I’m 4 months pregnant and my boyfriend told me that nobody likes me, everyone hates me, and his brother’s hatred of me is a reason to end our relationship. I need an outside perspective on the entire situation.
My boyfriend and I started dating in April of 2026. At the time, I didn’t believe I was ready to get into a relationship, but soon after our first date, our love hit me by surprise.
From the moment it was known that he and I were seeing one another, I received harassment from the beginning, up until even a week ago, from his ex-girlfriend. Not knowing my boyfriend super well yet but still falling in love with him, each of her messages upset me, and I questioned whether she was telling the truth because I was still getting to know him.
**JUNE 12**
On June 12, I found out I was pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby.
He kept calm that night and reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that we’d make a decision together the next day.
**JUNE 13**
The next morning, he woke up and left for a game he had already planned to go to in New York.
I didn’t say anything that morning about him going because he reassured me that he was playing the game and coming home. He also asked me to wait for him before going to the hospital so we could get confirmation together.
As the day went on, I grew more stressed about the pregnancy and ultimately did not wait for him. I went to the hospital with my friend.
During the day, I was updating him, but he had minimal responses because he was at his game.
After his game, he told me several times after 4 p.m. that he was on his way home. He had driven up with his brothers, though, and was unable to get home by himself at the time.
As more time went on and he continued insisting that he was on his way home and saying he already left when he didn’t, I felt abandoned and assumed he was lying to me. I grew angry because he had to follow his family to a bar because he didn’t have another ride.
I screamed at him on the phone to get home and to Uber home.
He eventually told me he was on his way.
During that time, I received three FaceTime calls from his brother and cousin. By the third call, I answered. I assumed maybe they had left with my boyfriend and he couldn’t get in touch with me.
As soon as I answered, both his brother and cousin were yelling:
**“What kind of cunt makes him Uber home from New York?”**
They repeated it several times.
I was in such a rage because of what they had said that I started rambling things off as quickly as I could.
I told them they didn’t know the situation, that I was already months pregnant, that my boyfriend wanted to have the baby, and basically said, “Who the fuck are you guys to call me when you don’t know the situation?”
I lied during that conversation out of anger. I was trying to say anything I could to make them feel bad for calling me a cunt.
Eventually, around 9 p.m., my boyfriend got home after Ubering back.
By that point, I had already convinced myself that he had abandoned me. I was heartbroken both by that and by what his family had called me.
When he showed up at my friend’s house. That night, I called my boyfriend a pussy. I grabbed my phone and pretended I was going to call my ex. I told him my ex was ten times better of a person than he was and that at least my ex wouldn’t react this way or abandon me during this situation.
I said each and every one of those statements specifically to hurt him, make him feel bad and upset him.
**None of it was true.**
After waking up the next day and from that point until now, I have regretted what I said.
It hurts the most when you say things you don’t mean at all to the person you love simply because, in a moment of sadness and desperation, you want them to feel the pain you’re feeling.
**THE ABORTION CONVERSATION**
A few days passed, and my boyfriend and I were doing okay.
I told him that I didn’t believe in abortion and that I felt that with us being 25 and 24 with stable jobs, getting an abortion was horrible. We got ourselves into this situation, and we should deal with it together.
My boyfriend said having the baby was not the best decision for us right now.
I told him that if I were to get an abortion, I wouldn’t be able to continue the relationship with him.
Every day being with him, being around his little cousins whom I love, seeing him interact with them, and looking at him wondering if our baby would’ve had his eyes would’ve killed me.
I couldn’t imagine keeping him in my life after making such a drastic decision.
My boyfriend still doesn’t understand my point and says:
**“If you truly love me, you wouldn’t say that.”**
**HIS FAMILY GETS INVOLVED**
Fast-forward a few days.
My boyfriend received a text from his brother that essentially said:
\> “Yo bud, I’m just texting you because I love you. I know a lot more about her than you or she would think I know. She’s played this pregnancy game multiple times with different people. She’s said some pretty fucked-up things about our family, including how she wouldn’t want her kid tied to our family.
\>
\> In a five-minute phone call, she lied multiple times and has lied a lot since you’ve been with her.
\>
\> I know exactly the type of girl she is, and I know she’s putting you under pressure because that’s what girls like her do.
\>
\> Being in a relationship with a manipulative liar is one thing, but having a kid with one is a whole different ball game. It can and will literally fuck your life up emotionally and, most importantly, financially.
\>
\> I know how much you like her, and that’s why she’s pissing me off. I know she thinks she’s crazy and scary, but before making a decision that big, I’m more than happy to air her out in front of you and catch her in lie after lie so you can see for yourself.”
I wanted to prove to my boyfriend and his family that I had nothing to hide, so I agreed to sit down and talk with all of them.
The situation they were talking about involved my ex I was with for 3 years.
