r/TalkTherapy

My son is 17 and has been seeing a therapist for about 3 years. He frequently discusses his friend group - one friend in particular that he has had many issues with. This particualr friend has just started seeing the same therapist. I am wondering if this is a conflict of interest? Please let me know your thoughts.

I went to my doctor yesterday for a regular SSRI checkup. He recommended therapy, but I didn’t tell him about my previous experience. He’s moving anyway, but I wanted an outside opinion of this. It happened a while back but like within the last 6 months so recent. I had a therapist who had no experience in psychology, was a teacher before, had a degree in education. She got pretty weirdly attached to the idea of me taking art lessons and having a minimum of 3 friends. Then I told her about having autism and a negative experience I had with an autistic peer in middle school which contributed to my PTSD. And then she proceeded to get weirdly attached to the idea that I needed autistic friends. I told her I dont relate to other autistic people well and my sister has a bf who is on the spectrum as well as his siblings. Then she proceeded to get the idea that I HAD to have something in common with them. I finally just left and this kinda turned me off of therapy for a while.

Any opinions of this is welcome.

We love her tho but i feel like she’s not always all there during our sessions.

And she’s always chronically 15 minutes late.

Or she’s simply just entertained by our sessions because her advice is contradictory at times.

Idk been thinking about getting a second opinion.

Instead, it feels like someone opened a closet I’ve been leaning against for years and now everything is falling out at once.

I’m not saying therapy is bad. My therapist is kind and I do feel safe with them, which is probably part of the problem. I’m not used to being listened to without having to perform, explain myself perfectly, or make my feelings more convenient for someone else.

But lately I leave sessions feeling raw in a way I don’t really know what to do with. Sometimes nothing dramatic even happens. My therapist will say something simple like, “That sounds really lonely,” and for some reason that hits harder than any big breakthrough. I’ll be fine in the room, and then later I’m sitting in my car or making dinner and suddenly I feel like I got emotionally drop-kicked by one normal sentence.

It’s confusing because part of me is grateful. Another part of me is irritated that therapy is making me more aware of how much I’ve been carrying. I think I expected healing to feel cleaner than this. More like progress, less like walking around with emotional bruises.

Has anyone else felt like therapy made them more sensitive before it helped them feel better? Is this just part of the process, or is it something I should bring up more directly with my therapist?

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soooo my college friend was diagnosed in childhood. i have always been the weird outcast kid and we bonded over books and she noticed many of my traits were like hers. forgetting things again and again, short attention span, low dopamine levels, inability to concentrate or function normally. she told me i might have adhd too. took a few tests but no doctors cuz i was poor. still am but that's besides the point. for the past few years i learnt more about it and how to manage my emotions and to deal with living on adhd. so many of my quirks and faults and thinking made so much sense. but recently, i got new job that offered therapy by licensed counsellors. the first therapist was amazing but she left soon. the current therapist i have made a huge revelation that kinda shattered my world. she says i don't actually have adhd but it's trauma response. apparently my childhood was so traumatic that i developed certain quirks and coping mechanisms that mimic symptoms of adhd. now i am... kind of lost. i don't know what to believe or how to deal with this. i've asked for a recommend psychiatrist's contact so i can get properly diagnosed but she hasn't been able to get to that.

trauma response. i don't know what to think or believe and now i'm clueless. when i thought i had adhd i felt a sense of belonging cuz i knew why i was the way i was and i knew people felt the same way. i'm alone again.

Let me start by saying my current therapist is wonderful. The work we’re doing is important to me and I feel very supported and cared for. She is always available, flexible and respectful. As I am to her.

I see her twice a week at this point. Most of what we’re doing is parts work with EMDR for childhood sexual trauma.

To keep this short, when I have big things coming up in life or when I’m anxious, my t ALWAYS says “text me if you need anything this week!”

I’m returning to work Tuesday after a 6 month paternity leave. I’m not in a good spot. I saw her only Monday this week. She told me a few times at the end, text me if you need me this weekend!

