u/IWillBaconSlapYou

I have a rescue pyrenees that was a stray as a puppy. I adopted him at seven months old and he's now four. He's the sweetest, cuddliest dog and loves and watches over my kids. He raised our cat from kittenhood like he was her dad (I have so many adorable photos). He never met a dog he didn't like. When guests come over to our house he's very interested in making friends once I've welcomed them in.

But he is very uncomfortable with strangers petting him on walks. He will jump backwards, then jump all over the place, barking his big booming bark. I do worry what might happen if someone pushed him way over threshold, mostly just because I had a bad experience in the past with a different dog of mine and now I have a "you never really know" perspective.

My general approach is to bring high value treats in my bag, give him verbal reassurance as we pass by people, and then reward him with the treat for being calm. If someone asks to pet him, I tell them he is uncomfortable with strangers and needs his space.

I swear it's about 60% of the time, definitely more than half, that people just go "Challenge accepted!" and start going on and on and on about how all dogs on earth just love them while pawing wildly at my poor dog. He cowers and barks and gives them all the warnings and they're just... Idiots. And selfish. And they objectify animals like validating and entertaining them specifically is a dog's only purpose in life. I don't even consider myself a particularly "omg I live and breathe dogs" person by today's standards, but this total disrespect for his boundaries just bugs the living crap out of me.

I got him a "Nervous, please give me space" cover for his leash, and some people act like I'm wildly irresponsible like I've brought a rabid grizzly bear out in public. And it's not even like that, he just doesn't like being felt up by strangers. Why don't dogs have any right to decide who touches them?

I mean Jesus Christ fuck off.

My husband won't replace appliances until they're broken beyond repair. By "beyond repair", I mean after I've lived without them for 3-4 weeks while he tries everything to fix them. I'm only saying this because I think it's relevant, but we're pretty well-off and buying a fridge once every two decades is not going to ruin our lives.

Seriously. I mean. When we got our first house, I was like... Dude, we can't fit a pizza in this freezer, look, it won't go in. He said "it's free and kind of new" which mattered at the time. Just kind of made it work. The fridge part was big enough for the two of us... Then we started off strong with our biggest eater. To this day at nine years old she could still eat a house twice a day. Then we had two more. Eventually we had to move because our house wasn't big enough. Seriously, we got a bigger house, but we won't get a bigger fridge. He had me clean the damn thing out so the movers could bring it along. Dude 😭 Why 😭

Now we've lived in this house for five years and our oldest is now an athlete and coming up on adolescence. SHE ALONE COULD NOT SURVIVE OFF THIS FRIDGE. The cutout space for it in the kitchen has a clear six extra inches on both sides and an actual foot on top.

But nOoOoOoOo!!! Why replace something that's still working? Nevermind that there's more than one way something can not be working. Nevermind that trying to run a five-person household without a fridge or a washer or a dryer or whatever broke this time IS CRAP.

Btw the washer and dryer are also 14 years old and also from the old house. The washer has a really weird smell but if I scrub it weekly and run it with cleaning pods it's kind of okay. The dryer has broken like three times but he always gets it working again (sometimes it takes over a week and I spend forever playing catch-up).

I guess what I want to know is WHY IS HE LIKE THIS???

I was raised by very insecure parents (at the time, their anxiety and depression were undiagnosed). They believed everyone hated them and they were a downer everywhere they went. Then they kind of projected this on us. They told me no one would ever be able to stand me, and if someone seemed to like me, they were just pretending because they're nice. That really messed me up for a long time. I did manage to get married and start a family, which has been wonderful, but that was about it for me until my 30s.

When my oldest child started kindergarten, I was so uncomfortable around people that I would wait way out by the flagpole at pickup. God forbid someone talked to me. I saw the circles of people and part of me wanted to join, but I was afraid and didn't know how.

