r/AskWomenNoCensor

Recently happened. I was getting along with a woman really decently I would say. She said she found me amusing , we did not chat super frequently but whenever we did we bantered and had lively conversation. She enjoyed that I flirted with her. Until one day we were talking about heatwave and how she was finding it very difficult to deal with it with her cat. I suggested her to move to a cooler place for a few days if its possible. She replied , there is no place like home and she is doing her best to make it as safe as possible for her cat. We ended the conversation on friendly terms with her big heart emoji. Me being someone living away from my home , her home statement made me a bit emotional and later that day I texted back to her that specific comment 'you talk like my mom'. She read and did not reply. Sensing something was off a day later , i sent a detailed story of the time I left my home and how my mother still tells me to come back in case there is a trouble. She read none of that and few days later I found out she unfollowed me. How bad was the remark from my side ?

Hi all,

For context, I am a 24 year old man with little relationship experience which is likely why I don't know a lot on this topic. Over the past year, I've been making a good effort to meet more friends and potential partners after being fairly isolated socially in engineering school. As I've gotten to connect with more women either through dating apps or platonic female friendships, I have been feeling the sense that a lot of people, including both men and women, seem to be pretty rigidly fixed on the idea of following traditional gender roles in relationships. As an example, there always seems to be this expectation on dating apps and among female friends that the men is to be the pursuer (asking out, planning dates, paying in full, doing grand romantic gestures like picking flowers, etc) and women to be treasured as precious and fragile.

Maybe most people really are fine with this concept but I don't really feel that way. I'm not even trying to be performative and saying how much I really align with feminism even though I'm a leftist, I just genuinely don't like doing these things assigned to me just because I'm a "man." If people demand equal pay, why should I be expected to be the first one paying on dates? If you don't want to be a housewife, why am I expected to pamper you and shower you with compliments and flowers like you are a delicate princess (even if it's actually in a manipulative way that is extremely ungenuine). I can understand gift giving to each other in genuine ways that's actually reciprocated, I'm only really referring to where it's one-sided and it's the men doing all the pampering. That feels incredibly ungenuine to me, and it seems to push for this protector / protected dynamic and literally reinforcing men's expectations to be stoic and women's expectations to be fragile and "sacred." I don't want to live in the fucking 1950s.

Honestly a perfect first date for me sounds like grabbing coffee and just talking about our intellectual interests, including a bunch of nerdy topics, and see if we can have an engaging conversation. I don't really feel emasculated at all if I split the check, I just don't really care. Maybe it's because I grew up in a household with hard working and independent women and an unemployed dad, which caused me to never really internalize gender roles as much as other men and women.

So I'm left here asking this question in an attempt to make a reality check. Do I just have bad experience, severely misinterpret others motives, or have genuinely accurate views on this? Obviously, not all women agree with each other on this topic and I know some will not care, but it makes me sad to see how traditional lots of people actually are despite the fact that feminism is so mainstream and supposedly "accepted" now.

met a new partner, and after a few weeks noticed an odour which is most likely a unbalanced Ph level, I really do care about this person and want to bring it up in the most polite and mature way possible, while i understand its extremely common and normal to have happen, i don't want to seem insensitive by bringing it up.

I wouldn't bring it up immediately before or after sex, and understand that it can be extremely embarrassing or awkward. should i just "rip off the band-aid" so to speak, say it and move on with the evening/conversation?

i really enjoy my time "down there" and don't want it to ever become awkward, we've only been seeing each other for a few weeks. as far as i understand it doesn't really go away on its own without either medical Ph balancing oral/suppository and perhaps lifestyle change if reoccuring, and very well could have been caused by myself being a new sexual partner as well

How do i do i bring up this topic as politely as possible. id rather do it in person than over a phone call, Text message is out of the question.

I am 33F and have struggled with relationships my whole life. I’ve never had a serious relationship/boyfriend because I’ve somehow picked men that lost interest in me quickly every time, leaving after they got what they wanted or choosing someone else over me.

I understand that nobody is the key your happiness but I’m nearly 34 years old and there does come a point where you feel somewhat depressed and worthless because no one loves you, chooses you or wants to be with you. The last one traumatised me so badly, I haven’t touched a man in nearly 2 years because I just can’t bring myself to! However at the age I’m at, time is sort of running out if I wanted to have kids so I want to be positive about things but can’t.

