r/therapyabuse

It is extremely alienating. Not only do you become distanced from regular people, you also get distanced from therapists who are supposed to be people that help you. Many therapists would choose their tribe over helping you because they can't handle that their tribe would harm you, especially intentionally. And that's if you can muster trust in therapists after being abused by one of them.

The power imbalance is so great in this profession

Something I've noticed online and different online forums if you say you've had an argument with someone and got angry/ need space away from the person then it's not normal.

For example I asked what DBT on a different online fourm and everyone said "DBT is tor people who have intense emotions" "It's for people who can't calm down within an hour" when I said sometimes I need alone time away from the person and not discuss the argument until my head is cleared.

Someone said "It's not the norm to take more than 1hr to calm down and that's unusual"

As much as I have a power struggle with my therapist she has never ever suggested DBT even though she knows sometimes I can get angry.

So I am so confused why it's always the first thing people suggest on reddit?

It's very invalidating and patronising in a sense of "Your emotions are too much for me to handle to to DBT and learn how to be calm"

It's all just talking to an NPC. The client/patient is in the wrong purely by virtue of being the client/patient. Talk in circles.

We’ve been working on me not tolerating disrespect from people in my life. My therapist would scroll on her phone during our sessions. Then she scheduled an in-person appointment, didn’t show up, and never told me not to come. When I called her, she brushed it off with a quick apology, said we’d ‘discuss it next time,’ and rushed off the phone no real acknowledgment of how that felt.
That was the last straw, so I ended things with no explanation. I figure she knows why. It felt like a fitting, almost ironic way to finally hold a boundary. Now she keeps texting and emailing about group classes and coming back to one-on-ones, even though I already told her I was on vacation and would reach out when I was ready. Weird.

-edit- grammar. Punctuation.

ist there any context where it would be okay for a therapist to tell a patient that hearing about their SA turns them on?

i just feel so weird about it, and like i can't really be mad about it because him saying that instantly turned me on. i feel so fucked up for that.

i know in my head that it is bad, especially because it wasn't the first time he said inappropriate things, just one of the worst things he's said. but i just feel nothing about it or turned on. the only way i know it's fucking me up is that i can't stop thinking about it.

it's so weird. he's so empathetic, gets tears in his eyes sometimes, gives me coffee, and a blanket, makes me feel like i am important. but then whenever i talk about anything remotely sexual, he gets these inappropriate outbursts like he can't help himself.

i don't want him to be abusive. i don't want to lose him and be without a therapist. he literally let me jump the waiting list, and i was so lucky for that.

Im just in so much doubt about myself. I want to report my therapist and ive been living in anger for years, so something about my experience must've been bad. I want to report for multiple violations.

Its undeniable my therapist was unprofessional, but some voice is telling me im just being vengeful to a person who meant no harm and tried to care about me. And now im trying to ruin her life bc I was not helped.

For some of the things id report her for, they arent black and white. Like maybe she made a mistake, but i let her make the mistake or agreed to be ok with it, and now im seeing it worse than it actually is because I want to "gotcha!" her. Like I want to destroy someone who was really not so bad. Or perhaps, I am remembering worse than what reality was bc my memory has not been the greatest. I am prone to doubting myself. I am also not a very happy person, and have been angry for a long time (hence why I sought therapy.) I find myself so unreliable, but there is a chance im not, and its just the doubts again. I have some evidence that will support what i say, but evidence is just that. Not the full story from both sides.

Please if there's anyone who can give advice on how to trust yourself, or maybe how you dealt with doubts yourself, if you experienced them, I really want to hear.

Something my therapist said to me a couple months ago is coming back to me now.

She wanted me to find a psychiatrist so I could get medicated, so that when we are revisiting trauma it can help me with intense feelings.

But if the severity of my trauma is dimmed by medication, doesn't that just make it seem like therapy is helping me, when really its the medication?