We both know I crave reassurance from her. Therapy was the only place I got that for a while, so I really TRY not to lean on her any extra. Aka text outside of sessions. I’m trying to reassure myself.

Well I think I’m going to need her. The thing is… I want to reach out for comfort and reassurance, but I don’t know how…

As in, I won’t be asking a question or presenting new information…. Just “hey you said to text you if I needed you, I’m super anxious right now”

Like what else can I say or do? Should I not reach out? Sometimes she low key will say “you should have texted me” when I tell her I was considering it but didn’t

I don’t know. I think I’m in my head about work right now and can’t get separation.

Where to find a male therapist to help with navigating heterosexual relationships? I’m a 31 yo F, help. I haven’t tried female therapists, but really think I could benefit from a male perspective

Edit/Update: I do understand why she recommended a higher level of care. While I do understand, I’m still honestly sad and discouraged and I think I needed to vent a little… though this probably wasn’t the right place, but I appreciate everyone’s insight. I will be able to look at inpatient seriously in the fall, my husband’s financial situation will be 100% different then and I will be able to take some time off. In the meantime, I don’t want to give up on treatment completely because it is some months away, but it may be best for now.

I finally found one that I felt I had connected with. Opened up about A LOT of things I had never confronted before. Been going consistently for a number of weeks. I have fairly severe GI disorders but also disordered eating as a consequence of having poor coping mechanisms. My weight is low and my BMI is low, but I have been ‘stable’ for over two years. Finding an outpatient program that will take me has proven to be impossible. I CAN NOT TAKE TIME OFF WORK. I am the SOLE income for my family since November and even prior to that, my income pays the majority of the bills. It’s not always going to be like this, but this is the situation and if I go inpatient, my daughter and husband will be FUCKED. My low weight isn’t even solely BECAUSE of the ‘disordered’ eating anyways, so that’s not even 100% of the issue. Anyways, my therapist claims I did not tell her my weight in the intake and said I was 130 lbs. I would never have lied. So she made me go get clearance from my pcp to do outpatient therapy and my pcp said no way, she agrees I should be inpatient. In the meantime, I missed two sessions without communication because I was sick and stressed because I found out my mom might have lung cancer and when I get stressed, I avoid things and run away, so my ex-therapist messaged me and said she can’t see me anymore. Saw that message from her the morning I saw my pcp. So that’s that. I was dropped. In what world is it better for me to receive *NO treatment* for my anxiety and depression and ptsd and traumas? How do I navigate this?? This is insane. I truly can’t believe this is better for someone if they can’t go inpatient.

okay so! i recently had a session with my therapist in which i had been having some personal issues and ended up 30 minutes late to our appointed time. this has happened before, but she's always in the past been able to adjust the schedule so that we still get the full session time and all is well. i've also never been THIS late before, in the past it was like max ten minutes, usually 2-5. i'm not late so often that it's a pattern or anything, but i am probably late more than i should be (and have been trying to work on the avoidance that's rooted in!)

this time however, she didn't have enough flexibility in her schedule to adjust the session time (totally understandable! i was not upset by this at all) and so we only met for about 25 minutes and really just as a formality to avoid the no show fee. this is the first time i've had that short of a session, and also the first time i've been late while she's been taking insurance (which she only started doing a couple months ago). the problem arises in that i got the bill for the session today, and she charged me for the full session time (53 minutes and over in insurance terms). i was a little taken aback, because i had assumed i'd just get billed for the half time.

now!! the absolute last thing i want to do is seem entitled or ungrateful, as i know ultimately the situation was entirely my fault and i shouldn't necessarily have to pay less just because i was late. but i had thought that with insurance, you can only be billed for actual face-to-face time. i would just let it go and move on since the copay isn't that extreme, but money is EXTREMELY tight for me right now which she knows. like that difference in copay could make the difference between whether or not i can afford groceries this week kinda deal.

