r/work

In an ideal company, would you rather have higher pay or a four day work week? Caveat: you can choose the extra day off.

I’m asking because I’m autistic and want to say it in the most respectful and appropriate way.

Basically I am a nurse and have a coworker who just immediately jumps into the “nurse in charge” role. She co-ordinates the shifts each time and does the meetings. I can’t speak for anyone else but when I’m on she never gives me the chance to do these tasks. This means I’m out on the floor for the whole shift (which I don’t mind but she isn’t doing her bit) and this can be exhausting and also it’s part of my role to be nurse in charge at times and doing meetings etc.

Funnily enough, when managers used to allocate coordinating and nurse in charge, they had accidentally put me on for the whole day instead of first part, which I pointed out to her because I saw it wasn’t fair and she said “yeah it isn’t fair” so I was more than happy to let her do the role in the afternoon.

So basically I’m planning to talk to her about it at an appropriate time. We are on together for two days next week so I’ll see what she does the first day, and if she does it both the first and second day I’ll have a chat with her. Any tips on what I should say?

Is it rude to use "dear hiring manager" in a resignation email/letter? Obviously it's not using their name which seems disrespectful, but is it?

Or is it acceptable?

I will try to summarize this the best that I can.

Context: All of this started 3 years ago when my wife and I began reporting that the new hire wasn't properly doing her job and was showing very early signs that she didn't want to carry her own weight. My wife and I work a federal job together. Federal jobs are apparently notorious for being very difficult to get fired from. The majority of my office is also 98% female, the only males are my boss and I. The majority of the workers there are lazy, slow, incompetent, ill-mannered, and Jesus freaks. My wife and I used to love throwing parties for the office, decorating and helping everyone whenever we could type people. We would even use our personal money for all of this. This of course until the ship started sinking and we saw people for who they really are.

For the past 3 years, my office has been sinking below rock bottom at this point. The manager is the typical incompetent "I'm my own man, nobody tells me what to do, not even my superiors" type of person. The manager has also shown favoritism to the most incompetent workers, but my theory is that he protects them because they (including himself) are being watched under a magnifying glass by his superiors and if they mess up, he gets grilled for it. His superiors have already sent him to a "manager training" and of course it was just a waste of resources.

The incompetent workers continue being incompetent and he never calls anyone out, but God forbid my wife or I do something that doesn't float their boat. We immediately get called out. My wife and I have literally been told by other offices that we are the one's carrying that office. But of course, our manager could care less.

For the past year, my wife has been suffering as she struggles with Misophonia and the lady in the cubicle next to her is the typical stress eater. We'll call her Myra. Myra is 5' 7" and weighed over 420lbs before her gastric bypass surgery 2 years ago. You would think that she would control her eating habits or find a different way to cope with stress, but she goes back to food every single time. The problem isn't her eating, the problem is how she eats. This lady literally eats like an old dog slobbering on a fresh bone. I sit in the back and can sometimes hear her eat. This has caused my wife excruciating pain. She has tried headphones and white noise only to get reported by Myra. Today Myra literally began eating at 8am and didn't stop until 5PM closing.my wife said she was going to faint and certain pints and she couldn't leave her area because we were short staffed.

Even after explaining to the manager what was going on, he ignored it like he does with everything else he doesn't want to deal with. Myra will complain just about anything, but if you tell her anything it becomes WWIII. Because of this my wife is going to consult with her PCP to hopefully get an ADA for her misophonia. The only problem is that who knows HR will even accommodate her requests.

She, of course has already previously told the manager via emails and conversations "please move me to a different location in the office or at least let me use headphones" to which his responses are either ignoring her completely or is "I make the rules here, nobody else has complained about her, deal with it, you're screwed." Come to find out, the manager chews his food worse than her and constantly makes gross mouth noises when he's thinking.

My wife and I are desperately looking for new jobs, but mostly her. My wife needs a job that will qualify for her PSLF. She still has 6 years left. The feeling of being stuck and hopeless in this hell is undescribable. I imagine there are so many other people feeling this way. Please, we are open to suggestions. What can my wife do to at least be moved or have Myra stop stuffing her pie hole everyday? We have even noticed rat droppings around the office. I even told my wife that if she just wants to quit, I'll for support us for the time being, but the problem goes back to the student loan forgiveness. She isn't going to move until she already has another job at the ready.