I mean it's like doing physical therapy while on ibuprofen the whole time. You can't actually tell if it's working or not.

so basically I got sent to dual diagnosis sandstone care PHP program and basically all the staff members at some point I saw them fucked up and high or drunk on the job and only saw1 of them who was always completely sober out of the 6 staff remembers there and the only therapy I received there was filling out the suicide risk assessment quiz daily by myself and fill it out weekly with a therapist and watching a single YouTube video about mental health and being forced to do mental health worksheets abe the rest of the time we would just watch cartoons on Netflix and dailymotion like Rick and Morty or bojack horseman and stuff and go on walks around the parking lot and I also bought 2 vapes from the kids there 1 was a nicotine vape and the other one was a alt noid vape cause They didn’t supervise me properly and also I met my tweaker girlfriend there but she got sent back to inpatient for failing a pee test for meth and I made a bunch of money selling my clean pee to the other kids there before I relapsed on drugs.

Has anyone else found this with different bands?

I Do Not Want This - Nine Inch Nails

Piggy- Nine Inch Nails

There are others I can list but can anyone else finds songs from bands that can be seen from an anti therapy light.

Update to older post. Civil suit against Ex -T and her former employer…

We are still in the thick of the lawsuit but a settlement has been offered by both defendants. It’s a very large malpractice insurance offer(s) (7 figures) yet, I still am conflicted about wanting this to go to trial. My attorney is telling me to take the offers and try and put this behind me…I just kinda want therapist to answer to what she did in a public forum. I kinda need that. I don’t know what to. It’s never been about $, always accountability. My lawyer states she can’t guarantee a jury will award as much but ultimately it is my decision

As for the Board, they have informally made ex t be supervised while the investigation plays out. In reality I am assured by my attorney that once settlement is sent to the Board, she will have her licence revoked almost immediately.
Ex t is advertising as a life coaching right now. Good luck in NJ.

The worst part for me personally is as bad as she was to me, she was also kind other times. I feel sad a lot about what happened and am working on it with PhD and IOP but it’s still so hard. Grieving but anger for what she did me. It’s killing me

Thank
You all who have followed this story and have not doubted me.
I’m ve been banned from the “therapist” forum bc I had a few supposed therapist doubt my story and say I’m a loony tune l without knowing me and my whole story. I responded a little unkind.. o well

Update to older post(s)

So I wanted to give an update about what has been going on since my last post(s). I appreciate so many of you taking the time to offer me advice and good wishes. This has been devastating and I’m only surviving one day at a time, one minute, one second at a time.

My old therapist has now been reported by a third mental health professional regarding her treatment of me. This most recent report was specifically about how the therapist asked me to write to the Board and deny all the accusations in the original complaint(s) and specifically to deny that gifts were taken.
Ironically, she asked me to do this via a text.
I am not sure she has been made aware of this 3rd report as of yet BUT she has been served a Cease and Desist, a legal notice of representation of me and a request for my records.
There is no communication between us at this point. It’s been about 2 weeks.

This situation Is honestly a pain in my soul that I never knew could exist. I am devastated over this loss and I literally feel like I am dying. My mind is so dark and I am so tortured. Some times I don’t know if I’m going to be able to go on. Most times ending it all seems to be the most logical. My heart aches so bad. I love her.

I do know though that reality is that Although for the past 8 years I have been in “treatment” I really just was in a “relationship” where I loved a person with everything I had only to be fooled into thinking she loved me too. She was a therapist who abused her power, enjoyed being worshipped and took advantage of me. I went to a therapist for help but instead I’ve not grown, improved or become independent but instead I regressed am majorly depressed and I have become more dependent. I’ve given and given just hoping to buy a little more of her time and attention but in the end, it just became expected and not even a simple “thank you” could she manage from out of her lips. I meant nothing. I was her guaranteed 3x a week paycheck and even after she was under investigation and couldn’t officially see me anymore, she continued to benefit. It was never about helping me.

