r/blackladies

I have this habit of putting my hand over/under my shirt and just holding my boob. I like to lift it up and just hold it. Idk why, but it’s comforting 😂

Hello, I recently graduated from college last week with my Bachelor’s and before graduation I landed an entry level job at a marketing/charity office. They do pop up table events in front of stores to get donations for a large charity. I was very excited to start this job. I went in the office for my first day on Wednesday. I started on Thursday in the field, working with different people to see on how they get donations. Yesterday, me and another colleague was told that we need to start moving the needle to get donations for this charity, even though we both started last week. This morning I was leaving the house, my recruiter called me and told me that since I wasn’t getting donations yesterday, they have to let me go. I was there for 5 days. I felt so gutted this morning. I never been let go from a job that fast. I feel so dejected. I mean, I was told the training period lasts up for 2-3 weeks.

Hi hi! I was thinking of creating a virtual writing circle (just a space for people to write freely for like 15-30min) to help hold myself accountable to write more regularly and was wondering if anyone would be interested in joining??

As a black mom who had a missed bipolar diagnosis and was improperly treated with SSRIs for 3 years, and who experienced psychosis twice, including once postpartum, this case has been draining me and triggers bad memories. It’s just so, so sad.

What are your feelings on the case and the possibility of a not guilty by reason of insanity verdict?

I work in a predominantly white office with only one other black woman. I’ve noticed that some of my coworkers get our names mixed up. It’s never the case that they call me by her name to my face. It’s always that they’re talking to each other and describe something I did or said and ascribe it to her. For example, ‘I was working late with Mary yesterday’ but it was me, not Mary.

It used to only be two coworkers that did this but today I heard someone who I thought was my work friend do it too. I’m a shy/quiet person and the other black woman is more extroverted. Maybe this is silly but it hurts my feelings that I’m misremembered as her and never the other way around. I’ve never heard anyone use my name for her. I don’t think they’re doing this on purpose and I don’t correct them because I’m not part of the conversation when it happens (just sitting nearby and can hear them). Should I call them out on it? I’m afraid they’ll take it badly and the vibes will get weird.

I love swimming and a) would love some tips if y'all want to share any and b) have some tips to share of my own!

Firstly does anyone have a good swim cap recommendation? I have tried Tyr (it's great but too small for my bun now) and one from a brand called Virsidi (I wouldn't recommend this one. Always slipping off and has done serious damage to my edges because of it). I swim almost once a week so a cap that can fit my bun but not rip my edges out would be great

Secondly some tips I have to share! Firstly, contrary to common belief, swim caps don't keep you hair dry. But they're still great for minimizing your hair soaking in chlorine water. I would recommend wetting your hair with clean water and then using Aquaguard's leave in protector for swimming. It has saved my hair from perpetual dryness from all the chlorine, since I swim regularly

Also, swim paddles have been a game changer for me. They get your hands used to proper water dynamic positions (due to the resistance of the water if they're off) and have really helped me build arm strength and muscle memory.

Last year I could not swim to save my life. Now I've been swimming weekly and the water has basically become my second home. I highly recommend lessons, not only can they save your life, but unlock new confidence and a new hobby for you!

Trying to date doesn't even feel fun anymore....I've recently stopped trying to date but the people I've encountered are annoying and some potentially terrifying.

I met one man speed dating during a speed dating event. I would go to a few here and there but always seemed to see him when I did. We exchanged contact information, talked for a bit and then he vaguely said we should do something. He stated he had days off but then didn't say WHAT days he had off. I asked him his days off, he told me...but he never bothered to ask what days I was free. I ended up just telling him to have a good one pretty quickly. He said something along the lines of I really like you.

This next one took place over text message. One man was genuinely irritated that he hadn't been with a woman in a year. As offensive as it sounds, the more I spoke to him, the more I understood why he wasn't getting lucky. He was very conversationally lazy and would keep trying to swinging back to sex. He sent me an unsolicited video of his pokemon cards (I didn't ask to see those). I cut him off and he sounded confused.