By first grade I noticed my daughter was acting just like me socially, withdrawing from everything and saying she didn't want to play with other kids, so I immediately said we were each going to make a social goal each year and support each other in achieving it. This has gone really well, and at age nine she now has a best-best-BFF within an overall circle of friends she's known for years, and I'm in the group chats, I'm in the "fun parents" circle that goes out to karaoke, I'm invited to everything, I even sometimes throw a little party and everyone comes (we had the cutest holiday cookies and crafts thing last December). I have a reputation for being artistic and crafty, and I'm often pulled into projects. I also have a reputation for being good with kids (kids didn't intimidate me even at my worst level of social functioning, they're so straightforward and sweet), so now I'm a frequent volunteer at the school.

This week's social schedule so far is:

* Monday: playdate with daughter's bestie and her mom (we are also good friends)

* Wednesday: playdate with same bestie plus other good friend plus middle child's twin classmates

* Today: sudden impromptu get together at the park to ride bikes

* Friday: backyard movie for the kids at aforementioned twins' house, parent party inside

* Saturday: cookout with friends after the parade

* Sunday: opening day of a weekly multigenerational craft circle at a friend's house (I'm making a gigantic crochet orca for my middle girl's birthday in one week, so I NEED this time!!)

Next week is a whole other schedule. Next Saturday a bunch of friends are taking me out for my birthday 😭❤️ I was always secretly good at karaoke, but never sang in public. Now people know about it and always want me to go with them! I feel like I actually have the confidence to even say there are things that I'm good at.

And I never, ever, EVER stay up late going over everything I said or did wondering if I messed up somewhere! I just go hang out with people, have fun, and go home all tired and happy!

I never thought I would be this person, ever. I am so excited for all the stuff we have coming up!

These kids... NEVER. STOP. I am not kidding when I say this, today my middle girl (6, most talkative kid) started just chirping out "Flyppelhop! Werrgldorp!!!" and when I asked what she was saying, she said "I just like talking so much but there aren't enough words, so I'm making some!" (whyyy 😭). In the changing room at swim lessons my youngest (5, loudest kid) had heard a mom in the lobby reading to her baby "Goodnight, turn out the light", which I guess he thought was funny, so he repeatedly YELLED "GOOD NIGHT TURN OFF THE LIGHT GOOD NIGHT TURN OFF THE LIGHT GOOD NIGHT TURN OFF THE LIGHT" and I just felt like my brain had been thrown in the spin cycle.

Then we get home and my oldest (9, generally the easiest but also a huge troll) started playing one of her favorite games, repeating everything I say in song form. It's funny how I found that entertaining during the school year, but now it feels like my ears are bleeding.

And this is without touching on ALL. THE. INTERRUPTING!!! Oldest doesn't do it but the younger two just constantly talk over each other, over me, over their dad, over their sister, they'd talk over the freaking sun if they could. They'll ask me a question and then just start talking while I'm answering it. I made a summer resolution to work on it, but now it just feels like I'm always snapping at them because they're always interrupting.

In the car a song I liked came on and I said I wanted to listen to it. Nope, I had to have a really confusing argument with the boy instead. "Mom! What's the really tall building over there?", "Amazon.", "No, I mean THAT TALL BUILDING OVER THERE", "It's Amazon.", "NO THAT'S A INTERNET, what is the buuuuuilding!?"

It's been one week, Bromos 🏳️🏳️🏳️🏳️

Previously, on Tales of a Bromo's Summer Sex Life, I got home at 12:50 from an end of school year event, and my husband had until 1:20 to get it on. We achieved our goal, but literal seconds later were visited unannounced by a good friend I've told doesn't need to knock.

This week, we had been discussing how loud our bed was and how impossible it was going to be to sneak around over the summer. He works from home, and our sex life exists entirely between the months of September and June and the hours of 10 and 2. I came up with the idea of replacing our ~10 year old platform bed frame and putting a nice big pretty rug underneath. Win-win. I'm a major chick and I so love pretty rugs. So yesterday we had all the components and put it all together. It really is so much quieter! Just a tiny, tiny, like totally negligible little bump like someone walking sneakily on the other side of the house.

So we're getting to it tonight and I'm really impressed with myself for how quiet I can apparently be, when around 9:45 there's a little voice at the door. Nine year old, who admits she was staying up late reading in the room directly below ours, heard "an annoying sound kind of like the washing machine, but from up here."

