u/lemonbottles_89

I've lived at home my whole life, I have around 13k in savings dedicated towards initial moving out expenses/having 6 months living expenses and I plan to keep growing it to around 20k before making a decision. I'm at a crossroads here and can't decide what's better for my financial situation/life development. Here's my thinking, if anyone has been in a similar situation and had similar considerations, please let me know what you ended up doing!

Living Alone:

-I'd be able to be more responsible for myself. And I want to live alone for once in my life to become more disciplined and independent. But I'm afraid that I won't be able to manage it and that I'll end moving back home or become homeless

-Really worried about finances. My take home is 5k, and in NJ I think I just barely make enough to have an okay living situation, but it'd be pretty precarious. I'm also afraid if I move out now, I won't be able to move upwards financially. I won't be able to save anymore, which will make it harder to eventually get a home

Living with a Roommate

-very shy, introverted, I like my home life the way it is and I think I'll struggle alot running a home with an essential stranger

-I could make some new friends and build a newer community. Living with my family takes a toll on my mental health plus I have a few friends in my current area but not a very strong community

-This roommate can/will move out within 2 years maybe. And then I'll have to play a game of finding a new roommate if I don't have a partner by then

-will make it much easier for me to save towards a home

Stay at Home

-It will make it much easier for me to save towards a home

**-**More and more arrested development/damage to my mental health with every passing day lmao. I'm from an immigrant Caribbean household.

-I'm considering taking all my moving expenses and using this as a down payment on a home in 5 years time and just owning a home myself. But, again, not sure if I'm up for owning/managing a home alone

Are there any adult women who received an ADHD diagnosis in adulthood that can recommend a psychiatrist/psychologist in NJ who can give me an official diagnosis?

Context: I'm pretty confident that I have ADHD. I've struggled with these symptoms my whole life, I relate to a lot of others with ADHD, and my pediatrician and guidance counselors as a child both recommended that I be tested for ADHD but both my parents ignored it. I'm at the point where the coping methods I've learned from ADHD advice online isn't sufficient anymore and I want to get a diagnosis. But the first psychiatrist I went to was very dismissive, didn't really listen to me, and gave me a MOXO test (which I read was pretty outdated?) and decided I couldn't possibly have ADHD after only 2 sessions?

If anyone got a diagnosis in adulthood from a psych/psychologist in NJ, can you point me towards them? Thank you!

I work 9-5 as a data analyst but my org has no money for raises or promotions and I need to make an extra $1k-1250 a month. Is there anyone also salaried full time but with a side hustle and if so what is it? Thank you!

My OBGYN said my main option for my fibroids is surgery, which I was very apprehensive about because I've never had a major surgery like this. I'm 27. She said she'd give me time to think about it and I have another followup call in a few weeks. What questions should I ask to make sure this is the right option and that she is the right person to perform this surgery? I've heard so many horror stories and I want to be really proactive about this before agreeing to schedule this

For more context, I've been struggling with severe period bleeding my whole life but got significantly worse in the last few years. I'm getting iron infusions that don't really help (Hemoglobin is still 8, ferritin is like a 12), and my OBGYN finally was able to find that I have fibroids. 1 is 5cm, about the size of an orange, the other 2 are around like 3 cm. All of them are in the innermost part of my uterus, inside the cavity.

I have 3 YOE as a data analyst working in nonprofit program analytics. I have a masters in sociology. I've never touched the human resources world, but I've been reading about what compensation analysts generally do, listening to compensation analysts talk about their roles, and I want to see how I can learn more about the work and what are the first steps I'd have to take to start getting experience as someone with no HR knowledge whatsoever.

Where should someone with no HR knowledge start if they want to pivot into this work?

Why, season after season, do the men not seem to understand how Casa Amor works while the girls do? The boys will go to Casa Amor, hump on a new girl, and then be shocked that their OG girl finds that disrespectful and chew them out...and I'm so confused as to why the boys are shocked?

The point of Casa is to test your relationship. If you're kissing and macking on someone in Casa Amor...that's your answer to the test. You're not going out to the strip club to have fun and then coming home to your girl still waiting for you. The men each season almost seem to think that Casa Amor is a hall pass instead of a choice that they are making. They think the recoupling is when they make their choice and not their actual behavior during the course of Casa Amor? They go out of their way to makeout with someone in Casa thinking that they need to almost force themselves do that in order to test the relationship, and they'll get a freebie if it doesn't work out. But they don't understand that choosing to go buck wild like that is their answer to the test

The Girls seem to understand this. Each season so many of the girls go out of their way to not kiss out of challenges, or to keep the kisses to something light and cute, or they'll even refuse to sleep in bed with the Casa Boys because they understand what Casa is about. Even when some girls do choose to go buckwild on a Casa Boy, it's after they're shown how their men have been acting in Casa.

