Anyone else have the urge to hang up their hat and find a simple job? I'm just tired of the arguing.

Career Advice Needed: I’m a 28-year-old 2nd-year attorney with an MBA working at a small 4-person firm in Missouri. I’ve practiced in a wide range of areas and, honestly, have not enjoyed being an attorney. I knew as early as my first semester of law school that I didn’t want to practice law, but sunk costs and significant family pressure ultimately led me here.

Exiting law has been my goal for years, but I haven’t found the right opportunity to make the transition. My ultimate dream is to move West with my partner and build my own business. I want to do this before I have a family.

Last night, my uncle and mentor—an extremely successful entrepreneur—offered me $50k, no strings attached, to quit my job and move to Colorado within 30 days. It would roughly double my savings and give me a financial runway to figure out my next move.

The dilemma is that I have a substantial caseload, my boss has been incredibly kind and supportive over the past two years, and I currently don’t have any active job prospects in Colorado. I feel torn between taking what could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to finally make the change I’ve wanted for years and leaving in a way that feels responsible to my firm and clients.

What would you do in my position?

**EDIT: A few clarifying points:**

1. My Uncle is offering the $50k to me because he knows I'm not happy and wants me to follow my goals. He's not asking for the money back or putting in any stipulations. I would not be working for him. He lives out of the country.

2. It's 30 days because he wants me to leave ASAP.

3. The reason it's Colorado is that my partner and I want to live there. The offer would apply to any location I move to.

4. My partner does not like Missouri and has wanted us to move for years, so yes, we are on the same page. Her current contract expires in the middle of September, so the timing could work.

Right now I'm listening to the playlist I made while working on vacation in Korčula. Solid set of Gin Blossoms, Björk, CAKE, Common Saints, Depeche Mode, Dio, Eminem, Gorillaz, Flo+M, Kathryn Williams, and a lot of Taylor Swift.

What music do you play in the office?

I recently agreed to help a friendly acquaintance with a relatively small dispute—about $30,000—thinking I could spend 3–4 hours negotiating a pre-litigation settlement and drafting an agreement.

Instead, the client’s constant calls, requests for updates, unreasonable demands( “make it bankruptcy-proof”) and pressure for quick turnarounds caused the time commitment to balloon. I initially didn’t bill for many of those calls because of our friendly relationship, but the experience gave me a newfound appreciation for the billable hour.

It certainly isn’t the most efficient model or appropriate for every situation, but it does create an incentive for clients to be more deliberate about how and when they use their lawyer’s time.

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We should be resuming with Dr. Ziesel (who I really liked yesterday!)

I was in court this morning, waiting for OC to finish his arguments and trying to quietly explain to the client standing next to me that it was NOT the time to speak up. Naturally the client ignores me and starts trying to say incriminating shit on the record, at which point the judge cuts him off with, “Mr. (Client), I’ve known your attorney for a long time now. Normally when she stops talking, it’s because she thinks she’s winning.” Which is TRUE (and normally intentional) but also oh my god. I didn’t think it was that noticeable lmao. I immediately felt seen, not in a good way, not in a bad way, but seen nonetheless 😂

(It did shut my client up long enough for OC to wrap up and the judge to rule in our favor, though.)

Anyone else been harmlessly called out in court, but called out nonetheless?

I had quit an immigration removal defense gig circa Easter. The firm could be best characterized as a high turnover sweatshop largely effective at subsidizing the owner's (and his baby momma) lifestyle creep while treating all staff (attorneys and not) as disposable. I was hired as a trio of new attorneys, and I was the last man standing of the trio after 90 days. My supervisor and I tended to get on quite well as "vaguely unhappy with existence" gay singletons trying to make the world suck slightly less for immigrants. He labored as co-dependent, self-destructive Atlas putting in long hours on the phone (see my old thread here for a glimpse into our work culture). His willingness to do more with less, never take a vacation, and half-ass his health issues (adding 20# per year is not sustainable over a decade; the CPAP isn't a closet decoration; "6pm and still working" white claws aren't a great look) made Bob Cratchit look like a happy, respected employee with a real work-life balance.

