Anyone else here struggle to tell the difference between a real memory and a fake memory/image that ocd has put in your head? Mine always consist of whatever my intrusive thought was a couple of seconds previous
Hi, ive struled with OCD my entire life. recently, ive had this constant thought that something bad is going to happen in october or november. id this common for others? is jt intuition or OCD? any advice? :(
Hey everyone,
I am currently unemployed and I got a job offer but I have a very scary OCD thought telling me if I take the offer a specific detailed bad thing will happen to me
Just because I had that thought when I picked up the phone when the HR called
And I know it makes no sense but I’m so scared and I feel Id rather be safe and unemployed than take the job.
I’ve had OCD since I was a child, from washing my hands 1000 times a day, to obsessive thoughts in health areas and intrusive thoughts about anything.
Now I’m obsessed with the possibility of having autism. I do show some of its symptoms (like stimming, special interests) and I do struggle socially (or so I think).
The thing is as I am scared of an autism diagnosis, I am also relieved by the possibility of having it. Which is weird because usually I am terrified of the possibility of whatever obsession I’m having being true.
I can’t even go for a diagnosis because it’s expensive and I shouldn’t spend this much money on an obsession.
Has anyone dealt with autism OCD? Did anyone actually had autism?
Help:(
Hi. So i need some help. I am 38 year old male. History of extreme anxiety and worry and I get a thought which I seem to fixate on until it passes. No official OCD diagnosis. Yet. Anyway my current situation is this. Ive been very anxious lately as i usually am. Well one day at work I had some groinal aroual at work in the middle of a conversation with a male coworker and it has caused a severe spiral into me questioning my sexuality. Like severe like i cant tell the difference anymore. Now im getting sexually intrusive thoughts constantly at work and gym and its giving me severe anxiety cause IM feeling groinal sensations. As far as I can remember ive been obsessed with women but mind doubts that . I go from sex with my wife to over 5 days a week and wearing her underwear on my face as a joke. To now questioning everything. Really troubled.
I personally thought this was normal how I sometimes think but recently was told it is not. But still definitely does not mean i have traces of OCD like i am not obsessive about being clean i am very chill about most things and I don’t care if other do things differently and im not a perfectonist. But i’m at the gym now and one step has a different sensation to the rest of the steps and I’m battling allowing each foot to get equal sensation of the disabled step. And I have been like this since a kid like if i touched a weird sensation especially on my leg i feel like i need to do it to the other foot until the sensation feels equal or if one foot steps on a weird color i feel the need to go back so my other foot can also step on the colour. BUT this does not hinder my life in anyway and i perfectly can decide to ignore this. This tends to flare up if i am having a stressful time. But like when i was a kid i did this alot then my mom told me I should fight against this and i did. And largely it went away since i stopped feeding it. So most of the time it’s just uncomfortable noise i am feeling but and not something that is out of my control. Like i can force my self to not give in to those feelings and it doesn’t ruin my day if i if ignore it and i don’t think about all day but in the moment if these thoughts come i feel uncomfortable not giving in
When i become extremely comfortable with a person i tell them everything i mean everything my thoughts no matter if it hurts them or not and it fucking sucks with ocd constantly having intrusive thoughts and i feel like utter shit if i dont tell them i will litteraly ball my eyes out if i dont i just recently found out i probably have ocd my entire life theres been something ocd related like i was convinced i had schizophrenia bc i couldnt stop having bad thoughts plus a range of other issues i convinced myself i had, but at the same time its kind of a good thing imagine dating someone that litteraly cant lie to you i would love that and im sure my girlfriend loves it and most likely sometime hates it, anyways im just coming on here to ask if theres anyway to help it i just kinda try to force myself not to have bad thoughts and it works if i block it out for awhile like for each topic like weird thoughts about other girls etc. anybody else have stuff like this? Its kind of a superpower and a curse ive had a previous relationship where i got comfortable with them and told them stuff i did at the beginning of the relationship and they brokeup with me and this time my girlfriend was the one who made me realize i probably have ocd and she completely understands and helps me through it theres been mutiple times where ive bawled my eyes out in her arms and shes the love of my life and basically the reason im writing this to see if theres anything i can to make it easier on her and me.