i would just talk to her about it, but i feel like that's the last thing i deserve right now and i really don't want to upset her. after all, it was me who was late and i know that can be a very frustrating pattern for therapists. i really don't want to push my luck by then asking about billing when she already gave me the grace of letting me come that late instead of just charging me the no show fee. i'm also like semi convinced that she's finally mad at me for this behavior because of the bill, like it's her way of reminding me that this relationship is still transactional and she can't just let me get away with objectively poor etiquette. in the past she's always been very reassuring and has never gotten upset with me over it and has always tried to challenge the beliefs i get about myself when i feel like i've disappointed her, but idk this just feels pointed in a way. especially because she's done things in the past like offered me extended session time free of charge when she was concerned about my safety and i couldn't afford more time.

for context for all of this also, my therapist previous to her was,,, not so great,,, and would get genuinely angry and hostile with me over pretty much everything i said and did. so now i always feel like im waiting for the shoe to drop with my current T where she turns on me and gets angry, so that may be coming through here.

anyways!! literally any advice or comment is appreciated, this has been eating me alive. thank you!!

tldr; i was late to a session and only got 25 mins, but therapist billed insurance for the full hour. do i bring it up even though it was my fault for being late?

I (21m) am in therapy for many mental illnesses and diagnosis (major depressive disorder, anxiety, chronic suicidal ideation, cptsd, asd, auditory and visual hallucinations, dissociation, anorexia and psychosis) and have been seeing my current therapist since September/October 2025.
Whenever we are talking about my cptsd, dissociation, hallucinations (mainly auditory) and paranoia, my therapist always talks about them like they are passengers on a bus and I’m a bus driver. Then she will show me a video about the bus and passengers (the videos are animated and kinda funny/cringe with very annoying background music). I understand some parts of it in a therapy sense but I still wonder the whole meaning of it.
Is it that my therapist is trying to tell me she wants to be a bus driver or is secretly a bus driver? Or does she like buses or maybe she’s a bus driving therapist?

(I’m aware this may sound very stupid but I’m seriously wondering about this. Also I’m on mobile so I’m sorry about any layout issues or typing issues!!)

I started seeing a therapist for anxiety around last September and while I honestly didn't find it that helpful, I genuinely just enjoyed chatting with my therapist. We were around the same age and had a lot of interests in common — at a certain point I felt like we talked more about, like, books and philosophy than about my personal issues. I recently had to stop seeing my therapist because he moved to another clinic that's quite far from me, but I find myself wishing we had met in a different context — I'm ready to move on from therapy for the time being, but I'm going to be deprived of enjoyable conversations with someone insightful, witty, and knowledgeable who I came to be quite fond of. Has anyone else had a similar experience?

So I want to start by saying that I’ve been seeing this therapist for over 4 years and I really do have a lot of respect for them and they’ve helped me through a lot of trauma/ hard times. I can think of multiple occasions where they’ve gone above and beyond what is required of them as my therapist to ensure I am safe and feel supported and cared for. Additionally, I’ve always thought we got along well. They aren’t one to sugarcoat things which I typically appreciate as I don’t want a therapist that’s a yes man. I don’t mind them calling me out when it’s truly necessary. However, recently they’ve made a few small comments that have really gotten under my skin.

Just over a month ago I was talking through my social anxiety and how I’ve been trying to kind of do exposure therapy for myself. I was talking about a social setting where I’m around teenagers and how I get in my head that they’re judging me (while laughing it off bc I know it’s silly bc like, why do I care what some random teens think of me?) and as I’m talking they cut me off to say “you know that’s a you problem right, not them.” The abrupt interruption, aggressive delivery, and shit eating grin really caught me off guard. Being that I was talking about how I’m trying to force myself into feeling more comfortable in social situations I thought it was a given that I know it’s a me problem, I didn’t need to be reminded in that way. This interaction left a bad taste in my mouth so I didn’t schedule an appointment for a month.

