u/Ok_Spare414

Many people post about wanting to move but they don't get practical advice. And if they do it is vague and generic. Even though many members here are living on their own, especially older ones. Some are very successful too and thriving. It could be a better place if people shared resources about jobs, studies and housing depending on the area. I get that it's rightfully more of a venting subreddit, maybe an automod tool could help with giving practical resources.

I am autistic and I have "parents" who have wanted to lock me in a mental ward and they are cruel to me. I have a boyfriend as well for a couple years, I had a part time job and moved with roommates while dating this guy. He kept diminishing my job cause it was part time and he deemed it not a real job or not as fancy. And also the fact that I lived with roommates and rented small rooms. 2 months after me moving out and needing his emotional support, he wanted to start dating a girl that came in his job. He was ghosting me and then after a while he decided to stay out of pity.

I ended up feeling low, I quit my job and moved back to my parents. I went back to the abuse, my parents even involved the police to put me in a mental ward. I'm very quiet and don't bother anyone. They wouldn't buy groceries for me and I had many deficiencies. Now I have another job, it is full time and remote. I buy takeout everyday cause they are retired and stay in the kitchen most of the day.

I don't want to rent with roommates cause of the lack of privacy. But it sucks with my parents cause they treat me like that. I can also rent rural but I will need to raise for the tickets and Airbnb stay. They also say that my jobs aren't real jobs just like that guy says so. We still text with that guy though I bet he will find someone else. His friend moved back from college and now they're partying while I'm in this situation. He texts me to catch up, though he often belittles me and makes fun of me.

I am autistic and I have "parents" who have wanted to lock me in a mental ward and they are cruel to me. I have a boyfriend as well for a couple years, I had a part time job and moved with roommates while dating this guy. He kept diminishing my job cause it was part time and he deemed it not a real job or not as fancy. And also the fact that I lived with roommates and rented small rooms. 2 months after me moving out and needing his emotional support, he wanted to start dating a popular girl that came in his job. He was ghosting me and then after a while he decided to stay out of pity.

I ended up feeling low, I quit my job and moved back to my parents. I went back to the abuse, my parents even involved the police to put me in a mental ward. I'm very quiet and don't bother anyone. They wouldn't buy groceries for me and I had many deficiencies. Now I have another job, it is full time and remote. I buy takeout everyday cause they are retired and stay in the kitchen most of the day.

I don't want to rent with roommates cause of the lack of privacy. But it sucks with my parents cause they treat me like that. I can also rent rural but I will need to raise for the tickets and Airbnb stay. They also say that my jobs aren't real jobs just like that guy says so. We still text with that guy though I bet he will find someone else. His friend moved back from college and now they're partying while I'm in this situation. He texts me to catch up, though he often belittles me and makes fun of me.

I am autistic and I've been seeing someone for a few years. He was popular in school. I told him I was bullied on the other hand and he thought that people likely assume I'm weird.

I have "parents" who have wanted to lock me in a mental ward and they are cruel to me. I had a part time job and moved with roommates while dating this guy. He kept diminishing my job cause it was part time and he deemed it not a real job or not as fancy. And also the fact that I lived with roommates and rented small rooms. 2 months after me moving out and needing his emotional support, he wanted to start dating a popular girl that came in his job. He was ghosting me and then after a while he decided to stay out of pity.

I ended up feeling low, I quit my job and moved back to my parents. I went back to the abuse, my parents even involved the police to put me in a mental ward. I'm very quiet and don't bother anyone. They wouldn't buy groceries for me and I had many deficiencies. Now I have another job, it is full time and remote. I don't want to rent with roommates cause of the lack of privacy. But it sucks with my parents cause they treat me like that. I can also rent rural but I will need to raise for the tickets and Airbnb stay. They also say that my jobs aren't real jobs just like that guy says so. We still text with that guy though I bet he will find someone else. His friend moved back from college and now they're partying while I'm in this situation. He texts me to catch up, though he often belittles me and makes fun of me.

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I applied for a job where I will work in a language that I have been learning for about 3 years.

I needed to take a test first and I really struggled cause at some point they have questions about complex grammar. A recruiter company made by 1 person is my mediator. If I don't pass the test I will not get an interview. Idk what to do. It is timed and I am very slow so I run out. Then I close the tab and enter the test link again. They likely can't see it yet cause I haven't completed it. But the person from the company who will interview it may likely see it idk. Unless they only get notifications for the completed tests.