I eventually was cracking mentally when my quasi-parental grandfather finally died (my mother and father both died young from an agonizing cancer and ALS, respectively) with no time to mourn/reflect/breathe, a sense of perpetual loneliness in my life, and work that felt like a deceptive sham on vulnerable people. Trial volumes were nonstop, and staffing was cut to the bone due to cost savings and turnover. I left before my notice was up when I saw my hearings were able to be covered. My supervisor still threatened a bar complaint over a phone call after I left the office. I hung up immediately, verified with my state that it was unlikely to amount to much, and never spoke to him again. Given firm dynamics, the bar complaint threat was likely the owner's idea, as the owner had an aversion to speaking with departing attorneys.

I recently got off the phone with former colleagues in "detention alley." My supervisor is dead at the ripe age of 35. The owner began calling around to current and former attorneys. Staff are, as far as we know, still in the dark. We strongly suspect the owner is panicking (as he does with any significant staff change) on how to replace "I have a toxic absence of boundaries" Atlas.

PSA: This job isn't worth working yourselves to death for. His immigrant clients are still turbo-fucked. The primary concern now isn't celebrating his wins or (demonstrated, if self-harmingly flawed) dedication. It's his replacement and redistribution of his cases.

My spicy take: Our cog-like role severely limits our ability to do much more than process through a system. Reforming (or smashing) systems as needed happens through other channels. Depressingly, the turbo-fucked clients aren't really all that more turbo-fucked than they were yesterday.

I will go down most likely for the funeral. Despite the bad note we ended on, I would like to see some of my former colleagues (most of whom have moved onto other firms) again. There was so much professional and personal misery that year, I almost need my own closure.

I am currently clerking for a federal magistrate judge in a more "flyover" state. Top of my class at a low-ranked school, I took this position hoping it would be a stepping stone to an A3 clerkship (and maybe Biglaw after). After several interviews, I unfortunately struck out with the big wave of 2027 hiring that happened in June/July. My magistrate clerkship is over in August of 2027.

My judge told me that the USAO for this district has asked several times about me, suggesting I apply for an open position as an AUSA in their criminal division.

So, I am torn. I didn't take this state's bar before my clerkship because I didn't see myself staying here longer than that. But clerkship openings for fall of 2027 are already more limited than before and will only get fewer and fewer. But someone from my law school who didn't do the SLIP program becoming an AUSA so soon after graduation is unheard of.

I am much less familiar about the benefits/drawbacks of going to a USAO than clerking, which is even more compounded because this is a USAO in a small market. I am looking for some input from more experienced people.

First, the whole reason that this office has an opening they're willing to hire such a young attorney for is because the current DOJ has bled attorneys. This particular district only lost the USA (obviously) and chief deputy when the administrations changed, but it seems that their usual feeder methods aren't working. What would joining the Trump DOJ, even in such a minor role, look like on my resume in the future?

Second, this position is for the criminal division and I want a civil practice. How easy is it to change from the criminal to civil divisions? Just a matter of waiting for an opening?

If I did get the job, how feasible would it be to move USAOs in a few years? I saw that there may technically be a method of "transferring" offices (particularly within the same district), but for the most part moving would mean applying to an open position at another USAO. I am from the south (and went to law school there) but licensed in the northeast. I wouldn't necessary want to move/transfer to these places specifically, but I would want to move to a larger legal market for sure (truly hard to move to a smaller one). Would previous AUSA experience, even in a small market, give me a good shot at moving into a larger market (despite my lack of law school prestige)?

Ultimately, I need to decide pretty quickly whether I want to keep sending out these A3 clerkship applications, take the interview with the USAO here, or some third choice (moving into private practice, most likely). Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

So over and over this happens, and yet, clearly, pleadings are being churned out and filed full of AI crap.

“Robinson said she used an AI tool called Irys, which she incorrectly thought was tied to her law firm’s subscription to a legal research tool called Westlaw, which she thought ‘performed an internal cite check.’ She was mistaken, she wrote.”

I am a lawyer. I do watch Tiktok sometimes in the evening or over lunch. It's not for everyone but it's a nice little break.