So, The attorney says that this is the worst case of exploitation that she has ever seen in her career.
There is so much evidence that it will be impossible for a defense. She did all of this herself. She knew better or should have known better. It’s sickening.
Yet…I still love her and I miss her. I feel terrible for her. I am so worried about her. Im sure she is going through hell right now and that hurts me. I don’t wish pain on anyone. I have empathy. Im also sure she must absolutely HATE ME.

Me, well Im suffering differently. I’m grieving the loss of this relationship. I’m grieving what I thought was my best friend..my person…it hurts. I have a lot of healing to do and learning to maybe love myself a little bit for once.
I’ve since started an IOP and am still iso a PhD or PsyD. I need a lot of help. It’s gonna take a lot of work. I don’t think I’ll ever get past this maybe I can learn to accept it. Honestly just to continue living is going to be a struggle that I might need some help with right now. I’m trying to stay strong. I just want the pain to stop.

I know this was long and not well written. It’s late and I’m just writing my thoughts. Again thank you all who have been so supportive.
For those who think that my posts are made up stories or whatever… God Bless you. I don’t wish this heartbreak and pain on anyone.

Greetings and salutations! I am a writer with a little bit of a dilemma and I'm hoping some of the folks at this sub-reddit might be able to help me out. Although it's not my usual form of content, and I don't have a very dedicated readership quite yet, I want to write an article about the actual, genuine efficacy of CBT, and especially how many people- therapists themselves included- seem to be getting lied to about what good it can actually do (ie- many CBT practitioners will claim that they "specialize" in the treatment of conditions- like, say, OCD- that are known to actively be made worse by CBT) and the harm it can cause when it's been misapplied to a situation. I found out while typing up this post that we do have a Media and Resources list here, and I'm definitely going to research some of the items on that list to see if they might have some of the information I'm looking for (and if I can access the books at my local library or buy them affordably enough), but I still think it bears asking for the specific thing(s) I'm looking for. I'm thinking of topics like:

- Therapy drop-out rates, ESPECIALLY if combined with studies on the reasons people drop out (yes, there is a lot of anecdotal information on this subreddit, as well as in my own life, but if there have been actual, bona-fide studies done on the reasons deserters jump the ship, that would add a lot more credibility and insight)

- Statistics on the number of people who attempt or succeed at voluntarily unaliving themselves while they've been in therapy, especially CBT, long-term (meaning they didn't just go home and do it after the 'intake')

- Conditions that are actively made worse by CBT but still prescribed to CBT anyway; the harmful effects, and any knowledge or professional speculation on the reasons why this happens

- Conditions that may not be actively made worse by CBT, but aren't known to be especially helped by it either, and any knowledge or professional speculation on the reasons why it doesn't help

- Research on what it *does* help with/whom it helps- or resources on how this might be under-studied as a whole

- Resources on the history and development of CBT, including topics like how elements of the dominant western culture (such as religion- even though the founders of CBT are known to have not been religious, a lot of religious spaces have co-opted it and added their own 'spin' to the Mental Health-o-sphere; for instance, the Love Languages guy who invented the concept of Love Languages is a religious guy who may have been running an agenda whether he consciously realized it or not) and how easy it is for 'theories' presented that way to just be accepted without people really asking if any of those claims have actually been proven true in a court of rigorous scientific testing

- Statistics on the number of people who get kicked out of therapy because of concerns like therapists absolutely refusing to treat their disorder. I've heard plenty of anecdotes on this, especially from people dealing with BPD, but having some actual numbers on the commonality of this would be tremendously helpful

- Any notes or studies on how under-prepared a therapist is to practice by the end of their education and complications they may experience at their end (such as being motivated to keep clients for the money even when they know they're out of their depth, not being provided adequate resources by their employer(s), or just genuinely not having anything truly helpful to offer because a patients' issues are systemic rather than individualistic in nature).

