Obv don't feel like you have to answer! You can also just put down a decade or a general range, I'm just curious what ages all the people who have found a community here are! I'm 35 (took me a second to do the math and remember)
When I was a teenager I never would have thought to search for an autism community but I hope I'm still here decades from now!
I know a lot of us can be quite sensitive to smells (I personally can find your traditionally ‘unpleasant’ smells much more overwhelming than most, am much more sensitive to the smell of spoiled food and for some reason I still struggle with aerosols/spray on deodorant?) but I have a big hyper fixation with fragrance and perfumes - wondering if there are any fragrance girlies in the sub?
Let me know in the comments what your favourite fragrance notes are and if you have a favourite perfume you own, or want to buy/try ❤️ can also include things like laundry detergent/comforter, soap, shampoo/conditioner, body oil, lotion, shower gel ☺️
I'm hardcore considering getting a collapsable double box grocery cart because every single cart in every store I go to (except Costco) have added a lock to the front left wheel and now all carts are wonky and overstimulating because they either don't move, but aren't locked, or they pull to one side or refuse to turn. it's just expensive.
I have other accommodations I've done for myself. I use loops and noise canceling headphones. I have a light pain stim toy (little ouchies brand) I don't wear bras with underwire. I don't compromise my sensory issues with clothes.
Do you guys feel this way about anything?
Many years before it even occured to me that I could be autistic I used to tell my mom that I didn't want to go to a mental hospital but I did want to be sent away to the country to recover.
My whole life after leaving home there were periods where everything just felt too hard and I stopped being able to handle basic stuff like eating, dressing, washing. And I felt like I was using up all my energy the moment I got it just being alive.
I didn't want to move back home but I did want to be somewhere I didn't have any responsibilities and didn't have to make my own food or dress myself for a few months.
It's so interesting now as a diagnosed adult to realize I was just describing the gold standard for recovering from autistic burnout! Rest, reduce stress and responsibilities, be somewhere quiet and limit sensory input.
Did anyone else feel like they wished they could be sent to a convalescent house where they were served meals and sat in wicker chairs by the sea wrapped in blankets?
Does anybody else have this issue?? It seems that every single person I make friends with just wants to get into my pants. I don’t know if it’s a me problem or that I’m somehow giving them the vibe I want something more than friendship but it’s so irritating. I have a boyfriend. I just want friends man. Idk what I’m doing wrong.
Edit: I am referring to men here :/ somehow it’s easier for me to converse with men and start ‘friendships’ with them.
I have vasovagal syncope, and for the first time in 10 years (because I avoided it) I had my blood drawn
I started passing out during it, and the woman giving me the blood draw made me bawl in my car afterwards
Her genuine concern for me. Her strong confident voice. I had this sense of “she has me” which I’ve never felt before.
Usually I have to spell out to people explicitly how I’m feeling, beg them to understand, tell them exactly what I need and how to execute it, and be the “caregiver” even when I shouldn’t have to.
Most of the time my parents straight up ignored my needs and emotions because theirs came first. My dad would laugh in my face when I was upset.
But this woman…
She took care of me when I was almost passing out, trying to prevent me from fainting by doing various things like fanning me, holding my head when it drooped sideways, got me to smell the sanitization wipe to ground me etc
She advocated for me “get her water! Get her water!”
I almost didn’t want to leave…
It’s just so sad. That this woman, who’s only doing her job, has shown me more care than my mother and father ever have.
Better than friends or partners ever have either. I must attract emotionally neglectful people, or people who want a “mommy”. No one ever attuned to me
I didn’t even realize you could feel this way.
That you could have someone actually care for you, notice you, without having to explicitly ask, beg, explain what you need or convince anyone.
It just made me break down crying in my car afterwards
I was diagnosed with sleep apnea, and a little over a week ago I got my CPAP machine. I am not ok with this. The whole thing is driving me up the wall. I understand it’s necessity; my dad had sleep apnea, and he had a heart attack, partially because he wasn’t using his enough.
It’s hard to talk to anyone about this, because most of it is obviously in my head, at least the whole OCD part of it. I have ADHD, OCD, autism, anxiety, PMDD, and recently, depression. I have brought it up with my therapist, and basically, he just wants me to try to use breathing techniques to reduce my anxiety, and wants me to read more about the benefits of using one, so that I can try to change my mentality about it.
It’s very overstimulating, mentally and physically. It took me three days just to put the mask on, with the machine off. Every time, it just made me burst into tears and almost gave me a panic attack. I wear a medical mask every single day at my work, so it shouldn’t be a problem to have something on my face. I feel like it’s just in my head.