Let me tell you, I've had concerns in the past about how quickly and convincingly I can lie in a pinch. My parents were insanely reactive and would melt down if I asked how their day was in the wrong tone, so I can lie like a fat cat in a sunbeam when the danger alarm is going off.

"Oh, well, yeah, I WAS doing laundry. In the sink. It sounds the same. I got a really bad stain."

"OHHHH. That makes sense. I'm gonna go microwave my aromatherapy mask." (This is actually totally on-brand for this child 😂 She's a major chick, too 😂). Okay, so maybe this wasn't my most elegant on the spot lie, but she's nine, so there was no need to do my best work.

For a few seconds, we're just staring at each other silently. Then we just barely hear some beeping way over in the kitchen across the house, and we start wheezing like you do when you really don't want to laugh.

*"The washing machine!"*

Well, now we have a cover story, and several minutes of additional distance have been bought by my majestic little orchid's self-care routine, so somehow we manage to resuscitate the mood and fast track things a bit. Afterward, as I'm getting dressed in the bathroom, I say in a conspicuously loud voice, "Omg, J, the stain came out! I never thought it would!"

And he says in an equally obnoxious voice, "That's great! That's my favorite dress on you!"

... As I throw on my frumpiest pajama pants with the little Snorlaxes on them.

It's going to be a really long summer, isn't it? 😅 I don't even know what the plan is for next time.

Any further soundproofing advice is totally welcome. Because I don't know how TF people ever have sex after kids.

So there was a medium-large spider in my bathroom this morning. Usually that alone is enough for me to send my husband after it, but it was way up in the highest part of the vaulted ceiling, my husband is 5'4" (and let me tell you, that lazy little shrimp will whine his ass off if I ever tell him to just get a step ladder and do something high up 🤣), and it seemed to be pretty sedentary and minding its own business, so I decided to leave it alone, assuming it would just go away.

This is really huge for me. You have no idea. I've made crazy strides on my arachnophobia. There was a time I wouldn't even be able to go inside that bathroom, even if it was the ONLY bathroom. But now I can generally pardon spiders that keep to themselves and will probably just vanish anyway. The only ones I haven't been able to coexist with are giant house spiders (they aren't very widespread, but if you know what those are, you know they do anything BUT stay still and mind their business).

So I go in there just now, and... This was not the potential violation I prepared myself for.

NOW THERE ARE TWO OF THEM.

And I wasn't born yesterday, I know WTF they're doing in there, all like two feet apart as if that makes it totally innocent.

And now my husband is asleep.

So unless I want to be a total ass, I have to lie here knowing spiders are fucking in my bathroom.

Fuck everything.

I mean, right? These people know exactly what they're doing and it's bull crap.

Honorable mention to the lady complete sprawled across a whole couch with her laptop, no shoes or socks, and her purse at the end just to make sure not one little cushion remains.

That's pretty much it. Years ago FIL said he was donating all his money to charity, and we were like okay cool. Now he's changed his mind and he's just so all over the place about it. And MIL is freaking out because she thinks they're saying she's going to die someday (I mean, I guess they are? I'm pretty sure she is?) and she thinks FIL is just trying to get at her money (she's been a housewife for four decades...)

And it's just so annoying being looped in on this. I know I should be thrilled that he's decided to leave us a metric crapload of money, but I feel like we already live comfortably and I would rather just not have the dysfunction.

And I don't really know why this year. I've made so much progress on my social anxiety this year. I actually have several plans with other families already scheduled. Ten days ago I went out with some parent friends to karaoke and stayed out all night, which is something I NEVER DO. Today, we were all in a huddle chatting and someone said "When's our next karaoke night?". We decided on a day close to two of our birthdays (including mine). So I guess I'm really part of the group now.

And there are lots of soft plans that are highly likely to happen. My daughter's best friend's parents are great. I can go snatch that child any time I want (we already have a playdate on Monday). Two parents and I have a group chat about coordinating gymnastics makeups so our daughters can hang out. One mom I'm good friends with wants us to take our girls to Wild Waves (a water park from our childhoods) because it's closing forever this year.