- Any information, anecdotal or otherwise, about therapists themselves becoming frustrated with the current culture of "Go to therapy!" being a thing people say about everyone and everything they don't understand (most recently for me- a YouTuber I otherwise really like shouted out "Go to therapy!" over a hypothetical romantic fantasy in a way that very much read like media illiteracy...) and weaponized therapy-speak; behaviors, thoughts, and ideas that are considered in the realm of "normal" but misunderstood by society as "problems" that require "treatment" (for instance, I once read that fantasizing about committing violence against someone when you're angry at them is normal; media-illiterate mental health warriors would probably be inclined to interpret this as "DV is completely acceptable, actually" but what it really means is that our species has had to employ violence to survive at all of our evolutionary stages and we will carry those impulses to our graves; playing it out in our heads is a way to vent those feelings and impulses without actually hurting anybody. Having these fantasies does not inherently mean you literally want to hurt someone or that you're violent/an abuser; it means you have urges left over from a long history of human evolution); what I'm going for, here, is that the public is generally ill-equipped to be making the suggestion of going to therapy in the first place.

This post is already so long I'm anxious about getting stopped for word count, so bear in mind that this list is not comprehensive. If you have a recommendation that seems like it fits in here or is topic-adjacent, go ahead and recommend it. I do prefer resources that I can access digitally for free, but anything is better than just googling this and getting back a bunch of resources looking to praise CBT- or else articles that discuss the problem(s) without giving any specific studies or numbers.

No joke. They preached same personal responsibility, stoicism, etc. bullshit, and they tell you to "face your problems" head on.

I can't see the difference. I would say the biggest archilees heel of leftist movements is being pro therapy advice, which is literally the same thing as following alpha male gurus on the internet, which honestly is a pretty conservative thing to do.

First of all, it is a way to victim blame people for "their problems" and not give a shit about anyone but themselves.

Second of all, it is a way for large corporations to shirk responsibility for abusing their workers.

Not only that but it is a way for therapists to blame victims, especially from backgrounds of abusive families, to "change themselves"

Personal responsibility is a social shaming mechanism where people need to change themselves to fit society's mold so that society doesnt have to change.

My turning point was when he prescribed me Wellbutrin XR for exhaustion, back then not yet diagnosed ADHD inattentive type (now I have the diagnosis), depression and smoking cessation as a bonus.

After 3 days on minimum dosage I started feeling really bad physically, ringing in my ears, being agitated and at some point even a nosebleed whilst rarely having one, probably due to very heightened blood pressure on these meds. I had tremors too and I think I was on the verge of a seizure. I felt really bad and was afraid I would die. When I contacted my psychiatrist, he still wanted me to take those meds for at least 10 days. If I did, I would be dead so I'm glad I stood my ground and said no.

I said something wasn't ok with these meds and antidepressants didn't work for me in the past and said I wanted to take a pharmacogenetic test, he said it was useless and I shouldn't do it because Wellbutrin XR works only with 1 type of liver enzyme and that it's very rare and wanted to put me on antipsychotics instead. I'm glad I didn't listen to him yet again.

I did the pharmacogenetic test, it was a bit expensive and took some time but I'm glad I did it. It turns out I was overdosed on minimal dosage of Wellbutrin XR because my liver enzyme variation for it is indeed intermediate metabolizer which means it stays longer in my body because it is being broken down very very slowly. It also explained my side effects symptoms that neither the psychiatrist nor the apothecary have warned me about. They even knew I already had slightly elevated blood pressure before starting these meds. Isn't that medical malpractice?

Also my enzymes for antidepressants explain why none of them worked for me and now I know if I ever get any heart problems, most heart medications can be dangerous for me to take.

Good grief, fuck that guy, I'm glad I listened to my gut feeling/instinct.

