I constantly see people writing that men with Asperger’s tend to be interested in science, trains, cars, and the like, whereas girls are into cosmetics, creativity, and clothing. I am a girl with Asperger’s, and my special interests fall into two categories: science (neuroscience, biology, and DNA) and games that challenge the mind (chess, Chinese checkers, Tetris, and Lego). As for creativity—I don’t consider drawing a special interest of mine, though I do enjoy it—but I absolutely adore lions. I’d be interested to hear what others have to say.

My friend (neurotypical male) had an interesting experience today in his university with a group of friends, apparently 3 guys and 2 girls.

Basically, they were talking about what kind of partner they would like to have (funny, tall, social, etc), and at some point conversation they started mentioning physical features, and my friend said that he only wanted to marry a white girl, no exceptions.

And everyone stared at him as if he said something atrocious, I don't remember the details after but one of the two girls discussed with him saying that preferences like that were racist.

I must say that I have no preferences in dating when it comes to race, my two ex partners show that, and I was surprised when he told me what happened because he's not even white, but I don't understand the controversy either.

I'm not the most romantically successful person because of my autism, I never had feelings of entitlement or hatred against others because of that, so why are people so offended when they are rejected over things they can't control?

Idk but I had to take this out of my chest because I consider feelings like that very unfair and similar to what an incel would think.

what are examples of things that traumatize you throughout the day? genuinely asking so I can be more aware.

I (38F) have been craving physical intimacy with my aspie bf (48M) but anytime I bring up that it feels like he is not attracted to me and that I need more physical intimacy in the bedroom, he says he is attracted but then we still don’t do anything but cuddle. I’ve also brought up several times that I want a submissive dominant dynamic where he is the dominant and what that involves and he says ok but it doesn’t materialize past that.

I was wondering what I need to do because bringing it up for discussion is not working.. I should set an ultimatum?

wondering if anyone could please share advise on how they've welcomed change or asked for change in a relationship that was successful.

I'm self diagnosed. started suspecting when I was 19. went down a rabbit hole and everything just made sense. it was like reading someone's observations of me. it mentioned a lot of things I did when I was a kid, and looking back, I was definitely different from other kids. Tried different therapists, but all I got was nonsense.

You cannot be autistic because autism is for children.

You cannot be autistic because you have a job (I was fired from jobs before and only have my current job because it is remote with minimum interaction)

You cannot be autistic as you don't look autistic/disabled.

Let's be real, in all my 19 years of living I've learned nobody likes autistic people so I don't naturally trust or expect others to be kind tk me so I don't know what else it could be

I was already feeling a bit depressed about a master’s program that’s turning out to be quite disappointing, and now the election results have left me even more depressed and paralyzed; it’s also as if all the paths that have led me this far have collapsed all at once. Not only do I see that the career I’ve chosen is turning out to be quite disappointing (due to factors beyond the career itself), but I also see that it will come under attack in the coming years, and that, overall, the future isn’t looking very good here.

Besides that, I can’t help but feel a bit lonely, inadequate, and frustrated. Not that I didn’t feel that way before, but I feel like everyone and everything around me is becoming more extreme and polarized. To be honest, I’ve always been haunted by the feeling of being unlucky—my financial situation (or my family’s) is good (I won’t have to worry about buying a place to live, and I’ll most likely even inherit a small income), and I’m supposedly intelligent, but at the same time, I’m bald (in my early 20s), autistic, ugly, deeply awkward, perhaps slightly repulsive, and I stutter a bit. I don’t have many friends. For a long time, I believed the solution was a kind of determined intellectual self-improvement as a way to overcome my “shortcomings.” Nowadays, as all my horizons crumble and I still feel as if I’m watching everything from the outside, it seems I was naive and like I wasted my life, or much of it.

Just got told by my mom who ignores me that the reason she ignores me and my friends ignore me is more than likely because I’m annoying. Lmao that’s so funny! 29 years on this planet and I haven’t learned shit. I’m still the same annoying bitch I was as a child. Love that for me. FUCK.

like the title says. my manager said i sounded rude to a certain customer who asked about a remake. she also said when i take orders i sound mean. i had a break down. i feel so embarrassed and sad. i don’t know how to control my tone and i can’t tell them “hey i have asperger’s and i have no fucking clue that i sound rude as hell right now” because that’s weird. i dont even realize im being rude. i wish i was normal

As a child, I used to be very loving and affectionate. As an adult, however... I am genuinely incapable of genuinely caring for other people. I see them as these unpredictable things I have nothing in common with.

The only exception seems to be my cat, and animals in general. They're simple and easy to understand.

how do i get people to be normal around me, i want to stop forcing myself to laugh at every joke it’s seriously exhausting, and whenever i tell people the truth like: “does my hair look good?” me: “it’s too straight you look like a long-haired dog” they get sad but i try telling them that i didn’t mean it in a bad way but your hair is too straight

So I’m part of a team at work. Our supervisor is off today. When I you into work today our system was down and I didn’t have access to my computer until 2 hours after. We were instructed to complete something by the end of day. I misunderstood the message as did my teammates. About a hour ago another supervisor stopped to let us know that no one had worked on the matter and that it would be reported to the high ups. My teammates and I immediately sprung into action and completed the task. But I’m feeling a bit anxious about it. I guess I shouldn’t be hard on myself because we all dropped the ball.

