u/RamaRao143

I'm 25, and I still live with my parents in the same place where I've lived my entire life.

Most of my cousins and friends have moved out for higher education, jobs, marriages, etc. Whenever I look at them, I feel like everyone is progressing except me.

I'm trying to become a Java backend developer, but I'm not even getting shortlisted. I don't have prior work experience, and honestly, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my career anymore. I keep preparing, stopping, overthinking, starting again, and then feeling guilty about wasting more time.

Further studies don't really feel like an option either. I feel like I'm already too old to go back and start another degree, especially when I don't even know what I want to study.

My family situation also makes me feel stuck. My parents are both 60+, my older brother is autistic, and we're basically living on my dad's pension. My mom takes care of the house. There isn't really much happening in our lives.

The three of us are basically at home, sitting idle most of the time. There isn't a family business, social life, or anything that gives us a sense of purpose or momentum.

I've also started going to the gym 5 days a week, around 90 minutes each day, and recently started ADHD medication. I'm currently sleeping around 11 hours a day, so outside the gym I don't feel like I'm getting much done.

The hardest part is comparing myself to everyone around me. My parents actually earn/earned better than many of my relatives' parents, but their kids seem to have achieved so much more than I have. They've moved out, got jobs, pursued higher education, got married, built lives of their own.

And I'm still here.

I feel empty and purposeless. I don't really have a life outside my house, gym, and repeatedly trying to figure out how to get a job.

I know 25 isn't objectively old, but emotionally it feels like I've already fallen far behind everyone.

For people who were in a similar position around 24–27, especially those who had no experience and weren't getting shortlisted: what did you actually do to get unstuck?

I don't need “you're still young” advice. I genuinely want to know how you figured out your career, created some momentum, and started building an independent life when you felt completely stuck.

I'm 25, from India, and I still live with my parents in the same place where I've lived my entire life.

Most of my cousins and friends have moved out for higher education, jobs, marriages, etc. Whenever I look at them, I feel like everyone is progressing except me.

I'm trying to become a Java backend developer, but I'm not even getting shortlisted. I don't have prior work experience, and honestly, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with my career anymore. I keep preparing, stopping, overthinking, starting again, and then feeling guilty about wasting more time.

Further studies don't really feel like an option either. I feel like I'm already too old to go back and start another degree, especially when I don't even know what I want to study.

My family situation also makes me feel stuck. My parents are both 60+, my older brother is autistic, and we're basically living on my dad's pension. My mom takes care of the house. There isn't really much happening in our lives.

The three of us are basically at home, sitting idle most of the time. There isn't a family business, social life, or anything that gives us a sense of purpose or momentum.

I've also started going to the gym 5 days a week, around 90 minutes each day, and recently started ADHD medication. I'm currently sleeping around 11 hours a day, so outside the gym I don't feel like I'm getting much done.

The hardest part is comparing myself to everyone around me. My parents actually earn/earned better than many of my relatives' parents, but their kids seem to have achieved so much more than I have. They've moved out, got jobs, pursued higher education, got married, built lives of their own.

And I'm still here.

I feel empty and purposeless. I don't really have a life outside my house, gym, and repeatedly trying to figure out how to get a job.

I know 25 isn't objectively old, but emotionally it feels like I've already fallen far behind everyone.

For people who were in a similar position around 24–27, especially those who had no experience and weren't getting shortlisted: what did you actually do to get unstuck?

I don't need “you're still young” advice. I genuinely want to know how you figured out your career, created some momentum, and started building an independent life when you felt completely stuck.

I’m 25F from India, and I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now. After graduating, I got into IT but eventually got laid off. Since then, I’ve struggled to get back into the field. I tried different things and different career paths, but nothing really worked out.

The biggest problem now is that I can’t seem to make myself study or even start things, even when I know exactly what I need to do.

I feel like I’ve lost my ability to read and concentrate. I’ll sit down intending to study, but my mind immediately starts wandering, overthinking, or creating completely hypothetical future scenarios. I end up doing nothing and then feeling guilty about it.

I also struggle with inattentive ADHD, binge eating, anxiety, loneliness and feeling depressed. I constantly compare myself to people my age and feel like I’ve fallen behind in life.

A lot of my thoughts are basically:

“What am I even doing with my life?”

“What if I never get my career back?”