I'm really curious about the lawyers who are making Tiktoks about televised cases. I have opinions but they are pretty weak sauce (e.g. the bow thing in the Lindsay Clancy case is stupid, though honestly as stunts go it seems pretty mild) and I have no illusions that anybody would care what I think. I don't have time to watch enough of the trial to have a particularly sophisticated opinion and be sure that whatever I did see has proper context.

Are the attorneys who are watching the trial and critiquing the trial techniques watching the whole trial?

AITAH? My issue is effective use of time. I work mainly in a downtown area of my city but see clients in a different office in another part of town approx 1 hour away. There is no other reason for me to go to this other office. Since I work with a client demographic that can be somewhat unreliable, I always confirm appointments the day before.

Today, I had 2 meetings scheduled. I reached out to both yesterday and again this morning. No response at all. I feel justified in canceling these appointments even though there is a chance that these clients are still coming to their meetings. For me, the added commute of 2+ hours takes away from my working hours and is also just a pain in the ass.

I do feel guilty because I want to give my clients, who are categorically underprivileged, more chances at success. But I also value my own time. Am I overthinking this?

I was working late with a client in my office before a big custody trial. Around 3am or so I stepped out to use the bathroom and when I came back, I came back to find my client with his pants around his ankles taking a piss in the office sink. I asked him what his problem was, and he said he really had to go. I reminded him that the bathroom was literally down the hall and that he had used it many times before.

His response was basically, “Oh, well.”

I was completely speechless. The bathroom was right there. I have no idea what possessed him to decide that my office sink was the appropriate alternative.

Has anyone else ever dealt with something this bizarre from a client?

A colleague went on a rant today about lawyers saying “at this time.”

He says it’s dated, throat-clearing, Neanderthal brain babble. Basically one of those dumb lawyer phrases we should all stop using.

Counterpoint: absolutely the fuck not.

Is it unc / Old-head? Yes. Does it add anything to the literal meaning of the sentence it precedes? Probably not. Has any normal human ever said those words in that order in any context in real life? Probably not.

I do not fucking care. You can pry it from my cold, dead hands, you Bryan Garner economy-of-words little shits.

Sometimes you’ve been examining a witness for 45 minutes. The judge is looking down. Opposing counsel is in a fugue state or playing sudoku or some shit. And I need to move in these stupid invoices on a business record exception.

“At this time, Your Honor…”

See? glad to see you, everyone. Welcome back. That’s all it does. That’s all I need it to do.

This job is hard. Let me have my stupid little transition phrase.

At this time, I’d like to end my post and ask the court for your upvotes please. Thank you.

Biglaw litigator / indentured servant here.

My team was deep into trial prep when an 11th hour settlement was reached between the parties. Litigation, amirite? I did breathe a sigh of relief as I had been burning the midnight oil and was looking forward to a more normal schedule and even some down time at least in the foreseeable future.

I made a comment about this to a colleague and that prompted a light hearted discussion about what we're going to do now that we had some breathing room. One of the juniors piped in that he had some big plans now that he had some flexibility. "What's on deck?", I asked without giving it a second thought. He quickly replied that he was going on "gaycation".

I guess I must have made some sort of involuntary facial expression because he repeated himself, this time more forcefully, and launched into a detailed description of what exactly is a "gaycation". Apparently this is a thing a lot of younger guys are doing. Maybe they saw it on TikTok? They go somewhere warm, usually overseas, do a bunch of gay shit with each other, and then come back home and act as if nothing happened. It doesn't count, he explained, because you're overseas and everyone is mostly straight and tested. Then you go back to normal life. Kind of like "The Purge" but with less violence and fewer chick's.

Kind of don't know what to make of this. Either he's trolling or I am officially the old guy.

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Defense case day 2

Navigating career pivots would be so much easier this way.

Senator Mike Lee (R-Utah) has introduced a bill to restructure the circuit court of appeals in western states. The bill would have the Ninth Circuit retain jurisdiction only over California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, and select overseas territories. Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and Alaska would move to the Eighth Circuit. Arizona and Nevada would move into the Tenth Circuit.

The Circuit Court of Appeals Reorganization Act of 2026 (S. 5347) was introduction on August 6, 2026. Several other Senators in western states have co-sponsored the bill. Previous proposals to break up the Ninth Circuit have failed and died in committee.

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