r/Vent

I started birth control a few days ago because it has been some time we're together, he's my first boyfriend and we've always pulled out, so i wanted to know what it felt like to be creampied. Tomorrow is the day my pill is finally in action so we had planned to do it then.

I got an invitation to go to the restaurant later in the evening for that day (tomorrow) so I happily told him that it was hot that i was going to have his cum inside me when at the restaurant with all of my friends, and suggested he chooses the panties i'll wear tomorrow. He just walked out of the room saying it doesn't matter.

Its so dumb but i feel so sad and rejected, i was happy about the idea of it and intended it as a sexy moment between us of him choosing the panties i'll be dripping his cum in but apparently it doesn't matter to him.

We don't have a dead bedroom solely because i do all the work of initiating, i feel so undiserable to him. He participates happily but before he would always initiate and make me feel sexy now nothing. I'm not even excited or happy, or even sure i want him to be my first creampie ever.

You might think this is an exaggeration, but it is not. I'm typing this on the shitter because its the only few minutes i really get at times before he comes checking on me. At first, i thought it was charming that he wanted to spend out off days together. But his job was flexible with scheduling so he made sure we have every single off day together. And he always wants me around him, even if i just want alone time because he says he dosent understand why people who love eachother need personal space. I havent had the house to myself spare a few days ive swapped with someone on the schedule in the past few weeks. Hes always breathing down my fucking neck and im just so exhausted of being around him. I love him to death but this feels borderline psychotic

This is so unfair. I’m too late. It not even the fact that we didn’t date, but it’s that I didn’t even get to confess to her. Now she’s posting lesbian songs on her instagram and I have to sit here and pretend I didn’t listen to those songs thinking about her.

She always said she was straight to me! And I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. I was so in love you guys. I’m not sure if I can ever fall in love again.

Like I genuinely feel like online discourse has reached a point where you can’t even have a completely harmless opinion about a fictional character without somebody trying to turn it into a conversation about race, gender, representation, oppression, etc.

I just saw a TikTok of someone saying that Clawdeen from Monster High should’ve been left single because they didn’t like her relationship. Multiple people commented with “let Black women have love interests” and another person said making her single plays into the “token Black girl being single and independent” trope. And a large part of the comments were people advocating for this.

This is a children’s doll franchise about “MONSTERS”.

Obviously representation in media matters, and there are absolutely legitimate conversations to have about how different groups are portrayed. But why does EVERY individual opinion about a character have to represent some larger belief about an entire demographic.

It almost feels counterproductive sometimes because instead of letting minority characters just exist as individual characters, people reduce them back down to their identity. Suddenly Clawdeen can’t just be a werewolf doll for kids; every decision involving her apparently has to make a statement about Black women as a whole.

I’m exhausted by the idea that every piece of media, every character choice, and every random fandom opinion needs to be analyzed for whether it’s socially problematic.

Like I don’t even care about this doll franchise to that extent, it was just something I used to enjoy as a kid, and I saw a tiktok on it and decided to open up the comments. It’s just frustrating I can’t even enjoy a little nostalgia about a kids franchise without someone turning it into a social battle.

Some people really can’t find someone and I’m one of them. You’ve all seen it. You have looked at someone and thought “No one wants that loser!”

Well I’m that loser.

I’ve been alone most of my life and have fully embraced the fact threat no one wants me as I’m dying alone. The fact is no one wants a guy like me. I’m a fat, bald, ugly loser in my mid 30s with no future. If you were to list all the things that make a man undatable I would check most of those boxes. I’m not going to find anyone. I just want that to be accepted. Ain’t no one wants me and I don’t blame them. I’m a massive failure.

For context, my brother is 4 years older than me and a real piece of garbage. Aggresive as hell and thinks he's a big shot, but all the while he's still a child

This all started when he was 17 and I was 14, he got his learners permit and started to drive the family car. The thing is, he thought it was an F1 car and drove it like it could handle that type of driving. After 2 or 3 years of this, naturally the car decides to give up because it's being pushed to its limits. Fine. Dad sells the car at a massive loss because of all the faults to the car. They start to suspect something but they don't really care.

