest interested in him at all. I treat everyone at work the same. I’ve also never ran into this issue.

He had asked me about my weekend last week and I very intentionally brought up how I’m seeing this man, we are dating, and things have been going well. He has been EXTREMELY cold to me ever since. Working in a different office, falling asleep at his desk, rude and condescending when I ask him for help, I have to repeat myself 2-3 times because he ignores me. It’s so obvious it’s starting to scare me. While my manager was away, he had asked me to watch a movie with him in this dark conference room alone and I said no I’m going to get lunch. So many instances of him borderline harassing me and showing me interest and I keep having to reject him. It’s very annoying and stressful - I would ideally like to continue this job through grad school and move up in the company.

He claims his attitude is due to “keto flu” but I can tell he’s extremely immature and that’s obviously a lie. I’ve spoken to my manager but I don’t think he gets it. How should I confront this coworker of mine directly?

So I am currently on vacation and was considering getting something small (like candy or something) for my team at work.

However, my team members are not very gifty people and I worry that me getting them a gift could make them uncomfortable (reciprocation and such). I could just get nothing, but our team does have more work when one of us is gone and I would like to show some appreciation. Does anyone have any thoughts?

I joined this brand new startup (like 10 on-site people). They were the ones who approached me and chased after me, as I already had another job where I was the senior and was very well respected.

This new place offered me a major pay increase and a Lead title. I have it in writing from the co-founder that I'm getting the lead position, not senior. Eventually, I chose to give it a go and was excited about the prospect of building something from scratch.

The whole onboarding was super messy, there's no HR (obviously), and I was the one who had to keep reminding everybody of basic employee rights.

Got off to a weird start with the ceo who I report to directly. Istg I get along with everyone, but for some reason it seems like he never felt 100% content with me. It became evident when this week he told me that I was the only one out of the entire team that he didn't manage the process of / didn't bring me into the company (also bs bc I sat down with him twice before signing).

I made it clear wfh was important to me and the cofounder said ofc and that he doesn't mind, now they told me that's not allowed, and the cofounder lied saying he made it clear during the process. Every time I try to start a new project I'm told it's "not a priority". the ceo went over my calendar saying he wanted to set up a time for us but saw I put a task for myself and told me not to do the thing without speaking to him first.

Today, at the all hands, they showed an org chart and next to my name was 'senior x', where in the original org chart i was shown week 1 of the job it said lead.

I haven't even been here for 2 months, but this is all getting to be a bit too much. Leaving my old place after years of working there was a rather dramatic event and a very big decision that struck waves in the company and for me personally.

I have no idea what to do, I don't want to confront anyone and I'm tired of playing games that seem to be mostly centered over ego. I just wanted to do my job that i was brought in for. I was promised that they would beed guidance from me on what to do, that I could build, and that I'll be in charge. It just somehow keeps getting worse. Help lol

I work for a very small company. The office "pet" has called out over 50 times this year, same as every year. He had openly admitted he doesn't like confrontation. Rather than address her, he just nags and nitpicks her to the verge of tears.

He asked me if I have any idea why she is always out. It is obvious she is an alcoholic and is hungover. We work from home so I also suspect she's drinking at work. I have no proof of this so I declined to answer and told him he needs to speak with HR, not one of her colleagues.

He seemed irritated with my reluctance to answer him. I don't know why but this gives me a weird feeling this was a setup. He knows I think he is a coward even though I have never said that to him or anyone else. I don't like him and vice versa.

Should I have answered him? Does this seem fishy to anyone else?

I've worked at my current job about a year, engineering job working on a quoting system. My coworker Jonathan has been positive, energetic, and very gung-ho about our project and working with him was great for a long while. He does talk a lot during meetings and tries to steer most discussions, which makes meetings drag on longer than needed, but that has been fine.

A few months ago he sent me a private message giving me a "professional courtesy" that I should speak less during meetings and try to be more team-oriented and not climb over my colleagues to get promotions. This caught me totally by surprise, because I have always been mindful and open when working with others. I called him and we talked for about an hour about it. I guess he had coworkers in the past who took credit for his work and he's pretty sensitive to that, but after listening to him and explaining my motivations for how I work, he totally changed his message. He actually said that nothing was wrong, to disregard what he said, and he said he was grateful to have someone like me on the team. It seemed to me like he just needed to feel listened to and understood.

Then things were fine for a few months, until I worked on a task that he had wanted to work on. It was 30 minutes, very simple, and it didn't occur to me that he would want to be the one to do it. He gave me another private "professional courtesy" message not to "take action items from team members" and that he didn't need someone "doing his work for him" or thinking that he "wasn't capable" of it.