“Why did I make those decisions?”

“Everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.”

I spend so much time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future that I barely have any mental energy left for the present.

I started methylphenidate SR 18 mg four days ago, but so far I actually feel more lethargic and emotionally numb, rather than more focused. I know four days is very early and I’ll discuss this with my psychiatrist, but it made me wonder if anyone else experienced something similar when starting medication.

Honestly, I feel very lost right now. I know what I should be doing — studying, applying for jobs, building my career — but somehow I just cannot consistently make myself do it.

For those of you who have gone through long periods of unemployment, executive dysfunction, or feeling completely stuck:

How did you get yourself moving again? What actually helped you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar place and eventually managed to rebuild their career/life. ❤️

I’m 25F from India, and I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now. After graduating, I got into IT but eventually got laid off. Since then, I’ve struggled to get back into the field. I tried different things and different career paths, but nothing really worked out.

The biggest problem now is that I can’t seem to make myself study or even start things, even when I know exactly what I need to do.

I feel like I’ve lost my ability to read and concentrate. I’ll sit down intending to study, but my mind immediately starts wandering, overthinking, or creating completely hypothetical future scenarios. I end up doing nothing and then feeling guilty about it.

I also struggle with inattentive ADHD, binge eating, anxiety, loneliness and feeling depressed. I constantly compare myself to people my age and feel like I’ve fallen behind in life.

A lot of my thoughts are basically:

“What am I even doing with my life?”

“What if I never get my career back?”

“Why did I make those decisions?”

“Everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.”

I spend so much time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future that I barely have any mental energy left for the present.

I started methylphenidate SR 18 mg four days ago, but so far I actually feel more lethargic and emotionally numb, rather than more focused. I know four days is very early and I’ll discuss this with my psychiatrist, but it made me wonder if anyone else experienced something similar when starting medication.

Honestly, I feel very lost right now. I know what I should be doing — studying, applying for jobs, building my career — but somehow I just cannot consistently make myself do it.

For those of you who have gone through long periods of unemployment, executive dysfunction, or feeling completely stuck:

How did you get yourself moving again? What actually helped you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar place and eventually managed to rebuild their career/life. ❤️

I’m 25F from India, and I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now. After graduating, I got into IT but eventually got laid off. Since then, I’ve struggled to get back into the field. I tried different things and different career paths, but nothing really worked out.

The biggest problem now is that I can’t seem to make myself study or even start things, even when I know exactly what I need to do.

I feel like I’ve lost my ability to read and concentrate. I’ll sit down intending to study, but my mind immediately starts wandering, overthinking, or creating completely hypothetical future scenarios. I end up doing nothing and then feeling guilty about it.

I also struggle with inattentive ADHD, binge eating, anxiety, loneliness and feeling depressed. I constantly compare myself to people my age and feel like I’ve fallen behind in life.

A lot of my thoughts are basically:

“What am I even doing with my life?”

“What if I never get my career back?”

“Why did I make those decisions?”

“Everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.”

I spend so much time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future that I barely have any mental energy left for the present.

I started methylphenidate SR 18 mg four days ago, but so far I actually feel more lethargic and emotionally numb, rather than more focused. I know four days is very early and I’ll discuss this with my psychiatrist, but it made me wonder if anyone else experienced something similar when starting medication.

Honestly, I feel very lost right now. I know what I should be doing — studying, applying for jobs, building my career — but somehow I just cannot consistently make myself do it.

For those of you who have gone through long periods of unemployment, executive dysfunction, or feeling completely stuck:

How did you get yourself moving again? What actually helped you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar place and eventually managed to rebuild their career/life. ❤️

I’m 25F from India, and I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now. After graduating, I got into IT but eventually got laid off. Since then, I’ve struggled to get back into the field. I tried different things and different career paths, but nothing really worked out.

The biggest problem now is that I can’t seem to make myself study or even start things, even when I know exactly what I need to do.

I feel like I’ve lost my ability to read and concentrate. I’ll sit down intending to study, but my mind immediately starts wandering, overthinking, or creating completely hypothetical future scenarios. I end up doing nothing and then feeling guilty about it.

I also struggle with inattentive ADHD, binge eating, anxiety, loneliness and feeling depressed. I constantly compare myself to people my age and feel like I’ve fallen behind in life.