He then starts drivin grandmas car, bumps it and she goes off about "Not even the king is allowed to touch her car anymore because the insurance only covers this and that", turns out my brother is some sort of royalty because the next week he starts driving her car again. I ask her, may I drive her car as well because I also now have my license, she yaps something about oh no sorry you're not on the insurance, it's too expensive all the while my brother isn't on the insurance and that's why she had to pay so much when he bumped the car the first time

Now he starts working, in the first 2-3 months he totals 1 company truck, then another one. This drives the company into the ground as they can't make anymore deliveries. He gets fired and is forced to stay home and look for work

Now let me add something, since age 18 he has been a party animal and likes to drink

At this stage he starts to party HEAVILy and goes out every night. He cusses at my mother and father and they frankly don't give 2 shits because it's "their son and they can't kick him out". Fine.

Frim when he started driving grandmas car he goes out almost every night to party and drink and drives drunk, comes home and shouts at everybody. One night he cusses at my father and I slam him against walls and shit, hes drunk as a skunk and all that. I was ready to beat his ass, but I didn't. Fine

He started working at the beginning of this year and 3 weeks ago he totalled grandmas car, this is now the 4th car that is now inopperable because of him. Now he is going to purchase his own car next week, he just got pre-approved and now he think he's well enough settled to buy a car. He isn't. He has already been fired for coming late numerous times from a previous employer 3 times.

Recently I found out he is a total creep with women. Randomly showing up at a girls house he barely knows and tells her to open the gate, she doesn't and I'm glad she didn't. She also tells me that he hit on both her and her friend while he was in a relationship. He cause that girl that he was in a relationship with to end up in a phsychiatric facility for observation. Wtf? She also tells me that he said to her: "Yeah I like to take controll of my woman".

Side rant, we bought a beat up car for second hand and after we bought it dad drove it home from the seller and all the lights went on. The car is now involved in a court case that is going no where for the past 2 years.

I'm so done

Thanks for the read

I spent my teenage years completely alone with no friends. I never went to a party, never traveled with anyone, never hung out, and never got to go on outings. Most of my time was spent stuck between the four walls of my room scrolling through the internet.

From ages 18 to 22, my situation didn't change much. While other people at that age were starting their college life, making tons of new friends, having fun, living through a loud and exciting phase, becoming almost completely independent from their parents, and really discovering who they are, I was stuck in the same place.

I ended up starting college late, after people my age had already graduated. It was a simple school with barely any events or campus life, and the same isolation from my teens just kept going.

Now I am in my mid twenties and I feel deep grief over missing out on that whole chapter of my life. How do I accept this and move on with my life?

Every time I talk to people. every time I deal with people. If someone is uncomfortable about something instead of just discussing it and talking about it like adults or frustrated about something like adults instead they'd rather just ghost you block you and hell you can be friends with someone or know someone for years and they'll do it now. I had a friend that I was friends with for five six years. And me and her started going a little more romantically. And instead of telling me hey this made me uncomfortable or hey you know I've decided that we probably wouldn't be good in a romantic aspect in anyway she just completely ghosted me. Like wow you'll just flush a friendship down the toilet we can't even have a conversation we can't be adults around here is this just the way of the world now is this how it is just everybody thinking that talking to people's too big of a issue communicating honest true feelings is too big of an issue what is this is that just how it is people will block ghosts and ignore you completely because it's easier than being an adult and going hey by the way I didn't like this hey by the way can you do this what is this

I feel like it hit me harder than a lot of celebrity deaths, which I normally don't pay much attention to. And yes, I'm aware I didn't know her at all.

But between her tragic life circumstances and everything she went through, and the fact that she was only in her 30s and had the rest of her life ahead of her. She deserved better.

I think what also hit me so hard about her death is it's a reminder that life is short and fleeting. And of course we all die eventually, but she never got a chance to live the rest of it out.

And now there are implications that her abusive ex was involved (even though the full details haven't come out yet so its just speculation). But yeah, just heartbreaking.

I come home and the house is always dirty. There are flies everywhere and everything is spoiled. theres always dishes in the sink and clothes strung acrosd the floor. im too lazy to do anything. I scroll on my phone until its time to cook or shower or go to bed. my mom scolds and scolds me but I don’t do anything. she tells me she must be failing as a parent, albeit jokingly. my sister wont clean either. she’s too sore or shes tired or she wont finish and leaves it to me. she doesn't cook much either.

i resent them. I’m always so angry. when they call for me i grit my teeth and clench up. I feel like yelling and hitting all the time. i hate it when my sister touches and tries to hug me. I feel like a bad person. I wish I had a place all to myself.

