r/burnedout

I worked my ass off to become a lawyer in my 20s. I have been earning over 6 figures since I was 24. I live in a nice rental, am about to pay off a reasonably nice car, but have almost no savings to show for it (because of high cost of rental) (I live in a city with expensive property prices) - I have moved around jobs in the past few years in the same area but feel I am losing interest, motivation and drive. A part of me feels that I dedicated a lot of my life to this and it has become part of my identity. I am also fearful that I am not in a position to change careers, or take a break bc of the bills I currently have. Though I feel I am at a place where I am stuck and not really motivated, it’s causing me to feel quite depressed and anxious. I also don’t really have any family support so I’m on this journey alone. If anyone can share advice or insight I would really appreciate it.
Thank you.

EDIT: I am based in Australia

After a few rounds that this startup that I really wanna work at, the CTO said my python fundamentals are weak and once I make them strong, I can apply again in a month or so, then there will be a small assessment for just that and then we can move forward. I asked him that is a month’s timeline strict as my ts/js is strong and catching up w python will be really quick for me. He said no, whenever you think you’re ready hit me up. He also said in all other areas you’re a fit. Just this thing of fundamentals is the blocker. Mind you, i am struggling financially, have been super disappointed with life lately and I was expecting good news today but this happened. Have been job hunting for a while too.

So I did that, i texted him after 15 days with a screen recording of an agent that I created (same as the assignments they gave me) but he saw the text and hasn’t replied in like 7 hours.

Should I move on or should I follow up?

I am super tired of this and I am being very honest. I just don’t see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I am a director at a midsized company. Twelve people report to me. The pay is great and the product is solid. My boss trusts me to run things without micromanaging. On paper this is the job I wanted two years ago.

I have not had a real vacation since 2023. Evert time I plan time off something breaks. A launch falls or a vendor ghosts us. I spend the break doing damage control from a hotel room. I tell my team to take their PTO and I approve every request. I just don't take my own advise.

Last Tuesday my skip level asked why my team's output dropped the last two quarters. He was not angry. He said I look tired. I laughed and said I was fine.

Today at lunch I sat in my car and cried for 20 minutes. Nothing specific happened . I just started crying and I could not stop. I have worked through flu and family emergencies. I always believe that if I pushed through the next quarter things would calm down. They never calm down.

My partner told me last night she feels like she lives with a roommate who happens to sleep in our bed. She is right. I checked my email at 2 am without thinking. I don't remember the last time we talked about something that wasn't stress

I keep thinking about quitting. But I have mortgage and two kids in private school. Plus unvested equity that keeps me locked in for another 18 months. I have a title and paycheck that most people would kill for. I still cried in a parking garage today.

I have been reading everything I can find about people in my situation. I came across the Close Cohen Executive Transition Report and it made me realize I am not the only director dealing with this. But knowing I am not alone does not fix my Monday.

I have my one on one with my manager in an hour; I don't know if I should tell him the truth or keep performing. If you have been here, how did you get out?

Trying to get through the weekend , no party’s or plans . I’ll be lucky if I even leave the house . Fed up living this way , I have nobody to talk with, have been alone for 5 years now . Is this how it’s going to be .

I can't find any, I just get frustrated and leave.

It's holidays for me, I finished my competitive exam bs a month ago and I am going into a very good collage.

Here is how my day looks,

Wake up at 8am

Try to learn python

Try to mind the energy to work out

Watch movie or web series

Watch TV

watch YouTube, scroll reddit.

Listen to music and sleep

Where the fuck is my time going?

At the beginning of the holidays I told myself I will learn a language (spanish), I will learn python and learn some advanced physics (my main interest) and also get in shape.

I can't find the energy to do any of this.

I also can't seem to find any hobbies.

I don't have much to do at home, I don't want to waste my parents money on my ass, my friends invite me sometimes on trips or hangouts but I have no energy for that as well.

I am so fucking frustrated, nothing (that I can think of) makes me happy,

I like to play football but there is rain so the ground is fucked.

I like martial arts but there aren't any MMA clubs.

All the things I said I'll do in my holidays, can't do anything.

How big of a faliure am i

Anyone felt something dying inside of them..also emptiness in gut...After a break up..what is that...and how to overcome it...

