u/mundanehistorian_28

Hi. 29F I have diagnosed GAD, panic attacks, BDD, and depression. I have a therapist and am on medications. However, due to my job (teaching but this year I'm a sub) I am so burnt out.

Every day when I see the school I want to scream and cry. I have to fight back tears and having full blow panic attacks and a nervous breakdown all day. But at the same time I feel numb and detached. It is a very concerning feeling. I have talked with my therapist and we are working on new coping strategies but it won't solve the long-term burnout I feel.

I get paid per diem so I can't take time off without losing money. Which is something I really need in this economy, I live paycheck to paycheck like most people do. My supervisor is a horrible witch and gives me the worst assignments (because she doesn't like me and she's told me that), most of the students are gremlins (I teach HS), and the other teachers aren't great most of the time.

I have a few friends that work here and they are supportive, so is my husband. However, the dark thoughts I've been having are sending me to a mental breakdown. I don't use that term lightly. I don't know what to do to survive. I workout, eat well, get okay-ish sleep, have hobbies, and do everything my therapist suggests but I fear I'm too far gone.

I know school is ending soon (late June) but then I teach summer school because we don't get paid over the summer.

I apologize for the rambling. But I am so lost, I am drowning and I don't even know where the surface is anymore.

29F. I'm a teacher and this year I'm a building sub because of the flexibility. But if I don't work I don't get paid and financially I can't take many days off.

I am so burnt out. I want to cry and scream when I see the school. I have a short fuse, I want to cry all of the time, these kids are so horrific at the end of the year. I teach high school and they are as bad as first graders.

Most days my anxiety is so high. I have GAD and panic attacks but this is beyond that normal baseline anxiety.

At the same time I'm also so detached and numb. It is a very confusing mix. I feel lightheaded some days too. I just wanna fucking quit but I can't.

These two 9th grade girls were throwing around homophobic slurs, insulting me, and being disrespectful so I threw them out with only 10-15 min left of class. I normally wouldn't care if they just insulted me but when the slurs came out and they were targeting other students that's when I stepped in.

It turned into a screaming match with them and security trying to get them out of there. Eventually they left. I wrote a long note to the teacher who I know let's this stuff slide and I emailed the principal to write them up. Technically I can do it but because I'm a building sub I normally don't and admin takes care of it.

I always get so anxious I will be the one in trouble. I have severe GAD at times so I can spiral. I just hope they get a consequence because that is completely unacceptable. Thank you for reading my second rant this week.

Hi, building sub for a large urban HS. We on a very rare day have more subs than are needed so we help out with classes that do have a co-teacher. So for example, I had to help out this morning in an English class that had one teacher there. I walked in (and she knows me from student teaching) and said "Hello Ms. Jane Doe, I am here to help out the next few periods because your co-teacher is out. Please let me know how I can help."

Students are already coming in and they say to me "but I want the extra money, can you just get out?" and I'm like "well if there are subs available we have to be here, I'm sorry but that will need to be discussed with the office."

Then she was fuming at me, and I called my supervisor and she refused to talk to her and told me to tell her "too bad get over it, the district is bleeding money for paying you all for extra coverage". I relayed that information to her in private and if looks could kill, I woud be dead.

I awkwardly sat there as she refused to let me help. A lot of the kids know me so they were confused why she kept glaring at me. I told my boss about the encounter and said "get over it, they are all bitchy like that".

I'm a certified social studies teacher, I have been in education for four years. She knows this. So I guess I'm just tired of being insulted in front of students by these co-teachers. Like I have to be here, I'm sorry but I'm also not. I want to be helpful so I am happy to assist even like a TA. But no, just unprofessionalism. Every time this happens I brace for the worst.