u/GlorifiedCarny

If you have never heard of it, it's basically a term for subclinical autism, milder than level 1 or what used to be Aspergers. Since autism is thought to be largely genetic/hereditary and is the result of the expression of a bunch of different genes, sometimes people might inherit just one or two traits, or have traits that only affect them very subtly.

One of my kids (26f) was told by her therapist that she fits into this category and it was not a surprise at all, as it's pretty much what we've always known about her - she's a lot like me, but has never been hindered by any of the traits she inherited from me. They're much milder for her. She did well in school both academically and socially, only has a couple easily remedied sensory issues, was never prone to meltdowns or exhausted by social interaction like I am, etc. She has intense interests and is a very bright, out-of-the-box thinker.

I have asked her over the years if she thought she should be screened for autism and she's always insisted that she's not negatively affected and doesn't feel like she needs or wants a diagnosis.

I mentioned this in another forum in reply to someone else saying their therapist had told them the same thing, and the response was shockingly negative. People were accusing me of being a horrible parent for not forcing the issue and insisting that my daughter will certainly come to ruination because I didn't accost this awful, inept quack of a therapist and demand that she be diagnosed with autism. My daughter is a fully grown, self-sufficient, independent adult who I am confident is aware of her own needs and mental state and would come to me if she was struggling in any way. She has always known I am a safe person to confide in about literally anything.

To me the existence of such a thing makes perfect sense. There is a huge spectrum of severity to which people can be affected by autism, so why would there not also be a gray area where someone can exhibit some of the traits, but not to the extent that they have much impact on their life? It seems like this is just common sense.

I am baffled that so many people clearly have such a problem with this. If my kid wanted to go get screened for autism I would totally be behind her all the way, but she doesn't think she has it, and it's her life. Is there some kind of scandal around "BAP" that I am unaware of? What is this sub's general opinion of the idea?

ETA: BAP is not a diagnosis btw. It's just a descriptive term for having subclinical autistic tendencies.

And then when you lash out and tear them a new asshole, they act shocked and completely horrified, like somehow they're the victim?

This has happened to me repeatedly and I wish I knew what it was about me that made them target me over other people. I am actually NOT an easy mark, I don't take any level of shit from anyone whatsoever, probably due to being bullied growing up. I have absolutely no problem shouting somebody down or even getting physical if they start shit, but for some reason these idiots always choose me to mess with over anyone else around. Is it just because I am quiet? Or are they able to sense that I'm autistic and think that means I'm a wimp?

He's been with my company a couple months, he was brought on mainly to do inventory and ordering. It is a small company and I am the owner.

There have been some weird instances where I believe he was trying to hurt me physically, as well as just generally being a bully. It's very weird. I have never had any kind of words with the guy to where I would think he had any reason to have a problem with me. I barely deal with him but I have always been polite and just treated him like a decent human being.

When I first encountered him, I offered to help him break down a pallet that had just come in, and he climbed a step ladder and tossed a heavy box of parts down at me with no warning.

We have these rolling racks and a few weeks later, I had pulled one out and went in between trying to find something, and I heard someone come in so I said "hey I'm back here". It was him and he had to have heard me, my voice echoed through the whole room. He walked straight over to the rack I had pulled out and shoved it back in hard. I have an old neck injury and he slammed it into me so hard my neck and my whole left side was fucked up for a couple weeks after. He acted apologetic but it seemed fake.

He will often walk by and not acknowledge me when I greet him. I don't expect everyone to seem thrilled to see me every time but everyone else will at least give a head nod or something. He pretends not to see me at all. He has let the door shut in my face several times, then acts like he didn't know I was there when I was literally right behind him. In these instances I haven't even said anything, I just caught the door and he turns around and does this fake act of being like "oh noo! I didn't see you, sorry" but again, it's very put on and fake. Another time, I walked past him and after we passed, he grabbed his crotch very dramatically and noticeably, like someone would do to be offensive.

Today, I discovered a really bad cluttered area in the storage shed, someone had taken a long, heavy box and basically tossed it haphazardly up on top of a wonky pile of other boxes on a high shelf, it was a landslide (and workman's comp claim) waiting to happen. I went around to the back of it to try to start carefully pulling everything down to stack it properly and this guy comes in pushing a dolly. I LOUDLY said "Hey don't touch anything, I'm back here!" And I swear to god he purposely took the dolly and rammed it hard into the other side of the rack with the pile of boxes. Of course they all fell on me, luckily I dodged the really big heavy one but I still got hailed on by dozens of boxes full of metal parts and it hurt.

