r/movingout

My partner and I are moving across the country to California in the next 6–8 weeks.

We’re planning to sell/donate most things and only bring a small set of very sentimental items (less than one bedroom):

* Furniture built by my dad 👼

* A couple plants

* Instruments (guitars, keyboard, etc.)

* Important heirlooms like photo albums etc

Because these items are meaningful, I’m trying to figure out the safest way to get them across the country without damage or loss.

We won’t be driving ourselves since we’ll be flying with our cats. I’ve looked into PODS, but I’m concerned about long transit times and potential damage. I’ve also seen options where you can pay for space on someone else’s moving truck, but I’m a bit nervous.

When I moved from Ohio to NC last year, I hired someone to drive a UHaul and then flew them back, which worked well. I’m open to doing something like that again if anyone has recommendations or knows someone trustworthy.

I’d really appreciate hearing what worked for you or any companies/services you’d recommend. Thank you in advance!

I’m moving into an off campus apartment for the first time in the fall, and did school online this year so I never went through dorm shopping. My place is furnished with a bed, dresser, and desk. What’s a good starting place for a budget? What are some things you couldn’t live without in college or bought and never used? I’ll also need some kitchen/bathroom supplies, any tips are appreciated!

I am 17f from India and i live with my strict parents i just cant do this i want to get out of here ik some skills video editing social media management canva and have a communication too pls help me to just moveout from this home .Also if possible give me a guide how u did and wht are the reality checks or measures i should know while moving out ( clg isnt a option here )

Give me some grace trying to get a feel as I’ve never hired this out before…and want to make sure
We are moving and got a quote for people to come pack our belongings up. Our house is 1066 square foot, no garage or basement and was quoted 1,000 for 2 people to come and pack belongings for 7 hours, they WOULD be supplying the materials. They would NOT be disassembling any furniture, dressers, clothes in dressers etc. or doing any of the big stuff like tvs…. does this sound about average? TIA

20F here. I've worked my ass off this year saving money, and finally signed a lease for a small place to move out of my home, and I am going to leave soon.

I feel so guilty and terrified, but also excited and hopeful. My parents have tried to control every aspect of my life. I have to be a doctor, no matter what. I have to wear the hijab (I was never given a choice). I have to be the perfect Muslim, and never leave the house ever. Just asking permission to hang out with my friends during daylight hours is terrifying and is usually shut down. My curfew is barely 10 PM on a good day.

At the same time, I keep fighting with myself. I know my parents are insane, but at the same time, they are so overprotective and loving--they buy me anything I want, always financially supporting me, doing chores and things for me, even when I offer to help. My mom never wants me to help around the house, which is kind of crazy. But at the same time, it's like the consequence of that is that I have to give up my entire future to them. I have to marry a man, I have to be a doctor, I have to be their kind of successful, or I am a failure.

I don't know how to describe the relationship with my mother other than co-dependent on me. It's like she NEEDS me to be home, she hates when I am away from her, but at the same time never actually tries to engage in conversation with me, doesn't pay attention to me (despite me trying so hard to connect with her, asking about her day, showing her videos, trying to start conversations) and consistently yells at me. (For context, my parents have an extremely tumultuous relationship filled with screaming fights--plates have been broken, and there is a hole in my wall.)

There was a time where genuinely every single time I woke up at 5 AM to pray, she would scream at me to the point of tears and suicidal ideation. She'll say the nastiest things in Hindi, calling me a prostitute, saying I'm better off dead, saying that she doesn't care about what I'm going through, I need to study. But she'll always break down in tears and say sorry after, buying me something to make me happy, treating me well after.

I recently saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and the medication made me extremely demotivated with my studies because I realized I do not want this doctor future for myself, but helped tremendously with my emotional regulation, and actually gave me the strength to sign the lease and work towards the future I want.

I've been lying to my parents my whole life, and I used to feel tremendous guilt, but now I just feel anger. I sneak out to shows and parties when I say I'm studying, I lie about my grades, I have a girlfriend, I take off my scarf when I'm away from them, and I constantly lie just to please them. I feel barely any connection to Islam anymore because of how they use it to punish me. I wish I could tell them these things, and I would be honest about these things if they would just be normal parents of a college kid.

I just feel so torn. At one end, I owe so much to my parents. They bought me a nice car, buy me literally anything I ask, and treat me like their princess, and in return I just lie to them constantly and make them worry and yell at me. But at the same time, I lie because of how insanely strict and controlling they are, and I know they will definitely shit their pants when they find out I am a lesbian.

