r/ADHDthriving

hey guys i've been recently struggling with ADHD flow state and I've been constantly forgetting things due to this. I feel drained after I exhaust myself from hyperfocus are there someways which temporarily relieves you during hyperfocus? I know ADHD isn't curable but it is getting upto me lately.

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For me, I'm thinking specifically in terms of alcohol and sugar.

I've never been able to regulate either one and I went from having a couple of drinks a week to at least a couple of drinks at night and I don't think that's healthy long-term. My dad died at 54 from alcoholism 💔

And with sugar I'm always trying to eat sweets, moderately and just one a day or just dessert sometimes...... It always results in me just living off of sugar. A couple of different times, I completely cut out sweets and did fine. Is that pretty typical of ADHD in general? I'm trying to think about the best way to approach alcohol.

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Big to do lists overwhelmed me, and the alternatives were costly (e.g. Omnifocus, etc.) so I created my own commitment tracking system to help me gain calm momentum and capture thoughts and actions quickly and efficiently.

It's still a work in progress, but I promise it'll only get better from here, would love any an all feedback, the good, bad, and ugly!

Purgd — Purge your brain. Keep what matters.

**Every habit app I've tried has made me feel worse about myself. Anyone else?**

I've downloaded probably 15 habit apps over the years. Habitica, Streaks, Finch, Done, you name it.

They all work great for about 4 days. Then I miss one day and the streak breaks and I just... never open it again. I don't know if it's the shame of seeing that zero, or the dopamine crash of losing the streak, but something about it makes me want to avoid the app entirely.

The worst part is it's not even big habits I'm failing. It's stuff like "drink a glass of water" or "take my meds." And I still can't make it stick.

Curious if others feel this way:

1. Which habit app hurt your feelings the most when you "failed" it? (mine was Streaks, that red X was brutal)
2. Is there anything that HAS actually worked for you, even a little?
3. What's the one thing you wish a habit app understood about how your brain works?

Just want to know if this is a me thing or an everyone thing.

This isn’t really a self-promo post, and I'm intentionally not including a link.

I just want to share my struggle with ADHD, my process, and how finding the right treatment finally let me finish a book.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in 1988, back when the only real option was Ritalin. I hated it, stopped taking it, and spent the next 30+ years unmedicated. I built rigorous coping systems using calendar reminders and strict routines. Eventually, I moved to LA to write screenplays and comics; formats where you're trained to stay brief and punchy.

Prose always eluded me. I’m a voracious reader and constantly had ideas, but every attempt at a novel died by chapter two. It felt like too many moving parts, too many words, and my brain simply lost focus.

Everything changed when I met my wife. She has severe ADHD, but it was managed with medication. Watching her graduate from UC Berkeley, excel in law school, and build a successful legal career made me re-evaluate my stance on treatment.

Standard stimulants are off the table for me because they just cause anxiety and a racing heart. Thankfully, a brilliant psychiatrist started me on a combo of Intuniv and Wellbutrin a year ago. It completely cleared the fog. My mood stabilized, and my ability to maintain long-term career focus skyrocketed.

Around the same time, I fell in love with web serials like Dungeon Crawler Carl. Feeling burnt out by the traditional film/TV grind, the direct-to-consumer nature of digital publishing hooked me. But online site expectations for a full "book" average around 100k+ words. The sheer scale almost made me tap out before starting.

Instead of quitting, the new medication combo actually let me sit down and do the work. I wrote, revised, and pushed through a chaotic number of drafts. Last week, I looked up and realized I was staring at a completed 105,000-word manuscript.

It's been live for a few weeks now, and the traction is solid.

For over three decades, I genuinely believed my brain wasn't wired to handle the macro-organization a novel requires. If you're currently hitting a brick wall with your executive dysfunction, don't give up on finding a system and/or a chemical balance that works for you.

It took me 45 years to get there, but I think I have finally learned to control my ADHD instead of letting it control me.

I am a disgusting human being. Because I just can't get myself to shower. Sometimes I struggle to brush and even struggle with period hygiene. I feel like it's because of my executive dysfunction because I'm always thinking about doing it but never actually doing it. And I found a solution.

Music fixed my hygiene more than any stimulant ever has.

I used to shower once every 2–3 days because I just couldn't get myself to start. I'd rarely brush my teeth. During my periods, I struggled to change my pad or tampon every 6 hours, not because I didn't know I should, but because I couldn't make myself get up and do it.

People without ADHD often assume hygiene problems come from laziness or not caring. For me, it was executive dysfunction. I cared so much that I'd beat myself up over it constantly, but guilt never made task initiation any easier.

Everything changed when I read Why Can't I Just Shower? by Dan Boynton. For the first time, I stopped seeing myself as lazy or gross. My brain wasn't refusing hygiene because I didn't care, it was struggling to start.

One trick from the book completely changed my life: pairing hygiene with something that gives my brain instant dopamine.

For me, that's loud Bollywood party songs.

Now I blast my "getting ready" playlist before I shower. I brush my teeth while listening to music and walking around the house. During my period, if I can't get myself to change my pad or tampon, I play the same music in the bathroom. Somehow that tiny change gets me moving.