I was even really looking forward to slow mornings.

I don't know what's eating me. I guess school is just usually a major pillar in my life. It's what everything is structured around. And I'm really close with a lot of the kids, particularly the third graders, and we're always doing arts and crafts on the playground.

But like, the parents I really enjoy talking to are in touch.

Just. Blech. Anyone else?

My middle girl (6) has been SUPER cuddly ever since she was born. She really is the sweetest thing. She declares her love to me and her dad and her siblings and her teachers and her friends and neighbors and mail carriers and basically everyone a hundred times a day.

​

I guess I thought eventually she would grow out of the hug-maulings. I think I may have been wrong. She's so insistent, it's all the time, she starts incorporating acrobatics and trying to just toss her full weight on me without warning. She climbs on my arms and I drop whatever I'm holding. She climbs on my face and I can't see. She slides off my head and my hair gets yanked. She'll leap off my bed and throw her arms around my neck and I'll just be like OMG WHAT... Sometimes I have bruises, but more often I'm just so overwhelmed by all the hugging. It's just... Always. It's coming at me from every angle. It can be so physical and jarring and overstimulating.

​

Idk, I've had talks with her about "no running starts" and "no jumping on people" and "no surprises". I've been teaching her to ask for hugs instead of just grabbing people. "No hanging". "No climbing". I'm not a damn jungle gym omg. She's done okay at learning these boundaries, and the really *violent* hug incidents are way, way down, but sometimes it starts up again when she gets carried away.

​

Tonight we had one of those incidents. It started with "Sweetie please be gentle", then it was "Baby please you can't climb on me like that", then it was "Okay, I really need you to stop, I'm getting overwhelmed", and then finally it was "OH MY GOD GET OFF OF ME!".

​

And then she was crying 😭

​

Idk I just got so stressed out, it just came out. I mean, what a first world problem: my daughter loves me too much and hugs me all the time. But also boundaries?? I want to be able to say that it hurts and I'm dropping stuff and I'm going bald THIS IS NOT NORMAL HUGGING!

​

And all she seems to hear is "I hate how much you love me". She recovers super fast, but it's a bummer.

​

Is there anyone else here who's had this problem? Any advice? My bones are dust 🫠

It's just so awkward. She's already five feet tall. She has little boobs and wears a training bra. She uses deodorant. She wears women's clothes and shoes and has started filling out to more adult like proportions. She's worried about boys and social anxiety and how to be "cool". Meanwhile all these tiny little stick bugs are bouncing around making up dances to Taylor Swift songs and collecting and trading stickers.

​

I personally adore all the third graders (known them forever), but my daughter is starting to just not fit in. She's only nine, but she pretty much belongs in middle school at this point. She looks and acts like a kid who's been held back three times, like the 45 year old dude in a high school classroom on a sitcom.

​

She has a best friend and they can't get enough of each other. Thank God. Such a kind and level headed girl. They're pretty in sync. No drama.

​

But today there's a birthday party and my daughter was basically FUMING about it beforehand, and couldn't explain why. She was being SO EMO about this. She started punching a pillow and just glaring at everything. She responds beautifully to gentle parenting, and I promise I tried, but my usually infinite patience was drying up with all the stonewalling and "heavy sigh language", and there were only minutes left to dropoff, so I finally said "Listen to me, you will NOT ruin this sweet girl's birthday party by throwing a temper tantrum for no reason". She immediately ran downstairs and slammed her bedroom door. I gave her a few minutes and went to get her, and she had tears all over her face. She still has no clue what's bothering her so much. From personal experience being a girl and everything, I can recognize that she's just being manipulated all to hell by stupid useless hormones that want her to be upset.

​

I feel so bad for her, but also OH MY GOD I HATE THIS?? I'm so tired! Why can't I have a normal little bouncy carefree nine year old like all the other parents!?

​

Honestly, from the time she was about three months old, she's ALWAYS been enormous and advanced for her age. I remember having this exact same thought in baby music class, "Why can't I have a tiny little baby who rolls around on the floor instead of this giant velocitaptor running all over the place!?"

