u/Civil-Advance-2841

My mom saud in the past conversation some days you are happy and nice and other days you are I don’t know. Okay mom let me fill what has happened 6 or 7 month month of camera in room

My emotional memory has been blank from a near miss event that nearly took my coworker life that got push to say I need to turn off my emotions because 20 hours of fear is incovient , I am expected to take your rudeness, and when I try to back away from conversation you guilt trip me , told me my fear of thst near miss was not real told me that theapist didn’t break my trust and minimize to a disagreement, thrn when I open up to you you tell me you got procces it in thearpy

what are saying I should learn in theapy how to endure that I need to be treated like this ? Mom the same theapis said I need to learn cause and affect what do you do you hold over my head to take 20 dollars over my head . Am I supposed to magically know what you said because you say do I need to take money from you and saying I will be rich from thar.

told me that cleaning when that day I was did it late lacking tbe tume to put away before you look at your phone and said it pig style. Told me in so many special event thst in thise clothes it not good enough in the one you chooice .

Said I was paranoid because I saud I didn’t want the camera. I have been building a time thing for myself to help myself but I have been hiding jt from because I don’t trust you analizy it abd tell me just that it dumb. And my excutuve function been a pain in tge butt and 3 or so dissocation wreck my emotions connection to anyone so yeah it been a lot but what I need from is that you can separate the behavior from character attack.

But no mom I can’t say all that because you want an exact event that you can’t loop hole your way out .

Dignity shock the Definition.It is told the other person has the right to judge you, and you can’t say stop without being told you are this .It is being treated less than and being told to stay small, or otherwise you are ungrateful or asking for too much admiration.

Do you guys feel the effect of it that because you are too much when you do something that helps you personally, it tells you why can’t you do it the ‘normal ‘way?

Abd feel your way of being successful has to be this big action that you achieve, but you know in the end of life small success in the end is going to be all you can do and what you ‘achievement ‘burnout is not your whole definition of you . Being told being burntout means I love more than you becoming one percent better everyday tjat respect for you is conditional .

. Basic respect is to me being able to this I want to leave this conversation and not be told you don’t want uncomfortable conversations. No, I don’t want to engage in conversation where, if I stay, I have to agree with what you think of me. I don’t want my mistake means not knowing if I should brace your contempt and being attacked on my character to be allowed and told that it's your fault.

I think that a word to use or just know the word for it. When I ask my family to not be treated like an emotional punching bag .

I was told I should accept being told I was pig and that my mistake is permission to be make feel less than and saying my mistake means I admitting fault. Fair, but being told that admitting fault means they have the right to question your thinking in a way that addresses the issue . And being told that it is always your thinking pattern.

Sometimes thinking problems is not the issue is the lack of system in place that I forgot to implement to remember.

Am I wrong on this . Please tell me.

How it works for me is that I look at the time and i sign to the hours first then sign the nearest 15 minute or the minute it is and then i sign the next hour i need to leave .and it helps me understand what time it is. why it hleps me is understand it my using motion to rember the time that helps me understand it better.

what do you think . i know it might not help some people but this help me. i hope this helps you.

She asked me point-blank why cant I be grateful that nothing happened ( the event nearly took people lives). What happened is that, at the workplace, I saw things that were an immediate danger to life in that room. For 20 hours of silence thinking they were dead. What happened is that I said to the therapist the items, and she shrugged and said okay

. Like it was normal due to lack of documentation of injury. She never, in one of the sessions, acknowledged what a person would say like i am sorry that happened to you. She told me in one session straight why cant i be grateful.
She was indirectly like Why can't I look at my boss's perspective that would be good for me? That lack of empathy turns me off. Her saying," I respect your feelings, but I don't respect your mindset, so let change it was a damaging part of it. She keeps making me feel broken to have a basic thing called nervous system response and wanting someone to be there. What changes is that I said to her my reaction was correct for the event.

The response to the event is that the event is dangerous.what was in the room i know this fight or flight would have got me killed in that damn room that day and everyone nearby (to this day i check that room). I need to play it safe and move smartly. I wish she knew fear of it doesn't turn off because there was no injury. It is not my responsibility to try to change a person's mindset who never felt what i felt in that room. How would you feel if were me dealing with this?