Hey everyone,

I've been lurking for a little while, but this is my first time posting. I have been in therapy of my own volition for nearly twenty years, and I've experienced my fair share of therapists who have done more harm than good. While there have been a few who have provided some validation and useful strategies-- the majority of my experiences have left me feeling worse about myself, gaslit about what I've experienced, and alienated and alone. The bulk of the healing I've done I feel like I've done myself, through reading, journaling, getting distance from abusive people, forming more reciprocal relationships, or having my life circumstances improve, either through luck or effort.

I think I am realizing that a long-standing friendship is what has maybe turned me off of therapy for good. Basically, I have a friend ( we're not talking right now) who is a social worker, and to me it feels like this friend is a bit high on the power that diagnosing other people seems to provide them. My hunch is that they are experiencing a lot of internalized stigma around their own mental health stuff, and are putting others down to build themselves up.

They talk about how stable they are now as if they've arrived at some destination, have seen the light, etc., while talking about how it is their "sacred duty" to diagnose their friends. Despite coming from a social justice background, they frequently diagnose clients with borderline personality disorder, a highly stigmatized disorder with a very misogynistic history, while saying that if a patient meets the criteria it's just that simple ( I guess they don't believe in differential diagnosis). They offered to help a friend of my partner's who is in a very precarious situation with her resume, but on the call, told her to her face that they believed she was actively psychotic and could never work unless she was on medication, and then was angry at my partner for even exposing them to this person. The person getting the resume help had disclosed to my therapist friend that she was a psychiatric abuse survivor.

They've insisted that I have bipolar, as well as borderline ( I don't, even though I have plenty of other mental health diagnoses that I do think are more fitting, despite being critical of the medical model. No therapist has ever thought that I had either of these conditions, and I also didn't ask for their opinion on the matter). I do have cPTSD, ADHD, am level 1 autistic, and have struggled with OCD, if we are going with labels, but my opinion is that these are an imprecise science to begin with and that the individual gets to determine whether or not they identify these labels. I've made my stance on this clear-- that I don't identify with either of these diagnoses, that no other friends think these fit me, and that I am overall critical of the DSM and the medical model, as well of the institution of therapy as a whole. Still, if I am ever upset about the way someone has treated me, or am sad about being excluded by a cliquey group of friends, they say I am "splitting," etc. I feel like anyone who has ever known me would probably tell me I could stand to stand-up for myself more and suppress my anger less, actually.

It's really hard to sum everything up in this post, but our surrounding friend group is very steeped in therapy-speak, and often weaponizes it to be manipulative or selfish.For example, this aforementioned therapist friend suggested that it was "unsafe to unmask around me" when I shared that it hurts my feelings when we hang out on holidays ( we are both estranged from family) and they do not look up from their phone and effectively just ignore me, or respond impatiently and irritably to things I say. I said this gently, and as soon as they said it was relating to unmasking, I was like "Oooh, okay. If that's where it's coming from, I feel better." But they continued to insist I was now completely unsafe to unmask around. The irony is that I am neurodivergent as well, but they blamed how they treat me on "my social cues being too subtle." They also have recently been going on in some very grandiose ways about how empathetic they are and how much they have helped their clients. There has also been a recent stint in which they suggested I am unempathetic/morally in the wrong for not believing that AI chatbots are conscious. I read the manuscript ( a transcript of their chat with an AI chatbot) they were trying to publish, and it was just them soaking up the chatbot sycophancy, while the chatbot repeatedly told them how empathetic they were for recognizing its consciousness. I don't know if some form of AI psychosis is going on or whether they just need to be told that they're empathetic, special, etc.

I am still figuring out whether this is worth another conversation/whether this friendship is worth trying to salvage, but goodness, I am so tired. This friend group talks in culty therapy-speak pretty incessantly, and I've realized that I just have a different outlook on life and on life and maybe these folks are just not my people but with this particular friend, it is concerning because they're a professional. I'm worried they could do some realdamage, but I don't really think there's anything I can do about that.