I’m a 24M from Southeast Asia currently living in Japan, and honestly I think I’m reaching my limit mentally.

For the past few years I feel like I’ve just been surviving emotionally.

My last relationship completely destroyed the way I experience love and trust. I gave that person everything I had emotionally, financially, mentally. I stayed loyal, supported her constantly, forgave things I probably shouldn’t have forgiven, and kept trying to save the relationship even after finding out she was talking to and sleeping with other people behind my back.

The worst part is that even after all of that, I still stayed because I genuinely loved her and thought if I just tried harder things would go back to how they were in the beginning.

I think that relationship permanently changed something in me.

Now I overthink everything.
Silence feels like abandonment.
I expect people to leave even when things are going well.

I recently tried dating again because I thought maybe connection would help me feel human again. Met a Japanese girl, things actually went well, then suddenly got ghosted/blocked. I know that’s normal nowadays and maybe especially here, but it completely drained whatever emotional energy I had left.

Now I just wake up, go to school, go to work, come home, sleep, repeat.

That’s my life.

No excitement.
No motivation.
No hope.
No real emotions anymore honestly.

People tell me:
“Go to therapy.”
And maybe they’re right. But I’m in Japan trying to survive financially already, and I honestly don’t have the money to casually spend on therapy sessions. So my brain keeps telling me:
“You need to fix yourself alone.”

The problem is I don’t even want to anymore.

I feel tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.
Not physically. Mentally.

And the scary part is I don’t even feel actively sad anymore. Just empty. Like I’m watching someone else live my life on autopilot.

I know some people will say:
“Things get better.”

Maybe.

But right now it’s hard to believe there’s actually something waiting for me ahead worth continuing for.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this.
Maybe I just wanted to know if anyone else has ever felt emotionally burnt out to this level and somehow came back from it.

Hi guys I just got diagnosed with combined ADHD and the past few days I've felt so tired and burnt out. I play tennis and also need to study, and I'm finding it so hard to practice (because there's a lot of repetition) and also study. I want new experiences and hate routine, but now it feels as though I can't bring myself to do routine work. Am i just understimulated or is this ADHD burnout? Also how do i get over this im so tired. Thanks

Hey all, I (m28) have been trying to date on and off for 2-3 years. My last serious relationship ended about 4 years ago and I spent a good amount of time off working on myself and allowing myself time to heal. Since then, I've been trying to date on and off for a few years but every time I start to get close with a girl whether its been 1 month or 3 months they end up not sticking around and leaving for various reasons.

I know this is the nature of dating and everyone goes through it to some degree but I've had multiple back to back instances of this happening and its genuinely starting to affect my confidence and how I see myself. It's been leaving me feeling like there's something wrong with me that I'm not seeing and I'm trying very hard not to fall down that rabbit hole and be bitter.

I don't wanna vent here but wanted to see if there's some genuine advice anyone has for combating feelings like this and keeping your head held high in the dating world. I just wanna find my person but I don't think I can keep going through these scenarios over and over. Thanks all

I’ve recently made a career change to a job I was really excited about. I’m around a decade into my career and have always been very career oriented/driven. A few months into this new role I just feel exhausted! It’s not the role necessarily, I’m just mentally so tired of…working?! Has anyone dealt with these feelings before and if so how have you navigated them?

I am feeling so lost at the moment. I am an asylee, graduated from college last month, and am now preparing to start law school in August. I have always run away from therapy and psychiatry because of misconceptions from my upbringing and my fear of depending on medication. The only time I have ever had to seek mental health care was when I was processing my asylum paperwork, and I had to go through several days of psychiatric evaluation, which ended with a diagnosis of severe PTSD and general anxiety.

I was a freshman in college and busy with full-time school and work, so I never stopped to give it much thought. But there was always friction, difficulty in starting tasks, getting through them, and even just forming thoughts. I felt like I always had to keep my brain numb by consuming music or media because when I tackled any task or assignment, I felt paralyzed by the thought of messing it up. I have such a big fear of uncertainty, and I feel like it is eating me up.

A year ago, I caved and started therapy through my college. The sessions would always be about the same discussion: how frustrated I am with myself because I cannot do things in a timely manner, as it just seems like my brain cannot handle anything challenging anymore without completely crumbling. In the midst of all this, I was still working full-time and in school full-time, and I graduated with a 4.0, but I would just do things so messily or would always push through with excuses and extensions.