First time posting in here. Wanting to vent or get some advice. Currently making $65k as a supervisor in a public sector job. Been here 4 years but been a supervisor only 1 year. I started here around $45k so I know that a $20k increase in 4 years is great, but now that I am at the supervisor level it has kind of stopped and doesn’t look like there will be more advancement for me at this job for a few more years at least (likely when the supervisor above me retires in 3 years.)

The issue is, I’m 26 and I’m really trying to move out of my parents’ house. I pay around $1k in student loans every month, that is why I haven’t been able to afford rent anywhere. What would be my rent money goes to the student loans. I can’t ask for a raise because it’s public sector, this job doesn’t work that way. I’ve already done all I can to refinance the student loans and get the monthly payments lower.

When I look at other jobs, nowhere will pay me the level I am at right now starting out. Everything paying more than $65k either needs way more experience than I have, or I am just otherwise not qualified. I’m trying to make a plan for my future career path, I want to make more money, but there doesn’t seem to be a way to do that without waiting years.

Was anyone in a similar situation regarding feeling stuck in the salary they are at? Were you able to make some kind of career change that got you at the level you needed to be at to achieve what you wanted? If so what career path did you pursue?

Thanks for reading

Not even talking about one specific company here, just something I keep noticing more recently.

A lot of hiring processes now seem extremely long for pretty normal roles --

multiple interviews, assignments, long waiting periods, culture rounds, final rounds.

Meanwhile candidates are expected to stay motivated, confident and available through entire process while usually applying/interviewing elsewhere too.

At some point it starts feeling less like “finding the best candidate” and more like testing who can mentally survive the process longest 😭

Still Curious if others feel hiring became more exhausting compared to few years ago.

Sit down, answer 2-5 emails, finish tasks within 30 mins. Get paid for doing nothing the next 7 and a half hours.

Not sure why they hired me fr.

I recently started a new job and I'm getting a weird feeling from my colleagues. When I first started they invited me to lunch and it was kinda a given we would sit together. Now that I've been there for about 8 weeks I find myself feeling excluded. We had lunch today and I selected a larger table we normally sit at only for all of them to sit together at a completely different table.....including my manager.
I'm normally not someone who cares about making friends at work but due to this being a much smaller office space and even smaller group of people, I can't help but feel quite isolated. I get the feeling it will look bad if I in response to the exclusion start eating elsewhere. Does anyone have any advice for this situation?

Does anyone else feel like modern work has become psychologically exhausting? You are expected to constantly upskill, stay available, survive layoffs, adapt to AI, act passionate about work, and somehow still not suffer burn out.

EDIT: Im not going in tomorrow

thank you for the kind words snd reassurance :)

This is gonna be really stupid but I need some reassurance and advice…

Im the type of person that almost never calls out sick or even gets sick. The most I get is a cold or something every year. I also feel like I have a pretty high pain tolerance and can work but should I work??

Anyway this is gonna be pretty TMI so here’s a warning…

this week my stomach has ached and Ive been pretty bloated. idk if it’s from stress, dairy, wedding food I had on Saturday, or what but ive felt pretty bad. I also got into a fight on Monday and got kicked on the side pretty good and im just sore in general from that. Anyway… i work as a barista so I’m on my feet and also the only one working so I need to be at the bar for the majority of the time. Today I got to work but started feeling nauseous and kinda lightheaded. I also kept feeling like I was going to poop myself if I didnt get to a bathroom right away. Luckily someone else was also working and I was able to go home. Took a bath, Ive been eating broth and drinking tea, and just laying down and I feel mostly fine. Ive still been getting a sudden need to poop though and run to the bathroom. Thing is I barely poop and it’s just runny 😭. Spent a bit on the toilet trying to get more out and then felt like throwing up and spit up some bile.

My boss is wondering if I’ll be able to work tomorrow and idk?? i could feel better tomorrow but I also don’t wanna wake up at 4:40am just to need to go back home a few hours later because I’m gonna poop, puke, and maybe pass out…

I also just feel dramatic… I have epilepsy and stress is a pretty big trigger for seizures and Ive been pretty stressed and will feel light headed but idk if that’s from my stomach or not or both?? I don’t want to have a seizure or poop myself at work but also I might be totally fine tomorrow?

TL;DR my colleague wants to have dinner with my boss when she's in town and bring our spouses. I don't want to bring mine, but my colleague is pretty insistent she wants our boss to meet her husband. I think I should tell my colleague that I'm not getting along so well with our boss right now, and I really don't want to bring my husband to this dinner. IDK, should that be an acceptable reason? I don't want my colleague to see me as anything less than a mature professional, and I worry this could impact that reputation (because I know often people at higher levels do these kind of couples dinners that I avoid at work)

My colleague and I work on a small team that's distributed across the country. Our boss comes to visit occasionally and we always go out to a nice dinner. We're fairly high level professionals.