In terms of my own therapists, I'm pretty sick of cycling through them. I think my current one has overstepped a lot (insisting my grandma isn't being neglected, and that she was most likely abusive so no one has to take care of her---my therapist has so few details, and there is absolutely no way to know what my grandma was like as a parent, regardless of what we might suspect. I think she had issues, but I have no actual evidence that she was severely abusive or solely responsible for creating the cruel people my father and aunt have become. I am open to the possibility, but the truth of the matter is we just don't have this information, and neglecting an elderly, isolated, non-English speaking person is inexcusable imo, in my value system, especially when there are financial resources and other people willing to be caregivers. But I guess she felt the need to impose this value and assumption on me).

It all just feels alienating and useless, and I guess I'm supposed to buy that I'll never heal from trauma unless I submit myself to these alienating interactions and imbalanced power dynamics in which I feel like people aren't even really listening, in which half the time, they're just projecting their own shit onto me? I don't know, I leave therapy feeling like shit about myself, like I'm perceiving my own life inaccurately. She even made a comment about an adult who was creepy to me when I was a child/young teen just "trying to protect my purity" AFTER I mentioned that this adult said and did some inappropriate things.

My actual therapist aside, I think my friend who happens to be a therapist is the one who has really burned me. I feel like they needed to see me as crazy/broken to build themselves up, and from what I've heard, the way they're behaving with clients also concerns me. Being in this one-on-one dynamic with people who have the potential to overstep and abuse power really scares me and does not feel worth it, but I am coming up against the fact that everyone acts like this is the only way to really heal. For instance, when I told my other friend that I was "going back to therapy" after a traumatic family event, the friend said "I'm proud of you" ( they meant well) as if that was the healthy thing to do, or as if my previous resistance ( only after decades of trying) was somehow unhealthy or unenlightened. I don't know--does anyone have any resources that are therapy-critical while still encouraging healing and hope?

It just seems like the more invested in therapy-speak/culture someone is, the more callous and judgemental they tend to be. It makes me so sad, and I really don't want to become like this myself.

I am wondering if anyone else has arrived here through a therapist in their lives ( friend, partner, etc.), not just their own therapist. I am also curious about any resources about trauma healing, not through one-on-one therapy, that anyone has. I want space from this stuff, but I don't want to give up on healing, growing, etc.

CW SA, CSA, gender dysphoria, suicide attempt

(I have PMDD so my emotions are heightened right before my period. I’m fine now and not experiencing any ideation. I’m being stubborn about seeking treatment now)

Been seeing a rape counselor for over a year now over an incident that occurred early last year. I have a history of childhood sexual abuse that I’ve discussed with her as well. She hasn’t been the most competent person I’ve talked to because she has more history being a crisis advocate, but I’ve been giving her the benefit of the doubt because she’s still new to this field. I attempted suicide a couple of days ago right before my period started, and we explored this in our session yesterday. I’m starting to experience gender dysphoria during my luteal phase that I don’t attribute to hormones or trauma (some transphobic people use this in their propaganda too) because it isn’t the first time this has happened. The same goes for my sexuality: I keep wondering if I’ve been a lesbian experiencing comphet this whole time. I discussed this with her and she came to the conclusion that I “need to get back on birth control and take medication for BPD”. I became perplexed by the random insert of BPD into the discussion and questioned her reasoning, and she said “well, a hallmark of BPD is that you have an unstable sense of self, right?” I’m thankful that it was just a phone call and not a Zoom call because I could not hide the look on my face lol. That is one of the weirdest things any mental health professional has said to me! Idk if I’m overreacting or not but it doesn’t sit right with me at all.

And like the Vatican they cover for the abuser in order to protect the image of the industry. But I must not forget the flying monkeys from the congregation!!! Bc “not all priests” and “not all therapists” right?

