r/blackladies

Hey yall imma make this quick!! Please disclose if you have an STD EVERYTIME!!! I unfortunately am HSV2 positive( I have genital herpes) and I found out about two years ago while pregnant and I've been disclosing to ppl I have sex with!! But I was in a support group where a lot of people said they've had it for years and don't disclose! They kicked me out because I didn't support their decision to not disclose and I told them people they were criminals and rapist for not disclosing!! Im not gonna give details but there's a case in Louisiana where a man named Mykel cook who was held on a 250,000 bond for spreading HIV around and only one woman had the courage to speak up! Theres never a reason to not disclose idm how drunk or high you are people have that forever and it's unfair to make a serious decision like that for someone. Please be safe yall! And if you HAVE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING!

Quick update: I just wanna say thank yall for understanding what I'm sayin !! The chat did not pass the vibe check lmao. Honesty and disclosure are so important!! If you can't disclose u dont need to date or have sex! If they don't have all the information to make an informed decision it's at the very least sexual assault depending on where you live. And that is a crime

If you're a black man making a specifically "pro-black" creative work with an "all-black" cast and your main female character is as white-passing as you could possibly make her? Supposedly by "happenstance"? With the most contrived tryhard reason for her existing in the narrative? You can take your faux "pro-black" creation and shove it up your ass. I genuinely pray that you fail in all your endeavors you sniveling, mentally conquered, white-worshipping wretch. Go die in a ditch.

Bonus points if you're pathetic enough to make her the primary love interest because of course you fucking did.

Thank you and good night.

It’s just a question. No judgement.

Like they’ll claim they’re political, but at the same time they’ll never vote and get mad at things happening. It doesn’t make sense. Only people i know that i’ve been interested in that have voted is my ex. My dad votes but that’s about it.

One of your white coworkers says “I like your wig”

This felt extra passive aggressive to hear because 1. I wasn’t even wearing a “wig” I have my natural hair out and 2. Are you assuming that I’m wearing a wig because I’m black and you think my hair is automatically fake? She said this right in front of 3 of my other white coworkers and we all just paused and looked around at each other. I then asked her straight up, “why do you think my hair is a wig?” and she went silent then stared at me for a minuet before walking away.

I’m on dating apps and it’s like men only want to hook up with me. I’m looking for a serious relationship and I want to settle down with someone but it seems like all the men that I attract are just looking for like a FWB situation or want to hookup. I’m not looking for that AT ALL and it kinda makes me feel less because do men only see me as an object? I literally put on my profile that I’m looking for a serious relationship and I still get guys asking me what I’m looking for ..I tell them a relationship and they say “oh I’m not looking for that looking to have some fun with somebody”

I haven’t been on one date, haven’t gotten anywhere with anyone and I get matches but it literally feels like I get nowhere with them. It all feels like I’m running into the same dude over and over again. I don’t know what to do anymore and maybe dating isn’t for me? (But realistically I want it to be)

For context I’m 21 from the the Metro Atlanta area and I’m plus size so maybe that has something to do with it? I feel like if I was skinny maybe my matches would be different?

"We live in a community where we send our child to school. We actually really believe in communal and collective good. That part of what has left this schools struggling so much, is that everyone who can parachute out has. There used to be racial segregation, but there was economic diversity in our school. Where the Black middle class, and the Black lower class could be in the same schools together. That's not the experience for these kids anymore. So we just felt that we needed to work for a collective good. [...] This wasn't about diversity. It wasn't about saviorism. [...] The choice was believing that if all of us left those schools, if none of us are willing to go in with them and put our lot with theirs, then we're just all agreeing that those kids deserve less and they're going to get less."

I have been thinking about this, and seeing the reactions. I'd love to hear folks opinions.

I work at a modern day plantation: assisted living though it’s really a nursing home. My shift is the busiest but they keep adding work for me. It’s damn near impossible but I do what I can until I find another job.

Last week I showed up to 5 call ins & an unexpected double & worked like a slave while the DON was cozy in bed ignoring my calls. The night nurse didn’t bother filling spots bc “it’s not his job.” I was pissed especially after the DON told me that she called ppl and she didn’t. My shift starts at 7am & at 5:30pm I took an hour break in my car. My job called 15min into my break & I ignored it.

Yesterday the cook(black man) pulled me to the side and said that Massa was investigating me for sleeping in my car during my shift. Who tf was sleeping?! I told him when I’m on break especially after that BS I could do whatever tf I want & I don’t need him or anyone else telling me to report anything to Massa until he bring in people appropriate for assisted living. Speak on that!

He got quiet and said that I was ghetto. I’ll be that. I walked into their meeting and told all of the managers the same thing & they all looked scared of me. Now I hear whispers of me being emotional/disappointment. I didn’t even yell!

I feel like they just want me to be mamie carrying the entire building on my black back. I hate this fucking job! I hate that you can’t even do anything about it!

last night, my bf and i called it quits after 3 years of dating. i feel like there’s too much backstory to get into, but since april, we had broken up a few times and gotten back together without doing any work to fix our relationship. we also work together professionally in the arts, live together (he’s been primarily at a friend’s the last 3 weeks), have the same friend community, and are from the same culture (east african diaspora), so this heartbreak is going to get uglier. unfortunately, we do not have a collaborative, mature way of communicating or figuring out next steps as a team, as there is a lot of pain present and we just end up crying.

to make matters worse, tomorrow is my 29th birthday. it’s usually my favorite day of the year and i always have a big dinner party, but i cancelled it late last night. i just don’t have it in me to answer anyone’s questions about where my bf is. i have a hotel room booked with one friend for tomorrow night and that’s it.

i’ve felt depressed and i’ve retreated in breakup seasons, but this one gives me nowhere to hide except my own home, which isn’t even really mine right now. i just feel so low, like i’m losing everything. i need some words of encouragement, as i will not be able to sever ties due to upcoming work commitments we have. i just can’t believe this is happening during my birthday. that’s the worst part.

I'm tired of being a strong black woman, I'm tired of being betrayed, tired of attempting to do the right thing and getting fu*ked over, tired of constantly trying to build my life and everything falling apart, tired of having no peace, tired of being misunderstood, tired of trying to navigate life alone, tired of people not taking me serious, tired of being overwhelmed, tired of being optimistic, tired of being used, tired of being tired.

Something broke in me recently and its obstacles after obstacles and I know so many other amazing black women going through similar things and it hurts so bad. We make the world go round and have so many barriers to go through. I have no more optimism in me. I'm done

I sweat a lot on my head and on my face, my hairstyles can either exacerbate my issue or are ruined by my sweatiness. What do you ladies consider the best hairstyle to allow you to be stylish, styles that don’t sweat out or add to the problem.

Same for makeup, no matter what I do my makeup is never sweat or transfer proof. I’ve tried facial antiperspirants,the Dannessa Myricks blaring balm which I sweat through but the sweat doesn’t ruin, Patric Star Sexure the Sweat and his matte setting spray, CT matte setting spray, the list goes on but nothing helps.

Does anyone know any potion I can drink? Does anyone else struggle with this? Send help please.

Mom: “Repeat after me: I am a beautiful Nubian princess.”
3 yo Me: “I am a beautiful Nubian princess.”
Mom: “I have beautiful dark brown skin.”
3 yo Me: “I have beautiful dark brown skin.”