My colleague thinks we should bring our spouses to dinner with the boss. I understand that. It's just not my thing. I really prefer to keep work and family separate.

I was just going to say... "On my last review our boss brought up some really surprising stuff and I'm in a spot where I want to keep firm lines between work and personal. Totally cool with you bringing your husband, I'm just not going to bring mine."

My colleague and I are not really close, but we are very friendly. Keeping a good relationship is important to me, and I don't want them thinking I'm immature or childish or something. But I worry about that because this colleague has worked at very high levels, where people often do this kind of spouse involved networking that I avoid. I'm kind of concerned she might look at me if I don't bring my husband and think I'm not really mature in the workplace. Whereas I think I could be the damn CEO and I'd rather not involve my spouse in my work.

I'm not willing to make up a lie.

Hello! Currently I’m going through the onboarding process for a pretty big hospital that is understaffed and haven’t had an answer for when my orientation is in about 1.5 weeks. I’ve called like 6 times, emailed a ton, and haven’t gotten a response at all. Their next orientation cycle is coming up in 2 weeks so is it possible they are waiting for me to get closer to that date? I’m all cleared with drug testing, immunizations, basically everything. Is this normal for HR? How long have you guys had to wait?

It’s horrific.

It’s a place with a lot of different cultures and languages. But I found they form their own cliques. The few of us who are English are made to feel absolutely worthless. The others look down on us and constantly talk in their own languages to each other, even when it’s work related issues that you should be involved in.

The upper managers talk down to you. It’s no nice “oh, perhaps you should be doing this”, it’s yelling, clapping after every word for emphasis, and completely blanking you.

There are no secrets. I had a personal issue which impacted work so I let my boss know. Next thing I know the one coworker I can trust pulled me aside to say everyone knew and was talking about me. I was mortified. The boss told everyone.

They drop your hours at with only a few days notice. Sometimes they say to go home at 1pm, and some days let you know at 3pm that you have to stay til 6.

People literally blank you for no reason. We’re given sub par equipment and expected to work miracles. The upper bosses get mad when we physically can’t produce what they want - but it’s impossible because we’re not given the tools.

Even a few days ago I came in about 10 minutes before work started and was printing off the schedule for the day and then started chatting to a colleague about how to do something on an Excel sheet. Another colleague came storming up yelling at us that we were supposed to be in work at 7 - we all were! We had been there in good time but were just sharing technical knowledge before the shift technically began.

I dread every single day now. I have lost count of the number of nights I just stay up because I dread sleeping. Sleeping means I wake up and have to go to work. I did Monday on about 4 hours of sleep. On Tuesday I didn’t sleep. I had today (Wednesday) off so slept in, but now I’m back in tomorrow - technically today - and it’s 2:44am. I am exhausted.

I am looking for another job, but I need a way to survive this. My whole life feels messed up. My house is a mess because I don’t have the mental energy to clean up. My finances are a mess because they cut hours when it suits them. And we weren’t told that was a possibility at the time. I am stressed beyond words and have no idea what to do to get through til I find something else. Please offer advice. I am so tired.

Almost all my co-workers are constantly insulting and making fun of other co-workers when they aren't around, and vice versa. I'm certain that they are doing the same to me when I'm not around, making me resent all of them. Is this just a part of work or an exception?

we're a 25-person sdr team doing mostly outbound to mid-market saas companies. been on zoominfo for 3 years and the renewal quote just came in at $32k. thats a 40% increase from last year. my vp almost spit out his coffee when he saw the invoice lol

started evaluating zoominfo competitors and honestly shocked at how much the market has changed since we last looked. we need accurate emails, direct dials, and technographic data. intent data would be nice but not mandatory.

been testing a few options. Prospeo's accuracy has been solid, getting like 85%+ match rates on our test lists and their mobile data actually connects. Apollo is cheaper than zoominfo for sure but accuracy seems hit or miss depending on the segment. also looked at RocketReach but still feels pricey for what you get.

anyone here make a similar switch? what are you using as a zoominfo replacement? we're leaning toward Prospeo since the cost difference is insane but want to make sure we're not missing something obvious before we commit.

I’m looking for some workplace advice because I’m starting to feel stuck in an ongoing situation with a coworker.