The job will require me to mainly write some casual stuff but also speak a few times. My manager will be native. I have a job already and it is flexible cause I'm a contractor and I have a lot of flexibility in when I work. It is full time as well but I am disabled and I want to move out from my relatives cause they're mean and inconsiderate, so a second job would help.

Idk what to do now. Should I continue the test and I guess just fail it. Should I reach out to the recruiter and tell her I won't continue. Maybe that I have another job offer I have accepted idk I think this is what the candidates who won't continue usually say. Should I retake the test from the start.

This local company is very nice and I don't want to leave a bad impression.

I applied for a job where I will work in a language that I have been learning for about 3 years.

I needed to take a test first and I really struggled cause at some point they have questions about complex grammar. A recruiter company made by 1 person is my mediator. If I don't pass the test I will not get an interview. Idk what to do. It is timed and I am very slow so I run out. Then I close the tab and enter the test link again. They likely can't see it yet cause I haven't completed it. But the person from the company who will interview it may likely see it idk. Unless they only get notifications for the completed tests.

The job will require me to mainly write some casual stuff but also speak a few times. My manager will be native. I have a job already and it is flexible cause I'm a contractor and I have a lot of flexibility in when I work. It is full time as well but I am disabled and I want to move out from my relatives cause they're mean and inconsiderate, so a second job would help.

Idk what to do now. Should I continue the test and I guess just fail it. Should I reach out to the recruiter and tell her I won't continue. Maybe that I have another job offer I have accepted idk I think this is what the candidates who won't continue usually say. Should I retake the test from the start.

This local company is very nice and I don't want to leave a bad impression.

In a sense that if I have a flaw they always make sure to point it out. Or they see me as less attractive than I am and call me ugly.

While they may have other people in their lives who are unattractive for society's standards but they would never do that.

Though this happens with people in non romantic situations too a lot.

I wear random clothes and I shop random stuff that end up not fitting my body type. I see it looking good on the model image but it looks quite different on me. Especially shirts cause I have a wide ribcage and larger shoulders.

I have seen some women of all ages when I was abroad in specific countries wear white shirts, light jeans/shorts and white sneakers or sport shoes. I even saw a whole group of friends wearing this. Also sometimes black belt, I think the metal of the belt is preferred to be grey or black for neutrality.

But yeah it makes them look nice and polished. In my area it is not as common but I think it is a universal fit. I used to have acne and I felt like the white made it look obvious, now my skin is a bit better. My teeth need some whitening too. Maybe I can wear the same combo but with black shirts. I like them a lot though they annoy me cause they pick up every dust or hair, I have cats and they have white parts in their fur or orange. Navy blue could be better.

The title is the question basically yeah.

Many times these expensive clothes are manufactured in the same factories as other affordable clothes. And the working conditions are bad, especially since many mainstream companies choose to base the manufacturing in developing countries where they can exploit them and even allow child labor.

If you see documentaries, the process takes place in the same building and different sections are for each brand, there aren't even walls dividing them. And one brand sells the clothes for 5.99 while the other for 80 bucks. The workers get paid the same and the materials are often not as high quality as people think. So people just pay money for the brand logo to show off that they are wealthy enough to buy it.

Though there are some affordable brands that are still seen as brand-y or good enough and people aren't shy to show that they bought things from there, at least for women, but the other more expensive ones are definitely more respected.

Although yeah some brands are collectively considered cheap and tacky. Those that are not well known don't get preferred either. I buy from a locally made store and their prices are decent, the materials are 100% natural or close to 100%. The staff creates the clothes so they don't have big bulks. I am gen Z, I feel like if some peer sees the clothe tag they'll think it's an irrelevant store. I have an older relative whose job involves keeping customers and she always cares a lot about wearing expensive brands to impress people.

I see on Reddit that someone will write a post, usually vent or try to open a discussion. Then many people will reply and take into account the context.

A few people will try to be passive aggressive or mean in a way that isn't extreme. They will also take the post very out of context, in a way that it is hard to doubt that it got out of context. Then many people will go and upvote this to oblivion .

So this comment may become the first one in upvotes or second one, with the first being an actually good reply. It happens here in this sub a lot too.