A lot of my thoughts are basically:

“What am I even doing with my life?”

“What if I never get my career back?”

“Why did I make those decisions?”

“Everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.”

I spend so much time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future that I barely have any mental energy left for the present.

I started methylphenidate SR 18 mg four days ago, but so far I actually feel more lethargic and emotionally numb, rather than more focused. I know four days is very early and I’ll discuss this with my psychiatrist, but it made me wonder if anyone else experienced something similar when starting medication.

Honestly, I feel very lost right now. I know what I should be doing — studying, applying for jobs, building my career — but somehow I just cannot consistently make myself do it.

For those of you who have gone through long periods of unemployment, executive dysfunction, or feeling completely stuck:

How did you get yourself moving again? What actually helped you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar place and eventually managed to rebuild their career/life. ❤️

I’m 25F from India, and I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now. After graduating, I got into IT but eventually got laid off. Since then, I’ve struggled to get back into the field. I tried different things and different career paths, but nothing really worked out.

The biggest problem now is that I can’t seem to make myself study or even start things, even when I know exactly what I need to do.

I feel like I’ve lost my ability to read and concentrate. I’ll sit down intending to study, but my mind immediately starts wandering, overthinking, or creating completely hypothetical future scenarios. I end up doing nothing and then feeling guilty about it.

I also struggle with inattentive ADHD, binge eating, anxiety, loneliness and feeling depressed. I constantly compare myself to people my age and feel like I’ve fallen behind in life.

A lot of my thoughts are basically:

“What am I even doing with my life?”

“What if I never get my career back?”

“Why did I make those decisions?”

“Everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.”

I spend so much time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future that I barely have any mental energy left for the present.

I started methylphenidate SR 18 mg four days ago, but so far I actually feel more lethargic and emotionally numb, rather than more focused. I know four days is very early and I’ll discuss this with my psychiatrist, but it made me wonder if anyone else experienced something similar when starting medication.

Honestly, I feel very lost right now. I know what I should be doing — studying, applying for jobs, building my career — but somehow I just cannot consistently make myself do it.

For those of you who have gone through long periods of unemployment, executive dysfunction, or feeling completely stuck:

How did you get yourself moving again? What actually helped you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar place and eventually managed to rebuild their career/life. ❤️

I’m 25F from India, and I’ve been unemployed for quite a while now. After graduating, I got into IT but eventually got laid off. Since then, I’ve struggled to get back into the field. I tried different things and different career paths, but nothing really worked out.

The biggest problem now is that I can’t seem to make myself study or even start things, even when I know exactly what I need to do.

I feel like I’ve lost my ability to read and concentrate. I’ll sit down intending to study, but my mind immediately starts wandering, overthinking, or creating completely hypothetical future scenarios. I end up doing nothing and then feeling guilty about it.

I also struggle with inattentive ADHD, binge eating, anxiety, loneliness and feeling depressed. I constantly compare myself to people my age and feel like I’ve fallen behind in life.

A lot of my thoughts are basically:

“What am I even doing with my life?”

“What if I never get my career back?”

“Why did I make those decisions?”

“Everyone else is moving forward while I’m stuck.”

I spend so much time ruminating about the past and worrying about the future that I barely have any mental energy left for the present.

I started methylphenidate SR 18 mg four days ago, but so far I actually feel more lethargic and emotionally numb, rather than more focused. I know four days is very early and I’ll discuss this with my psychiatrist, but it made me wonder if anyone else experienced something similar when starting medication.

Honestly, I feel very lost right now. I know what I should be doing — studying, applying for jobs, building my career — but somehow I just cannot consistently make myself do it.

For those of you who have gone through long periods of unemployment, executive dysfunction, or feeling completely stuck:

How did you get yourself moving again? What actually helped you?

I’d especially love to hear from people who were in a similar place and eventually managed to rebuild their career/life. ❤️

I always suffered with lots of food noise, cravings. I have been given 50mg. I strtd using half tab with fear of side effects. It's good for my cravings. I want to cont like this cuz I can save 50% on my bill. Is that okay?

The head is kinda heavy and spinning. I'm already on naltrexone and fluxotine from 15 days. Today I started my ADHD med. Is it normal?

I'm a 2021 ECE graduate from India, currently 25. I have no relevant work experience and have been trying to break into IT (Java backend).

