u/Constant_Dig9746

hey all. i 23f am getting a little discouraged lately when it comes to dating. when i go out, i am only ever approached by older men. i’m talking men twice my age. i’ll sometimes see similar aged guys looking at me and smile at them, but nothing ever comes out of it. the relationships and hookups i’ve had in the past were all because i initiated/approached the guy first, but a part of me is wondering if they just settled for me considering im rarely ever approached by them.

i think im pretty, but i am definitely not the most beautiful girl in the room. I am comfortable in how i look and i know that confidence matters a lot. i’m usually not rejected when i approach, but the only guys that approach me literally could be my father and it’s making me feel a little doubtful about myself. if it matters i live in a major city and go to younger bars and clubs so it’s not like i frequenting places with an older age demographic. i also don’t believe it’s because i look older, because the first thing out of the older guys mouth is either "do you go to [x college in the city]" or "what year are you in school" so i think i look my age. what can i do to change this? is it maybe my body language that’s throwing guys off? please any advice will help.

just what the title says. i work 7 days a week 12-17 hours a day (2 jobs). both of them are horrible and bring me no joy. the first one being very mentally draining. i have a degree but i need experience before i can actually get a good job. i graduated last august, havent been able to see my friends, do any of my hobbies, or have any time to myself since starting work. all i have time to do is go to my first job, go to my second job, and get home, and by the time i get home i have to wake up for my other job in 5-6 hours. im starting to lose sleep because i dont want to wake up for work the next morning. im drinking a lot now and am just in general fucking miserable. ive been starting to hope i dont wake up in the morning at all whenever i go to sleep. i hope i get too drunk and choke on my own vomit. i just have no desire to be here anymore.

i know this shouldn’t come as much as a shock considering it’s the northeast, but any person of color should avoid this bar. it used to be called sharkies, renamed mayfair bar under new ownership. i went there (biracial) after a funeral today with my mom and step dad (both white). I had tried to play a song on the touch tunes but was told it wasn’t working, no big deal, so i sat back down. Spoke with the manager and he was very friendly.
my step dad went back later in the night because my mom and i went to our rec sports league. my step dad talked with the manager again and brought up the touch tunes and how he wanted to play a song also. the manager said "you were with that black girl and i don’t want any of that type of music here." Not that it should matter, but i was trying to play an alice in chains song, but clearly he had his own stereotype of how I would act and what "type of music i would play." As a person of color, or anyone that doesn’t support stereotyping/racism, i wouldn’t go to this bar. they’ll take your money and be nice to your face but belittle you when you leave.

edit: grammar