I apologized and tried to call him to understand his expectations better, but he refused to have another conversation like the first one. It's been a few weeks now and he's been acting out in frustrating ways. He pushes back on my work now, is intentionally vague and difficult when I have to get information from him, and acts condescending when I try to have discussions with him.

My other coworkers have noticed and have asked me if something is going on, so I know it's not just me.

I was asking for more details on a task he gave me, and when he was being difficult, I messaged him saying he was being more abrasive than was necessary and he said it was because I was "asking questions about things that had already been approved", as if that would even be a valid reason to be rude and aggressive.

I don't know, the vibe is totally different now and it's making me dread going in to work. I feel like I have done everything I can to repair the relationship, but it seems like he is insecure and has decided to target me and sacrifice a year of relationship over a 30 minute task that he interpreted as an attack or something. I think he's intimidated or jealous of me and I don't know how to handle that.

It's at the point that I'm probably going to bring it up to my supervisor soon, but is there anything else I can try to get back to at least a working relationship? Once it becomes a workplace issue or he gets disciplined, I don't think there's any salvaging the relationship.

Kind of an AITA situation?

I work front desk at a hotel. I am often left by myself, with no reservations person, supervisor, manager etc.

This has been going on for long enough that I have my own routine down and for the most part don't struggle unless it's a day work 150+ check outs or just a day where everything seems to be going wrong.

The only problem is, I don't get a break or a lunch because I am effectively doing the job of 4 people. Is it inappropriate for me to silence the phones for 15 minutes to sit and catch a breath? The way I see it, people aren't getting through anyways because I'm doing my front desk things, and another 15 minutes won't kill anyone. It's also a matter of my boss scheduling incorrectly/the result of their horrendous leadership that has us short 10 people.

That's mainly where I think my actions are justified but it's also that good ol' work culture guilt.

ETA: I have my boss aware of this, got told to quit complaining and to 'be a ream player'

Jobs require a certain amount of degree, whereas most jobs can be done by anyone who is willing to invest time and energy in learning the skill.

Even if one has good skills and can do better than others, he is mostly rejected coz he doesn't have the right degree, especially in big companies where formalities matter more than one's skills and talent.

Sometimes feels like one is judged on his background rather than his merit.

Note: It takes some skills to explain one's career gap..xD

Hi Guys,

I am new at a company and my coworker wants a ride to the airport at 5am meaning I have to wake up at 4am.

It seems unnecessary and he should just take an Uber since it's so early. But Im new and also I know its common for coworkers to drop each other off but this seems a bit extreme.

How would you deal with it?

Hi everyone,
I work in Poland and about two months ago my manager contacted the three Spanish speakers in our team about a temporary 6-month assignment in Barcelona (Spain).

The information was extremely vague. Basically: Spain needs someone from Poland to help improve/implement their IT processes, would I be interested in hearing more?
I said I would like to know more about the offer.

I then had an interview with the IT Director in Spain. The role sounded much more senior than my current position, almost a mix of IT coordination/management, implementing processes, fixing how things are currently done, etc.

At the end I asked the obvious question: What are the conditions?

He told me they would pay for an apartment for 6 months, two flights, I would apparently keep my current Polish salary, and there would be some kind of daily allowance. He couldn't tell me how much because HR would handle that.

I told him clearly that I was interested in Spain, but I wouldn't move from Kraków to Barcelona for six months if it meant being financially worse off. I needed to see the actual package first.

Two weeks later my manager told me Spain really liked me and wanted another interview, this time with basically the highest-ranking person in the Spanish office. (Managing Director)

That interview also went well. They asked if I could start within about a month. Again, I explained that I was interested, but I still had zero information about salary or the actual financial package, so I couldn't commit to anything.
He agreed and said HR would contact me if they decided to choose me. That was July 15.
Nothing happened for over a month.

Today, August 19, the IT Director in Poland unexpectedly called me. I've never even spoken to her before because she's several levels above me. She asked if I had received the details for Spain. I said no, nobody has contacted me since July 15.

She seemed surprised and said communication had been bad, but Spain had contacted her because they want me for the assignment and apparently want me to start in around two weeks. She said they should contact me tomorrow with the details.

Now I'm slightly worried because this has apparently gone pretty far internally. From their perspective they've selected me, senior management in both countries is involved, and they seem to be planning around me going.

But from my perspective, I have never accepted the assignment. I've repeatedly said I'm interested depending on the financial conditions, and after two interviews I still haven't even received an actual offer.

If HR now comes back with something like “same Polish salary + apartment + a small per diem” and I decide it simply isn't worth moving countries for six months, can that realistically be held against me or even put my current job at risk?

Would I be the one leaving them hanging at this point, or has the company handled this badly by progressing this far without ever telling me what they're actually offering?