People tell you to “go to therapy” and “heal” but I’ve got a best friend who has so many issues, hasn’t done any of that and still met someone a few months ago who utterly adores her and treats her really well. She’s very happy and I’m now acutely aware I’ve no idea what that feels like and probably never will.

It’s getting to a point where I’m not really seeing the purpose in my life anymore and am struggling to see through the fog. I get I’m not helping my cause by avoiding men in the last 2 years but I’m so devastated from the last one I cannot put myself out there just to get hurt again. I’m completely in survival mode. I guess my question really is did anyone else ever feel this way, at what age and how did you navigate feeling like this? Did you meet anyone in the end or not? How did you survive feeling like this? I’m really very lost and have hated my 30s so far.

Women generally bear more risk in relationships. If an unexpected pregnancy happens, the physical, emotional, and often career-related consequences fall disproportionately on the woman. Even without children, women often end up taking on more domestic labor in live-in relationships.

Because of that, I don't see the benefit of living together without the legal and social commitment of marriage. If we've already dated for 1–2 years, communicated well, met each other's families and friends, and handled conflicts together, I don't think living together is necessary to know whether we're compatible.

To me, if a man genuinely knows he wants to spend his life with a woman, I'd expect him to move toward marriage rather than an indefinite live-in arrangement.

I know many people disagree, and I'm genuinely curious why. If you support live-in relationships, what benefits do you think outweigh the risks—especially for women?

We got a pool this summer. First time my daughter and I have been in a pool on a regular basis, and I've already noticed our hair getting dry and unhealthy looking.

I have thick, long hair. My daughter has thinner, red hair. Typically we try not to wash it daily. But after swimming it feels sticky so it's getting washed a lot more often. Even the best conditioners I know of aren't helping much.

What has worked for all you poolside ladies out there??

I so wanna see a rock/metal band with female members that don't sing, but just shred the guitar/base like a Valkerie or on drums. Why can't we have a female equivalent of Slash?

What is the reason for this?

I’m a woman, this isn’t about me. My male cousin told me that he says disrespectful things to his wife (under the guise of it being a joke?) but he says it in our native language that she doesn’t speak, she’s not of our cultural background. when I heard that I instantly thought: abusive. what do you think?

edit: pls read my extra comment of a little more context before replying, thx. I'm valuing all opinions

I'm genuinely confused about something that's happened throughout my life. I'm not trying to brag, I honestly want to understand what's going on.

I'm a fairly quiet, reserved guy. I don't usually approach women, make the first move, or flirt much. Despite that, I've noticed that some very attractive women (the kind most people would call 9s or 10s) seem to show interest in me in real life. Sometimes it's prolonged eye contact, smiling, trying to be around me, starting small conversations, or playful teasing.

The strange part is that I almost never realize they're flirting in the moment. I usually interpret it as them just being friendly. Hours, days, or even months later, I'll replay the interaction in my head and suddenly think, "Wait... was she actually flirting with me?"

Friends have also pointed out situations where they felt a girl was clearly interested, while I had absolutely no clue. They say I'm decent-looking (maybe better than I give myself credit for), but I don't consciously do anything to attract attention.

So my question is: why does this happen? Is it common to completely miss flirting signals? Is it because I'm inexperienced, socially unaware, or just overthinking things afterward? I'd love to hear if anyone else has had a similar experience and how they learned to recognize genuine interest without assuming every friendly interaction is flirting.

A masculine person compared to a boyish person?

Can it be size? Muscles/big frame?

Ability to fight?

Ability to “do”, maybe build something from scratch, fix things around the house, etc..

Great at sex?

Prestigious salary/career?

High testosterone?

What makes the distinction for you?

Edit: I mean in terms of how you perceive them. Not the legal age

I’m curious if the older you get you stop caring about body hair?

When I first met my husband I shaved my pubic hair thinking this was what all men wanted (I was 18, we’re now late 30s). Once we start officially dating he actually asked if I would stop shaving which I was fine with. Less work for me and I really didn’t care. He prefers me having body hair. He’s never cared me not shaving my legs all winter either. And recently he asked if I would stop shaving my underarm hair. I can for a short time but I can’t personally leave it. He says he feels weird that he likes it. He also has a lot of body hair / facial hair.

So I’m wondering do your preferences match up to your SO? Do older men like women with body hair?? Super curios

I’ve been texting this girl a lot recently. She usually replies fast, gives good responses, and the vibe has been great. We even talked about relationship stuff — she said things like “it’s good you’re an extrovert, I can coexist next to you” and even joked about me moving closer to her apartment.