​

It's just hard, Bromos, I wish she could've gone through this at the same time as her friends.

​

I mean, TMI alert, but we're all grown up girls here lol.

​

I just got home from the third grade end of year picnic at 12:50. I'm really close with most of the kids and they knew they could get away with stealing my face paints and tagging me like a dark underpass. I had whiskers, a pink nose, my forehead said "Hi!", there was a giant weird flower on one cheek and a rainbow on the other, "have a great summer" was scrawled unintelligibly down my chin, there were doggies and dinosaurs and snakes all up and down my arms...

​

So I look CRAZY AS FUCK, but this is like, IT. This is our chance, and I'm not even sure when we'll get the next one. I asked my husband "How horny are you? Enough to have period sex with someone who looks like this?". I mean, duh. He takes that deal in a heartbeat. Then he goes "OH CRAP I have a phone appointment at 1:20". We stare at each other for a second, and he says "I think I can do it!". Good for you, buddy!

​

When I say it was 1:19 on the dot... Go us! He rushes to his desk for his appointment and I start running a bath to get all this paint off me. At exactly 1:20, there's a knock on the door. I'm like omg, please be Amazon please be Amazon please be Amazon... Then I hear a voice IN MY HOUSE. I'm like omg wtf?? I yell to my husband down the hall "Hurry! Put your pants on! Don't let them see!". He can't do a thing because this appointment has just started.

​

I hear a call up the stairs, "It's Emily!"

​

So I throw on my daughter's giant pink Snoopy hoodie (I'm so sorry baby, I promise I'll burn it and buy you a new one!!!) and go out there, all sweaty and out of breath, and I'm all like "Oh hey I was just getting in the bath". Thank GOD I looked like that one wall they actually put up at a skatepark. I think that really sold it. Then she says "Wanna hold the baby?" and I'm like, let me wash my hands, they're covered in... Um. POPSICLES! YEAH! POPSICLES!!!!

For the first time ever, this baby actually cried when I held him. Like he was picking up the vibe and just could not even. Btw this was the third end of year picnic I've been to in the past five days, plus Field Day, so slides of my house could literally be snuck into a montage of natural disaster footage and no one would even clock it.

​

We chatted awkwardly for ten minutes and she went home.

​

And now I would very much appreciate a swift and merciful death.

We had a unique setup growing up. Blended family, each parent brought one child, I was dad's, sis was mom's. Each of us was our bio parent's golden child. Only, dad was severely physically disabled and mostly bedridden much of my childhood, and mom was the breadwinner and mobile parent, so my sister got a ton of perks I didn't get. Mom also had the anger issues, whereas Dad had this horrible anxiety that would just drain your soul. But I always felt it would be better to just not have to deal with the anger. The older I've gotten, the more I've understood that neither of our parents had the energy to present for us, and neither of us could get what we needed most of the time.

​

For years now I've wondered if my sister is aware of that. She's never said anything about it. Sometimes she talks about our childhood like it was idyllic. I've always wondered, was her life just different? I could never suss it out.

​

Today something absolutely horrifying happened to one of our pets while my kids (9, 6 and 5) were at school. I can't even go into it. I'm so shaken up and I'll never get that image out of my head (and I feel tremendously guilty even though everyone's saying it wasn't my fault). I have to tell my kids in thirty minutes.

​

I don't remember how I started talking to my sister, but she was so kind. She said she knows I'll know how to be there emotionally for the kids. Then she said "You're there more than either of us had as kids". For a minute I didn't understand what she meant, but...

​

Oh. Our parents weren't emotionally available for us? Did she really just say that?

​

I don't know why, but feeling a connection to my sister on this level for the first time ever broke me out of my horrible spiral for a minute. The fact that she was so kind and was there for me and then said THAT.

​

I feel like I breathed a sigh of relief for her.

