r/burnedout

I know this sub wasn't intended for this type of discussions, but I need someone who may relate or expirenced this I wasn't really responsible good sleep, good eating habits and reasonable study time, constant pressure from myself, and ignoring signs of burnout, like insomnia, intense headaches, or wierd sensory signals like wierd metalic tastes or zapping neuron noise. Trying to push though by consuming coffee or listening to music. At some point, my mind snapped and I had mild psychosis symptoms, intense voices and noises, with I felt it was real but it wasn't. combined with strong headache, extremly unreal imaginations inside my mind, paranoja, and life-threating insomia (my mind just refused to sleep, I felt no need to sleep for 3 days, and only after taking meds or after I wasn't alone at my house, I could sleep or even attempt sleeping). my state improved, however I still feel sensory detachment like touch of water being "incorrect", loud noises being very intense, I fell like I overwhelmed my nervous system, my state is quickly improving but violently in non-life-threating way (my mind regenerates but in painfull way) what do you guys, recommed for recovery. I want to somehow pass, while not triggering those states. I have around 12 days before exam sessions will start, is here a possible recovery?

Title: My wife seems to have completely lost her motivation and may be depressed. How can I support her?
My wife has always been an extremely passionate, hardworking, ambitious person. She’s always had a lot of drive and has been very career-oriented.
Over the last 2–3 years, though, she says she’s gradually felt more and more exhausted and burnt out. Recently she told me she feels like she’s been running on empty for a long time and really needs a break. I believe her, so I’ve tried not to pressure her.
She’s currently waiting for her new work permit, so she has been off work for the last 3–4 months. I thought the break might help her recover, but instead, she seems to be getting worse.
She spends 7–8 hours a day on Instagram, mostly just scrolling. She doesn’t seem interested in doing much else. Over the last 10 days especially, she has been very moody and sad, wants me around constantly, and frequently asks when I’ll be home from work. She says she feels lethargic and has no energy to do anything. Even basic things around the house have become difficult for her.
She tells me, “Just be with me. I feel cheerful when you’re around.” And I absolutely want to be there for her. I love her and I don't mind spending time with her. But I also work full-time, and I can only be physically and emotionally available for so many hours a day. I'm starting to worry that she is becoming dependent on my presence to feel okay, and I don't know how to support her without making her feel abandoned when I have to go to work or do my own things.
I’ve suggested things like working out, picking up a hobby, going to a cafe to work/read, getting out of the house, or even just changing her environment for a few hours. But she says she feels too tired and has no motivation.
She has also turned down some relatively easy side work because she says she just wants to chill. I completely understand that she may genuinely need rest, and I don’t want to push her back into a work mindset if she’s actually burned out. At the same time, I’m starting to wonder whether doing absolutely nothing all day is actually making things worse.
She has told me that she thinks she might be depressed, and thankfully she is open to talking to a therapist. She says she isn’t spiraling or constantly overthinking and doesn’t have any particular thoughts going through her head. She mostly just feels… empty, tired, and unmotivated.
I’ve been close to someone who was depressed before, and some of this feels very familiar. That’s making me worried.
I love her and I want to support her, but I’m struggling with where the line is between giving her the rest she needs and gently encouraging her to start doing things again.
I also find myself thinking, “She has so much potential, I want her to get back to being herself,” but I realize that might not be the most helpful mindset if she’s actually struggling with depression or burnout.
For anyone who has experienced depression, burnout, or supported a partner through it:
What actually helped?
Should I mostly leave her alone and let her recover on her own? Should I encourage therapy and professional help more strongly? Is gently getting her out of the house and into a routine helpful, or does that just feel like pressure when someone is depressed?
And how do you balance being there for your partner with maintaining your own life and responsibilities? I want to be there for her, but I also know I can only do so much, and I don't want our entire emotional support system to become dependent on me being physically present.
I really want to support her without accidentally making her feel like she’s failing because she isn't productive right now.

I really feel like I want to do this and that.but somehow I feel like I'm not showing much responsibility,It's not because I don't have interest in my job, actually I like my job.....but something is holding from my back.will it be because of my team?or my laziness? I don't know.....I used to sit day and night to complete things previously,but now I'm behaving like this.