She also told me she rejects invitations from other guys, but she accepted my lunch date offer and even invited me out herself. So overall, I thought things were going really well.

But one day she suddenly became super cold and dry over text. She told me she was having cramps — day 3 and apparently the worst so far ( wht she told me ) — so I figured she wasn’t feeling well and I gave her space, as the text was also so dry and i assuemed she doesnt wanna text. I stopped texting for a bit.

Next day, she was the one who texted me first with “hey, you good?” which made me happy… but then her next messages were dry again. Like, if she’s not interested, why text me first? And if she is interested, why the sudden 180 in her tone?

I’m not trying to overthink, but I genuinely don’t get what’s going on. Maybe some input from the ladies?

I'm genuinely torn about how to handle this.

I left my emotionally abusive husband about two years ago, and since then he has been pretty relentless about trying to stay in my life. He reaches out all the time, pretty much daily (I have him muted) and he has said on multiple occasions that he would be willing to have any level of relationship that I would allow whether it be friendship, dating each other again, or engaging in intimate acts (which honestly, barf). He has said several times that he hasn't dated anyone since we split and is "working on being happy single". Cool, bro.

I have had to see him occasionally because this doofus refuses to change his mailing address (and trust me I've tried handling this myself and it doesn't seem like there's a way to do it that isn't a felony lol) which I know is just a tactic to keep me in his orbit. I typically grey rock him, and I've also directly told him his behavior is inappropriate. Obviously I do not trust that he's changed and I have moved on with my life.

This morning I got a message from an unknown number from a woman who says she has been his partner for over a year and they currently live together. She says she recently found out that he has been in contact with me despite him saying we have zero relationship, and she wants me to confirm that we're just platonic friends. I don't know how she got my number, or if he knows that she contacted me, but I'm guessing she saw his messages or something and is very (rightfully) confused. I mean, technically we have not slept together since we were married, but that 100% seems to be because I haven't allowed it. This man has literally been trying to get with me the whole time.

I don't know whether to respond to her or just ignore her and block. On one hand, I really feel bad for her because I know what it's like to be deceived to the point of doubting my own instincts, which seems to be the case if she's reaching out to me for clarity after catching him in a lie. I think it's super gross that he's lied about not dating anyone the whole time they've been together, on the off chance I was willing to engage with him again. If it was me I would want to know the truth, and it just feels like the right thing to do.

On the other hand, it took a lot for me to extricate myself from this awful relationship and heal from his abuse, and I don't know if it's wise to get caught up in a mess he made to help someone who may not even take what I say at face value anyway. I think I may be more inclined to talk to her if they were already broken up, because I'm also considering any blow back if what I say to her gets back to him.

Should I respond and be honest with her or should I just leave it alone?

ETA: I truly appreciate all of these responses, thank you. You've all given me a lot to think about. I totally agree that severing ties with him completely and sorting out the mail situation is the top priority. This post is moreso asking for advice on whether or not to respond to her.

Women who used to have low libido or struggle to orgasm: what made the biggest difference?

Looking for genuine personal experiences.

Thanks in advance!

Had a random talk with a fwb guy I have a few days ago about if I or any other woman he's with were pregnant and he was the dad, would he be sober because I'm supposed to be during pregnancy. He said no, he probably wouldn't, but he certainly wouldn't get pissed drunk. I personally wouldn't care if he drank a few beers here and there, I generally don't mind it with anyone if I have to be sober and they're not, like if I'm driving or something. But what do you think and if you've been pregnant, how was that handled? I think I as the mom would have the right to ask the guy, but I wouldn't demand he doesn't drink occasionally.

I have heard a few times from some people that it is quite challenging to find such clothes. On paper that sounds like it shouldn't be true given how many places you can get clothes and how many different people make them, but I know I really suck at fashion and clothes shopping and I am not a very good reference for that kind of issue and knowing whether it's true or not.

My girlfriend is one of the most beautiful women i’ve ever met, i really want her to know that because she deserves it.

I sometimes worry that she eats too little, she has struggled with eating disorders in the past and is very self conscious about her weight, even though she’s skinny. I genuinely would not mind at all if she put on some weight, she would still look absolutely gorgeous to me. I would hate it if she thought that i wouldn’t think she’s pretty anymore if she stopped being this skinny.

How do i best communicate to her that I think she’s insanely beautiful (both in general figure and features that have nothing to do with weight, like her eyes) without making her think it’s because of her weight, and that i would still find her equally as attractive if she put on some weight?