r/Neurodivergent

I am 18 years old in a gap/drop year. I messed up my college entrance examination, and I'm trying again.

I thought I had ADHD, but my therapist doesn't think so. Why I thought it was ADHD:

Extreme Work Paralysis as a Freeze Response: I cannot force myself to study. It’s an agonizing internal lock. My mind wants to move forward, but my body completely freezes. This cost me my physics exam. I get called lazy, but I just can't get myself to accept it.

The Obsessive/Planning Loop: When trying to study, my heart races and my brain starts making intricate thought patterns of planning months ahead. Once done, I compulsively revise the plan endlessly. It gives me 45–60 seconds of relief before I start panicking again, and the loop continues forever.

Paralysis Outside Studying: The taking initiative thing spreads outside of studying as well. My whole life is so exhausting.

Severe Time Blindness: especially during the time periods where I'm not studying AT ALL because it's so hard to just FUCKING start, the day goes right by. Right in front of me. What feels like 3-4 hours have gone by, was actually 6. What felt like 12 hours was actually 24 hours. My life is passing me by. I have no control.

Looking back, I think I agree about not having ADHD because I lack classic traits: I don't get easily distracted unless it's a sensory noise, like paper scratching, which I must stop to continue.

I enjoy learning once I start; I don't space out in conversations, and I don't forget things.

But this planning fixation and starting paralysis are eating me alive. I'm depressed. I get anxiety attacks. I've been engaging in SH. The worst part is that just because almost every teenager is depressed (at least that's what I hear), my pain and misery aren't being taken seriously, and I don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would help. Thank you

So i’ve been thinking for a while I may have something wrong, even before I had my phone or internet access. I got really obsessed with researching about neurodivergence and taking screenings and I talked to my mother about it, she says “im just peculiar and it’s satan messing with your head.” I now feel really strange and as if I’m some type of disappointment pretending to have something wrong when I’m actually fine. I don’t know what to do because it’s causing me stress due to me wanting to get tested but now being scared I’m just weird. My mother says give her reasons to get me tested and she’ll decide. I’m scared and don’t know what to do, I want to be tested but im scared they may send me back negative and I may just be weird and I don’t know. I’m spiraling right now and need any advice i can get because it’s making me feel genuinely unwell

I am hoping I can find some help on this thread.

I was diagnosed with true O, OCD as well as hypersensitivity SPD (sensory processing disorder).

My bedroom is adjacent to my neighbours utility closet (horrible building design), and I often hear the hot water tank turning on throughout the night. It causes a rumbling sound and vibrates through the walls. As such, it wakes me up in a jolt.

I have tried talking to my neighbour and she was really sweet about it and tried to find out if there was a way to reduce the noise but unfortunately it seems that’s just the way the tank works. She also rents, so I do not think the landlord will be willing to pad the space around the heater.

I have tried taking slow, deep breaths and reminding myself that I am safe, but the OCD loops runs over and over, telling my body to anticipate the next noise. I just stay up thinking about how I can’t sleep and if I do fall back asleep, I’ll just be woken up again.

Theres already a cavity wall that is suppose to reduce sound (doesn’t help) and I use a brown noise machine. My room is small and a little awkwardly spaced due to the cavity wall. I am going to try and place my bed on the only other wall it can lean against but I am hoping for other suggestions.