Thanks,

I work at a gaming store in CA and I sold a customer a Nintendo switch and they walked out came back two minutes later said that the box didn't have the console and showed me it. This is where I messed up because I should have called my manager but I didn't we had a whole line of customers and I wasn't thinking. I just gave him another switch and took the old box. It wasn't until I got the line down that I realized he probably stole it I reported it to my manager right before I left. I work in a few hours and I'm afraid my manager is going to fire me and I can't sleep.

And value myself over my job. I usually don't.

Action steps:use more PTO, since I have ton. Stop rushing around to complete tasks. The faster I go, the more that's expected.

Tell people I need to leave on time. They're used to me staying late and it's become the norm.

Take a lunch away from desk, even if it's a short one.

Slow down when I talk.

Stop picking up other's slack.

Basically respect myself more, which will probably result in others respecting me more!

Posting list to keep me on track

I'll still do a good job, but not sacrifice my well being

Have been wondering lately to risk trying a new job aside from the current job I have now. I have no experience nor any background about virtual assistant work but I do have the necessary equipments to qualify for at least. Can anyone give an advice doing virtual assistant as a a beginner? Thanks for the help in advance :)

I have a family member who works remote, corporate, marketing-ish position, I think its kind of a startup, maybe beyond that stage, but definitely a growing company. She works like 80-90 hours every week and doesn't seem to have any time off like FMLA or vacation, sick leave etc. She also works a lot of weekends (but not every weekend). She makes good money, but the lack of any kind of leave is crazy to me. How is that even legal?

She says she is "in meetings all day" but what could a person possibly need to meet about that often? From what I've read those kinds of hours are normal in startups, but I'm totally flabbergasted as to what could possibly to take up that amount of time. She can't even take a few hours off in the afternoon, on a Friday, in the summer, to take a family member to an appointment. On a Friday afternoon! In the summer! (yes, that's why I'm asking, because I now have to take off work to go to the appt, even though I'm several hours away and she's much closer).

I have worked in private and public mid level professional roles my whole career, and I have never seen anything like this. I work remote as well, but I have a lot more flexibility than she does, even when I have a big project where I need to work extra hours. I don't want to accuse her of making up excuses because I really don't think that's it, but I cannot fathom why someone would be in meetings all day every day, and/or why they would need to work 80+ hours a week.

Can someone who has worked at these growing/startup kinds of businesses explain this to me? I really want to understand. How do people start families with that kind of schedule? How can a company expect that level of productivity week after week? Why do people put up with it? There has to be some explanation.

Thank you in advance!

I wish I could tell one very specific coworker that they are not the most important person in that office. that if they left tomorrow, someone else would take their place just fine

I work at a PR and Marketing agency and one of my clients poached me and offered me a job.

Before accepting or embarking on any of the interview process, I ensured that I hadn’t signed a non-compete (I hadn’t).

The poaching process began mid-May, I was offered the job a few weeks ago, and then the background check had to go through before I could put in my two weeks.

I put in my two weeks (online as I’m a remote worker) and my boss was very quiet and said “they’re not supposed to do that.” He then told me not to contact anyone, including my other boss. He is setting up a call with my new boss (our current client) tomorrow.

I spoke to a former colleague here and she said they she had a similarly bad experience, including the other boss openly disparaging her on a client call to the point where the clients messaged her on the side to ask what was up.

I was hoping this could be a clean break and that I could affirm my continued support of the agency on the other side, including championing them for continued business with the client. Now I’m unsure…

Edit: since this is coming up a lot, my new employer and I agreed that we should be transparent about the situation because I will be working directly with my current agency on the client side shortly. Also, the agency is a small business and the new employer is a 100B+ org, not sure if that carries much weight.

I just started a new job in June. I’m working with developmentally challenged individuals. Training them for jobs. I love helping people and making a difference. And it can feel rewarding.

I work with all women in my office and I didn’t think that would be an issue. I’m a guy and I like working with women have in past jobs. For some reason in a lot of these human services type jobs, they seem to be female dominated. 

I get along with female coworkers and will use my sense of humor. They’ll like my jokes and kind nature. Unfortunately with this new job, these women have gotten rude and bossy and untrusting. I want to trust who I work with but I really feel like I have to watch my back here. 

I also have an older female coworker making comments to me in front of these people we are helping. She also makes blatant sexist comments. Last week she said men don’t have a brain. Aloud. My desk is next to hers. It’s an open office I share with the ladies. I was like what the heck in my head. 

I said nothing like sexism in the morning sarcastically. Can we have a positive morning?  She didn’t say anything. I walked out of the room and made a phone call to one of the individuals I pick up. She also said this comment with my supervisor in the room. 