Another guy who mentioned he was a Christian man tried to invite himself over to my house. After I told him no and then canceled our next meeting, he proceeded to find me on a different messaging app I used, lied and said the app recommended my number to him. The app I'm referring to doesn't work like that. I cut contact and blocked him. He texted me on the first messaging app, told me he was shopping and wondered if it was me he saw in the store. As someone who has had men try very hard to blur the lines in order to cross boundaries, I found his early patterns of trying to find me/embed himself in my life unnerving. He's blocked now everywhere but jeez. Take a no with grace.

One guy admitted he lied a lot in the past, then proceeded to ask me questions about the motivation of lying. Needless to say, he's not in my life anymore.

Dating isn't the center of my life. I do other things with my life and it's not the end of my world/existence if I don't pair off but it sucks that I haven't had great experiences when dating.

Anyway, have a good day and stay safe!

Listen to your intuition!

Lmao. The other day I saw this video pop up of some group covering Ride Wit Me by Nelly. I finally just went to the YouTube video of it because it popped up somewhere else a minute ago. They called it “RWM”. And it sounds so absolutely horrible (to me). I know it’s a cover, I know it’s maybe not that serious, and I know some black people will like it to because people like what they like. But my God, I just hate the whitewashing of everything. The influx of white folks from other states moving to a very black area in my state, them taking AAVE and acting like it’s theirs, and so so much more.

It’s boring. It’s annoying. Alright, that’s it.

My kidnapper, uh husband of 29 years, woke me up at the ass crack of dawn talking about we have to go catch our plane. I didn’t know if he was having a stroke or if I was. We don’t have any upcoming trips until later in the year so I was discombobulated on top of trying to wake up.

Finally wake up and start stressing over packing. The kidnapper man tells me the bag is already packed and I just need to pack my personal bag. Kidnapper also rudely refuses to tell me the location until we get to the airport.

______

Jokes aside, what a privilege to have a husband who sees that his wife needs a break even if she’s too stubborn to admit it herself. We’ve had a stressful, excited, and tiring past two weeks with a daughter getting married and dropping our son off at college yesterday. I’ve been legitimately crying for the past 5-7 business days(happy tears mostly) and I’m just utterly exhausted in every way, shape, or form. So this is a welcome surprise and a reminder that I have an amazing guy by my side everyday. He even dedicated part of his father of the bride speech to me and got choked up. My husband is not a cryer so that meant something to me.

So now I’m flying to Cancun for a trip I didn’t even know about 7 hours ago.

I am definitely feeling the weight of the world especially with having kids..Everything is feeling crazy and honestly I can’t believe what we as a people are allowing to continue to go on to roll over on our backs and let the government kick us around.. We have data centers polluting our waters . Siphoning our fresh waters.. lynchings .. poisoning of our food it feels like nothing is safe to eat .. but we continue to eat, we continue to pay bills .. we continue to act blindly like nothing is going on. What are we gonna do about it just let elites kills us and our kids for fun ? When I say something about this to friends and family everybody looks at me like I’m crazy 🫨 am I crazy or are we just acting continuing with our lives and hoping for the worse ?

I think I'm up to 100 now. Last few months has been 4-5 in a row lol

And people try to say women got it easy when it comes.to dating. They have no idea...

I’ve been thinking about this lately, especially after seeing all the discourse around the Papoose/Remy situation.

Unfortunately, I still use Facebook because of family and friends abroad so I am often exposed to entertainment news and so on.

Whether you like Claressa or not isn’t really the point here.

What stands out to me is how quickly things shift into attacking her appearance. Every post seems to include people calling her “manly,” saying she looks like a man, questioning why any man would want her, or making jokes about how she looks. It’s like her accomplishments get completely overshadowed just so people can focus on her appearance.

This is a woman with multiple undisputed titles and an Olympic gold medal. One of the greatest boxers of all time. And yet, her achievements are often treated like an afterthought compared to the same recycled jokes.
What surprises me even more is how often this comes from other Black women.

We’ve had so many conversations about the masculinization of Black women, especially darker-skinned women and women with athletic builds. We talk about unrealistic beauty standards all the time. But when it comes to Claressa, those same stereotypes suddenly become acceptable to repeat.

You don’t have to like her personality. You don’t have to agree with everything she says. But why is her appearance always the first thing people go to?
I really think this is bigger than just her. The comment sections under almost anything involving her make that pretty clear.
Am I the only one who finds that worth questioning?