u/Slow_Membership7589

Tomorrow I am getting my very first tattoo and I am SO excited as I’ve looked up to this artist for like A YEAR!

I wanted to get a gecko or something reptile related on my tricep just above my elbow, and the custom design my artist came back with is FIREEEE I love it.

My mom (who is very against tattoos) loves it too! But she tells me if I get it on my upper tricep I won’t get a job because “times are changing”… which I don’t fully believe. I am a manager at my job, and I know that all of the people that work at my work have tattoos and full sleeves. I feel like personally people have stopped caring about things like that, and especially since my tattoo will be quite small and tasteful I don’t know what else I can say to convince her it’s alright?

I know it comes from a place of love, but I really want it there and I’m not sure how to tell her it will be ok. Any thoughts?

For context, I went through a breakup a few months ago. It didn’t last long, but the situation was very poor.

Recently, my OCD has been off the charts and grasping at everything to make me feel horrible, and no matter how much I logically try to think it through I always end up crying or hurting myself.

I feel ashamed of my thoughts and actions, and I’m convinced I sexually assaulted my partner even though we were never intimate. I feel like a horrible person who deserves nothing but pain.

All it was was kisses on the cheek or hand, which I admit I compulsively asked for consent ALWAYS beforehand, sometimes multiple times. But now I’m wondering; what if the consent wasn’t meaningful enough? What if I hadn’t asked enough times and she felt pressured to say yes? God, even typing this out in trembling. I feel horrible.

I am trying to cope with these thoughts as much as I can but it is completely overwhelming and I feel like shutting down. I don’t deserve to be in public, and I’m scared I will hurt someone.

I can’t even ask for reassurance because I know that just perpetuates the cycle, but if I don’t, I’m convinced Im horrible.