My first appointment back last week I was discussing my frustration with a family member who constantly tries to tell me it’s unhealthy to eat at night because it causes weight gain. And I argue back that that’s a myth (which is true) because the only thing that matters is calories in vs calories out, and I stay up late and don’t have a typical meal schedule. As I’m explaining this to my therapist and bring up that it’s a myth, once again they interrupt me for an “um actually ☝️🤓” moment to tell that that eating at night can cause issues with sleep and digestion. This annoyed me because I already know that and that wasn’t the point I was trying to make. I usually eat between 10-11 pm and then I don’t go to bed until like 1-3 am so I’m not concerned about my sleep or digestion. My point was I’m sick of a family member who has body image issues and tries to project them onto me, especially since I’ve made a ton of healthy lifestyle changes and I’ve lost 35 lbs since January. Idk maybe my therapist just misunderstood what I was saying, but if that’s the case then maybe they should have let me finish what I was saying before they interrupted me.

So yeah I don’t know, maybe I’m just extra sensitive rn as the past few months have honestly been the most difficult time of my life with the deaths of multiple close family members, and getting sober. But these interactions with them have me questioning if they dislike me or if I’ve done something to get on their nerves.

I’ve been going through it lately and in our last session my therapist mentioned taking a stress leave from work. Since then I’ve made an appointment with my doctor on Friday to explore the option of stress leave but now I’m freaking out. I feel like I’m overreacting and crazy and that I’m making it all up. My therapist is the only person who really knows how I’ve been feeling so I’m wondering if I should reach out for a check in call to just prepare me for the appointment. Every time I think about going to my doctors and having to “prove” I’m unwell, I break down but on the other hand I feel like a burden or a child needing their mom to help them with an appointment. I realistically do know what to say in the appointment but I’m scared I won’t be concise. Any advice would be appreciated! I’m so in my head.

EDIT: I think the question I also have is, how do you know when you are using therapy for comfort or for support? I know I CAN do this appointment without talking to my therapist before but I also do want that comfort of being prepared and speaking to her first.

My therapist wants to use ai to record and listen to sessions and have it make a summary of the discussion. I’m not really comfortable with it because I feel that part of therapy is the therapist noticing what they think is relevant/important and taking notes accordingly. Also, part of solidifying an idea comes through writing and often we learn more about what we think/feel through the writing process which I feel is all lost through having ai just write out a summary.

Also, I worry that the ai may come to conclusions, not just write an unbiased summary, and I don’t want ai involved in making conclusions about me.

The other issue is that in the agreement form it says the company that facilitates the virtual sessions has access to the transcription generated by the tool for 30 days “during which a select group of employees may access your transcript to review for accuracy” and “The session note will contain PHI from the session transcription. Aside from the content of that note, no patient PHI is retained from the transcription after approximately 30 days.”

I don’t feel comfortable with “a select group of employees” having access to and reviewing transcripts of my sessions. And it says they are reviewing for accuracy, but how? Wouldn’t they also need access to the full audio to make their assessment of accuracy?
Also, It doesn’t specify what personal health information (PHI) is contained in the notes that are being saved beyond the approximately 30 days.

My therapist sent me the form to allow the use of the ai tool and I read it over and just pressed skip. It said I didn’t have to agree bit it also didn’t have a “no thanks” button, only an “i accept” button or “skip” which just lead to the next form which was just basic name/address stuff.

Then in my session yesterday they explained that the tool very useful to them and also “they use this virtual-therapy platform so they can accept clients with insurance but they make a lot less money per session than with their out of pocket clients” and talked about how much work it is and said their out-of-pocket clients allow the ai transcription tool. It made me feel like my sessions are not worth the hassle without the ai

I want to say no but I worry they will treat me differently if I don’t agree.

Would love advice or perspective. Also if any therapists use ai for notes and want to give more detail into their experience with it that would be appreciated as well.
Thanks!