I don't want to cut them off completely, and want to maintain some sort of relationship, because they still gave me so much and clearly a lot of what they do comes out of a suffocating love for me.

I want to ask, how did your parents react? Were you able to maintain a relationship with them? How do you get past feeling like the asshole?

I have been getting completely mixed answers everywhere i look. some people say their landlord accepted their ESA letter immediately, other people say they got denied or asked for extra verification stuff. i’ve even seen people say it depends on how the letter is written and whether it came from a legit therapist. i’m not trying to abuse the system or anything, i just genuinely can’t keep paying crazy pet rent on top of regular rent/utilities

i don’t currently have a therapist, so if i go through with it i’d probably need to use one of the online services. so far i’ve been comparing HelpfulPets, Pettable, and ESA Doctors because those are the names that keep popping up when i research this stuff.

HelpfulPets caught my attention because they mention doing actual video calls with licensed therapists, Pettable seems to have a ton of reviews online, and ESA Doctors looks a little cheaper from what i saw. but honestly it’s hard to tell which ones are actually reliable versus just good at marketing.

if anyone here has used any of them for housing accommodations, did your landlord accept the letter without issues? did they ask for extra verification or anything?

mostly just looking for honest experiences before i spend money on something useless lol

I currently have close to 27k in savings, a high credit score at 780. I work a mediocre minimum wage job, it is $19 hourly +commission where checks are $1100 bi weekly. I’ve been looking to pick up another job part time to add to my overall income, however I haven’t got any hits on indeed yet. I’ve had to endure a mentally straining living situation thus far and throughout me accumulating my savings, my goal has never left my mind to, get out of the living situation I’m in with roommates and get my own space.

With that being said I live in Maryland, where the COL is high asf, the cheapest decent unit I found in Columbia where I work (with no car) is 1,750 - 2,330. Completely out of my bracket.
Anything lower you’re in the hood and are risking it. I’m seriously in dire need of this space of my own. I can’t deal with random roommates anymore or the prices of rent in Maryland.
I know it’s a luxury,

I’ve even been looking at mobile or stationary homes outside of the dmv. Yet I also need to have proper finances so I don’t sink, which I take seriously. What you do you all think? Should I move further west like Arizona, Nevada, Vegas? What states are cheaper I will move to Oklahoma if I have to lol.
Please no negativity I just need logic here, thanks.

Is it possible to move out with just part time work? If so, how did you manage to accomplish it?

So I found out that I could stay in the same state and still move out!

So I just found this out!

I could stay in the same state and to just move out on my own. I would just have to call the p\*lice station to let them know that I am safe and that I have left voluntarily. I didn’t think about this cause I thought they could send me back. But I am an adult and I am free to leave at any time!

So my new plan is to walk over to the closest city which is about a 4 hours walk. It’s way better than walking 10 hours of out the state. So I think I could manage this.

After I call the station, I plan to stop by the DHS office and then the social security office to claim what is rightly mine! I will need some money to survive.

Once I get that, I plan to work at my job for a few weeks to maybe a few months if I still have it.

So I am now thinking of leaving the first week of June!

Update! I could get the SSI right away I think! I do have a rep payee so it might take a little longer though.

Hello I’m a 19 year old who’s been living by themselves and I have to be out of my current place by June 1st on short notice. I have about $600 and live in NYC (that’s not enough to do much) so I’m wondering what would be the best option?
Side notes:
-I live alone because I was in the foster system so I don’t really have family for help
-I’m in NYC because 1) I’m from here 2) I’m in college here and have a good enough job
-There is no where else I’m able to stay at the moment
If anyone has any advice or knows any resources/services available please let me know!

Hey everyone. I’m moving to page Arizona in a couple days here to start a job through cool works. I’m from Wisconsin and have never even been. Can someone give me some advice on cool works and maybe that area as well

Hi guys! I'm trying to move up to Virginia from Texas with my boyfriend and his family. I have two cats no car and I don't have a plan yet, which is why I'm doing research and trying to figure out the best way to do things. I'm 22 so I wouldn't be able to rent a truck and even then, it would probably be out of my budget even if I saved enough. I'm currently in a one bed one bath. I'm not taking any furniture with me because I won't need it and I don't have very many personal belongings. I'd say I have 20-25 boxes if even, in total. I could probably compress that into under 20 if I get rid of things I know I won't need or use. I guess what I'm asking is what's the best way to do this? I've already contacted a moving company for advice and they did well to tell me the reality of using a moving company especially with the lack of square space and belongings I have. I've tried looking online for Fedex shipping costs but couldn't get anywhere helpful. Would shipping my belongings beforehand be easier? And would taking my cats with me on a plane/train ride be the best idea? My cats have been on neither so I think I'd be better on a train to be able to monitor them better. I don't know about any of this stuff but I'm very determined to get there, please help!