I had seen someone talking about something similar but about offline situations and someone explained in social hierarchy instincts, saying how an ape is just minding his own business when another walks up to him and out of nowhere starts shit with him. There's a big chance that the other apes will pile on the ape defending himself with attacks and that the alpha male will give him a piece of his mind as well. This behaviour has remained with humans. It's the tribal composition and the social hierarchy that rules.

I have always been very anxious about socialising and my whole life revolved around it and I'd get sad when it didn't go well. I have always had many nice interests though and I also take care of stray animals. I like music, some science and foreign languages. Growing up I was compared a ton to NT people and many of them would do jobs that had to do with keeping clients. So I felt that I'd have to impress as many people as possible and that my future by default would depend on that. But I realized that there are many types of jobs. And that I don't need to be liked by as many people as possible to survive in this world.

Also other people's opinions or interactions don't matter cause I don't make money through them. Being 25 led me to realise this. I also watch YouTubers who give life advice and I realized that in adulthood people limit their social interactions especially when they have a family or are at those ages where people are about to start having families. And then making money matters the most. Like if I am being treated rudely by some customer service it will stress me out and remind me that I'm autistic. But it won't bother me as much as teenager me. Just like one of the YouTubers I watch a lot like to say, if someone doesn't benefit me financially then I don't care about their opinions.

I have a new coworker and she's annoying yet the managers liked her a lot. She is social and chatty. She isn't tech savvy and they do 1 on 1 training sessions with her. This is rare cause new workers are trained in teams and maximum 3 sessions. Whether they struggle or not.

Also I mask and I am careful of what I say or do to avoid criticism but anything she does is okay. In the work group chat she emoji reacts to every message when someone talks to her. We do this sometimes to show that we read the message. It is written in the rule manual too. Although she likely thought that we do it to every single message. We are also non native in English and her grammar is not good.

Moreover she acts petty and competitive with me, we share the same projects. One time she boasted to the manager that she'll do most of it. In the end I completed the 80%. Then she tried to take credit for the project finishing fast.

I vented about it in 2 other autism subreddits and within 10 minutes of posting I had many telling me that I'm judgemental, jealous, that I should be glad someone who's struggling is trained more etc... Though a few other replies were helpful.

Our managers usually have a few social people they prefer. One person was barely working and always socializing around. Eventually she got promoted to manager assistant. It's unfair.

I work remotely, we do 40 hours a week and formally we are supposed to do 8 project tasks per hour. The thing is I see from the team chat and the progress sheet that many people start working at like 7 am and they do so many tasks and so fast. They get errors often and I don't. We are supposed to start work at 9 or 10 am cause that's when the management start their shift.

Those people who overwork do like 1000 to 1500 tasks per week from what I have seen in the progress reports and it's like the triple of what's required.

I work slowly but I still do the required tasks or slightly more but nothing extreme. We tend to finish projects quite rapidly while the deadlines are far ahead. I am then kinda expected to work as fast as those people. When those people finish then the manager repeatedly checks up on us who work less quickly, although we are weeks or months before the deadline. I get paid the same as someone doing the double so I don't see why I should be so quick. I have ADHD along with Asperger's.

And furthermore many quit, like at least 10 individuals since the beginning of the year. We are about 100 people overall. Half workers have my pace and the other half overworks.

I got invited to an interview for a customer support job. I don't think I will take it but yeah. They have chat and phone calls... Rip

I'm already working another job and it is full time, sometimes I do overtime and I prefer it much more but it is freelance and the salary from when I work 40h/week is not enough. I don't always have enough workload to do overtime, especially now that they hired another person to share tasks. I have to pay contributions as a freelancer so it's hard.

I don't plan on leaving it, I will do both jobs cause both are remote. But if I have to leave one I will likely choose the customer support

I live with ableist parents and really want to move out or at least raise money

I have been with a ND guy for 3 years. 1 year close and almost 2 distance. Distance cause I was living on my own but I moved back with my parents and quit my job cause they convinced me to. They're very mean. I want to move there again at some point. Job wise I have somewhat of a way.

When I was living close at some point I got very depressed due to family stuff and he felt triggered. He has been a bit distant since and the honeymoon faded after that moment but we carried on. Also he tries a lot to fit in and he pressures me to try too sometimes.