He comes around the back with this snarky smile and goes, "gee, who put all that up there?" (spoiler: it was almost certainly him)

I was angry because I just got beaned with a landslide of boxes and I said "some lazy asshole, that shit hurt" and then he again apologized in a very sarcastic way, like he was having trouble staying serious.

Then, I go into the back a few hours later, and I hear him laughing and talking to another employee and he says "yeah, I warned him, he just stood there like an idiot!"

I am 99% sure he was trying to relay what happened in the shed in a way that made it look like I brought it on myself. I didn't say anything but I purposely walked right past them and sure as shit, he shut right up and looked guilty as fuck when he saw me.

So am I nuts, or does it sound like this guy is legit trying to bully his boss? I've had employees with rotten attitudes, but I have never been outright bullied by a subordinate to where they're attempting to physically hurt me. It seems completely crazy. I'm going to have to bring it up with his direct supervisor and I don't even know what to say. I'm ashamed about it. I don't think I've had someone physically bully me since middle school.

They will often even make posts complaining about the trolls, but leave their comments up. It seems to me if there was a trend toward blocking anyone who was clearly just there to stir the shit, those people would eventually find other things to do.

Common examples:

The people who always appear on pet videos to claim that literally ANYTHING the owner is doing is some form of heinous abuse. The similar people on any video of a child or baby. Those who follow the accounts of people on the opposite side of the political spectrum just to harass them and their other followers. People who specifically go on meat related recipe videos to call meat eaters murderers, and the ones who troll vegetarian video comment sections to talk about how they love killing animals. Etc etc etc, forever and ever...

First I want to make it extremely clear that I love both of my kids unconditionally and appreciate that they want to spend time with me.

I am a divorced dad of 2 girls. My younger child (23f) has started visiting almost daily. She usually arrives just as I'm getting home from work and hangs out until 8/9 at night. In case it matters, she is still taking classes and has a part time job, she shares an apartment with 2 friends.

I'm glad she wants to hang out with boring old Dad but it is starting to drive me a little nuts. She seems to want me to be engaging with her/doing things for her the entire time she's here. I work a very demanding, physical job and when I get home from work I need time to unwind. She is constantly asking for things - she wants dinner, but not anything I have on hand. So I wind up having to order out. She wants something to drink but claims she can't find whatever it is so I have to come help her. She's looking for a channel on the TV but needs help, etc. etc. etc. She will sit down in one room of the house and then call out for me every couple of minutes, so I can't do anything but be right next to her. I have a bunch of hobby projects I work on to relax and she won't just come into my hobby room and talk, she sits on the couch and shouts "Dad!" every 5 minutes. I have asked her to come in there and she won't, she says she likes the couch. Tonight she said she needed a shower then called for me and asked me to sit there and talk to her while she was in the shower. I didn't do it because it made me uncomfortable, and she guilt tripped me over it.

If it was anyone but my kid I would have told them that they're overwhelming me and I don't want to hang out with them so much, but she is my kid, she obviously needs attention or interaction or reassurance or something. Her mother and I divorced several years ago and neither of my kids are very close with her now (she cheated and currently lives with her affair partner, and they don't approve of what she did, and both dislike the guy). I believe that once you're a parent, you're always a parent if your kids need you then you should be there for them.

How should I talk to her about this. I have Aspergers, because of that I need more down time than most people in order to function. She has ADHD and is a whirlwind of constant talking and activity, and I think that is at least part of the problem. Her sister comes over too and I forget she's even here because she's so chill and unobtrusive. But I don't want to compare them. I don't want to drive her away or upset her. What do I say to make her understand that she's a bit too much for me sometimes, but I still love her and want to spend time with her?

It's not even just here on Reddit. How can people in general be so idiotic that they think someone who doesn't have the condition at all would have the most accurate explanation for anything about us? I just came across a FB post asking autistic people why they often love trains. I answered as an actual autistic railfan and got laughing emojis, while the most popular comment was someone who admitted they weren't autistic, but had guessed it was "the ability to organize the various parts into specific categories". I have seen almost the exact same shit here repeatedly.

I can't get over how fucking STUPID people are, and it drives me nuts. I just don't understand how anyone could think that anyone without autism could possibly be correct. It's literally them just making a random guess. WTFFFFF