I’m thinking a lot about my younger self lately and how all I wanted to do was run around and be in the dirt and woods and how every other societal force was pushing me away from it. I don’t know. It just makes me so sad to think about all the little kids who can’t engage with what makes them happy freely

Just now I got a dinner delivery from one of the apps, and my food was dropped off by someone on one of the rentable electric bikes (ya know the green or orange ones). Food wasn't all that warm but I still had to go back and double my tip.

This isn't the first time Ive had someone renting a bike or scooter to deliver an order, that was a teenage girl on a scooter after 10pm in a city.

I was so caught off guard the first time that I thought about it for a while and the more I thought about the more grossed out I got.

Delivery drivers don't make a ton. Before expenses it averages out at anywhere from $15-$30/hr. But then you gotta factor in expenses. For renting a scooter or bike the lowest cost I could find on the apps came out to about $14/hr... Even if they're not using the scooter or bike for 25% of the time between orders that's still $11/hr... Which leaves them making $4-$19/hr.

What has this world come to?

There are people out there so desperate that teenagers are essentially sharecropping scooters and bikes for food delivery companies worth billions. And those are the "good ones", those are the people not committing crimes like selling drugs or stealing catalytic converters, these are the people actively trying to work for a living.

I'm not rich.

I'm barely getting by with just me and a couple furballs. I can't afford to help all of the people I see struggling in my daily life. I do what I can. I'm generous where I can be.

But Jesus Christ I'm tired of feeling like this. Tired of seeing so much awfulness all around us and being entirely incapable of changing it.

let me add some context 2 years ago i was supposed to have insurance and got charged for a simple physical like 500$ I didn't even have as the job I was working gave me all my insurance cards after 2 years I was supposed to have them at 6 months then cause I couldn't afford to see a proper medical pros I cant get help so I can afford to see medical people I cant even get food stamps I have 0 income and have been denied 3 times I got 3 packs of ramen and a microwave I co live with someone but he isn't feeding me I'm 26 autistic disabled and need some help. What now who do call I don't know if I will survive another 2 weeks at this point I have 0$ 0 income 0 support Ive been trying to work even tried saying I'm not disabled to get a job still hasn't helped since my last job im not asking for a hand out I still want to work its just hard to find employers who will hire me around my area a lot of able bodied people arnt employed so its even harder for someone like me to find a chance even in "disabled friendly employers" so just a nudge in the proper direction would be apricated. for those saying go to a food shelter its 40 miles away and I cant drive all got is a bike with a small storage basket so I could only take a handful of things in one trip and dont know If I could make it there in my current condition if im being honest.

I just dont know where to put this and no one ever talks about religion sucking because everyone loves religion.

I know this topic has been talked about countless times but there is absolutely 0 evidence for any religion on planet earth yet people are so willing to let the religion control their lives.

I hate the idea of hell. I think teaching kids about hell is abuse.

I genuinely dont like anything about religion. Just had to get it out

I dont get why I cant just be normal, I genuinely feel disgusted at myself because of my sexuality and I have to deal with the fact that I would lose most of my friends if I come out and I most likely will never get to experience teenage love. I would genuinely do anything to be straight and I dont get why I have to be this way.

my mom died last year on September 16th. i cant believe it's gonna be a year in a month, i seriously, unironically cannot believe it at all. Time has been so fucked up for me. Months pass and i don't process it. I want my mom back, but I'll never have her back because she's dead. And she is gone.

I miss her food so much, I'll never be able to eat it again. I make my own food now. I miss being excited to come home from school to see what she has cooked for me. Now when i think of food when im coming home, i get a bit stressed, cause i have to see what's available to cook and then make all of my meals. I miss looking forward to my meals. I miss looking forward to going home, and telling my mom about my day. I miss how much she cared about me. I never noticed it until now.

I'm really good at English. I got a really good grade a few days ago, was super excited to tell her, but then, i realized oh right shes dead. I think about how happy she would've been for me.

i have to do everything myself now. Groceries, laundry, almost everything, except like bills and stuff which my dad does. I kinda hate him. He doesn't know how to be a parent. I miss my mom. I miss her picking me up from school. I miss how she used to wake me up everyday for school, i miss her voice, i miss her so much. please i just want my mom back

I used to annoy her alot haha, i used to tell her random facts and even tho she didn't understand she'd listen. I miss doing that. No one i can do that with now. I miss going out for food with her. I miss her. I miss the way she used to talk to me. I miss her presence, the way i was around her. My heart hurts. I want her to hold me and tell me its gonna be okay. She's the reason i used to get good grades in school, I'm failing now.

