u/Waste-Reality7356

Hello, I'm asking more of a general life advice and hope this is okay.

I've posted weeks ago and unfortunately nothing really got better, it got worse.

Today I tried to ask for help, but I'm overwhelmed by the bureaucracy in the country where I'm from. I can't meet their demands for getting immediate help:

visit your GP, then get back with a code, just to make sure your problems have no 'organic or biological reasons'. Then call us and schedule an appointment.

But I can't make calls anymore.

Next problem: I got a job offer, but KNOW it will be overwhelming and an environment where I get overwhelmed fast, but I don't know hoe to communicate and the hiring process takes places for months now and is still not finished.

Next problem: the Hoard.

Next problem: fight with neighbors

next problem: no mobility. No busses.

next problem: many others.

I can't get help but also can't help myself.

I have problems I can't solve alone, yet for whatever reason it always fails to get help.

I think I got a bit off triggered because I overheard a neighbor who bullies me being nice and kind to men who work in the apartmentbuilding and are extremely loud, which is bothering me as well.

Unfortunately I cannot talk to the landlord or management, as she already spread lies about me.

Next problem: I've been unemployed for a long time.

Idk. I will stop texting here, but I just wanna say that I'm extremely overwhelmed.

as I don't belong anywhere.

It has been for a test, I mean a medical test. She told me I shouldn't breathe so deep, so I adjusted to her and just breathed a few seconds so that she didn't scold me.

Turns out my results haven't been good and the doctor - when I asked her for the reason- told me it could be 'because I didn't use the instrument correctly'

I felt like they were mocking me.

It has been 4 hours since that incident and I'm a bit at loss.

I had to go there but had a very bad good feeling and thought about canceling.

Now I regret that I didn't also because I told them data from me I didn't need to tell them and also didn't wanna tell them.

I'm tired of women trying to clip wings. I feel so lonely.

It has various reasons. I wanted to move for 4 years or even longer.

Flair is other...or maybe a vent. WWYD?

Edit: its not just one neighbor, it's multiple people being very ignorant and rude. Like throwing cigarette buts on my balcony, the next one forbids me to use the shared garden space, door slamming... etc

I do not know how someone finds a new apartment. It's either connection, a lot of money or luck.

editing:

thank you all for your input. The first thing I did was checking listings.

Yeah, it's progress, I guess?

Lately I've come in touch with reality again and I guess I'm just feeling a bit lonely. I wonder where to begin, I'm already over 30

Anyhow I hope you are taking care of yourself ☀️

Hello,

I wanted to help a woman who runs a cafè. Well, but she and I always had little misunderstandings. Since we tried to work together, it doesn't work well.

Now she asked me to babysit for her children.

I said I could give it a try for one day.

Then I overheard her saying to her kids, I'd babysit for two weeks until her dad comes back from holiday.

She is a WOC and I get running a business is hard, but I have a TON of problems and she asked me to babysit at a time where I'm most concentrated.

I feel bad for her because she is trying to survive but idk.. I really have to fix my life :(

What would u do?

Not sure if that's the correct flair

I've been using a LLM for the purpose of not feeling alone and yes also a substitute for talk therapy.

Now, for the second time, I deeply regret listeningn to it.

My issue is that I don't really have an alternative.

They always end up to be very, very bad. It's like a glitch cos first my ideas are good. But then I alter them and later regret it.

I am at my breaking point, I don't know what to do anymore.

Every decision I make is BS

not sure whom I could call

Yes, I've been using AI as a therapy outlet, after real therapy wasn't possible.

Now I made a decision which I deeply regret because I was influenced by it.

I don't have a job and cannot talk to my family and I'm not close to anyone anymore.

It really sucks. I'm isolated extremely.

Here are support groups and therapists available. But this would require appointments and time.

Hello, I cannot put in words what has happened, but I'm at a loss.