I'm scared that he will date someone else cause of this long distance. He wanted to hang out with a girl at some point in our relationship when I was living close. I never confronted him but he ended up deciding not to hang out with her. I fought with him recently about it and about my insecurity that he'll find someone cause I'm stuck with my parents now and he's the only person I've got. I started telling him that I had options to hang out with guys too around the time he wanted with the girl. Also we broke up for 3 months when we have been in long distance. I told him I dated a guy. I didn't specify that it was during our time apart and that it was also only online, I never met that guy irl

We made up quickly. We talk and he initiates but he is not as talkative... Idk how to approach this. He clearly has resentment or some similar feelings. Idk how to talk about it, I don't want to send him a long paragraph or have uncomfortable conversations. He's going out with his friends and having fun, I don't want to remind him that I'm some party ruiner in comparison. He's chronically unemployed and anxious too. Thank you xx

I have been with a ND guy for 3 years. 1 year close and almost 2 distance. Distance cause I was living on my own but I moved back with my parents and quit my job cause they convinced me to. They're very mean. I want to move there again at some point. Job wise I have somewhat of a way.

When I was living close at some point I got very depressed due to family stuff and he felt triggered. He has been a bit distant since and the honeymoon faded after that moment but we carried on. Also he tries a lot to fit in and he pressures me to try too sometimes.

I'm scared that he will date someone else cause of this long distance. He wanted to hang out with a girl at some point in our relationship when I was living close. I never confronted him but he ended up deciding not to hang out with her. I fought with him recently about it and about my insecurity that he'll find someone cause I'm stuck with my parents now and he's the only person I've got. I started telling him that I had options to hang out with guys too around the time he wanted with the girl. Also we broke up for 3 months when we have been in long distance. I told him I dated a guy. I didn't specify that it was during our time apart and that it was also only online, I never met that guy irl

We made up quickly. We talk and he initiates but he is not as talkative... Idk how to approach this. He clearly has resentment or some similar feelings. Idk how to talk about it, I don't want to send him a long paragraph or have uncomfortable conversations. He's going out with his friends and having fun, I don't want to remind him that I'm some party ruiner in comparison. He's chronically unemployed and anxious too. Thank you xx

Okay first things first, imagine reading this title in a heavy southern accent lol. Hope this cracks the negativity.

I just remember how I was undiagnosed and much younger without understanding the world. The way I approached so many things was just wrong and I would face so many social rejections. People played games, bullied me or ignored me. I cared too much and I thought I was below everyone cause they had social skills.

I ache for myself and honestly if someone doesn't know the ways of this world I can say it can be a dangerous territory cause of the predatory people and bullies out there. I hadn't connected the dots on how things are.

I grow quite often and realise my past socialization mistakes and how much I suffered due to them while they're petty and small things but this world doesn't really forgive things like these. Many people would make sure to treat me badly. It's not my fault, in a better world this wouldn't happen cause my mistakes were harmless compared to what other people do (like factory owners polluting the environment). However I get anxious cause I still just exist in a universe where I will get much more hate than people like from that example.

I work overtimes and I don't have the concentration or the time needed to regularly write lists or paragraphs at home for the therapy sessions.

It stressed me out and I didn''t find it helpful practically too in order to deal with my ADHD or other concerns.

I personally prefer to talk about things freestyle and the therapist can give me insight or coping mechanisms. Through trying out different therapists I saw that this is what I find helpful and relieving. I don't fully enjoy working with structured methods.

I wonder how you feel about different types of therapy as well

It's hard to find someone. The thing is that most therapists provide structured and weekly therapy.

Ideally I want someone who doesn't provide a structured method, like anything with homework or CBT. I have AuDHD and I find it uneasy. And I work overtimes so it's hard to complete anything I have to write outside the sessions. I prefer more freestyle therapy.

And due to high costs I can't afford weekly or biweekly therapy. The last option is better but still a bit pricey. I have ableist parents and they don't help me with anything. I buy groceries and anything I need on my own. I have to purchase expensive tech things for my work too sometimes. Plus I don't like talking about past trauma so often. Many times I had a good week and it would get disrupted by random bad stuff we talked about in therapy.

I would prefer to see them weekly or biweekly during times where I'm in distress and then catch up when it happens again. And book any in between sessions for smaller concerns I may have.

So I mainly seek freestyle discussions based on emotional support and . It's a bit hard to find especially in a smaller pool of therapists who can be supportive to neurodivergent people.