I wish i was more grateful to her when she was alive. I'd do anything to have her back now. I hate myself for it

TW: suicide, drug abuse, mental illnesses (BPD mention), overall heavy topics

My best friend took his life.

As if it wasn't hard enough to deal with, a group of people that did not like him for the dumbest shit ever is mocking his death online.

These people don't like him because he was sick. He suffered from mental illnesses such as BPD and drug addiction and was overall always sick. He did things to himself that he wasn't proud of but he was really trying to get out of that dark place and live a better a life.

These people didn't like that he was sick and always talked shit about him on his face, called him dramatic and got to the point of hanging out with him only to mock him.

We got tired of it and argued with them and told them to fuck off (we would have done it before but he kept it hidden from us because he didn't want us to feel bad or ruin the friend group. he was a sweetheart).

Now he's dead and they are posting his face online with cursed filters and altered face and weird music, or they post jokes such as "gonna slit my (yk what) like he did", or "gonna get BPD to get everything I want then take myself out" (sorry, i know it makes little sense, I'm trying my best to translate those jokes from my language to english)

they're also sharing private info and pictures of him and overall being so rude even coming to our dms to tease us about it

it's been really hard to ignore them i just want to beat them up but i don't even have the strenght to get out of bed from how bad I've been grieving

i really hate people. his parents probably won't sue because his father is deadbeat, his step father is a bitch and his mom is destroyed too and probably doesn't even know about what's happening.

he was surrounded by nasty people and I'm so sorry i wasn't enough to help him. he mentioned me in his letter and said i was a great person and to not be sad because i helped him go on for a long while but if i was really great and helpful he would still be here and those people would be too scared to look at me in the face while they instead laugh and act like that freely

i think a genuinely unreasonable percentage of my problems could be solved if somebody just grabbed me and smooshed me into them for like 4 hours 😭

i want someone to just grab me and keep me there for a while. arms around me, face hidden on them, forehead kisses against my will, cheek smooshing, hair playing, all of it. i want to get pulled closer even when i’m already basically attached to them 💀

also steal my hands please. just take them and mess with my fingers while i’m sitting there. maybe pull me back in if i move too far away. tell me i’m staying there. keep me tucked against you like you’ve already decided where i belong and apparently i no longer get a say.

i’d probably make some stupid little noise and hide my face immediately too.

i just want to be somebody’s little creature for a while. put me in your lap, keep one arm around me, squeeze me every now and then, fix my hair while i’m hiding on you, maybe grab my wrist gently and put my hand where you want it. i would be emotionally domesticated.

and i know this sounds clingy but honestly that’s the selling point. i’ve had enough personal space for one lifetime. terrible concept. if i like someone i want to be close to them constantly. i want to feel wanted there without having to wonder about it every six or seven seconds.

i think being smooshed for a few hours would fix my personality temporarily. maybe permanently if the treatment is repeated often enough.

anyway this is humiliating and i regret being literate.

He physically assaulted her. Then when it was brought up in class he audibly laughed. He showed no shame. He never once apologized to her. She reported his assault to the police, but she died before she got to see retribution for her assault. Even before she joined the school she had gone through several traumas and had chronic pains and problems. She thought she could find a safe place in school. She was happy for once in her life before it happened. Then he did it. He beat the shit out of a traumatized disabled teenage girl. The school didn't kick him out because it happened outside of school and they couldn't do anything without risk of lawsuits from parents. She wasn't the same ever since. She was at least better during the summer, because she didn't have to put up with that piece of shit. Then, before school started, she killed herself. He came to her memorial that the school held. But he didn't even look remorseful then. He just laughed with his friends. Laughed in her face. She would hate him being there. I think he knew. That fucker.

I crave community and friendship. For the last 2 years I have been trying to do my best to be an active member in my community, but there are no options that work with the schedule of an adult that works a 9-5 job. I have looked through my local libraries, I have even joined multiple churches looking for volunteer opportunities and it seems that everything is catered for retired people or parents. Every class at the library I want to take is at like 10am on a Wednesday. Every volunteer opportunity is some random day of the week at 2pm. If there is something that works with my schedule, usually it's something geared towards families and parents. I can't win.

I get it, these demographics have the most time on their hands and are more likely to be able to attend at these times. But what about those of us out there that work full time and still want to spend some of our free time being involved with our community? It sucks, I was really hoping to find something where I can help others or make connections. The work I do is very independent so I don't have any work friends. It's lonely out here.