I spend most of my day monitoring and analyzing my internal emotional state. I’m constantly checking whether I’m anxious, depressed, numb, motivated, energetic, or feeling good. When something feels wrong, I feel compelled to understand it and find a solution, and I can spend hours researching or mentally analyzing it. Finding an explanation gives me temporary relief, but then I start checking again. I don’t know whether this is OCD-related, rumination, anxiety, or something else, but I want to understand what process is keeping me stuck. Is this normal? I honestly feel like it stops me from living the present and it feels really lonely because I feel like I’m the only one that does this :/ it’d be helpful to have some sort of explanation or answer
I get into what I call “jhaw jhaw,” where my mind gets really hyperalert and starts going through random memories on its own. I end up analyzing why a certain memory or thought came up, looking for some meaning or evidence, and paying too much attention to what my mind is doing. It happens most often at night or when I'm switching between activities, and sometimes it makes studying really difficult. I remember i used to loop on statement - "You are, were and will remain stupid" (actually in hindi) but it escalated into continuous random memory scanning suddenly.
My psychologist told me to follow **“no detective work → back to behaviour.”** I'm trying to practise that, but it's honestly hard when the memories just keep coming. Chess/flow state, talking with my family, and getting involved with what's happening around me can sometimes reduce it a lot.
I'm mainly trying to get better at **returning to what I'm doing without getting pulled into the mental scanning**. Has anyone with OCD, Pure-O, rumination, or hyperawareness/sensorimotor OCD dealt with something similar? What actually helped you, and how did you stop your coping strategies from becoming compulsions? Can I use subliminals available on YT?
I literally just wrote something into ChatGPT and it responded back. Totally normal. Causal convo about whatever.
I put my phone down for two seconds and then opened chat again. The messages are gone. It’s like the messages I sent never existed and the AI response never happened.
I’ve been having severe OCD about my memory, and this really is scaring me and making me have mega doubt and fear. If I don’t know what happened here, does that make it possible for me to forget if I did something horrible??
I don’t know what to make of this. What should I do??
3 years ago I took a small piece of this weed brownie, I had a huge panic attack that lasted hours and I saw some very horrible things -that night something inside me broke, physically and mentally.
I live abroad far from my family and it’s been 4 years I don’t go there because I’m scared of flying or taking the train, tunnel eccetera I missed also my grandparents funerals.
This bad trip scared me so much that now I live with OCD, chronic anxiety, panic attacks, depersonalisation, fear of dying, palpitations, chronic gastritis and lots of other symptoms. I’m also not able to work anymore.
I tried therapy few times but didn’t work, I want to try antidepressants but having health OCD I’m scared they’ll kill me. I mean I’m even scared of taking paracetamol…
I’m desperate and I feel like I’m in a cage.
Hello, I'm new to this thread and I'm just looking for some advice please. I am not diagnosed with anything officially but I have been in therapy for the last year and 4 months after leaving an abusive relationship which lasted around 17 years in one form of other (which is over half my life).
The police investigation into my ex is STILL ongoing since last May (she was arrested on threats to kill & coercive controlling behaviour)
My therapist obviously cannot diagnose but it's likely I have CPTSD and OCD, I have health anxiety and my brain will reach to the most catastrophic outcome of things which never materialise.
Around a year ago I discovered ChatGPT and honestly until a few days ago I thought this was a great tool. However, I have had the realisation that I may inadvertently be keeping myself in a loop of reassurance seeking and the instant access to a response is most likely not aiding my recovery. I'm not sure if there are others who were/are in a similar position, but if so, do you have any tips for breaking this cycle please? I'm wanting to move forward so any advice would be most welcome. I appreciate this post in itself is also some form of reassurance seeking 🫠. Many thanks in advance! 💖
Hi everyone. This is my first time posting, though I’ve been lurking for a while. I actually discovered the term ROCD through AI (terrible, I know). In the country where I live, professionals don't seem to use this term. My CBT psychologist said it was just rumination, and my psychiatrist diagnosed me with severe anxiety. So, while I don't have a formal ROCD diagnosis, I resonate with absolutely every story here. Here is a summary of how it all started. In 2023, I got out of a toxic relationship. Shortly after, I started seeing a girl who seemed amazing. However, right from the start, I was hit with relentless questions: "Do you actually like her? Is she trying too hard? Can you do better?" It was a 24/7 loop of crying spells and despair. The idea of dating her officially left me in a panic. When she eventually left, I felt relief (she had a history of dating much older people, which bothered me a lot). During this messy phase, I was talking to an AI about my experiences, asking how to know if you truly love someone. That's when it suggested I might be experiencing Relationship OCD. Around this same time, my current girlfriend (who was just a friend back then) confessed her feelings for me. I initially rejected her.