I know they've made it 2 years at this point, they seem like such a strong couple, but I'm honestly on the edge of my seat trying to see how they're gonna recover from this point. I'm almost to the halfway mark of the season and Serena has put Kordell on layaway at this point 😭😭

There's been a lot of discourse about second choices, third choices, etc with Carl/Aniya and Kenzie/Dylan. This discourse seems extra ridiculous to me when the favorite couple of the entire series is starting off with Serena putting Kordell in the corner while she goes to explore. I'm not mad at Serena for it, she's been pretty honest with him from the start, but the S8 discourse has made it sound like any couple that isn't locked in from their Day 1 is going to fail. So to see that Serena/Kordell had this kind of start to their relationship is wild.

I know they've made it 2 years at this point, they seem like such a strong couple, but I'm honestly on the edge of my seat trying to see how they're gonna recover from this point. I'm almost to the halfway mark of the season and Serena has had Kordell on layaway at this point 😭😭 I'm not even at Casa yet

There's been a lot of discourse for S8 about second choices, third choices, etc with Carl/Aniya and Kenzie/Dylan. This discourse seems extra ridiculous to me when the favorite couple of the entire series is starting off with Serena putting Kordell in the corner while she goes to explore. I'm not mad at Serena for it, she's been pretty honest with him from the start, but the S8 discourse has made it sound like any couple that isn't locked in from their Day 1 is going to fail. So to see that Serena/Kordell had this kind of start to their relationship is wild.

What are some courses/resources on how to build a basic database/management system for survey data in a nonprofit. As in, surveys being created by multiple teams that are just being stored across a network of spreadsheets. What tools and systems would be good for a nonprofit analyst who does not know anything about databases but needs to manage multiple surveys across multiple teams in one place? Airtable maybe?

Context: I'm an associate data analyst at a nonprofit. I don't know anything about data governance or modeling, my role is suppose to be focused on analytics, that's where my skills are. Over the last year we've had a major problem come up where all our program teams have several surveys which serve similar purposes, which are only semi standardized, exist across a network of spreadsheets, and we don't have real data management system/database anywhere to actually store this data and manage it cleanly for analytics. We have Salesforce for basic client data, but the team that manages Salesforce doesn't seem to be willing/have the capacity to make room in Salesforce for us to store survey data as well.

And my boss, who is not an analytics person, keeps soft launching that I am somehow suppose to be responsible for fixing this issue even though this a database issue and I am on...analytics. I do not have the skills to set up/manage even a basic database but I think this is going to formally become my problem within the next couple months so I'm trying to learn.

What are some courses/resources on how to build a basic database/management system for survey data in a nonprofit. As in, surveys being created by multiple teams that are just being stored across a network of surveys. What tools and systems would be good for a nonprofit analyst who does not know anything about databases but needs to manage multiple surveys across multiple teams in one place? Airtable maybe?

Context: I'm an associate data analyst at a nonprofit. I don't know anything about data governance or modeling, my role is suppose to be focused on analytics, that's where my skills are. Over the last year we've had a major problem come up where all our program teams have several surveys which serve the similar purposes, which are only semi standardized, exist across a network of spreadsheets, and we don't have real data management system/database anywhere to actually store this data and manage it cleanly for analytics. We have Salesforce for basic client data, but the team that manages Salesforce doesn't seem to be willing/have the capacity to make room in Salesforce for us to store survey data as well. And they basically ignore us every time we ask them about bringing this data to Salesforce.

And my boss, who is not an analytics person, keeps soft launching that I am somehow suppose to be responsible for fixing this issue even though this a database issue and I am on...analytics. I do not have the skills to set up/manage even a basic database but I think this is going to formally become my problem within the next couple months so I'm trying to learn.

I'd love to know what the general opinion was about Aaron at this point. He's coupled up with Kaylor, he's been really upset with her after the challenge where the girls were flight attendants. He goes on a date with one of the new bombshells and when he debriefs with Kaylor about it, he has the nerve to tell Kaylor how much better the new bombshell is than her?? I'm like shocked, even if you're having problems with your connection, why would you ever say "Yeah, there are things she's waaayyy better at than you, like she's definitely more levelheaded than you"

What was the opinion on Aaron and Kaylor around this point?

