Partner 24m says they were assaulted. I 23m feel like they cheated and am not sure what to do?
I (23m) have been arguing with my partner (24m) for a few weeks now about lack of intimacy (he has been saying I have been giving a lack of intimacy to him) It started a bit ago due to stress with jobs/moving/surgery/wrecking a car. Seriously just one thing after another. The situation is almost too long to explain. We had an argument a few days ago where I mentioned he is incredibly co-dependent and needs to get out and make friends. They do not have any friends/family outside of me and I believe that’s why they are unhealthily attached.
Today my partner tearfully informed me that they had downloaded Grindr with apparently the sole intent to make a friend, went to a guys house without telling me, and played video games with him. Apparently it escalated and the guy overstepped a boundary and tried to kiss him and he panicked and left. Apparently he immediately started crying and froze up and ran out the door.
I’m just a bit at a loss for what to do. I feel like I’ve been cheated on. He’s saying that he was assaulted and didn’t want it to go anywhere and was just trying to make a friend but I’m having a hard time believing due to recent arguments. After some research I understand that yes people do use Grindr to make friends with other gay people and can put FRIENDS ONLY in their bio to specify I’m just a bit heartbroken over this entire event. After 7 years we have never had this be an issue so I am just not sure what to believe. I have no way of knowing what actually happened and if I’m being told the truth.
The entire day afterwards he has been crying and insisting that’s what happened. Begging for forgiveness. Telling me he was assaulted and that it was never supposed to happen. I told him I need space because I feel like I’ve been cheated on and I’m having a hard time processing. He’s been in therapy and has recently gone off some harder psychiatric medication and has been having lapses in judgement. He has had some harder life events happen to him recently. He’s told me he just froze up the second the guy overstepped the friend boundary and tried to kiss him.
I would feel really bad if I’m supposed to be comforting my partner right now instead of being incredibly mad. Mad that he downloaded this app to go meet a man and not let me know. Putting himself in a situation he never would have had to be in. Please I’d really like advice on what to do. I have never worried about this in our 7 years together and I’m at a bit of a loss. We just celebrated our seventh anniversary a few weeks ago.