I'm 24 and live with my parents, I would say I've been very checked out socially since 10th grade. My social failures in 9th and 10th grade made me introverted for the rest of my HS years. I went to a state college and things didn't quite pick up. I only lived on the campus for a year because the food was terrible, but living there seemed like the only realistic way to form friendships and relationships if my house is a 40 minute drive. I spent 3-7th grade homeschooled which I had thought previously could have played some role in my social skills being stunted. I live in a rural area and the homeschoool groups I went to didn't have kids in my age group, meaning I didn't get experience interacting with peers. But now I'm at the point where even that is wishful thinking and that I'm just socially inept and it wouldn't have been any better if I was less isolated.

I would describe my social difficulties as being too random, I don't know how to segue the thoughts in my head with what is happening in the world around me. This has led to me asking awkward questions because of the randomness. In 9th grade I asked some kid if he slept well because I was sleep deprived. I asked some gay guy who texted me because he thought I was cute what music he's been listening to. I asked my French teacher if he's a forgiving person because he got angry at a student which intimidated and I said a few things in his class that I regretted saying. All of these questions got negative reactions because they seemed random or irrelevent to the relation I had with the person. Could something like conversation threading be a good thing to learn for this issue?

The second social issue I would say I have is humor. I've never really watched enough comedy or comedy related media to figure out formulas of how to be funny. The jokes I made in 9th and 10th grade got a negative reaction for being off color, offensive, or not witty. Often I'm trying to make an edgy joke and it's read the wrong way because I didn't think the joke through. My lack of wit makes people misread whether I'm joking or being serious. In 9th grade a hispanic girl was yelling some things which I thought were Spanish and I asked "Is that your hispanic language? I think the language barrier has to do with where you're from." I thought since she was an edgy and provocative person she would like more provocative humor. But she thought it was racist.

I've tried to give explanations for my social impairment in this post, for explanations on my cognitive/IQ impairment, I have this post on the Huberman subreddit "Are genetic mutations the most likely explanation for my cognitive impairment" I been diagnosed with two genetic mutations that impair neurobiological processes.

My life sucks.

I don't know. Where do I even begin?

I feel like I've become increasingly isolated over the years. I don't have much of a social life, I don't really go anywhere, and I don't have many people to talk to.

I'm 25, and I feel like I've spent most of my adult life going in circles.

I'm unemployed. My freelance graphic design work has dried up, I dropped out of university multiple times, and I've lost touch with most of the people I used to know.

I used to make enough money from freelance work to get by reasonably well. Things have gotten pretty tough. I depend on my parents, and without their support, I'd probably be homeless.

I can't afford to buy many things, whether that's clothes, technology, or anything else that would make life a little more comfortable. I've tried different hobbies but nothing really stuck

It's difficult to imagine building an independent life when even the basics are difficult to afford.

I also have autism, which adds another layer of difficulty to an already complicated situation. I struggle to socialize, make connections, and put myself out there.

I know autistic people can have relationships, careers, and fulfilling lives, but sometimes it's difficult to imagine that happening to me.

I feel like I'm starting considerably behind other people my age when it comes to relationships, social experiences, and just generally figuring out how to live.

Sometimes I genuinely feel like I'll never have a girlfriend. Ever. I've pretty much given up on the idea of finding love, or even making new friends.

I don't have much money, I don't have a career, I haven't had much luck with relationships, and I don't enjoy the place where I live.

I live in a mining city of roughly 500,000 people. Can't say I like this collectivist hellhole.

Let's start with the weather. Summers are unbearable, it barely ever rains, and there's not much to enjoy about the climate in general.

The job market is terrible. If you don't work in the mining sector, you are screwed. Your options are mostly lousy informal jobs that might not even pay minimum wage (which is already ridiculously low).

Want an actual decent job? Good luck. Your best bet is probably working for the government.

Higher education is free, which is nice, but don't get too excited. If you're interested in anything outside engineering or the humanities, chances are you'll have to attend a private university.

And then there's mental healthcare. It's bad. Really bad. There's one autism specialist in the entire city, a couple of specialized centers (which seem to focus primarily on children), and practically nothing available for autistic adults. Whats available costs something like 600-700 dollars in my countrys own monopoly money.

It took me years and roughly a dozen psychologists before finally getting my ASD diagnosis in January 2026.

The local football team sucks, and somehow ticket prices keep getting more expensive. I can't even afford to go watch my local team, not even when they're playing in a lower-tier competition.

Then there's the water. I honestly don't know what's going on with it, but I don't trust tap water at all.

There's practically nothing to do around here unless you enjoy going to bars or nightclubs. Want to see a decent band? Too bad. Barely anyone worth listening to ever comes here.

We used to have a comic book store. Used to. It went out of business. Lmao.

I tried getting into fitness, too. I joined a gym, but I never really managed to put on much muscle. As I became poorer, I could afford less food, which obviously didn't help. Eventually, I stopped going altogether.

The city itself is ugly as hell. Functional, sure, but aesthetically speaking, it's a depressing place.

And if you don't have a university degree, forget about finding a decent job.

Sometimes it feels like this place has absolutely nothing going for it.

I don't know. Sometimes I genuinely struggle to imagine a future for myself here.

Maybe moving somewhere else would help. Maybe moving to the capital, although there's the risk of ending up in some slum. Maybe moving to another country, somewhere like Canada, would give me a fresh start.

I picture myself spending the next 40 or 50 years alone, poor, and pretty much stuck in the same place.

I know that's a pretty bleak outlook, and maybe I'm being overly pessimistic. Maybe I'm depressed? I honestly have no clue. Getting proper mental healthcare around here is already difficult enough.

I don't know what comes next. I'd particularly like to hear from other autistic adults living in third world/developing countries

How did things turn out for you?