Need some support guys...I want to understand the root cause behind it.is anyone feeling the same?

i’ve been working jobs since i was 17 years old i am now 24. i’ve done everything from retail to admin work to customer service and now im stuck in a corporate catering job. this is the most miserable i’ve ever been, i’m up at 4am mon-fri and most days i don’t get home until 6pm. i’m tired of this job draining everything i have especially since i really want to be an author. i can’t find the time to pursue my passions when im always so tired. how do i find a new day job with less stress when no jobs will get back to me? this is more of a vent post than anything i guess but hopefully some of you are in the same position as me

My partner recently went through a lot of life stressors in a single month. We've been dating since last year and I love her to bits. Since burnout hit she's pulled away quite a bit as we still live separately. Since she's been in survival mode she's focussing on her kids, longer work hours, moving house, helping out with a sports club and is always exhausted. Her day is basically, wake up early, go to work, come home, sort out dinner for the kids and then go to bed early.

I go over to help with cooking once a week (that's all she's comfortable with at the moment it seems). She initiates calls on her way home from work and we text. Sometimes my calls aren't answered as she's busy helping the kids.

I thought she wanted to break up so I asked her about the relationship when I was over there last time to get some clarity and she said "we're fine", she still wants to get married in the future but she didn't have any time for herself to rest/recover, she's just shattered from exhaustion and she needs to focus on the kids a bit more. I'm now worried I put too much emotional weight on the talk.

I'm just lost as it hurts seeing someone I love go through this. She's like a completely different person at the moment. It's especially tough living separately as in person contact is nearly non-existent and I'm afraid if I send to too many texts or calls it could be overloading her.

Hi Reddit,

I’m at a point where I’m seriously thinking about quitting my job because of burnout.

I’ve tried taking time off, but it doesn’t help. I wake up every day dreading work. The actual work doesn’t interest me anymore, and the commute/travel is draining me completely.

The company offers zero flexibility, and the only “perk” is that some Saturdays are off. That’s not enough to make this sustainable.

The problem: I have no clear plan for what comes after quitting. I just know I desperately need time and space to reset.

Has anyone been here? Did you quit without a plan and it worked out? How did you handle the gap, finances, and the guilt? Any advice on how to make this decision without completely self-sabotaging would help a lot.

Thank you.

Hello everyone, oh boy. I'm 27M years old, and for the past few years I've been feeling really really burnt out.

Here is my background. I now have about 8 years in programming (yes I started at the beginning of college, probably another reason why this happened), and a few years after starting my career I realized I liked programming and creating a bit, but that I won't be able to do it until I'm older because I dreaded working in front of a computer all day, and nobody would even see the code I write, except for 1 or 2 of my colleagues, which, in the end made it all seem meaningless. 3 years ago I applied for a gamedev job, what I thought at the time was my "dream job", I moved cities, and after working a few months as a gameplay programmer at a evil AAA corporation, I realized this was still the same draining work, because in my team there were like 20 programmers and we only did bug fixes, and we couldnt help with the design of the game. So I realized that I needed to get out (that and the fact I've received 0% raise for 2 years in a row), and I thought I needed to get out of that team, and I didn't realize I was actually feeling burnt out by programming. The problem is that I got a different job about a year ago, as an LLM Engineer (I know, I'm sorry, at the time I was really interested in LLMs and how they work, they are interesting as a technology, I'm so ashamed about the disaster they bring). Little did I know that actually using AI is burning you out faster than writing your actual code by hand. I've tried in my spare time to focus my attention on gamedev, something I really like, and I really really wish to become a great creator like Toby Fox, the guys from Outer Wilds, and so many, so many amazing creators that I look up to, and I realize I want to grow and learn and be that. But in the past few months, trying my best to land a gamedev role that is not programming (like game design, narrative design), and doing courses, mentorships on learning these, on top of my 2 years of gameplay programming experience, all of this led to nothing. Only 1 interview after months of applying, tailoring resumes, fighting ATS, and daily searching for jobs. I now feel more burnt out than ever.

Doing everything after work is so tiring, I work on the day job, and when I get home I apply for jobs and try to work on my game. But when I try to relax, I can't, how can I relax when I feel like I'm going to be stuck here, I feel like I'm going to die if I quit trying to be creative, I literally have so much fear about what am I going to do with my life. I have released some games on itch io, but I haven't been able to build games I'm proud of, or something I can show people that here, this is my worth. Also idk what to do about overworking myself, I rarely can relax because I'm always searching for a new job or recognition from people.

I've thought about, how can I become a great creator, how can I learn. I've got 1 masters in CS and 1 bachelors in psychology, and currently finished a creative writing course that I enjoyed, I joined a Narrative Design course, I know I can learn a lot of things, but at the same time, I can't dedicate myself completely to learning because I still need a job that pays. I don't even know if I'm a manchild that is obsessed with making and playing video games, I do have a girlfriend that I'm living with right now, and it doesn't seem like I'm that obsessed, but sometimes I wonder if I should give up on being creative (because it's so much pain and difficult), and just do my job like most people and go trough life without striving to create something great.