The cushion on the mask is memory foam, and I’m also wondering if the off gas is bothering me. I am sensitive to smells, and I have multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS), so I’m always very cautious, because getting migraines, brain fog, or heart palpitations from smelling something is not fun.
I haven’t been sleeping because of anxiety about this. I just sit there, and stare at the machine, and tell myself that I need to do it, until it’s like 5am or 7am and then I finally just pass out without putting it on.
I finally convinced myself just to take a short nap with it on, and the only way I can describe it is like putting Vicks vapor rub up my nose, and then having someone point a hair dryer at my nose. As soon as I fell asleep, it felt like someone put their mouth over my nose and blew as hard as they could. I woke up literally screaming, and when I pulled the mask, I pulled one of my nose rings really hard. That’s another thing, people are suggesting to get the nose pillow instead of a mask, but I have nostril rings and a septum ring. I posted a picture of the mask I have.
My biggest issue is, and always has been, change, so I can’t tell if this is just the icing on the cake, like, this is just sending me over the edge, or if what I’m feeling is valid. I just turned 40, I woke up a few months ago with the worst brain fog and confusion, and haven’t really felt myself since, but the doctors say there’s nothing wrong with me, and that it’s just stress. I’m currently in a wheelchair for an injury related to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, and my injuries are becoming more and more frequent. Because of my injury, I’m out of work, and literally have no money, and you can imagine what kind of stress that is adding to everything.
How do I get over the overstimulation? Everything I’ve found online says to try lowering the pressure, but I was specifically told that the doctor controls the pressure, and that lowering the prescription will put me in noncompliance with the insurance company.
I just feel hopeless. Also, when I got the machine, I was in the middle of a PMDD breakdown, and I’m finally getting out of that.
I mean this in being an adult, I'm in my early 20s and have never had a job, cannot drive (although in planning on working on it soon as my anxiety has been better) and am not in any education. I feel incredibly ashamed for being behind like this, everyone tells me it'll get better and I'll do this or that, but I feel like I'll be stuck in my current situation for the next decade. I know I'm not alone, but it can be hard to know when all I see is successful people. Feel free to comment down below if you are in the same boat as me, would make me feel a lot better <3
EDIT: cannot reply to everyone but thank you for sharing your experiences ! I’m glad I’m not the only one feeling like this. Love to you all 🫶🩷
I rarely ever join get-togethers in the office. It's just too overwhelming for me with all the people, noise etc.
Today was another one and I just stayed at my desk and continued to work. After it had finished the colleague that organized it came up to me. I was fully expecting something along the lines of "why do you never show up whatsoever". But instead she said that there is still plenty of food left and all the people have gone back to work so I can grab a plate now. She explained that she knows that I just don't like being around all those people and that she never takes it personal. But that it was important to her that I could also take some of the food she brought.
So I went to the break room with her and took some food. I probably said thank you 100x and let her know just how much I appreciate how she handled all of this. She looked at me said "you know, I can tell that you are autistic. I see it in you and I want you to know that you deserve to be treated kind and have your needs accepted and met". I was absolutely blown away and will never forget this moment.
I never shared my diagnosis with her but still she was able to tell and respect me enough to never force me into anything. Meanwhile other people treat me like shit besides knowing about my diagnosis.
I have been exhausted pretty much my entire life. When I was a young child I had to nap every day- pretty normal, right? Well then it carried into my preteen and especially teenage years. I felt consistently tired all throughout the school day despite getting adequate sleep, and there were many days I missed school due to being too tired to get out of bed and feeling subsequently sick because of it. When I’d come home, I’d have to nap immediately. There were very few days throughout my entire teen years that I didn’t.
Obviously I went to the doctor multiple times, they ran countless blood tests, all of which came clear with the exception of some minor vitamin deficiencies. None of my doctors ever seemed too concerned. Had a brain scan done for an unrelated reason, there was nothing wrong.
As of my adulthood, it’s only gotten worse, to the point where even sleeping 13 hours isn’t enough. I still get yearly physicals and bloodwork- again, all clear. This isn’t just mild sleepiness, it’s debilitating and prevents me from working. Doctors still don’t seem too worried when I bring it up every visit, and throughout my life I’ve seen countless doctors.
The question i have here is this: can autism cause extreme lifelong fatigue? I also suffer from diagnosed major depressive disorder and have been on meds since I was about 14 (none of which have ever helped.) In 2020 and 2021 I had bad covid infections that knocked me out for a week and my fatigue has only worsened since. So is it just a cocktail of factors? Obviously it’s nothing extreme or I’d be dead a long time ago considering I have literally been experiencing this long past a decade now. Even longer if you count my childhood.