Instead, I tried getting back together with my toxic ex. Oddly enough, the intense ROCD doubts weren't there with her. I still vaguely doubted my feelings and couldn't picture a future with her, but because I knew she was a shady person and didn't trust her, I wasn't terrified of hurting her. I obsessively stalked her social media until we finally fought and she left for good. A month later, on my birthday, I ended up hooking up with that friend... who is now my girlfriend of 8 months. She is the most perfect person on earth and knows about everything I go through.
However, since the day we first kissed, my anxiety spiked. I am terrified of hurting her. The thoughts of "Do you like her? Do you love her? Do you even want her?" are worse now than in any other relationship. I also started getting weird intrusive thoughts about kissing strangers on the street or having romances with coworkers.
To make matters worse, sometimes it feels like my toxic ex competes for space in my head with my current girlfriend. I get a lot of bad intrusive thoughts and sensations about my ex. I became so obsessed with this that I intensely researched "how to know if you're truly over someone." All of this triggered intense panic attacks (I even had one at work.)
I’ve cried to my girlfriend about how scared I am of hurting her, and I even tried to push her away twice in the beginning, but we couldn't stay apart. I’m terrified of losing her, yet sometimes I feel absolutely nothing. Sometimes I don't want to see her, I find the relationship boring, and I think about breaking up. There are times I wake up wanting to break up, but I would never actually do it. Then my brain says: "You only stay because you’re scared you won't find anyone like her, not because you love her."
We make future plans, which I genuinely enjoy imagining. But I can't do overtly romantic things or give her a promise ring because it triggers severe anxiety.
I can't afford therapy right now due to financial issues, but I am taking 10mg of Escitalopram. Honestly, it has been a lifesaver. The panic attacks and intense crying spells have stopped completely. The intrusive thoughts and numbness are still there, but not having constant panic attacks makes a huge difference.
I have literally prayed to love my girlfriend. I want it to be her, and even writing this with uncertainty brings me immense discomfort. It has been incredibly hard to navigate all of this.
I’m so exhausted. Please read.
I don’t know why, but my OCD brain has fully convinced me that the thing I’m terrified of has already happened, even though logically, I know it didn’t.
I’ve had the horrible fear of “what if I downloaded/looked up something terrible? And then I go to jail forever?” (Yall know what I mean I just don’t wanna type it.)
And I’m like “no of course not, never, I’d never do that” and it’s gone from me being scared like “what if I did it and didn’t know I did it?” And “what if I do it for some reason?” To feeling like, and my brain thinking, that somehow it’s already happened. That I’ve done the bad thing. But I haven’t.
So why can’t I shake this? Why can’t I let it go? I’ve never downloaded/looked up something illegal. Something so horrible like cheese pizza. So why is my brain convinced I have when I haven’t? Why does it feel like my life is over and I’ve ruined everything?
I just don’t know how to let go. Just wanted to put this out there and see what others think.
Thank you. 💛
Lately, I have been feeling that my difficulties are not limited to anxiety itself. My physical anxiety has decreased somewhat compared to the beginning, and anxiety related to other areas of my life does not bother me as much anymore. However, most of my problems seem to have shifted toward relationship-related thoughts. My anxiety is still quite strong in the mornings, and sometimes a particular thought or doubt becomes so distressing that I have a severe panic attack and start crying. The biggest problem, however, is the constant overthinking, analyzing, and checking, which significantly interferes with my everyday life. When I get stuck in these thoughts, I am unable to function normally or concentrate.
I constantly check my feelings toward my partner and try to determine whether I really love him, whether I am looking forward to seeing him, whether I want to spend time with him, whether I am attracted to him, or whether our relationship is really the right one. I also check completely ordinary situations. For example, if I kiss my mother, I immediately start comparing whether the kiss felt the same as kissing my partner and what I felt during it. I often compare my current feelings with the feelings I had in my previous relationship. If a feeling reminds me of my previous relationship, I immediately become frightened and feel the need to figure out what it means. Similarly, at work I check my reactions to my colleagues, especially men — whether I am attracted to them, whether I have any feelings toward them, or whether I am somehow sending them signals. This distracts me at work, and sometimes I am unable to concentrate on what I am supposed to be doing.