We work remotely most of the week and only meet in-office once weekly. Over time, multiple stakeholders and colleagues (not just me) have noticed that this coworker is often difficult to reach through Teams/email outside of that one in-office day, which makes collaboration and getting things done really challenging.

I’ve also found myself repeatedly fixing or cleaning up issues tied to work that was supposedly already reviewed or completed. Even when concerns or potential errors are brought up early, they often seem to get brushed aside rather than acknowledged, and the same patterns continue happening.

What makes this difficult is that I’m not naturally confrontational, and this coworker has more seniority than I do. Sometimes it feels like feedback doesn’t really land, even when it’s communicated politely and constructively.

Part of why I’ve hesitated to escalate things more directly is because I worry it could backfire and make communication/engagement even worse. This coworker has made comments implying they feel somewhat untouchable because they have the most historical knowledge on the team, so I sometimes feel stuck between wanting to be professional/supportive and not wanting to keep absorbing the impact of recurring issues.

I’ve already spoken to my manager a couple of times about workflow/process concerns, and he even implemented a task tracking system afterward, but it hasn’t really been consistently enforced or utilized yet.

At this point, I’m struggling with:

• how much responsibility I should continue taking on for fixing recurring issues,
• whether I should escalate things further,
• and how to address this professionally without creating unnecessary tension or broader consequences for the team.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you handle it without coming across as confrontational or difficult?

I started a new role recently and was designated to oversee our aesthetics business unit. The problem is now I randomly have huge chunks of downtime with almost no direction while my supervisor is busy/WFH. I’ve been reaching out to coworkers to learn areas we are struggling in, reviewing old tickets/emails, troubleshooting vendor and shipping questions on my own, organizing templates/notes, and trying to learn the workflow better, but I still end up with hours where there’s basically nothing assigned to me.

What do y’all usually do during slow periods without looking unproductive or constantly bothering your manager for work?

So I started working at a college as a student advisor and the workload is very high, but fairly rewarding, so I've been okay in the general department.

Two main things, boss consistently and randomly adds extra work to us... they're chaotic and unorganised and that part I cannot handle. Also have a classic narc coworker who thinks they're the secondary boss who refuses to properly communicate with all of us, is enabled by the boss, and adds a lot of random stress because attention HAS to be on them and they have a reward kink. (Which also means if you pitch an idea and it's dismissed, if they think it's a good idea, they'll respin it and take full credit... whatever if it's just important stuff that needs to be done, but gets petty and scathing after so many times).

In any case, been closely working with this team past the 6 month probation and when I started the boss and one of the coworkers were supposed friends of mine. I was drowning and decided to try out adhd meds that were ultimately okay but made me feel high all the time, that wasn't ideal. When we increased the dose I had bad symptoms and had to go back down promptly, but the meds gave me the clarity I needed that I needed to take stress leave, as they weren't the fix I needed. Some serious thought and healing time was.

Fast forward a month and a half... I was finally approved for leave for another month to ensure I'm good on the new meds and ready to head back in a better state. We upped my therapy, got me on antidepressants, and I've gotten back to feeling like myself, now it's just getting the meds to a fully good spot. Anyways... not a single person has reached out to make sure I'm okay. I've worked closely with these folks for like 8 months... no-one has checked in with me. There was 10 of us. Not a single one.

At this point... I don't think I can go back for the sheer fact of: clearly no-one gives a shit about the person they've been othering and the situation they've been unnecessarily adding stress all the time out of their egos (my guess honestly). Two of them were supposedly friends of mine, and one of them literally for like years starting in school. Not a peep.

Just wondering peoples thoughts because I'm struggling to think I can walk back in there and feel okay about everything.

So I worked in this place almost 2 years, no problems.

A non serious incident happened, two weeks ago, which they have just told me about. (I had zero shifts this time) so had no idea what was happening.

They have called me in tomorrow morning for a "chat" (firing), but there's no point going in because I already know I'm out. Yes I did have a 0 contract, but do you think they should have told me immediately about the incident?

After 2 weeks seems odd to me...

I just started this job last week. I figured out the first day that I am now co-employee to the most gossip centric, judgmental, high school minded people I’ve ever worked with. No one has really tried to get to know me, I’m essentially training myself on my position (it’s super easy work)…

…but, I’m pretty sure no one even notices I’m there and I just realized I’ve never worked a job where I don’t say goodbye to at least one person as I’m leaving. I just clock out and I’m gone.

It feels strange but also kind of nice.

That is all. This is my dumb post about not having to talk to people at a job that is customer service centric and should probably involve a lot more communication between team members.