I keep telling myself that if I had made different choices, it would be still alive.

tw: dissociation

Hi maybe talking here can help,

I struggle to go outside after various incidents. I fear going outside but unfortunately have to.

Outside is never safe as people stare at me or even open mock me.

Overall I'm just at a very tough space with no one I could reach out or who would be willing to help me.

I got a job offer but unfortunately suggested something...anyways. I just notice that I would need friends and family, but I only speak to reddit and AI.

Ai tells me to call crisis hotline but those people often time can't help.

I was told that reddit can't help me but this is the only way I feel I can express myself or reach out.

I just wish I would have been able to move or go outside in the morning but for the past 4 hours I'm trying to figure out what to do.

Just processing again an accident in Germany driving bicycle.

I was going by bike while I heard a woman shouting "ATTENTION"

I had to stop at a traffic light, she wanted to straight forward. Before stopping I looked over my shoulders if there is someone.

In that moment

She yelled "Attention" and by that I stopped moving, because I thought she was about to hit the bicycle. Then I saw there was a distance from about 6 feet away. 🚲......🚲

She suddenly also stopped cycling and it seemed like she calculated I wouldn't stop for her and that's when I said ' Would you be able to just drive pass me, please?'

She reacted angry and I told her "What? I was about to look over my shoulder. Have a nice day!"

If I shout "Attention!" it's when an accident is about to happen. I had to stop at a traffic light at a crossroad and wouldn't drive straight forward as she had in mind.

She probably just assumed I wouldn't watch, just turn recklessly left. And when I stopped for her, so that she could drive pass me, I noticed that she was still some seconds behind me, so that there wasn't even a risk of a crash.

She saw that I was about to turn left and could have either slowed down or drove right,

but she insisted on me not checking enough and needing me to remind me how to "drive proper bicycle"

This happened 24 hours ago and it somehow gets me because I feel like I have to constantly walk on eggshells in Germany.

There is also a lot of microaggressions from people who are not white in Germany and it makes me again terrified to leave the door.

Yesterday I saw some men joking about me inside of a car. I stared at them and he just said "hi".

I could go on and on. It's like I need to be on guard 24/7 and I do not have anyone I can talk to. Of course not all are like these.

It's just that it starts to get to me and these environment is seriously affecting my health.

Thanks for reading.

Everything I do or not do turns out to be a false decision.

I think the bullying of yesterday still is in my nervous systeme.

I'm not feeling safe where I live. I have problems regarding a job offer, but I lost my ability to speak. I'd also need to eat.

Yesterday the day passed without accomplishing anything and I'm a bit at a loss.

Hello this is my first post and I'm avoiding

I'm avoiding going outside

tidying up my room.

I'm avoiding checking mails.

Taking care of myself and my future.

Avoiding doing chores.

I was never afraid to go outside, but after bullying and harrassment I am now.

How can I get outside again? This is really deliberating. I don't have someone who could help.

not sure if anyone can help me, it's okay.

I need to vent, it's that I am not able to think straight in my flat.

Of course, because of the hoard or the clutteredness.

Last week I made a post, that I need help.

Did I get the help I needed? No.*

Did I ask? nope.

I have troubles going outside, I mean leaving the flat. I'm not sure if agoraphobia fits.

I think I'm done trying because everytime I try to take care of something it becomes worse.

I'm tired of venting all the time.

I don't know what to do anymore. So I just slept.

I think what made yesterday become another failed day was me not setting boundaries.

I'm not sure how I can get out of this, not only the clutteredness.

I mean the other things I've been neglecting. Today I could barely move.

Why is that so? It's because of a very tiring neighborhood situation.

* sorry I mean I didn't get offline help. I did get online help from you, you are all very supportive.

edit: Here are people suggesting therapy. While it makes sense in theory not everyone gets help through therapy. Sad reality.

....:(

I cannot even say why exactly, maybe also because I cannot talk with someone.

I'm just very confused