I couldn’t believe it. She didn’t care. I guess she doesn’t love me being a guy there. It doesn’t make it okay with how she acts. She’s been making rude and condescending comments to me. Also trying to boss me around and correct her. I’ve had to be firm with her. She’s not my survivor or any higher level than me. 

She started a month earlier than me. Just because she’s older, I guess she thinks she knows it all and will give her piece to you. I don’t even ask. I don’t think she likes that our supervisor is younger. She’s made comments about her. She complains a lot and has a negative attitude. I don’t want to be around it. One of these ladies also complained about me for some reason and tried to get written up. 

I spoke with my head supervisor and she could see from my face I was being honest with what I was telling her. I told her all about the comments. She waived the write-up and we had a Zoom meeting the next day with her boss. I didn’t think this would go to that level.

She’s still making comments and my supervisors said to keep them updated. They expected she would. If she ends up losing her job, that’s her own fault. I didn’t do anything wrong to these women. I just want to do my job. What’s the point in creating this atmosphere?

Others I talked to about this said working with all women is never a good thing. I’ve had positive experiences in the past but also negative. This one lady and the other older woman in my office don’t even always get along. It’s usually over dumb things. My supervisors are now moving me to another department. Hopefully it’s better. 

I just started a new job, as in I’ve literally worked there 6 days.

It’s only part-time with (to me) very low pay. I took the job because 1) I lost my job 15 months ago due to company downsizing and this was the first place to actually offer me a job, 2) It’s a nonprofit so the experience will be great for me to move into full-time positions at other nonprofits (my whole career has been corporate and I’m over it), and 3) I’m genuinely excited to be doing more meaningful work that’s truly fulfilling. However, the pay is incredibly low. I’m talking 1/4 of what I was making in my previous job and zero benefits since it’s part-time.

ANYWAY, they’re holding a baby shower for my new coworker next week and have asked all employees to contribute $25 towards the gift they’ve purchased for her.

Firstly, I’m the lowest paid employee at $24 per hour, which the gift amount slightly exceeds. Secondly, of the 6 days I’ve worked, I’ve only seen her 4 of those days. Lastly, she’s not someone I consistently interact with in this job; I spend maybe 10 minutes (at most) per shift with her.

I don’t know how to handle this. I don’t think it’s particularly fair of them to ask me to be part of the contribution, but I also don’t want to make a bad impression by refusing to contribute. Money is incredibly tight since I went 15 months with no job and this new one, while helpful, is 1/4 of what I’m used to earning. I don’t have much to spare.

For anyone familiar with the show “Friends”, think of when Ross moved into his new apartment and they immediately wanted him to fork over $100 for the retiring handyman lol I feel like I’m living this exact situation.

Any advice would be incredibly appreciative! I don’t really have an extra $25 laying around for something like this, but I also don’t want my new boss & coworkers to dislike me. I don’t know what to do. This is all just so awkward.

I've been feeling pretty pissed off in my role recently. Meetings are cancelled last minute all the time, there's no progress on any work due to lack of clear requirements and the meetings that are supposed to be there to facilitate setting those requirements keep getting cancelled.

This morning I have already had two cancelled meetings two hours into my workday. A colleague scheduled a call yesterday afternoon for this morning and then cancelled it early this morning. I spent time prepping for it. Then the next meeting which was already rescheduled was rescheduled again just ten minutes before it was due to happen.

Even the daily standup gets cancelled most mornings just prior to its scheduled start time.

Thing is, I hate unnecessary meetings but this is worse. It has all the downsides of a meeting, because I am expected to be prepared when they do actually go ahead, but most of the time spent preparing ends up being wasted because the meeting is cancelled.

I felt the red mist descending this morning and wanted a reality check, am I right to find this infuriating or should I just "quiet quit" and stop bothering to prepare?

Hey a company I'm interviewing wants me to install remote access and monitoring software for my PC, it'll mainly monitor audio and what applications opened and closed.
Now I'm not fully against it, but it is strange they aren't providing a laptop. Though I get there's a cost, but what I don't understand is they want me to download this and install this and turn it on prior to giving me any agreement to sign.

And I won't be starting until 5 weeks later. So I have not agreement, never been on-boarded yet, and the start date is 5 weeks but this software needs to be installed prior to all this?

How many people have experienced this order of operations.

I got a new job, yay! and it’s very fun and I genuinely enjoy it, the only problem for me is the standing. You gotta stand for like 6 hours and I guess I’m still getting used to that! ‘^^ Last work shift I came home with a massive headache and aching feet, and it’s like… I don’t want every workday to be like that! How do I get used to the standing? O.o