I'm 20, and I'm planning on moving out quickly, but it would technically be running away.

I've been eating around a 500-700cal limit and fasting occasionally for a few months in preparation for this. I don't plan on telling anyone because the last time I even suggested leaving my mom guilted me into staying.

I've made a list of my expenses, but I got told that the only thing I should worry about is rent. Electricity, wifi and food aren't important if I don't have a place to stay.

I understand that suffering will happen, I'm anticipating the move to be miserable. Being alone will test me, but I'm completely fine with that happening.

I'm aware that food banks, soup kitchens, and other public programs are available, but I don't think I would go when there when there's other's who are in worse situations than me and deserve it more.

Ideally, having zero hunger would be great, but that's unrealistic.

When you first moved out how did you deal with pains and the bodily toll it strained on you?

I've dealt with the shaking, eating ice and condiments to push through days and find comfort in it sometimes.

How hungry were you in the begining? What did you make? Did it get better?

My timeframe is shrinking so any advice is apreciated.

I’m a college student going into my 3rd year of college. I wanted to know how hard it would be to move out of state. My college is paid for and I have the option to do online classes so that wouldn’t be a problem. I don’t have my own place right now but I assume finding a job and an apartment out of state would be the same as fining it in state. I know a lot of people try to scare people when they move out of state but I wanted to know what it really entails and if it’s that hard.

For reference, I don’t have a ton of savings but I do have my own car. I'm also a certified medical assistant and have certifications and licenses related to photography and digital design.

All advice is greatly appreciated.

I have no savings but narcissistic parents I’m temporarily living with. I cannot live with them without sacrificing my mental wellbeing. I’m approved for a $5k loan which will get me set up perfectly for a studio apartment. I make double the rent so I can manage all my expenses including the loan payment. Is it a good idea to take out a loan to help start up my first apartment or will I dig myself into a debt hole?

My income monthly: $4,600
Rent, utilities, parking etc: $1,700
Car, insurance, phone,food: $1,200

Remaining monthly: $1,700

I only need the loan to give me enough to get started then I can pay it back. Thoughts??

TLDR;
I need start up capital to move out on my own and away from my toxic family, but that means I need to take out a loan. Should I or should I wait a year at home and save all the money I can?

hey everyone, i (21F) just graduated college a couple days ago. my parents and i have been fighting and arguing pretty badly this year to the point where i feel my best course of action is to leave and move out; especially if i want to rebuild a relationship with them. i signed a lease in-state pretty recently without letting my parents know until i signed it. i think it’s adequate, but we all had a conversation about it and they’re pretty upset. despite being kicked out a few times and taken back in, being told to find other arrangements if i get home past midnight, and even being confronted by my father on graduation where he said “you need to come back home so we can talk about you getting out of here”; they were hurt and upset by this decision. they claimed that they intended for me to stay with them and build up some finances, pay off debts, and leave with better assets in order. they kept constantly saying “this is not what we had planned for you, but we wish you the best.”

the conversation that followed gave me a lot of doubt and i feel i made a terrible decision. they kept saying how i messed up my finances and future, and how they can guarantee i’m not prepared and that there will be times where i can’t pay the bills adequately. emphasized how I’ll be living paycheck to paycheck and i will save nothing for myself. on top of that they gave me till the end of June before they kick me off the family phone plan “since i want to act like an adult”, so that’s another bill im worried about.

i say all this to say, i would really appreciate some advice/perspective on how to navigate this. i feel i can no longer depend on my parents for support and help regarding this; and i don’t know if what i did is the right thing. this has made me pretty scared moving forward and if anyone has any similar stories/circumstances and how they got through it, i would greatly appreciate it. especially with budgeting and saving.

further context to help maybe: the bright side is i still have a job above national US minimum wage, have about 4.5K saved, an awesome roommate, and a decent support system otherwise. i’m worried this isn’t enough, especially since i have credit card debt + student loans, and one of my goals was to start saving and investing.

