r/Neurodivergent

I am terrible at high fives… I often deflect off the side or miss the person’s hand entirely. And I usually have to press a doorbell twice because I missed it the first time. And don’t follow me down a hotel corridor thinking I know where the lobby is because I absolutely don’t.

I think it is useful to understand your attachment patterns. secure,anxious and avoidant.
Do u think you know your style? Which one are you?

** DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A ALCOHOL ENDORSEMENT, alcohol has screwed my life more than it helped because of the social problems it caused.

I 18F, have social anxiety disorder, autism & recently diagnosed ADHD.

I have been drinking since I was 12. After the years of reflecting I’ve realised, I get top marks on exams, literally as in highest score in the entire year group, but only when I did them drunk. Sober I’d get high to low marks, always passed, but drunk me did infinitely better - I don’t think it’s a placebo because I realised this after I already did the exams.

Of course, there were so many times I overdid it and passed out drunk in school, so it had its drawbacks.

Now that I’m 18, and I can get alcohol legally (UK), I’ve been drinking less. (weird!!!), but more consistently. I don’t even usually drink enough to get drunk, just tipsy - And I’ve been doing… everything. I’ve been preparing for Uni, I’ve been working on my game (I always liked game development, but never did it consistently, only in those random bursts of motivation), I’ve been drawing more often, socialising with my pets more, been in a better mood with my family, I’ve been doing everything so well…

But I dont want to rely on alcohol for this, I’ve been told ADHD meds are recommended but my doctor person can’t give them because my weight is too low and heart rate too high. I don’t want to be an alcoholic, but Ive been sober for 6 months at one point, nothing got better. I do not plan on drinking at Uni, at least not to the extent I did in school… but if exams come up I don’t know what to do.

(I’ve been given meds to increase appetite, given calorie things which I always forgot to drink and they made me feel sick, the most I gained was 2kg in a year. Lost it immediately once the doctor just gave up. I think the only option is to get ADHD meds illegally, but is that even better than alcohol? Cause that can get me arrested probably. And I want a future…)

Reposting this here to reach more people+ more opinions and povs

Hi! I usually would post on the autism
subreddit but since i got diagnosed with adhd, here seems to be more appropriate and hello everyone:)

I am 20 years old and throughout my life, my mom and her parents put in their minds that i will be an absolute loser as an adult. Yesterday, it became something said instead of the feeling i had. My mother told me, after i said i wanted to work full time “only time will tell.”

For context i have a NT twin brother whose dreams are to work for the luxury industry in biochemistry and somehow that seems more believable to my family than me forming a life of my own.

I am not physically or mentally disabled. I do struggle with social cues and want to pursue marketing. Yet my family thinks i will become an unemployed loser every time there is a major change in my life. No one thought id make highschool, no one thought i would survive college and living alone. Yet not only did i survive, i *thrived.*

I will restart therapy in September but just wanted to know if anyone else in your life thinks you will be useless just because youre neurodivergent? We can do this:)

I (33fm) have a question I have to get 4 teeth extracted (not wisdom teeth) but I'm being put to sleep via iv. How did you guys feel after you woke up? Like were you nauseous at all? Were you freaked out? I'm just anxious bc I don't know how I'll feel once I wake up plus I'm also anxious bc I'll have to ride home with a stranger that the taxi ssi provides since I don't have my license. Also what type of pain meds did they give you if any? I only ask bc I can't physically or mentally handle any sort of narcotic or opioids they literally make me go insane and make my pain worse. I'm just trying to prepare myself the best I can

Hi everyone! I’m new here (29F) and recently late diagnosed with AuDHD and severe anxiety (I’m medicated).

I’m conventionally attractive and fit the "baddie aesthetic." Because of how I look, making friends wasn't hard on the surface, but people always weird or “so funny” just for being myself lol. I always thought being weird was a fun part of me but I feel so burnt out and have no energy to even show that part of me anymore. Because im late diagnosed, telling friends has been super frustrating people literally refuse to believe I could be autistic and just tell me it’s probably only adhd because of my appearance and style.

People often want to connect purely based on superficial vibes. I’ve also took a lot of mental abuse from former Friends in life (really bad but at the time didn’t realize). Looking back, a lot of my past friendships felt codependent rather than genuine. I’d had instances where I’d mix friends (from different friend groups who I thought understood me) and next thing you know they’re bullying me together 😭 I can’t make this up but It's always left me questioning if people actually like me for me.

I’ve built an online presence but I don’t speak in my videos. I have to post on social media because I have a business. We’re in a recession

I guess I’m here to see if anyone has been through or is going through something similar?