Yesterday at a birthday party for my kid's classmates, my daughters' friend's dads (complicated punctuation, one girl two dads) said the kids had a sitter and they were going out to karaoke with some other parents and asked if I wanted to go. It was going to start at 9pm (!?) and go until "question mark" (!!!!?). One-year-ago-me was an immediate no. Yesterday me gave a soft maybe that really meant no. They said to let them know if I changed my mind. After we got home, I couldn't stop thinking that the only reason I wasn't going was because "I don't do things like that". I'm in pajamas by seven and in bed in front of Netflix by nine. I decided to text them I was coming before I could wuss out. I figured I could just go home at ten (even though that would be omg so so late).

Guys I stayed at that bar until 1am. It was so much fun. Seven of us went and I knew all of them to varying degrees, but I made actual friends with a couple longtime acquaintances. I have a secret singing talent most people don't know about, and it was so fun crushing a rock song and having them all be surprised. One of the dads did this insanely theatrical rendition of "Poor Unfortunate Souls" that belonged on Broadway, and I had no idea he could do that. They were all so nice about the fact that I don't even know what a party is even though I could tell they do this a lot.

I crawled into bed at 1:15 am like WHO AM I? It's been a couple years now of breaking deeply ingrained habits, saying yes to things, sticking out my hand and telling people my name, putting my skills and talents front and center and building a reputation (my handmade crochet dolls and face painting abilities are treated as commodities at school!). People I don't know say they've heard positive things about me. I find myself inside the big circles of people instead of watching them uncomfortably from afar.

I was raised to believe no one would ever like me and I was better off just hiding. For years and years I thought having a husband and kids and happy home was more than I could've ever hoped for, and there could never be anything more. I can't believe how my life has transformed since I decided to move past what I was taught and put myself out there.

Granted, today is objectively really bad. It's been a lot. It was a half day at school, we went to the humane society to get a cat, there were swim lessons, I'm talked out. But I have been noticing lately that, while my nine year old has gone down to about 70% of her just absolutely needing to talk phase, my five and six year olds are both at 100%. They never stop. They're constantly talking over each other, over me, over the dog, and a lot of the time I can tell they don't even have anything to say and are just winging it so they don't have to stop. At the end of our drive home today, they were literally gasping for breath arguing over whose turn it was to talk.

I get to this point where my brain just shuts off. It's like the blue screen of death. No more information gets in and I start making dumb mistakes and forgetting what I'm doing. But the kids feel that every single thing they say requires a detailed and immediate response.

I'm just so so so stupid right now. It's like they out my brains in a blender and just kept slamming the puree button.

What do you do when this stage starts to wear on you? What boundaries do you set, how do you maintain them consistently, and how do you tell a kid "That sentence you just crammed into my skull was unnecessary garbage" without damaging them emotionally?

I don't have sound notifications on my phone except for calls, because they'd just be super disruptive (I honestly don't know how people do it), and I figure anything important will warrant a call and/or I'll see the texts in due time. I really don't want to be on my phone all the time with the kids, and since my big hobby is crochet, I often have both hands full.

We visited my aunt and Grandma today. My aunt has her eye on a rescue dog they met, and my grandma loves it but was on the fence. I convinced her to get the dog. Aunt is the one who will take care of it, the rescue is paying for the one immediate medical need, and grandma is 89 and now is the time to seize the day.

Later I was driving and my husband said he got a text from aunt that they were getting the dog. I really wanted to be like YAY, but I was driving. When we got to the park, I was playing with the kids and forgot about my phone. Then I was driving again for quite a while since we live in a different town. At home it's dinner, baths, taking care of dogs, setting up the outfits and packing the snacks for tomorrow, bedtime stories, the works. Then I finally got my blessed TV time (I'm bingeing Trying and it is so good).

I finally just picked up my phone at like 10:30pm and realized I had missed the entire family text chain and was sort of called out (aunt pointed out that I didn't answer but husband did, mom mentioned that I'm generally focused on the kids and he kind of has a phone problem). Nothing major, but I feel bad, and now it's too late to respond.

And God knows I'll forget in the morning. A constantly repeating cycle. I don't know how to feel about it. Like, I think it's a good thing to not just be glued to your phone all day long, but on the flip side, my close friend texted me that she was in labor and I found out the next morning from the Facebook birth announcement 🤦🏼‍♀️

I've never "met" her. She left when I was six months old. My dad always talked about it like she just left, just abandoned us, that no real mother would do that to her child. She broke his heart after he had done everything for her.

