I feel bad about the lost time and money spent in therapy
Hello. I am glad this group exists. Sometimes I comment but then delete but i appreciate reading others experiences nonetheless.
So since about 2023 until now (I officially ended all forms of paid therapy) I’ve been in various therapies with 3 different people .
I have recognized through my own research I struggle with complex trauma and attachment trauma . I especially deal with the avoidance /freeze response which is apparently the worst to help because your anger is so suppressed and it becomes a hiding response & a lot of these people are isolated as connection is their biggest struggle.
Im going to summarize my feelings as to not make this too long winded :
Both therapists and 1 counsellor knew they were not helping me after a period of time. 2 of them drifted into boundary blurring pseudo friendships , emailing , occasional texting and the other insisted on parts work when I was adamantly against that as I spend enough time in my head. They stopped the parts work but I came to them for something else.
None of these therapists did any kind of progress check in, see how goals were progressing after trust was built or revisited their competence to perhaps refer me to something more appropriate or stop the therapy altogether . None. They kept taking my money and booking appointments while I got worse .
During my time with these therapists, I became somewhat dependent on them . I started revolving time around these therapy appointments.
I realize healthy dependence is good , but I do not agree emotional dependence on a paid professional is good when you are not making progress or more importantly when they don’t understand how to recognize trauma responses…I consider this to be exploitation.
I missed time that could have been better spent visiting my aging grandmother. Or volunteering , or really immersing myself in a hobby .
I could have taken at least 4 trips for real self discovery / expansion for the amount of money I spent on therapy over 3 years…..
I’m angry at myself for letting this happen , but the only message I want to leave is to not give your authority away because someone with a licence claims to know how to help you or gains your trust or acts like they care , because majority of the time they do not , they can fake it for your continued bookings.
have regular check ins on how you are doing (aside from getting dependent on the therapist) how are things changing in your external life….some will say they can just walk alongside you , but this is BS and code for all I can do is listen , which might be fine if that’s what you want , but where are we as a society when we have to pay people to listen ?
I personally believe this to be a mostly harmful industry as there is barely any oversight or vetting . Therapists can write whatever they want on their profiles , that they work with trauma , but don’t and the client ends up paying. Therapist is never accountable as licensing boards are there for their reputation, not to help a psychologically harmed client . I hope more people start to see this industry for what it is , exploitation & unearned authority /privilege masquerading as altruism and help. & a return to community listening/mutual aid.