Over the past year, I've:

- Applied to 500+ jobs.

- Got referrals.

- Even applied for unpaid internships.

- Received almost no interview calls (mostly automatic rejections). From what I understand, my graduation year + career gap is likely getting my resume filtered out before anyone even looks at it.

I had also considered CAT/GATE, but I'd have to start from scratch, join coaching, and by the time I graduate I'd be around 28. That doesn't feel like the right choice for me at this stage.

Right now, these are the options I'm considering:

1. Give IT one final shot for the next 2 months. If I somehow get in, great.

2. Join a BPO/non-IT job just to start earning and get out of the house, then decide my next step.

3. Go back to ECE. Explore fields like networking, telecom, embedded, VLSI, etc., join a beginner role even if it's ₹10k/month, upskill while working, and maybe pursue M.Tech later if it makes sense.

4. My coaching institute has been pushing people to use fake experience to get contract IT jobs. A lot of people there have done it. I'm honestly very conflicted about this because I know there are risks.

A couple of my friends from ECE are doing really well now (one in VLSI, another in semiconductors after M.Tech), which made me wonder if I should return to core ECE. The only problem is I never really liked most ECE subjects except networking and communication-related topics.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Please be brutally honest. Especially if you've had a long career gap or switched careers successfully.

​

I'm a 2021 ECE graduate from India, currently 25. I have no relevant work experience and have been trying to break into IT (Java backend).

Over the past year, I've:

- Applied to 500+ jobs.

- Got referrals.

- Even applied for unpaid internships.

- Received almost no interview calls (mostly automatic rejections). From what I understand, my graduation year + career gap is likely getting my resume filtered out before anyone even looks at it.

I had also considered CAT/GATE, but I'd have to start from scratch, join coaching, and by the time I graduate I'd be around 28. That doesn't feel like the right choice for me at this stage.

Right now, these are the options I'm considering:

1. Give IT one final shot for the next 2 months. If I somehow get in, great.

2. Join a BPO/non-IT job just to start earning and get out of the house, then decide my next step.

3. Go back to ECE. Explore fields like networking, telecom, embedded, VLSI, etc., join a beginner role even if it's ₹10k/month, upskill while working, and maybe pursue M.Tech later if it makes sense.

4. My coaching institute has been pushing people to use fake experience to get contract IT jobs. A lot of people there have done it. I'm honestly very conflicted about this because I know there are risks.

A couple of my friends from ECE are doing really well now (one in VLSI, another in semiconductors after M.Tech), which made me wonder if I should return to core ECE. The only problem is I never really liked most ECE subjects except networking and communication-related topics.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Please be brutally honest. Especially if you've had a long career gap or switched careers successfully.

​

I'm a 2021 ECE graduate from India, currently 25. I have no relevant work experience and have been trying to break into IT (Java backend).

Over the past year, I've:

- Applied to 500+ jobs.

- Got referrals.

- Even applied for unpaid internships.

- Received almost no interview calls (mostly automatic rejections). From what I understand, my graduation year + career gap is likely getting my resume filtered out before anyone even looks at it.

I had also considered CAT/GATE, but I'd have to start from scratch, join coaching, and by the time I graduate I'd be around 28. That doesn't feel like the right choice for me at this stage.

Right now, these are the options I'm considering:

1. Give IT one final shot for the next 2 months. If I somehow get in, great.

2. Join a BPO/non-IT job just to start earning and get out of the house, then decide my next step.

3. Go back to ECE. Explore fields like networking, telecom, embedded, VLSI, etc., join a beginner role even if it's ₹10k/month, upskill while working, and maybe pursue M.Tech later if it makes sense.

4. My coaching institute has been pushing people to use fake experience to get contract IT jobs. A lot of people there have done it. I'm honestly very conflicted about this because I know there are risks.

A couple of my friends from ECE are doing really well now (one in VLSI, another in semiconductors after M.Tech), which made me wonder if I should return to core ECE. The only problem is I never really liked most ECE subjects except networking and communication-related topics.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Please be brutally honest. Especially if you've had a long career gap or switched careers successfully.

​

I'm a 2021 ECE graduate from India, currently 25. I have no relevant work experience and have been trying to break into IT (Java backend).

Over the past year, I've:

- Applied to 500+ jobs.