I need help in answering this question. Should I drop this job that doesn't satisfy me so I have more time and learn to be a game designer and try to find work, or should I keep my job and re-consider my life? I was even considering getting a loan for a big sum of money, that I can use to live off of for a few months until I get a new job.

TL;DR After failing at creating anything worth, due to time or lack of money, I need advice if I should quit my job to pursue education as a game/narrative designer, or should I wake up and face the reality that I would be destroying my life and I should keep my job and work on the side. Also idk what to do about overworking myself, I rarely can relax because I'm always searching for a new job or recognition from people.

Does anyone appear to be doing fine on the outside but struggling on the inside? This is how some of my friends see me and that I'm just taking a break as I have resigned from work with no job. I find it hard to explain the gravity of the situation because it has all hit at once. It isn't work that was the only stressor but also a breakup where my ex and I have still been speaking on and off. Now we are in no contact but every time we speak it is like a second break up. How have you gone about explaining that you're very burntout and one or two months break may not do it? I am going through more than burnout and am seeing a psych but I don't want to inform people of absolutely everything, burnout is enough. Keen to hear what you've said and how you've dealt with it.

I currently have 6 hours of free time, one and a half hour has been wasted while writing this, and I don’t feel like doing anything I wanted to do during this free time. I have to attend 2 weddings, one is tomorrow, and the other in a week outside the country, and just thinking about them is sucking all the fun out of the activities I want to do that I don’t feel like doing them anymore. Anyone else have something similar? Or am I just mopey?

Hi guys I’m based in vic, I’m an educator and have been for about 4 years now. I don’t know why but I’ve been struggling going to work, I’ve been so sick and now my boss is flat out refusing to support me with my diploma. I’m not allowed to do it due to my absence which has just made me not want to do childcare at all.

How do you guys motivate yourself to go? Like I’m genuinely trying and use to have the best work ethic. I have an amazing partner, who is very supportive and the kids I love them at work. The staff not so much but I’m not there for them. I just feel like it’s an endless cycle and I don’t want to feel like this forever

Every once in a while, I try to romanticize this era of my life, and I know that I’ll look back on it later and find the beauty and having so many choices and options and paths ahead of me but right now everything just feels fucking confusing and a lot of responsibility!

I’m tired! I’m tired of working a real job. I’m tired of needing savings. I’m tired of not knowing if I should go to school when I should go to school or where. I’m tired of being in therapy working on myself and healing. I’m tired of knowing all the different things I need to do. I need to work out. I need to go to therapy. I need to heal. I need to budget. I need to save. I need to call my mom. I need to check in with old friends. I need to decide. Decide decide decide! And then everything has a consequence. Nothing is ever really the right decision but sometimes there are just clear wrong decisions. I’m trying to find the beauty in this era of building but right now I feel tired.

Not looking for “just quit” advice. I’m curious about the practical boundary that has actually helped people keep Sunday from becoming an unpaid preview of Monday.

Do you set a cutoff for checking messages? Write down the one thing Monday-you needs to remember? Plan the first 20 minutes and refuse to mentally rehearse the rest?

What has genuinely reduced the dread—not fixed the job, just stopped it from stealing the whole weekend?

I have been burned out since start of last summer at least, I did not take the early signs seriously, ignored them and kept pushing myself. I was sleeping very bad, like 2-3 hours on average while working a very physically demanding job during the summer, which made things significantly worse.

At the end of August last year I left the job and started sleeping better, I noticed that my anxiety had gotten significantly worse, I could not handle any task that required me to concentrate for like 10 minutes, I could not retain information at all, I would get extremely frustrated. Cleaning and cooking also was hard for me, I would regularly order from outside during this period or get frozen food. I would also get exhausted from minimal physical exertion, like even going for a 30 minute walk was too much, I would feel anxiety that would sustain for days some times. I also had social anxiety, with burnout this got even worse.

From September, Uni started for me, despite trying very hard, attending lectures and taking notes felt very hard for me, I basically missed 80% of my lectures, only attended the most important classes. At first I thought maybe it was a nutrient deficiency or something, I thought this 'condition' would improve in weeks maybe. I talked with my GP and got the confirmation that I wasnt experiencing any nutritional deficiency. I recognised that I had burnout and tried my best to prioritise my sleep and diet, as well as getting some physical activity done. I would basically only work when close to an assignment deadline. Studying for my 1st semester exams was the worst period of my whole life, 2 weeks before the start, my mind would be constantly thinking that I am going to fail, my sleep was again very bad during this period because of it. Somehow, I still managed to pass my exams, but did not do great.