Mine didn't 2.5 years later and I want it to stop so badly it's embarrassing

I hate this group therapy because the host literally doesn’t get anyone to participate. It’s just like watching a podcast of someone very awkwardly answering their own question giving their own examples. I will say everyone in the group does not put their camera on either so it’s just very awkward. I’ve tried to ask my therapist to get out of this because I technically only was diagnosed with posttraumatic stress. I kept saying all the other people have said that they were diagnosed with borderline. It’s making me question whether she wants me to stay in this group because she’s about to tell me that I am borderline as well which is scary to me. She was so adamant though that I should stay in this group and then it was very important for me. I understand that this sort of therapy is used for other mental health issues. I just think it’s odd that everyone else has borderline

Second session with her ended early and with me getting dismissed for outbursts. Again. After the same thing happened the first session. This time I raised my fists at her multiple times and also collapsed punching the ground. As well as punching my head several times. I think this should be my cue to quit. If last session wasn’t already.

I don’t want her to be nice to me. It makes me sick. Suspicious. Ever since our first session, I’ve been having recurring dreams or nightmares about one of my old hospitalization experiences. It was… painful and terrifying. I think it’s a warning to myself. “What the hell are you doing seeking help from her, this is what people do to you when they want to “help” you“. I feel like I’m waiting for her to turn evil on me. And every time she says anything about wanting me to feel comfortable in session I snap. Because no way she really does. She wants to hurt me. But wouldn’t she be justified in doing so? With how I act towards her? Were the doctors justified in doing so when they practically assaulted me? Every mental healthcare professional is going to hurt me. But also if they did I would deserve it for being fucking crazy.

I know I should message her this. But that would be hard. Quitting would be so much easier. I’m nauseous at the thought of sending this to her. I’m scared of texting her even to schedule appointments. Why would they do this to me? Over and over and fucking over, in so many different situations and degrees of badness, until I can’t even get the help they tell me to get. But it wasn’t that bad. It’s their job. Well, you’re messed up, what did you expect. You should be glad you didn’t have to deal with 50s-style healthcare.

Quick setting, I’m an athletic guy in his early 30s who everyone looks up to as an incredibly stable individual. I am not; my relationship with food, eating, are absolute dogshit and very much an “invisible” eating disorder.

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I’ve had my “first” real felt bouts of anxiety in my adult life that I can remember after my first couple sessions. I want to “figure everything out,” and I’m so good at exerting self-control that I have no control over self-control, it rules me. Relaxation is borderline nonexistent. Food rules are externally “a good diet” and internally so rigid and cruel I have wept over a single donut. I’ll restrict subtly for months at a time then go on multi-day food benders to commit arson against the internal rigid rules system.

So when my therapist gave me my first homework of “slow down, do nothing. That IS the homework,” anxiety came crashing down, because I can’t (yet) handle a lack of resolution for questions or problems in my life.

Yesterday, queue all the standard questions about what I was afraid about related to getting to the root of why rigidity exists: am I scared of giving up my body? Gaining weight? Becoming lazier? The occasional binges themselves? The idea that people will see me change and go “whoa he wasn’t as stable as I thought he was?”

Yes, yes, yes to every question. But my therapist picked up on something at the very end before I did later in the day while doing an exercise she gave me: I didn’t leave the session with anxiety about the questions becoming true. Half of them already are; the binge cycle for me explicitly permits gaining some weight (and dropping it again), most of my sports are already side hobbies at this point, I’m already not scared of the binges, and a lot of my daily life already is lazier than 15+ hours of sports/week college me.

I left the session feeling terror. Every question I asked and expected to fear regarding change itself feels way, way too small. The change is almost fundamentally a “symptom” in my head. I’m scared of the change, but what TERRIFIES me is that the aspect of “change” feels disproportionately small compared to the size of the terror.

I don’t believe the idea of unwinding a rigid system is SO scary ONLY because I have 3-4 very very heavy binges per year. I don’t believe it’s so frightening ONLY because people will see me publicly change. It can’t be simply “you might or might not gain weight.” Every one of those, individually AND in aggregate, feels WAY too small.

It’s almost like those things are scary on the surface because they all reveal something existentially threatening to me underneath all of them. I don’t know what yet. But the fear is a step below the surface consequences.

So yeah HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY! HAVE A GREAT DAY!