Should I move into a room?
I’m 25 years old and currently living with my parents and my siblings. My younger brother will be leaving to study abroad after the summer, as he does every year. My sister is starting her second year of high school, and my youngest sister is 9 years old and still in elementary school.
Both of my sisters seem to resent me. My parents physically abused me at times when I was a child, but most of the abuse was emotional. They’ve changed now and are “better,” but they don’t want to acknowledge or confront what happened in the past.
They treat my youngest sister with a lot of affection, while she sees me almost like a monster. She doesn’t show me much affection and seems to see me as the bad guy whenever I lose my temper over something.
I’m aware that I shouldn’t complain while I’m living under their roof, but at the same time, they didn’t really support me emotionally while I was growing up. I guess I live with them, but I’m essentially responsible for myself.
I have a work contract that has been renewed until December, and I could support myself financially. The problem is that I don’t know whether I’ll still have that job after December. I’ve found a room for €420 a month. I currently make €1,400 per month, paid in 15 installments per year (and potentially more if I eventually get a permanent contract).
I could afford it, but I’m very aware of what I’d be sacrificing financially, especially at this stage of my life, when investing as much as possible into index funds could make a huge difference to my future.
But at what cost?
I’m seeing a psychologist, and so far everything seems to point towards level 1 autism, possibly ADHD, and giftedness. Emotionally, I’m a mess, and I desperately need some structure that I can’t seem to find at home because there are so many people around me.
Tomorrow I have to call the person renting the room, and I don’t know whether I should tell them I want to move in. I’d have to stay for at least three months, and I’m really unsure whether I should do it.
I don’t know if it’s stupid to move into a room and spend €420 a month when my parents live in the same city.
But I want to feel like myself.
I want to be able to socialize outside without feeling completely drained from absorbing so much energy at home.
I feel like the black sheep of the family. I used to feel like everything I said made sense, until at some point they decided that living according to the “truth” wasn’t worth it and started pretending that everything was fine, when there are still so many financial and emotional issues that haven’t been dealt with at home.
I honestly don’t know what to do.
Would moving out be a stupid financial decision, or could having my own space and some distance from my family be worth the cost?