We broke up because he slept with someone from the gym we both went to.
After a month of us not being together and officially deciding we were done, I slept with someone else.
**We used full protection.**
I found out I was pregnant.
The new person I had slept with was wondering why I would no longer answer him. I told him I was pregnant and needed to figure things out with my ex.
He told me, “Maybe the condom broke and it’s mine.”
I never once thought it was anyone else’s baby besides my ex’s.
Between confirmation of how far along I was and the timing, my ex and I knew it was his baby.
That is exactly what I explained to my current boyfriend’s family about the past situation they had heard about.
During this conversation on the couch, his brothers proceeded to tell me that I could have an abortion and that there was a pill to take for “mistakes like this.”
My family wasn’t getting involved, and I didn’t believe his family should be involved either.
So while explaining myself on that couch, I still stuck up for myself as well.
**NOW**
I am now four months pregnant.
My boyfriend and I have had our issues since June, but somehow we continued finding a way to make us work because where there has been stress, there has still been love — and now we have a baby involved.
From June until now, I have felt alone during this pregnancy.
The thoughts of what his family said linger.
My boyfriend’s love for me changed after the horrible things I said on June 13.
I started going to therapy, and I began having horrible thoughts that I’m already failing as a mother because my boyfriend and I aren’t doing well.
I have felt stuck and desperate.
I asked my boyfriend if he would now consider adoption because I can’t see a way out, and I’m concerned about the life this baby will have.
I never had these thoughts before because, in the beginning, I thought so highly of him and assumed we’d eventually be okay.
It’s not because I want at all to make any decision
It’s not because I don’t already love my baby.
It’s because now that he’s growing, I’m scared I can’t give him the life he deserves with two parents who love each other.
I told him I want this baby and I don’t want to make that decision , but I can’t do this alone, and I’m scared that we aren’t giving this baby a good life already.
**THE NIGHT EVERYTHING CHANGED**
Fast-forward to the night of August 16, 2026.
I am now four months pregnant.
My boyfriend was at a bar while his ex — the same ex who has repeatedly contacted me — was there.
He was telling me how much he loved me and that seeing her made him realize he wanted me around.
Despite being pissed that he was even in a place where his ex was, part of me felt happy because he was saying something that made me feel like he was choosing me.
He asked me to pick him up and, a couple of texts later, said he needed to talk to me.
I had work in the morning, but I left my house to get him after he had been drinking all day.
When I picked him up, he looked at me in the car and said:
**“This isn’t working.”**
I had absolutely no idea where the shift came from.
At **1:10 a.m.**, he told me he loved me.
At **1:17 a.m.**, he told me to pick him up so we could talk.
Then suddenly our relationship wasn’t working.
He told me his brother absolutely cannot stand me — that he actually **despises me** — and that for his brother to say that, there must be something wrong and we shouldn’t be together.
He told me his brother didn’t even ask to get off work for vacation because he doesn’t want to be around me because he hates me that much.
This is the same brother who called me and called me a cunt.
I started crying.
I told my boyfriend that I have been nice to his brother since that day and have never said another mean word to him.
My boyfriend told me it doesn’t matter.
Then he proceeded to tell me:
**I’m a bitch.**
**Nobody likes me.**
**I’m a piece of shit.**
He told me my reputation is already horrible.
He told me that nobody likes me and nobody ever has anything good to say about me.
He told me that if I walked outside and looked to my left or right, both people would hate me.
When I kept asking him over and over again what I had actually done to make everyone hate me, he just continued telling me that I’m a bitch and a piece of shit.
He told me I hang out with 21-year-olds and that those are the only friends I have. (Not even close to true)
I am not claiming to be perfect by any means.
I have called him names out of anger. I’ve said he’s a fucking asshole during arguments but that is the extent.
I’m not hiding any of that because I want people reading this to understand **both sides** before responding.
But I felt that night changed everything.
He went deep.
He said things that shake you to your core.
And after months of trying to repair our relationship while pregnant with his son, he decided to walk away from the relationship and the effort to make us work.
So I genuinely want people to tell me what they think, even if the answer isn’t what I want to hear.
**After reading the entire story, do you think I’m the problem and I’m failing to recognize my own behavior? Was what I said and did on June 13 enough to justify how his family and my boyfriend have treated me since then? Was telling him I couldn’t remain in the relationship if I had an abortion manipulative, or does my explanation of why I couldn’t stay make sense?**
**And most importantly: Is this relationship something that can realistically be repaired, or have we reached the point where the healthiest thing for our son is for us to stop trying to be a couple and figure out how to be parents separately?**
Please don’t just tell me what you think I want to hear. I included the things I did wrong because I genuinely want an outside perspective.
Since the night he said all those things about me we haven’t spoken since. He has not reached out.