I'd love if it someone could provide a source on what they've heard about Casa Amor instructions. Does production tell the Casa people "Okay this relationship is kind of weak right now" or do they just tell them something like "You obviously have less time, so try and decide who you're interested in sooner."

Asking because I was surprised when Titi was immediately like "I want KC, I like KC" and then I went back and watched, and Carl was on the same type of timing with Aniya. Corey too with Melanie/Trinity. Obviously, I think both Titi/Carl genuinely like their person, but I'm wondering if production targeted Aniya/KC's bad relationship, or if the Casa people are always told, every season, "Try and decide who you want sooner"

Can someone with a chill family explain this to me lmao. I'm not a conservative person at all or that reserved but its still insane to me that people can go on a TV show and get covered in slime half naked, they're making out with someone, they're talking about what turns them on and off and then their families watch it and are like "Lmao yeah right on!"

I'm not judging but I want to understand it because it's so interesting to me how different some family dynamics are and its the complete opposite of mine. I'm cringing at even the thought of my mom or dad seeing me be emotionally vulnerable with another person, let alone seeing me get grinded on.

Can someone with a chill family explain this to me lmao. I'm not a very conservative person or that reserved person but its still insane to me that people can go on a TV show and get covered in slime half naked, they're making out with someone, they're talking about what turns them on and off and then their families watch it and are like "Lmao yeah right on!"

I'm not judging but I want to understand it because it's so interesting to me how different some family dynamics are and its the complete opposite of mine. I'm cringing at even the thought of my mom or dad seeing me be emotionally vulnerable with another person, let alone seeing me get grinded on.

None of the winners ever split the prize money, and ever will. I think if they want to actually add more tension and more twists, they should make the challenges more meaningful instead. If you win the challenge, you should get a date. Or maybe get to see a recorded video from your friends/family. Or maybe you can add to the prize pot. Or maybe you win something like a spa day, a meal and you have to choose to share it with your partner or keep it for yourself that prize yourself.

I think that last one would especially interesting to see over the season, when couples start having problems. Couples might initially start out splitting their challenge prizes until they start having major problems. And then we see who really wants to reconcile and who just is over the relationship.

They also need to tone down the food and slime by like 90%

Carl's behavior in contrast with Dylan's and KC's is such a refreshing reminder about how you should act in a relationship. If you genuinely want to grow closer with someone and you're facing this first hurdle/issue (the recoupling drama) then you cannot have a revenge mindset. A "play the game" mindset. If you're thinking "I have leeway and she doesn't. I have power and she don't, I get to do what I want because you need me", then you've just turned them into your opponent. And you can't grow or build intimacy with someone if they're an opponent to you. If that would've been Carl's mindset, he might've well have just gone home and let the second most popular Casa boy come in.

You have to decide if this is a big enough issue for you to stop the relationship or not and then start working past it (cough Dylan cough). Yeah, Aniya didn't pick Carl at the recoupling, but they'd also only known each other for like...4 days? And she clearly apologized, has been more open, connects with him way better, and it looks like they make each other feel really happy. They got through it because Carl didn't turn her into an opponent to play a mind game against, and now they're one of the best connections on the show. That's how you actually build an adult relationship.

Sure, keep your walls up. Take it slow. But to do that, you have to keep your heart open. I think that's one of the best lessons you can take away for dating.

Do I like KC? No. But do I think he and Titi are a good couple who deserved to be in the final four? Yeah, probably. But the reason they didn't get enough votes is because their defenders on NBA twitter, the redpill dudes using Kalshi to make money off them, turned KC into an avatar for the redpill community. And no one wants to see red-pilled dude wins lmao.

It doesn't even matter whether KC himself is actually red-pilled or not, because the people who actually are red-pilled are saying "A win for KC is a win for me" and I don't want to see that happen lmao. Most of this show's audience are women, and they don't want to see that happen either. It came down to audience and fanbase politics. It sucks that KC has such a misogynistic fanbase latching on to him, but that's what happens when you move the way you do.

Am I annoyed that, after all of this, Melanie is still picking Sincere. Yeah. Do I think the only thing that's gonna break her loose is seeing this whole season with her own eyes once she gets home? Yeah. But at the end of the day, Sincere is the one dragging her through this. He's the one putting her through this emotional uncertainty, talking out the side of his neck, etc.

I see this trend of people talking more about Melanie for not leaving him than being mad at Sincere, I've fallen for this as well, and I'm gonna try to remember that ultimately it's Sincere's lying and embarassing her that's causing the problems