I’ve had constant 24/7 dissociation since I was 18 and I’m about to be 21 and I’ve yet to get my liscense because A, im scared of driving and B my dissociation is so horrible. Like it’s constant and hasn’t even shown a glimpse of a break since I first got it. Should I wait till it’s gone to drive? I know I need to get my license but I don’t think it’s safe genuinely. And there’s no telling when my dissociation will depart.
As title says, is there any mental illness symptom that would hinder people having said mental illness to experience life as multidimensionally as it's "supposed to be"? Think 2d 3d dimensions
I recently started trauma therapy (DBT) and when talking about the stages of the therapy work we will be doing, my therapist said that dissociation which I unfortunately have is a choice. When I pointed out that it doesn’t feel that way for me she insisted it was and that research showed it too.
In a session, I dissociated. We talked about it the next session and I said I was overwhelmed with the topics that were addressed and she said that dissociation seems to be my comfort zone and therapy work is not possible if I dissociate in session. I just wanted to ask people who’ve done trauma therapy if she is right and eventually I will be able to control/choose not to dissociate or if she is wrong? Thanks!
I have been working with my therapist for 8 months and have developed strong maternal transference due to severe childhood emotional neglect from my mom. Overall, she is incredibly warm, deeply empathetic, and well-meaning, and she has helped me a lot. However, a major shift happened a few sessions ago when I finally gathered the courage to open up to her about how much I think about her, how badly I want to write to her outside of session, how much I long to hug her and how much shame i feel around this.
This disclosure made her very teary-eyed. I expressed my deep sadness that she can never truly be my mom and that this relationship will eventually have to end. She told me our relationship doesn't have to end, that it will still exist and we can always communicate if i want to. She said she wanted me to experience things "in the playground." Right after this conversation, our professional boundaries became very loose and porous. She started telling me to text her anytime when i feel these longing aches or difficult emotions, meeting outside for walks and hugging me. She frequently gets teary-eyed during my stories, which initially felt deeply validating. But while those hugs and meetings feel very good in the moment, I feel a constant sense of impending doom. I feel like this real-world care is only a temporary painkiller, and when it inevitably ends, the rupture is going to hurt so much more. I go through these strong waves of emotional shifts that first feel like i’m high from love and care and then it shifts to grief and deep pain.
Despite this deep longing, I have never actually cried around her. Even after 8 months, my body's involuntary response to vulnerability in the room is always to shake, laugh, or completely dissociate. I just cannot let my guard down enough to weep in front of her. Instead, I go through these deep, aching longings in my chest and intense, solitary crying sessions at home where it feels like the tears will never stop.
Last week, I entered the session feeling great and full of energy. During the hour, I brought up how triggered and sad I was by a recent event involving discrimination and systemic hate. My therapist got visibly irritated, used an authoritative tone, and ordered me to "calm down." This comment made me freeze, especially because she had made a similar biased comment during one of our recent walks outside.
Right after that, when I mentioned that I wish I had been more of a "fighter" in life to let things out, to be more angry like she told me she was, she completely lost her professional role and dropped a massive personal trauma. She quickly, flatly shared a graphic and violent story from her childhood involving severe abuse and a weapon. (basically saying that i shouldn’t wish that, because that took her being exposed to a lot of physical violence)
I instantly went numb, my mind blanked, and I completely dissociated for the remaining 30 minutes of the session, unable to form new thoughts. It was very distressing because i couldn’t just snap my fingers and get out of it. When I spoke up and told her I "just went somewhere," she looked concerned, asked if the story was "too hard to follow," and told me, "Well now, don't run away, let's stay here." Everything after that is a blur.
Since then, she has checked in over text, but her tone flipped to being cold and mechanical, asking for physical tracking checklists ("pulse? breathing? tension?"). When I replied that my heart was aching hard like someone stepped on it and my stomach was flaring up from stress, she suggested I go to a doctor for a battery of physical tests to rule out medical issues (even though I told her I have a clear medical history and doctors cleared me recently). Her final response to my vulnerable text about my physical pain was just reacting to it with a single shocked emoji. I felt angry that i even wrote her like she asked, because it left me feeling worse.