Worth noting:
Maybe I’m simply a medical mystery. Idk. I might never really know.
Does anyone here also feel like no one truly likes them, or desires them to any capacity? I socialize with people at work sometimes, but I just don't have the feeling that anybody (ever, in my life) actually likes me.
It's hard to explain, but I have never felt a secure "knowing" that other people care about my presence… As if it wouldn't matter if I were here or not.
—
All I know is that I find immense comfort in being alone very frequently… I love being in my own world. It's very comfortable and safe, free of judgment. It's definitely something that keeps me going. That, and the music I enjoy.
If I ever feel insecure, which I do frequently, I always know that I can be alone by myself and do the things that I want to do... It definitely gets me out of my head because it is very hard for me to gauge how people are feeling about me, whether or not they even want me to participate, socially, etc.
I try my best, but sometimes I'm just not sure about how other people feel about me no matter how hard I try to figure it out.
I’m curious if anyone relates. My dog Jasper is definitely a special interest or obsession of mine. I think and talk about him constantly. I am so obsessed with him. Everything reminds me of him. All my vocal stims are around him. I just love everything about him sooooo much and I feel like my obsession goes beyond normal NT pet owners?? I can’t put into words well. He is my favorite thing in the whole world and my best friend and baby. I constantly bring hi, up to people or show pics of him to them or insert him into convos too. All I wanna do in life is make him happy.
Anyone else like this?
I work in a job helping autistic kids and the place I work is considered neurodiversity affirming. That’s actually a big focus and is discussed a lot. I’ve been at this job for years now. The owners of the business love me, I work hard, and I’ve had a lot of freedom to grow at this job.
My manager has always had issues with me, generally finding me rude or mean. People were calling her a couple nicknames (nothing mean, just things she wasn’t comfortable with) and for some reason I was the only one corrected for calling her a nickname. Once she brought it up to me I did try to explain myself but she found that rude and I generally just stopped calling her nicknames while other people continued with no issue.
Now she brought up that other people have said I’m being mean. One of the instances she brought up was something I can fully admit was probably mean on my part. I thought I was joking with someone but I can acknowledge it hurt their feelings and was wrong on my part. The other instance was one in which I brought up an actual concern of a coworker breaking rules at this job and I brought it up to this coworker’s manager. My manager said the problem was there were a couple other people around when I said this and it wasn’t nice to say it in front of other people. She explicitly referenced this coworker’s neurodivergence and stated that is the reason for her actions.
I ended up crying because I feel like everyone else’s neurodivergence is respected except for mine. Now my manager feels bad for saying anything but I’m so hurt because people are always telling me it’s not even the words I say, it’s my tone. And I can’t actually even perceive my tone. I don’t want to hurt people and I’m trying so hard not to (I am going to apologize for the instance in which I thought we were joking). I have expressed many times that I am often blunt and monotone and that it doesn’t mean anything but I feel like at this job in particular people are choosing to interpret the things I say as mean. I did express to my manager as well that this is the first and only workplace I have received this feedback.
I just feel like I don’t have room to make mistakes the way other people do. I’ve always been told by therapists to not tell my job that I am autistic but I think I need to at this point. It also confuses me that I work around autistic people all day long and none of my coworkers have seemed to pick up on that. Of note: some of the coworkers who have said things know I am autistic and never once came to me to discuss these concerns before going to my manager.
I have loved this job and have some leadership at this point so I’m not ready to leave yet but I also don’t want to be around these people anymore.
I've been in a professional career since my mind 20s. Im now 35, I work in operations.
Yesterday, my boss called me in and basically said they are asking me to leave the team and take 1 of 2 roles in another dept, they felt would be a better fit. Basically roles that minimize my communication/contact with execs.
Not because I did anything wrong exactly, but that my ability to produce the results they wanted wasnt adequate... Basically that thier unspoken expectations weren't being met. I've said it 1billion times that I NEED people to be direct and say what they mean/need. But execs are notorious for expecting you to pick up their wants and needs before they know or ask. Which in many cases I had/do... but the more recent incidents were literally not in my control but im being held accountable for them.
Anyway, its the first time ive been openly aware that my undx autism has lost me a job role. That my inability to fully catch insinuation, hinting, assumptions, reading between the lines had a severly negatively impacted and cost me my role. Im grateful they didnt terminate me, and felt i have great work ethic, skills etc but that it just wasnt the "right" role. Just sad and disappointed in myself.