EDITS: spelling, grammar

So, quick little thing, me and my two other partners are all 18 and all in situations we need to leave for our own sake. One is making money, one is not, and as of right now I am not because I lost my job. I'm trying to get an art booth for a con to maybe make a little cash but not likely. I have been trying to apply for a job but have been rejected or ignored everywhere near me and my circle of options is small because even though my guardians (my grandparents) promised me drivers ed, even tried to pressure me into it earlier before I was properly medicated, they have revoked it due to my struggles to get through school. Basically "You can't quit school (Go get a GED instead of a diploma) without having a job and relying on yourself but we won't let you get a license unless you finish school"...I have struggled with school since I was young and just feel too behind and like I'm too far in the deep end to make it out traditionally, but I am still trying. And even if I get a job outside my city, I have no transportation without them, or my partner who needs to focus on his own work schedule, because our city is so small there is no public transportation. I need some way to prepare or make money because I need to be able to leave. My grandparents are unreasonable and completely short fused, and refuse to actually work on their problems instead of expecting me to do all the heavy lifting of all three of our mental loads. I have a back up, moving in with my dad, if absolutely necessary but it is also not a good option. I feel so stuck, we were supposed to go find an apartment this October but when I lost my job it changed everything. I feel so stuck. Is there any way I can start to get unstuck?..

Other information; my grandparents have subjected me to a lot of abuse and neglect, and won't genuinely acknowledge that they made my situation worse by sending me to my abusers constantly just because they didn't want to deal with what was required to keep me and my sister safe, aka tell adult children "no". My sister is moving in with our mother, I'm no contact with her because while their relationship is positive mine and hers is beyond repair, so I'm not worried about her but I am worried about me. I can't keep sinking in the issues of the people who were supposed to take care of me; if you can help or have any advice; please. Help.

This was a little rushed because I just started a little bit of a spat with them for being unfair in their treatment of me vs my sister. They have also been trying to pin us against each other, but thankfully we're too smart and communicate too much for it to actually work.

Okay, this might get long, apologies in advance. Trigger warning for mention of childhood abuse, nothing too crazy

The situation is, I'm 21 years old and really want to move out of my family home, but there are a lot of complications with my family's dynamic and I'm not sure just up and leaving is the right move. Some backstory so people understand the dynamic: my family has always been pretty poor and values working hard for what you have - something I value myself. My family has worked incredibly hard to make a life for themselves and I'm incredibly grateful for that. However, we haven't always had the best relationship; my dad physically and emotionally abused me from around 11-14 years old, and my mom has been pretty emotionally cold or "toxic" (for lack of a better word) bordering on abusive as well. My mom's treatment of me lasted longer than my dad's, getting much better after 16, but fluctuating depending on her mood. I will give credit where it is due and say both of them have done a lot of work on themselves and our relationship(s), and things have gotten a lot better, especially with my dad. Things with my mom are on-and-off tumultuous, but I can tell she tries. Going into adulthood, it was a bit of a power struggle as I left for college, especially with my mom: she tracked my phone, had access to my grades and school email (I did not know that was illegal at the time, no I do not want to press charges or anything).

Things were fine-ish until I brought home a boyfriend at 19. I'm a pretty private person, I don't tell my family many things unless they're important or won't get any judgement from them. My mom went through a few things I won't specify, so the boyfriend, on top of not knowing anything until we were official, was something she didn't handle well. A year and a half into the relationship, when I had just turned 21, he spoke to my parents about marrying me (I know this sounds like a tangent, I'm getting somewhere I promise) This freaked my parents out, my mom especially, so the process of me graduating and "leaving the nest" has been interesting. I do plan on marrying my boyfriend, but it's one of many things I am scared to bring up because of how my parents might react. If I were to move out now, I would probably end up moving in with him, and that's an entirely different argument with my parents altogether.

I should also mention that I'm very different from my family, I'm interested in different things and dress differently, and have different values and the way my family shows "affection" is by essentially bullying each other. My mom and sister especially are always messing with me, my mom saying things like my "lifestyle" in college (in a conversation about me being pale and not aggressively working out, instead choosing to hang out with my friends before graduating) wasn't "cutting it" and that I needed to come home to "get back to my roots". I've tried ignoring this, but she's said other hurtful things that really just make me feel disrespected.