Note to mods: this may be therapy reform. It is mainly therapy culture drama. So I’m saying therapy critical

I’m single, female and 47. I have been through a lot with therapy but this is another story. My therapy bio: mom wanted me in therapy in high school for not getting asked out, mom wanted me on Prozac because my brother was on drugs, went to therapy after an abusive boyfriend and learned boundaries, friends didn’t like boundaries so it caused havoc, marriage therapists said things like: you will never get pregnant with that kind of attitude, you have to allow your husband to tell his mom every thing, your pcos is public but his flaccidity is private, therapist gave legal advice unsolicited, last therapist wanted me to vacation with my mom who enabled by brother

Enough with my drama on to therapy culture drama

I was involved in a Facebook dating group where we analyzed men’s profiles. A anonymous woman made a post that saying see a therapist is cruel. She got a bunch of backlash. People said it was helpful. It was kind to say see a therapist

I said if someone is sad because they lost their dog or their job. Is that really a good response? Like my neighbors whose house burned down. I gave them clothes, food and dog toys as they rebuild. Would it be helpful to say as they leave….oh by the way see a therapist. That response got hate. I was being LOL emoji’ed. My notifications were filling up fast with them. I was told I wanted people to not seek help

I then said 2 years post divorce i was doing the work. I was literally doing anything that damned therapist said. I went to meetups. I took classes. I met people but I didn’t make any long term friends. I spent the holidays alone. And I went along with this story and said I mentioned that to someone. I didn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with. The persons response…see a therapist. Well I was going through therapy at that time

I was told “in the kindest” way possible that no one wants to be around me and I did to do the work to get people to like. More or less…but it was asinine

I blasted the group that this isn’t the result of people who have been through therapy. It’s parroting. I left the group. Drama done? No

They stalked and mocked my personal Facebook page.

Too bad I cannot share the screenshots.

Anyway, the values of empathy and curiosity seem to be missing in the therapy culture

I want to reform this some how. But that’s another saying

I‘m really angry today. I’m suffering from mediocre depression (mostly functional) and I’m unemployed for over 2 years now (the job market is horrible in my field). Because psychotherapists I could afford are rare in my area, I decided to take part in a depression/anxiety study provided by a psychological college with real psychotherapists, which made it possible to attend 3 therapy sessions for free (furthermore, I had to do a phone interview and had to check a very dumb mental health app). The first 2 therapy sessions were okay. Today there was my last therapy session and the (female) psychotherapist showed her real face. I told her I had a very hard job interview 2 weeks, the recruiters had really bothered me. Instead of showing empathy, the psychotherapist blamed all difficulties on me and said (summarized): “Well, you have been unemployed for such a long time now, so it must have something to do with.” Devastated, I told her, my job field was very difficult at the moment und so the companies had more power over the job searchers than before. She smiled arrogantly, clearly showing me that she was making fun of me. ‘Cause I’ve grown up with many toxic people, I realized she was also one of them. I could have cried and was very glad it was my last therapy session there.

The little warning popped up about legal advice so just to clarify: I am not seeking legal advice.

Several years ago, I was sexually, financially, spiritually and emotionally exploited by a therapist who also tried to rope me into his criminal activities (he failed at that last one). He is now facing a mountain of felony charges for numerous identical crimes ... My case is beyond the statute of limitations, but I am a witness. I have to face him in court all by myself. Through the whole investigation and all the trauma coming back up and so much stress ... I have not had support. If anything, friends and family have been judgmental or disgusted once they knew I was associated with the case. People react the same way when they find out about my childhood so it is a familiar sort of dirty feeling.

I tried to come forward a long time ago and nobody believed me.

Anyway, the stress is absolutely crushing me. It is also very costly to be part of a criminal trial. I am in total shutdown.

Please do not tell me to get more therapy. I did already. It was harm heaped upon harm.

I am mostly venting because I suspect the lack of support is in part rooted in people refusing to believe a therapist could hurt someone / not believing victims who have a mental health diagnosis / failure to understand that a grown person can be groomed and abused.

(It is also, of course, that we treat SA survivors like garbage in general ... and this case has added layers that are hard for people to grasp.)