I’m 25 years old and currently living with my parents and my siblings. My younger brother will be leaving to study abroad after the summer, as he does every year. My sister is starting her second year of high school, and my youngest sister is 9 years old and still in elementary school.
Both of my sisters seem to resent me. My parents physically abused me at times when I was a child, but most of the abuse was emotional. They’ve changed now and are “better,” but they don’t want to acknowledge or confront what happened in the past.
They treat my youngest sister with a lot of affection, while she sees me almost like a monster. She doesn’t show me much affection and seems to see me as the bad guy whenever I lose my temper over something.
I’m aware that I shouldn’t complain while I’m living under their roof, but at the same time, they didn’t really support me emotionally while I was growing up. I guess I live with them, but I’m essentially responsible for myself.
I have a work contract that has been renewed until December, and I could support myself financially. The problem is that I don’t know whether I’ll still have that job after December. I’ve found a room for €420 a month. I currently make €1,400 per month, paid in 15 installments per year (and potentially more if I eventually get a permanent contract).
I could afford it, but I’m very aware of what I’d be sacrificing financially, especially at this stage of my life, when investing as much as possible into index funds could make a huge difference to my future.
But at what cost?
I’m seeing a psychologist, and so far everything seems to point towards level 1 autism, possibly ADHD, and giftedness. Emotionally, I’m a mess, and I desperately need some structure that I can’t seem to find at home because there are so many people around me.
Tomorrow I have to call the person renting the room, and I don’t know whether I should tell them I want to move in. I’d have to stay for at least three months, and I’m really unsure whether I should do it.
I don’t know if it’s stupid to move into a room and spend €420 a month when my parents live in the same city.
But I want to feel like myself.
I want to be able to socialize outside without feeling completely drained from absorbing so much energy at home.
I feel like the black sheep of the family. I used to feel like everything I said made sense, until at some point they decided that living according to the “truth” wasn’t worth it and started pretending that everything was fine, when there are still so many financial and emotional issues that haven’t been dealt with at home.
I honestly don’t know what to do.
Would moving out be a stupid financial decision, or could having my own space and some distance from my family be worth the cost?

Hello all

Is it just me or does anyone else think too much stock is put into unwritten rules? I don’t always remember it being this way. They use to be guidelines, not traps which your worth is determined by. I also feel like everyone expects their person unwritten rules to be known by all.

Anyone else feel this way?

I'm a person that's unoffically diagnosed and I've been so all my life (boo!!) yeah I know everyone hates self diagnosers and I always feel like I'm faking or maybe I'm just imaginging that I have it. I think a lot of it comes from when I was younger , my guardian always loved to think I was the only one they didn't get wrong or their only 'normal' child from raising two other children with very bad and hard to mangage mental illnesses. I never really turned out normal anyway, never getting help kinda drove me away from relationship building and figuring out how to work properly but I never really blame them I do always have the constant doubt in my head that maybe it will just be a fase but I don't know. Like I wanna just say it's not real but at the same time it's ruining my life so what am I supposed to do.

i'm lowkey really confused because my brother was just leaving to go to some orientation thing for school and was fixing his hair but he does this thing where he like fluffs it out and flips it out on one side but not the other and me and my mom have tried to help him and tell him that it doesn't look right and try to help him fix it correctly. he did it again and so i was trying to help him and i laughed while i was telling him he shouldn't do that and it wasn't like i was making fun of him it was more like he's my younger brother and kinda like he's "just a baby" mentality like he's a kid yknow ?? if that makes any sense.
and he got super mad and slammed the door leaving. my mom got mad at me too for being rude and she was on the phone with my dad and he was saying she needed to take my phone away and ground me. she hung up because her friend was calling needing help on where to go for this orientation thing so my mom told me to call my dad and he ignored me???? i texted my brother sorry and explaining i wasn't making fun of him and he said it's fine and he overreacted but idk i think my dad is still mad.
is this something i just don't understand is mean/wrong or did i not do anything?

also sorry if this makes no sense i suck at explaining lmao

I’ve tried to research about the topic but I’m torn. I do create elaborate fantasies (excuses, fears etc) in my mind or have intrusive thoughts that are absurd. I am 60 40 that I’m not but it could be a fear of being ND

My whole life has passed without making any meaningful relationships. I tried so hard to be there for my 'friends' who didn’t even consider me as their acquaintances. My loyalty and sincerity means nothing to anyone, yet I always see cunning people gaining that title by doing cunning stuff and using people at their advantages. My resentment has been build up so much that I hate the whole humankind as a whole. I never felt like I belong as a child, I never realised what was so wrong of me that no matter how good I am to people they never consider me as a good person, or even acknowledge me as a person. I felt so invisible even though I tried to make small talk, call them over the weekends to hang out with me, or invited them over to my house, they never thought of me as someone. I don’t feel real, I feel like a soul roaming around invisible. I don’t like humans, I see right through how cunning these people are, but these selfish people get the most out of the good things, the appreciation, the love, everything. I don’t want to hate the humankind, I just want to belong. How do I deal with the decades of built up resentment, because I am beating myself up emotionally every day.

I sometimes receives compliments, other people besides my friends, but I can sense that it's flirting behind it. I achieve to figure it out quite fast, in a way.

But I don't know how to react to flirting, even to compliments.

Most of the time, I just freeze and look at them strangely, or I just do a forced smile, because nothing in this situation makes me genuinely authentically smile.

And I really want to know how to react normally, to flirting, when I don't want them back, because I don't want them to see that I'm neurodivergent.

So… I recently was assessed. Something happened which made the traits resurface more than ever. So as far as the assessment results. It was concluded I have ADHD and was mildly autistic. The only reason it took so long to identify was because of seemingly good functioning at work and academics. But I had and still have my fair share of struggles, but I have some people kind enough to help me through some of them.

I also felt one thing many of us might struggle with, is expressing. So I thought it would be nice if we could just chat about how your day’s going or maybe we could write a poem together. Maybe you could draw something and share it with me. Or maybe I could just be a listener.

Expression has been a healing experience to an extent for me and I would love if you guys tried to do so too. And I believe we tend to be very creative. Also maybe your form of expression might be inspiring to someone else to step out. Just taking an initiative.

Yes. I know what laziness is. I have contemplated and been told I am lazy for years. I wanna know am I lazy? I am extremely good at pursing and executing the things I like and enjoy and want to do. The things I don’t wanna do? Nearly Impossible. I have a hard time doing homework, chores. You name it. I have such a hard time and I also feel like I care about little things way more than others do. It is much more complicated than what i can put into words, but I want to know. Does this subreddit have the answers I’m looking for? Or is this just another loose lead