I am cycling rapidly between deep longing, intense guilt (feeling like I couldn’t hear her out, unable to empathise without collapsing), and sharp anger/hatred at her sudden coldness and avoidance. I am devastated because I realized I truly believed the fantasy that she would be a permanent maternal figure in my life. Now, I feel like I am the one who has to control things.
I don't want to terminate therapy because I care about her deeply and she has been a source of genuine warmth, but I am deeply confused. Is this normal? How do I navigate this?
Hi everyone,
First, let me introduce myself. I’m a 22-year-old woman who lived with severe chronic dissociation for more than 5 years. It got so severe that I went to the hospital twice, and at one point I was practically paralyzed and unable to move for hours because of how intense the dissociation was.
Now, for the past 3 weeks, I’ve been completely coming out of this horrible cycle of dissociation. Yes, I genuinely feel like I’m healing from it, and I want to explain simply what helped me.
First: after reading this, please stop constantly reading about dissociation.
I know exactly what I’m talking about. After 5 years of constantly checking my symptoms, searching for answers, reading about DPDR, comparing my experiences to other people’s experiences, etc., I only made everything worse.
When I finally stopped researching and checking my symptoms all the time, it honestly changed everything for me.
Second: read The Power of Now.
If you don’t want to read the whole book, I’ll try to summarize the main idea that impacted me so much, because reading it was a major turning point for me.
The book isn’t specifically about dissociation. It’s more about the mind and the present moment.
The author explains how we can become trapped in our minds — constantly thinking, analyzing, worrying, replaying things, imagining things, and creating intrusive thoughts and anxiety.
But here’s the important part:
You are not your mind.
You are not every thought that appears in your head.
And for me, this completely changed the way I looked at dissociation.
I realized that I was constantly trapped inside my thoughts, constantly checking how I felt, constantly asking myself “Do I feel real? Am I dissociating? Is this DPDR? Is this normal?”
And the more I focused on it, the more real and intense it felt.
So try something very simple:
Come back to the present moment.
When you notice your thoughts going everywhere, don’t fight them. Simply come back to the fact that you exist and that you are here, right now.
Breathe.
Walk.
Go outside.
Drink some water and actually feel the water
going down your throat.
Feel your feet touching the ground.
Listen to the sounds around you.
Look at the sky.
Laugh.
Talk to someone.
Do something.
Just be here.
This made me realize how trapped I had been inside my own mind for years.
And most importantly, I stopped treating every strange sensation as something I needed to analyze or be afraid of.
Third: meditate.
Yes, meditate.
Even something as simple as a body scan meditation can help you reconnect with your body and the present moment.
You don’t have to do anything complicated. Just sit down, breathe, and observe what is happening without constantly analyzing it.
Lastly: stop constantly checking your symptoms and doing grounding techniques out of fear.
For me, constantly counting my fingers, checking whether things looked real, testing myself, and repeatedly doing grounding exercises actually kept my attention locked onto the feeling of unreality.
I’m not saying grounding techniques are bad or that they can’t help anyone. I’m saying that for me, constantly using them as a way to check whether I was “real” or “okay” kept the cycle going.
Instead, try to live.
Be yourself.
Build a healthy routine.
Give yourself one small goal each week.
Go for walks.
Meditate.
Create things.
Talk to people.
Go outside and get some fresh air.
And most importantly, stop making dissociation the center of your life.
You are still you.
You are still here.
You are still living.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. 🤍
Now close Reddit, stop checking your symptoms for a while, and go breathe some fresh air outside. 😌
Le monde n'est pas réel, ma mère n'existe pas ni même le peut d amies que j ai . Et encore moins moi. J ai l impression de ne pas appartenir à mon corps, je suis obligée de me faire du mal pour reprendre en quelques sortes mon existences. Mais je veux d autres solutions.Car je sais que c est mal , mais mon dieu comme j ai l impression de planer quand sa arrive , je suis tellement loin de tout , tout en étant realistiquement proche . Je pense que c est pour me protéger, des autres, des choses extérieurs que je dissocie , mais on m a dit que c etait mal. Et logiquement c est vrai. Quand on a la sensation que rien n est réel, on peut tuer, se tuer, faire du mal ou bien ne rien faire.....toute façon pas de conséquences sur quelques chose qui n'existe même pas.