- Got referrals.

- Even applied for unpaid internships.

- Received almost no interview calls (mostly automatic rejections). From what I understand, my graduation year + career gap is likely getting my resume filtered out before anyone even looks at it.

I had also considered CAT/GATE, but I'd have to start from scratch, join coaching, and by the time I graduate I'd be around 28. That doesn't feel like the right choice for me at this stage.

Right now, these are the options I'm considering:

1. Give IT one final shot for the next 2 months. If I somehow get in, great.

2. Join a BPO/non-IT job just to start earning and get out of the house, then decide my next step.

3. Go back to ECE. Explore fields like networking, telecom, embedded, VLSI, etc., join a beginner role even if it's ₹10k/month, upskill while working, and maybe pursue M.Tech later if it makes sense.

4. My coaching institute has been pushing people to use fake experience to get contract IT jobs. A lot of people there have done it. I'm honestly very conflicted about this because I know there are risks.

A couple of my friends from ECE are doing really well now (one in VLSI, another in semiconductors after M.Tech), which made me wonder if I should return to core ECE. The only problem is I never really liked most ECE subjects except networking and communication-related topics.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Please be brutally honest. Especially if you've had a long career gap or switched careers successfully.

I'm a 2021 ECE graduate from India, currently 25. I have no relevant work experience and have been trying to break into IT (Java backend).

Over the past year, I've:

- Applied to 500+ jobs.

- Got referrals.

- Even applied for unpaid internships.

- Received almost no interview calls (mostly automatic rejections). From what I understand, my graduation year + career gap is likely getting my resume filtered out before anyone even looks at it.

I had also considered CAT/GATE, but I'd have to start from scratch, join coaching, and by the time I graduate I'd be around 28. That doesn't feel like the right choice for me at this stage.

Right now, these are the options I'm considering:

1. Give IT one final shot for the next 2 months. If I somehow get in, great.

2. Join a BPO/non-IT job just to start earning and get out of the house, then decide my next step.

3. Go back to ECE. Explore fields like networking, telecom, embedded, VLSI, etc., join a beginner role even if it's ₹10k/month, upskill while working, and maybe pursue M.Tech later if it makes sense.

4. My coaching institute has been pushing people to use fake experience to get contract IT jobs. A lot of people there have done it. I'm honestly very conflicted about this because I know there are risks.

A couple of my friends from ECE are doing really well now (one in VLSI, another in semiconductors after M.Tech), which made me wonder if I should return to core ECE. The only problem is I never really liked most ECE subjects except networking and communication-related topics.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Please be brutally honest. Especially if you've had a long career gap or switched careers successfully.

I'm a 2021 ECE graduate from India, currently 25. I have no relevant work experience and have been trying to break into IT (Java backend).

Over the past year, I've:

- Applied to 500+ jobs.

- Got referrals.

- Even applied for unpaid internships.

- Received almost no interview calls (mostly automatic rejections). From what I understand, my graduation year + career gap is likely getting my resume filtered out before anyone even looks at it.

I had also considered CAT/GATE, but I'd have to start from scratch, join coaching, and by the time I graduate I'd be around 28. That doesn't feel like the right choice for me at this stage.

Right now, these are the options I'm considering:

1. Give IT one final shot for the next 2 months. If I somehow get in, great.

2. Join a BPO/non-IT job just to start earning and get out of the house, then decide my next step.

3. Go back to ECE. Explore fields like networking, telecom, embedded, VLSI, etc., join a beginner role even if it's ₹10k/month, upskill while working, and maybe pursue M.Tech later if it makes sense.

4. My coaching institute has been pushing people to use fake experience to get contract IT jobs. A lot of people there have done it. I'm honestly very conflicted about this because I know there are risks.

A couple of my friends from ECE are doing really well now (one in VLSI, another in semiconductors after M.Tech), which made me wonder if I should return to core ECE. The only problem is I never really liked most ECE subjects except networking and communication-related topics.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Please be brutally honest. Especially if you've had a long career gap or switched careers successfully.

2021 passout + 10 months exp + laid off. After that i tried for govt sector. Couldn't get in. Now want to get into IT, learning java backend. Applied for more than 200 jobs and internships in the past 2 months. Couldn't get shortlisted. Can u please guide me what to do. I am stuck and confused.