u/MRYZYR

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Im 22 male by the way, undiagnosed but I do have so much in common with people with ADHD, I know some of you may say that this is depression or something, but I had this kind off problems since childhood and genuinely felt different from other kids.

I’ve been stuck in this cycle for almost 10 years now,

I’ll suddenly get a huge burst of motivation and convince myself I’m finally changing. I wake up early, work out, do chores, learn new things, plan my future, and genuinely feel hopeful for once. That phase usually lasts anywhere from 2 weeks to maybe a month.

But the second something goes wrong I miss a routine, have a cheat day, fail at something small, or lose momentum , everything completely spirals. I stop caring, doom scroll for hours, binge games or shows (sometimes an entire season in one day), and basically shut down for weeks or months.

Then comes this deep sadness where I feel emotionally exhausted and disgusted with myself that make me feel “I can’t live like this anymore”, and the cycle repeats again.

The last few months is different, that motivation doesn’t even feel real to me anymore. Every time I feel it, a part of me already knows it’s temporary and I’ll end up back here again, sometimes I get burst of motivation but it's not enough to push me through the cycle again, I feel like something broke me.

It’s been around 2–3 months since my last productive phase, usually it's like clock work 2weeks of motivation 1-2months of burn out and sudden motivation spikes,and this time I genuinely feel tired inside. Not lazy. Just emotionally worn out.I want to do things to enjoy things but its not here anymore, just going day by day, nothing.

Does anyone else relate to this? How do you stop treating your whole life like an cycle, and how do I restart when all it needs is just one thing off to all come crashing down. Help me...