This dynamic, along with the trauma from the past, makes it terrifying to speak up for myself or say what I really want without being scared of pissing them off. Even if I'm extremely upset, I almost never say anything and just shut down when tensions are high. In the past year or two, I've been working and living on my own during internships in different cities, and one in a different time zone, on top of taking care of myself and not asking my parents for anything during school, so I've now gotten pretty used to independence and doing what I want. On top of that, I've developed so much as a person beyond what their treatment of me caused me to believe.

Now I've graduated, moved back in with my parents, and am currently job searching to start my career, and so I have a good enough reason to move out without them getting too upset. Unfortunately, I still feel like I'm being belittled or treated like a child, or at the very least "supervised" and I'm always getting questioned about where I am or what I'm doing.

My friends all say I should just do what I want, that their reactions are their own responsibility, and I agree to an extent, but I don't want to do anything out of anger or pettiness. I don't want to act jaded, I want to handle the situation as best I can to maintain my relationship with my family, because we've come such a long way from where we were. So, do I move out now and risk them becoming upset with me, or stick it out until a good job comes around?

If there's anything I can provide clarity on, I'm happy to do so, I know this is a rushed post I made as a bit of a rant.

Hey so I’m a first year uni student hoping to move out but I fear I have no concept of financial literacy. Renting in my city is around 700 AUD on average (as I live in one of the most expensive cities). I just want to know a couple of things:

1. What are the typical costs outside of the bond payment and rent: groceries, wifi, water bills etc and how much you pay yearly

2. With renting would you say splitting costs with roommates or friends is a better situation. I just want to avoid any horror stories with moving in with strangers

3. Is it better to live at home (a non ideal situation) finish my degree and get a job before I consider moving out. As I do have dreams of leaving the country

4. Will renting aid in seeking a house in the future (mortgages) as in Aus credit score isn’t really an alienating factor in the loan process

5. What would you recommend to developing further financial literacy

Thank you!

Okay so sorry if this is a long text and sorry for possible language mistakes, English isnt my first language

Anyway, so I 18 female have gotten the oppertunity from through my psychologist to move out of my home this week friday, its all I ever wanted but I feel torn because of my family dynamic and I have to decide before friday.

Okay so for background, my mom is a devoted muslim, I havent been in contact except from some phone calls from my dad in almost 3 years now.

As a child I was regularly hit by my dad and occasionally by my mom as forms of punishments, it happened almost daily until I turned 12. From then on till 15 my dad would continue to consistently yell at me and berate me on a daily basis. Before I turned 16 he left and for a while I had a good relationship with my mom until like 3 months after when she seemed to direct her anger at him onto me. She consistently talked about how I was so much like him physically and emotionally, yelled at me repeatedly, and once hit me. That kept going until I did an attempt a month before I turner 17, I think you can guess what kind of attempt it was, and afterwards she felt bad I guess. For 3 months she was sweet and normal again until she started going back to her old self and we've been up and down since than. One moment shes all loving and supportive, and the next she starts throwing thing out of nowhere around the house yelling about how she doesnt want to see me etc.

There was also this incident that involved me being forced to sleep over at my uncles last summer and for 3 days he took my phone, went through it daily invading my privacy, and just yelled at me every single day calling me all kinds of names and not stopping if I cried but getting worse. This was obviously not an optimal environment for a girl that was heavily depressed and just got in therapy. My mom consistently takes his side because hes her little brother and gets mad at me for not wanting to see him.

Anyway as of now Im 18, Im not muslim havent been for over a year and I just want to be able to live a little, go to the movies with my friends, eat at a restaurant, drink a bit, wear clothes I like, do my hair. But my mom wont let me, I know some of you might think "Do it anyway, you're 18" but Im afraid what she would do Im deadly scared of her sometimes because shes unpredictable when emotional.

Anyway now to the problem, so my therapist has arranged that if I wish I could go through some independent living project, start in a group home, get a discounted appartment in a couple months, etc. It sounds like a dream but somewhere I also feel terrible moving out right now, my mom is only now officially going through divorce with my dad and she still loves him, shes stressing about my younger siblings (we are 5), her grandma, mom and uncle died last year, her aunt and one of the friends is in the hospital. In around 2 weeks theres a muslim holiday she looks forward too. I feel like leaving now will actually destroy her and I dont want to cause my mother that much pain. I love her after everything because Ive had positive and loving moments with her, and I also know that part of the reason why she acts this way is because of my shitty dad and all the trauma she endured. But I dont want to live this way anymore.

Sorry for the long post! There are alot of details left out but Im too tired to type them right now.