During this period of 4 months, it was hell, for a very long time I felt as though I was not making a lot of progress, and felt as though it was getting worse. But there were rare cases where I could work for maybe an hour. And towards start of Christmas holidays, I could handle going for a walk for an hour. When 2nd semester started I was able to do cardio for 30 mins, I tried to do 3 sessions per week and did manage to maintain this habit for maybe 2 months, I was still feeling very anxious but I was trying to push through.

My social anxiety also improved slightly. Despite all this I was still struggling very hard and decided to start therapy in mid February. Therapy helped me immensely, I was able to address the root causes behind my burnout and was able to alleviate my social anxiety. Socialising felt easiest in ages, the physical symptoms of anxiety were no longer so severe that I could not focus on what was happening around me. I also noticed improvements in my ability to work, this time it was not rare occasions but I could work for 1-2 hours consistently for days. I first noticed that I was engaging with my old hobbies again (reading, watching films, gaming)- at the start of burnout, I had developed a strong aversion to these activities, I felt as though even gaming or watching films or shows required to much attention for me. But despite all these improvements, I was still very behind with my Uni work, and during the 2nd semester I was still having some weeks where I would just lay on the bed all day.

My preparation for 2nd semester exams was even worse, thinking about the exams was making me way too stressed, but instead of motivating me to work harder I wasted a lot of time thinking that I was certainly going to fail. 1 week before exams, I did study quite hard, and managed to pass. In one of my exams I was just 1% above pass grade.

Now, this summer, I have been finally able to get back into a proper gym routine, going to the gym 5-6 times a week, for almost 3 months now. This summer has been quite productive for me, I have been reading a lot, socialising, doing research for my final Uni year and being productive in many other ways. I have also been able to spend a lot of time with my hobbies., it feels more natural, I am no longer forcing myself to do it, to test if I can still do it, I can immersed into them for hours. But still I have not returned to my baseline in term of capabilities, as every now and then, I still end up pushing myself too hard and feel to exhausted to be able to do anything for a few days. I have one more month until Uni starts, I am slightly afraid that the progress I have seen since start of summer is because I have been working without any anxiety of deadlines or grades, I am afraid that once Uni starts I will crumble from the stress.

I will need to work quite hard to bring my average up to be a decent grade in final year, currently im averaging mid 2:2 (C), I would want to get to 2:1 (B), my prospects of getting a decent job would significantly improve then. I used to be very motivated and hard working, last year I was averaging a 1st. But I got a bit overconfident and thought not taking care of my diet, sleep and mental health would not have an impact on my productivity. It sucks because I experienced it the worst possible moment, this year I was supposed to be looking for internships, I did not apply to nearly as many as I should have but it physically felt impossible for me, I could only afford to think about surviving through this uni year. But despite all, I am able to see some positives from this experience, like I have developed a more positive mindset with my work, I no longer compare myself with others as much, I no longer focus on work alone, I am able to enjoy time with friends and family, I have been able to work to bring down my social anxiety significantly

Hey! Really burned out at my social work job. I have the option to work with my company using ADA guidelines. So far, I want to ask about clear written instructions of my job tasks, having consistent time weekly to work virtually, and have FMLA prior to a year of working there (for worsening mental health/physical issues). Thoughts?

Also anyone have any tips for burn out especially in human services work?

I work as a teacher and I find myself forcing to get to work everyday. When I leave for home I am exhausted, consumed by thought and anxious. Is this the reality for many out there ? Are there people who actually enjoy going to work everyday?

wake up and instantly check phone

music while showering

youtube while eating

scrolling while watching netflix

switching between 5 apps every few minutes

podcasts while driving

then scrolling until sleep

and somehow this became normal life

i noticed recently that the only moments my brain actually feels calm now are when im outside without my phone or just sitting somewhere without constant input hitting me every second

the weird part is silence almost feels uncomfortable at first

like your brain expects stimulation constantly now

idk

i honestly think a lot of people arent even physically tired anymore

theyre mentally overstimulated 24/7 and forgot what a calm brain feels like

Reddit has become full of people looking for comfort instead of real help. This is not one of these posts!
So, has anyone who went through serious burnout managed to get their memory back to the pre-burnout level — or even improve it?

After 2½ years of hard work (meditation, training, prayer, reading, studying), I’ve managed to bring almost everything back to normal. In some areas I’ve even improved (like concentration).

But memory is still really hard. I’m now entering the 4th month of repeating every morning everything I did the day before. I can feel some progress, but it’s nowhere near enough.

Does anyone know honest techniques they’ve actually implemented and that genuinely improved their memory capacity?