u/dissenting_cat

As someone who’s lived in small towns and cities as well as massive megacities, one thing I’ve noticed is that country people are more direct and forthcoming with their thoughts and opinions.

In the big city, people don’t seem to step up and tell you if you’re doing or saying something that offends them or makes them feel uncomfortable. Whereas back home in the country, I’ll know right away. City people tend to focus more on subtle social cues and filter their thoughts and language as not to “offend”, or even distance themselves without telling me what’s wrong.

As someone with Asperger’s, I find it much easier to make and maintain friendships in a small regional city as I’m constantly being told when I’ve stepped out of line or said something uncouth.

Yes, another post whinging about being single.

I’ve just hit 30 and have been single for an entire decade at this point. For the first nine years I wasn’t bothered and instead invested my energy into my career, my finances, my body, my health, and recovering from my childhood trauma. I never wanted to get married and have children but now I’ve done a complete 180 on this. And on top of this, I’ve been living in a small regional city of 50k where the ‘options’ are essentially zero.

But one thing that’s really hit me lately is the fact that I’m paying the ‘singles tax’: not having anyone to share rent or mortgage with, not having a partner to travel with, and not being able to build wealth with someone special. I just want a beautiful home, two children, to be surrounded by friends and family, and to be working towards a common goal and lifestyle (Financial Independence, Retire Early [FIRE]).

I’m envious of my friends that are already on this path.

Three weeks ago I started my strict weight loss cutting journey. I’m already down 6.6kg (14.5lbs). For the first two and a half weeks I’ve been fine but from the end of last week I’ve been feeling unstable and low. I can feel the start of a fight against having a public manic episode on social media (my usual go-to).

For anyone else that has gone as hard and as fast, did you have to pull back? And if so, when did you decide it was the right time?

How far into dating someone should you wait before you disclose your diagnosis to them? I've been seeing a pharmacist for three months. His job makes me feel a lot more secure disclosing my diagnosis. I'm still unsure about when and how to have this discussion with him.

I’ve recently been approved for funding through JobAccess. I’m using it for neuroinclusive coaching with a professional contact that now runs their own coaching, training and workplace consultancy.

We discuss how I can be more active and effective in the workplace (as I’m naturally introverted) so that I can be noticed by management and executives. We also discuss career planning, how to manage my workload and how to generally just be successful in my role. Just having someone that is on the Autism spectrum, has had a fantastic career, understands my issues and concerns, and is backing me for success in my professional career has been a massive confidence boost.

You can apply for this funding if you have an Autism or Asperger’s diagnosis. You can use it for skills development, getting help with applying for roles (resume, cover letters, etc) or if you’re currently employed.

The application was very quick and simple. I had to be endorsed by my employer to receive the funding but it was processed very quickly.