I even use music to clean my room.

I've tried podcasts, calm music, and other genres, but nothing flips that "let's go" switch like upbeat Bollywood songs.

I'm not perfect. I still have days where I forget to brush or skip a shower. But compared to where I was before, the difference is huge.

Ironically, music has done more for my executive dysfunction around hygiene than any stimulant ever has.

I don't know how to stop this. I have diagnosed adhd. I am taking only quetiapine to shut up my mind before sleep. I am not taking any meds for adhd because I don't want to remove my adhd superpowers like hyper focus.

Anyway, I got sent to this other country last May to train the people there. I met this guy at work. I met him on my last week of stay there and he was really nice to me. Took me out to dinner so I could try out their country's food. We had dinner with other members sometimes or sometimes just us. It was good. We became friends and I felt a connection. He was really respectful and didn't do anything inappropriate. But on my last day, we were both very emotional. He said he would miss me a lot. I gave him a goodbye hug. At the airport, we continued talking online and I was very sad. I was crying. I enjoyed being in that country by myself. It's my first time in my life having my own room (company gave me my own hotel room), travelled alone, and being independent. I missed it immensely and I was talking to him and I asked him if he liked me because he kept saying he misses me. He confessed that he like me. What happened after that, snowballed.

We continued talking even when I was back in my country. I made poems for him. The poems were about the possibility of us being together if we had only been both single. He's married and I'm in an 8 yr relationship with my bf. He's not living together with his wife. He lives in the city. Their hometown is 12 hrs away and it's been 6 months since he last went home to her.

We would message each other. I would call him when we're both free. He has immense physically attraction towards me. He wants to have sex with me. Me? Not that much but I am enjoying his desire. I love being desired so much. I feel so beautiful. I am happy with how much he's attracted to me. I like seeing him smile and flustered and thinking of doing things to me.

He desires me sexually and I like it. I also like how I am writing again. But I can't show anyone the poems and songs because it's about him.

I don't know what to do. It's like dopamine hit after hit every time I talk to him.

To be clear, I don't want to have a romantic relationship with him. I don't want to leave my bf. I don't want him to leave his wife for me. I am just enjoying talking to him. It feels like we're connected but fated not to be. He makes me feel beautiful.

I don't know how to stop this. It feels like I'm going through withdrawal every time I try to stop. ​​​​

Hello! I’m moving tomorrow 🤠 please give me your most unhinged strategies that work for you! Anything that helps you trick your brain into being more functional! My executive functioning is really bad and I am trying to avoid ending up living out of doom boxes in my new place. An example of the kind of thing I’m looking for is: even though I took the day off to pack, I got up and am keeping to my normal “before work” schedule including putting on my work clothes. This way my brain is in “work” mode.

Elsewhere I’ve mostly got suggestions about labeling and taking inventory of what I’m putting in boxes, while this is objectively great advice, it is not advice I am capable of following because of the severity of my executive dysfunction.

Any advice is welcome! Thank you!!!!

People who take daily medication:

I have been applying creams and having tabs for my psoriasis to keep it in control, and it’s so tough to keep that momentum and motivation going every single day.

Sometimes my skin is smooth, and sometimes it suddenly flares up.

What’s the hardest part for you?

•	Remembering  
•	Staying motivated  
•	Tracking doses  
•	Refilling prescriptions  
•	Something else?

I’m exploring an idea where medication adherence grows virtual plants, but I’m not sure if I’m solving the right problem

For those with ADHD, can you please fill out this form for me? I am neurodivergent and I am writing a book on the painful effects of ADHD. I’d really appreciate it thank you!!!!

https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=Roynvq-MdUaDzZWE82ZemjcHCH1104xKqm5pS0y8v3RUNFQyNEdEVlpMTVZCRTJRWThJT1hYQzREUy4u

After years of living with ADHD and trying countless productivity systems that never seemed to stick, I decided to write the book I wish I’d had years ago.
The Always-On ADHD: Simple Systems for Focus, Time, Emotion, Routines, and Everyday Follow-Through will be available on Amazon on June 30, 2026.
This book is designed for adults who struggle with:
• Focus and distractions
• Time blindness and procrastination
• Emotional overwhelm
• Building consistent routines
• Following through on everyday tasks
Instead of telling people with ADHD to “try harder,” it focuses on practical systems that work with an ADHD brain, not against it.
As someone with ADHD, a husband, father, and working professional, I wrote this book from real-life experience and years of learning what actually helps when your mind is always running.
I’m excited (and a little nervous) to finally share it.
For those of you with ADHD, what’s been the biggest challenge in your daily life: focus, time management, emotional regulation, organization, or something else?
Available June 30 on Amazon
The Always-On ADHD by Peter Womer

I've been using audio books for years to help me focus on my work. But recently the company that I work for has decided that it no longer will allow me to use my headset to listen to my audio books. I have tried using a speaker but it distracts others so that's a no go. I've also tried music but the safe for work stuff doesn't engage my brain enough ot help. Anyone have a suggestion?