r/ForeverAloneWomen

It is insane. I am so obsessed with women's bodies to the point I sometimes think I am a lesbian but I'm not😭.

It's just that to me it feels like I've never actually saw boobs in my life because I have none so they seem like something out of this world for me.

I frequently imagine myself with their boobs, how weirldy feminine would that feel and how sexy would it be. But it is beyond sexy...I just can't imagine how would it be to actually be a real woman with boobs😭

Most days I’m fine with being forever alone, and have gotten better with just accepting it. But when I hear people telling stories about how they met their partner, or how they dated a lot when they were younger in highschool and college, or how they lost their virginity - it triggers intense grief for me. I grieve that my life has just passed by without having any of those milestone experiences, I grieve how no one thought I was lovable enough to want to be with, I grieve that even now at my big age I will never experience what most people have when it comes to dating and relationships, I grieve that I’m just fundamentally broken. Even when I attempt to try to talk to men, I get nowhere because no one wants me. I wish that I could somehow just turn back time and be a completely different person, or maybe if my upbringing wasn’t full of trauma and struggles things would have gone differently. I deeply grieve a life that I could never have or experience.

I had a really shitty and disappointing doctor's appointment now, nothing life threatening but more frustrating because of my chronic illness. Of course no one to comfort me, so I just hid in my room in the dark and tried to nap to forget it. The thought that came to my mind as it always does is eventually I will be dead, and all of this, the loneliness, the pain, the never ending misery of life will be gone. I will be free, one day. Hopefully soon.

This is so embarrassing, but idk where else to go with this experience. I cope with my lack of romantic love in my life with major maladaptive daydreaming. I always picture myself with scenarios with my crushes, or like random guys that i pick that i kinda know but i don't actually know. anyways i got high the other night and was picturing scenarios as i was falling asleep, and i visualized myself being held and i don't know why but i really felt it in the moment that intense feeling of intimacy and i opened my eyes and just started to cry. I was so sad that it's so out of my reach. The last time I was held like that was when I was 19, and I'm 23 now, and it was so short-lived. I want it so bad, and it kills me that I can't have it.

This post has everything to do with my loneliness; it's just one aspect of it. Ever since the man I liked got engaged, it's becoming more of a habit of me to look at people's fingers to see if they're wearing a wedding band. Sometimes I can't tell if it's a fashion ring or not (with regard to women wearing one), but most of the time I can tell if it's a legit wedding ring worn by either a man or woman. I hate making it look like it's only about a piece of jewelry but if I had enough money, I'd be tempted by buy myself a wedding ring and wear one, because I hate my hand looking bare. The only problem with that is that if it's hard enough to get a man with no ring on my finger, then it would be next to impossible with a ring on it.

I just thought it would be nice to start a thread where we each post a positive comment about ourselves, and then we all reply to the other comments with nothing but love and positivity.

I'll start in the comment section.

I was planning to go to the theatre today but I didn't book my ticket in advance. Of course, I went solo, just by myself as always. Turns out the show was sold out and I was told to stand on the side of the line just in case some people don't show up. As I was standing there all by myself watching people going in I felt so awkward. I usually am fine with being by myself, I always go places alone. But something about standing there like a loser who didn't buy a ticket in advance and people looking at me, it got to me. The cherry on top of the cake was when the lady came to me and told me they won't have a seat for me and there's no point in waiting. Talk about the walk of shame. I came home and cried. I'm all alone. I'm fine with being in the background in events and stuff, but the moment I stand out even a little I feel terrible. It would be so much easier if I had a plus one, everything would be easier.

As for tonight, trashy reality TV it is, I guess.