Hello! Idk how to begin. But I want just to share my interest. Well my special interest is games and anime. I really love the franchise, well it introduces me thanks to my father, since in my childhood, he played often RE 4 on ps2 when I was around 7/8 years old. I thought "What is that of scary game?" In that time I rather want to play Tekken 5, Crash Banditcoot 2, Prince of Persia sands of time, Bratz, Barbie, SpongeBob, Shrek 2, Totally Spies, Sonic Sega Star super tennis. But around 15 I want to try shooting game, and since I saw my father often playing RE 4, I was more familiar with it. And I try it and love it! It has also special place in my heart of my first shooting game. Then I play more other RE games. And it's one of my favorite franchises. I can say more about it, but it'll probably long text.
anyone else just feel completely stuck with bras? Like i hate wearing it AND i hate not wearing it.
i'm not even asking for recommendations at this point, i've tried everything. i just want to know how it affects yall too.
hi everyone. sorry if this sounds silly, but does anyone else find dancing really uncomfortable?
how can I learn to dance naturally when it feels weird to me?
I’m not sure if it’s worrying about being perceived, trouble with coordination, or not knowing popular songs, but ever since I was a teen, I’ve avoided dancing in almost all situations. I really struggle at weddings, parties and when my friends or colleagues spontaneously start dancing 🫠
anyway, my friend and I are going away and she wants to go to a club together. I said yes because I want to challenge myself, but I am quite worried about not knowing how to dance!
I’d really appreciate any advice on how to dance/navigate a club environment
A group of people I know organised a trip. I was told how much it would cost. I paid. We organised a call to discuss the particulars and where to meet up etc. And... That's when I find out the person organising it booked us shared rooms and didn't think to tell us. Obviously the couples are sharing, but us single people were expecting our own rooms, not to get paired up with some random. I'm really annoyed.
I was a bit overwhelmed with the idea of the trip, but the fact that I don't even get my own sanctuary to retreat to is too much to cope with. I'm going to have to cancel.
Coupled up people just do not think sometimes.
Granted I should have thought to ask, but I just assumed as a perimenipausal, middle aged woman who lives alone, that I'd get my own space
I felt like in the video call we had as well that there's a core group who are already good friends and the rest of us are stragglers. I really don't think I'm going to enjoy it. I'll just feel like I'm not meant to be there. I've been in that situation on trips before and regretted going.
I'm too old to force myself to do things that are supposed to be fun, but actually aren't.
To preface, I (f20), and the people around me, suspect that I have autism. I've been depressed and socially inept for 10 years so I feel like that could be a possibility. I also just don't seem to operate in the same ways that other people do.
I've finally started to grasp that people don't always say what they mean. For example, on multiple occasions, I've been told "you're so cool, lets hang out again” only to never hear from them again when i follow up a couple times. Sometimes I invite my friends to do something with me to help with anxiety (they don't know that) and they will say yes but when I follow up they dont respond or keep texting while ignoring my question. It happened today. I understand that plans can change due to feelings or other obligations, but it still feels like they lied to me. I'm sure that's not what they intended. I'm sure they weren't thinking “let's mess with OP”.
I do find it strange though that the people that have ghosted still acknowledge me even a year later. They awkwardly smile and wave. I don't understand. If you don't like me, don't acknowledge me at all. I will ignore them. I block all of their socials and numbers. I get that sometimes people don't mean it but it FEELS intentional and it makes me feel very worthless. That's also funny because if someone is intentionally doing something to you, doesn't that mean you're of some worth to them? Idk.
One girl who I thought was very refreshing and cool asked to hang out again. I followed up a week later and a month later. She never responded but awkwardly smiled at me when I was walking down the street. A month after that I blocked her everywhere. I'm so sensitive to everything all the time. After each social predicament I just isolate myself for a couple of months and the cycle continues.
I did not realize how obviously autistic i appeared until i started recording myself for social media posts. I got diagnosed in my late 30s and felt like I somehow overplayed my experience for the diagnosis. I’ve worked with a therapist for a year and still didn’t feel like “I’m autistic” felt part of my identity. I have imposter syndrome about being part of the autism community.
Ambiguous social situations are my kryptonite. I started trying to push myself to be more social both in-person and online. After watching back a few recordings, it’s painfully obvious. I think I’m sounding excited but my tone is flat, my eye contact is wrong, and my vibe is so awkward.
I don’t know what the point of me posting here is. I guess I’m looking to commiserate. Has this happened to anyone else? My social anxiety is now way worse 😔