As an adult, I understood and processed the following facts: she was 19 when I was born, and he was 31. They had "been together" for five years. When he met her, she was homeless on the beach with her drug addicted mom and her younger siblings. She, too, was a drug addict (at 14 ☹️). Dad "saved her". He never really gave much context for what "saving her" meant. All I really ever heard about was that he had sex with her and gave her drugs (what a great guy). I guess they got an apartment together and she wasn't homeless anymore (will someone please give this man his medal?). He had impregnated her a few years prior to my birth (she must have been like 16???) and she had a very traumatic miscarriage.

Then, when I was six months old, after I don't know how long a period of constant screaming fights, she left and never came back, and I grew up feeling abandoned and was terrified that she would come take me away. I didn't want to meet her, speak to her, or God forbid live with her. Dad was extremely bitter. He would say he didn't know why he allowed himself to be treated that way, only that he had a "Sir Gallahad Complex" (what is the holdup with that fucking medal, guys!?)

But as an adult, especially now at 35 with my own kids, I just cannot. Wtf dad. That is so goddamn disgusting. Did his grown ass expect the drug addicted teen he so heroically plucked out of a life of perpetual dysfunction to just tie on the apron and start baking apple pies? Was she supposed to knit me a little sweater and join the PTA? Is she really the bad guy because none of this happened and it ended badly instead? Is *reality* the bad guy?

Dad's been gone three years now, but I knew never to broach the topic with him. The one time I tried, he had one of his patented "angry panic attacks" and told me it was none of my business (!?!?). So I didn't talk about it with anyone but my husband again until recently. I forget how the conversation led to this, but I mentioned it to my beloved grandma who's a total saint (I kind of can do no wrong in her eyes). She was gentle, but she shut it down. She said it was normal in the 90s. I felt a weird vibe like I should drop it, and I was really surprised that even she wouldn't give me a space for this. God knows my mom has said for years that dad was so good to that woman and she just broke his heart, thank God she was there to pick up the pieces, and so on and so on...

Sorry for the novel. As you can see, this occupies a fair bit of space in my head and never really gets the outlet it needs. I wish I could just tell that woman I don't blame her one bit. I wish I could say I see how all the adults in her life absolutely refused to treat her like a child.

I mean, you know what I would do if I saw a 14 year old living on the beach with a drug addict? I'd CALL SOMEONE I mean wtf was he thinking?

She had a cheap little razor at first and just loved it so much. It only lasted a couple months before it just stopped working with no explanation. By then we knew what features we really wanted, so instead of trying to fix it we spent a bit more on a hiboy S2 lite. It was so much better, seemed really sturdy, but yeah, after a couple months, it just stopped accelerating. Her dad contacted customer support and they sent a new battery. He just installed it and it didn't work. Now it's probably some loose connection we just can't find. Just can't figure it out. This is just not our wheelhouse (no pun intended).

But there's like NO ONE in our area who works on e scooters. Which is crazy because we live in the Seattle area, where everyone lives and breathes bikes, scooters, and tech. There are a couple places in Seattle proper, but A) that's actually pretty far (and a huge pain) and B) they're booked for... Ever.

So what do I do at this point? I can't just keep buying new scooters because they die every two months. Is this what scooters are like? Are we just having really bad luck? Does anyone have any advice for fixing this?

Apparently they're called Smarter Balanced Assessments and there's kind of a new format for third grade this year. That new format is apparently converting every single school day into just solid nonstop testing. This started I think in early April, maybe late March? My daughter is a good student at or above expectations in all subjects (6th grade level reading), and is always diligent about her school work, but she's *exhausted*, frustrated, just burnt out. The school year is almost over and it still doesn't seem like they're winding down. Apparently even the teachers were blindsided by just how MUCH testing it is.

Anyone else dealing with this right now? I don't remember ever having to take this many tests in a row, even during the WASL (which was not in third grade).