This past December, I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Strattera, but it did nothing. I continued therapy and switched psychiatrists. I got the same diagnosis but was prescribed Adderall. Now I feel stimulated, but not for the right reasons. I spend days hyper-focused on TikToks and reels, and then the pill wears off, the day ends, and I go to bed, only to repeat the cycle. I feel so frustrated and have been feeling this way for the past 4 years.

I’m 20 and I’ve been working at this retail job for nearly 3 years now and every week I’m losing motivation. I work full-time and I get two days off a week. I don’t get full weekends off maybe one day of the weekend and then one day during the week. My hours are all over the place one day could be in Work at 6 am the next day I could be in work till 10:30 pm. I don’t have a proper sleep schedule and It also affects my partner as he tends to stay up late when I come home late because he will just get woke up by me coming home from work even if I be quiet he’s a light sleeper.

Most days I don’t wanna go to work at all to appoint that sometimes I hope that I wake up with a cold so I have an excuse to call out. Many people will probably think why don’t you just get a new job but I’ve been trying for ages now and there’s just nothing in my area and even when I apply for jobs outside of my area I can never seem to get them or they’re either little part-time jobs or I don’t fit their requirements, etc. I’m fully qualified as an esthetician but I cannot find any jobs with this degree.

I would love to drop back down to power time maybe three days a week, but I need the money so I can’t. I’d also love to go to college and do teaching, but I don’t even have the energy for that.

I honestly don’t know where to begin. I constantly focus on other’s before myself and now I realize that it’s a defense mechanism. Why is that exactly? I’m to the point where I don’t know what to do. Sometimes, I wonder if this is for me. I also wonder if I’m just here just to help others with their needs. It’s like no cares until you’re at the bottom of the barrel. Even if I’m not happy, the first thing that I would ask is are you well or have you eaten? Why is that? Why can’t I simply just put my own needs before anyone else’s? Why am I always struggling while others just constantly shift their problems on me? Why do I care?

I'm a mom to an 8-year-old and have an M.Tech degree, but I don't have any professional work experience. I'm trying to restart my career and learn new skills so I can find a job.

The problem is, I can't seem to stick with anything. I'll get excited about learning a new skill, but within a few days I lose interest and jump to something else. It's like I can't concentrate or stay motivated.

Lately, I've also noticed that I don't enjoy the things I used to love. I used to really enjoy cooking, but now it feels like just another chore. Every day feels repetitive and monotonous. I have a good family and I'm grateful for what I have, but I still feel emotionally disconnected. I don't feel like going out, and I don't feel comfortable sharing how I actually feel with the people around me.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Was it burnout, depression, lack of purpose, or something else? How did you get yourself out of this phase and finally start moving forward?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been through something similar.

I don't even know how to put this into words, I'm sitting here trying over and over to find a combination that genuinely describes what I feel or how I feel but I can't. The only thing I can say for sure is numb, I feel numb.

Every single day there's another problem another ordeal, some earth shattering issue from which there isn't a single reprieve.

Everyone relies on you so you can't be weak, have to get up go to work, pay the bills, keep the lights on, food in the fridge, be the emotional support for everyone.

I made this life for myself sure, marriage, kids, house, I made those decisions and have to stick by them but I don't remember where I agreed to be atlas holding the world in my shoulders without a seconds break.

Can't get upset, can't get angry, can't be irritated because it effects everyone. Can't show any emotions other than false happiness just have to be stoic and numb.

This is more of a venting rant than anything.

I'm sorry to anyone who read this. I just needed to get it out.

I started working after college, when I was 20. It's been 20 years now, which means I have another 25 years until retirement, at least.

I work 5 days a week, 9 to 5. Which means the majority of my life is spent working. I get two days off, then I have to go back to it again. I know this is normal, but my question is how do people do it?

Maybe it's just my job, because it's so boring. I work in software development, and it honestly feels like I'm watching paint dry all day. I know I should be happy to have a job right now with everything going on, but I feel like my brain is slowly dieing from boredom.

I look forward to vacation once or twice a year, but that lasts a week, and then I'm right back at it again for another 6 months to a year.

Am I doing something wrong? How is this the normal, accepted life?