When I try not to check, my uncertainty and the urge to verify things increase. I feel that I have to somehow solve the problem and gain certainty. Because of this, I search for information, read about other people’s experiences with similar problems, read articles about relationships, and sometimes even use tarot cards to find out whether I will stay with my partner and whether our relationship will be okay. When I get a positive result or receive some kind of reassurance, I feel calmer for a short time, but it never lasts. Another doubt soon appears. I feel as though no amount of reassurance is ever enough.
I also experience thoughts in the form of commands. For example, “kiss your partner or something will happen to him” or “move your phone or you will break up.” Rationally, I know that these thoughts do not make sense, but in the moment I feel a very strong urge to do what the thought tells me because I am afraid that if I do not, what I fear will actually happen. Because of this, I usually perform the action. In the past, I also moved various objects with the intention of preventing a breakup or some other catastrophe.
I have also started avoiding certain situations and things because of this. For example, I avoid conversations with my friends about their relationships or romantic content on social media because they can trigger me again. I have also started avoiding stronger expressions of affection toward my partner, as well as planning and making commitments for the future, because I feel that until I am 100% certain that I am in the right relationship, I should not behave that way. Sometimes I even avoid certain objects. For example, I might want to buy my favorite ice cream, but then I remember that the last time I ate it I experienced a strong cycle of relationship-related thoughts, so I decide not to buy it because I am afraid of triggering the same state again.
Sometimes my symptoms improve for a while and I feel more like myself again. This lasts until something triggers me, such as romantic content on social media, my friends talking about relationships, a particular feeling, or a memory. Then the checking and analyzing starts again. Before these problems began, I felt good in my relationship. I wanted to spend time with my partner, I looked forward to seeing him, and I naturally thought about our future together. Now I feel the need to constantly verify my feelings. At the same time, I do not want to leave him and I do not want to lose him, but the fact that I cannot constantly verify what I feel scares me.
I feel that the more I try to figure out what I truly feel, the more confused I become. It is no longer just one doubt about my relationship, but a need to check almost everything — my feelings, reactions, memories, compare them with the past, seek reassurance, perform rituals, or avoid things in order to prevent what I fear from happening. When I perform a checking behavior or ritual, I feel temporarily relieved, but then another doubt appears and I feel the need to check again.
Today I described all of this to my psychiatrist, and he told me that these are dependent personality traits rather than OCD. I am honestly so angry and frustrated about this.
I (27F) recently got diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. In the past, that has led to me rushing into relationships with people I didn’t like. Now that I’ve met a girl (about 3 months ago) who I believe is worth it, I want to take it slow and figure out what our connection really is.
I feel like she‘s better for me than anyone I’ve dated before, being in her presence doesn’t trigger my anxiety, she’s genuinely a heartwarming person, I like to talking to her, we have amazing sexual chemistry, and many other reasons. It’s still difficult, I have so much trouble reading my own feelings. I don’t know if I’m in love yet (or even getting there) but last week we spent about four days together. During those days my feelings were very intense and growing each day, I thought I felt about ready to commit to a relationship even though I had a panic attack when those feelings be came too much. She helped me get through that though.
After those four days, my feelings suddenly became a lot less. It went from “I like her so much” to “I guess I like her a littleeee bit”. I had other things on my mind as well and haven’t been in the greatest mood, so I thought that was it but when I saw her again yesterday it barely changed. I do feel something, but not enough anymore and I don’t know what changed. Maybe it’ll come back (likely), but I don’t understand this process.
I wouldn’t want to lose her by making the mistake of downplaying what we have whenever my feelings “shut down”, but I also don’t want to get into a relationship before I’m sure. This going back and forth is taking up so much of my headspace, that it’s almost driving me insane.
Is any of this normal, relatable, or anything like that? I want to get out of the spiral but am aware that may also come with conclusions that I wont like.
May also be good to know that OCD could be in play as well.
this is gonna be a lot but im gonna try and sum it up
i (19F) have been diagnosed with ocd since childhood. I have also experienced cocsa.
in my teen years I had a character I would project horrible scenarios onto involving my traumas, such as sexual assault trauma. it got to a point when I was 18 however where I realized it was getting excessive and I was also worried it would unintentionally further condition me to associate sex with violence and abuse, something I already struggled with. in any case, I dropped this bad coping skill. only after dropping it did I begin to obsessively worry over potentially becoming or being perceived as a pedophile. for months I felt sick and anxious all the time, constantly doubting myself. after getting medicated, these thoughts died down and ultimately went away for quite some time—a long enough stretch that I can confidently say the thoughts were ocd. I eventually stopped the medication I was on due to some issues I had with it. for a while I was fine, but after reaching 19, the thoughts came back, MUCH worse this time.
initially, I just felt guilty over my past coping skill and kept seeking reassurance that using dark fiction to cope didn’t make me a monster. however, it eventually evolved into constant sexual compulsions where I forced myself to masturbate while I was being mentally assaulted by intrusive thoughts to test if I was really attracted to them. sometimes I’d try and do exposure therapy with cute videos on my phone, but usually wind up getting uncomfortable and having to turn the video off—and then masturbating to stop whatever groinal response I was having.
however, I’ve been feeling more and more confused lately. sometimes the thoughts are feeling more like fantasies, never of me acting out on my thoughts necessarily but just any sexual thought involving a child. sometimes a thought will feel REALLY arousing, to the point I can masturbate while thinking about it, even though the whole time im still also upset and anxious and wish it would go away. I hate seeing kids because i know there’s a chance I’ll think about them in a horrific way later and the idea of potentially enjoying it even if i also hate it makes me want to vomit.
I am in therapy and returning to medication and praying that the thoughts stop, but I’m so afraid that they wont. I’m so afraid that I had some sexual perversion about children all my life and that it’s finally surfacing. I can’t stop confessing and explaining my every thought and fantasy to my friends because I don’t want to feel like im keeping a sick attraction secret from them.
please, if this is really not ocd, just tell me. please. I can’t take it anymore.
i’ve been dealing with these problems for around a year now they started like august last 2025 and it was kinda weird like it started with needing to go to the toilet every time i’d go in my room, leave my room, go upstairs/ downstairs before the shower after the shower, then that faded then this was in august is when it got noticeable i’d get around 3-4 showers a day bc i’d randomly just get a weird feeling in my chest lik something was wrong
previous to this id already had a lot of intrusive thoughts but never really actions, then after the showering came washing my hands, then came with my feet too, then my srms, then my face, then my calves and then my thighs, and i couldn’t like go lay in my bed without doing it bc then it felt like my bed wasn’t clean and my bed is the one safe space i’ve got
them it got a lot worse, draining worse, im 15 and i live in the uk so im coming up to having my gcse’s and i’ve been struggling with school a LOT, like my motivation for everything has gone and then came the hand washing which increased to like just washing over and over until i felt rigjt which would lead to my back aching reallt bad and my feet bc i stand like hunched over the sink to avoid touching anything
even mh showers have to follow a routine now and it does sort of include numbers like 3 or 5 are the numbers i like to stick to, 3 5 and 20. but showers became so draining bc id use over half a bottle of soap, my mum would go mental at me but i can’t tell her what’s wrong with me ive tried and she just like says it’s nothing she’s a really good mother don’t get me wrong but things to do with mental health she’s just not very idk understanding towards
right now i’m at a sort of ok period but soon enough it may spike especially as im going into year 11 meaning ill be under exam stress
another question i wanted to ask is what age do u have to be to like go get a diagnosis for something like ocd without them having to get ur parents consent, ive been trying to just hold out until i turn 18, but when its bad its genuinely horrifyingly bad like scary bad, and only one person reallt knows how bad it is but shes my age so she cant really help
Whenever I resist a compulsion, my brain tells me “what if you regret not doing this and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life”. I worry that it will become an intrusive thought. Has anyone else had the same experience and how do you handle it?
Hi, I have a question: does anyone here have this kind of OCD, for example? When I walk beside a trash can without physically touching it—let us say maybe there is half a meter between me and the trash can—I get a feeling that I touched it and I am dirty. It doesn’t need to be a trash can; it can also be dirt or, let’s say, a door handle.
I hope you can answer me. Thank you.