​

I am trying to not violate the rules of the sub, but honestly this was a tipping point and I can't stop thinking about it.

I've been fuming about this all day. I don't even have the words to express how sick to my stomach I am after watching the first minute of the Shane Gillis monologue on snl. I stopped after he talked about women looking like whores in the gym. I looked it up later to see if anything got better instead he continued with his so called jokes including staring at women's asses and that it's important not to get caught and calling his sisters fat b**.

This monologue was allowed at the same time that a university in the same state has been revealed to be covering up sexual assault, enabling the assaulters, and otherwise sitting on their hands. Maybe it's not as big as ice or anything else happening in the us. But this makes it seem like the fascists are winning. Letting this person on to a show that is live streamed to a wide audience is unconscionable.

I'm done with snl. I'm done with nbc. Boycott nbc. Demand Lorne Michaels resignation. Boycott snl.

I had to go to an urgent care clinic because I have a history of kidney stones and believed I may have been passing another one. I was having concerning symptoms and wanted to get a urine test to make sure I didn't have an infection of some kind.

The urine test came back negative for anything, and just because of that the nurses were discussing that the results were fine and they started loudly singing "​I remember I remember when I lost my mind" because they thought I was making up symptoms and had nothing wrong with me. They then had me go back for an xray of my abdomen... the male nurse had me take my pants off and I stood there in my underwear while he took the xrays and made it seem like he had to stand next to me and look closely at my lower abdomen area to get the right xray image.

It was only after this experience did my mom say it was weird they didn't have me put a gown of some sort on and she thinks he just wanted to see me in underwear. On top of that, the xray revealed I had an impaction and I ended up passing a kidney stone the day after as well.

I now feel really shitty about being made fun of because they thought nothing was wrong with me and also having a male nurse be weird while taking the xrays. I don't know if I'm overthinking it. Sometimes I hate being a woman and having to deal with this shit from medical professionals who should be focused on helping us. ​

Edit: I'm glad the no gown during the xray thing is normal. I didn't see it as too big a problem at the time until my mom said something later on. I will say that I've always had a gown to put on when getting imaging done, this is the first time I've ever had to stand around in a cold room in just my underwear, but at least it won't plague my mind now. The nurses basically calling me crazy for listing my symptoms and then having nothing wrong in my urine test still bothers me though but it is what it is.

Editing again to say that I understand that I seem irrational thinking that they were singing that song about me, but the way their conversation about my symptoms and clear urine test results and the fact that the one line of the entire song she sang during that conversation was that one specifically... I have no doubt it was about me lol.

First of all, thank you so much to everyone who commented on my previous post. Reading through your perspectives helped me ground myself when I was going insaneee in my head. I am SO SO GRATEFUL to everyone!!!

After sleeping on it, I’ve decided to use the remaining 5 days of my membership and see how I actually feel in the space before making any decisions.

Tbh the idea of immediately altering my daily life, route, and habits over some weirdo made me feel completely powerless. Long-term, I think it’s better to learn how to stand my ground and protect myself. I do carry self-defense tools with me, and I'm on high alert, but if it gets worse I guess I'll leave or try to contact my male friends/ relatives.

If over these 5 days I realize the mental tax and cortisol spikes just aren't worth it, I will walk away to a new gym. But I want this to be my deliberate choice for peace of mind, not a panicked reaction. I can;t always be running away I guess... Also when he was trying to give me a flower I said no thank you, and he said "ok" then... maybe i'm hoping for better too much.

As for the gym itself: their dismissal of a member being stalked right outside their doors is unacceptable for a place charging premium rates. I will definitely be leaving them an honest 1-star review on Google Maps once I'm done to hold them accountable and warn other women in my city. if anyone wants to help me please dm.

Thank you all for reminding me that I have the power here, whatever I end up choosing and thank you once again for so many upvotes. as a young girl it just matters so much.

What do y'all think?

I am the complete opposite of a trad wife. I'm very single, have an education, am a stubborn feminist, very independent, and love having my freedoms, and am chasing the career of my dreams. I'm about to be 24 years old. I don't even necessarily know if I want kids one day...but for whatever reason I find myself obsessing over traditional content both with online influencers and people I know. I'm always watching them cook things from scratch, always talking about their kids, always watching pregnancy videos, always obsessing over marriage and proposals. I get like upset and jealous over it. I'm not real sure why. In my own life my goals are to travel the world and follow my career dreams that I've wanted since 7...so why do I find this stuff so emotionally taxing? I feel like behind and like I'm not good enough because I don't have 4 kids running around and a husband...even though I as myself know I would not enjoy that life. Like realistically it is not something I want. I don't enjoy babies at all in real life. I never wanted kids in my 20s even as a teen. But I find myself fantasizing about this stuff. Is it like the societal expectations getting to me maybe? I mean damn, maybe I'm just lonely or something I don't know. But I guess a Woman who gets pregnant seems to be much more celebrated in society than a Woman uprooting her life and moving to Europe. I think I crave that feeling sometimes. Maybe the cultural acceptance, normalcy, & belonging of it all.

I'm sorry in advance if this comes across as aggressive but I'm very frustrated.

Guys, please stop telling me I'm "lucky" to be a Lesbian. It's an extremely out of touch thing to say. You're acting like homophobia doesn't exist and like queer women somehow aren't oppressed by misogyny.

The sentiment I do understand is: "You're lucky that the gender you're attracted to isn't actively oppressing you and/or is an immediate danger". I agree with this completely.

However, a lot of straight women seem to think being a Lesbian somehow protects you from systemic patriarchal violence; on some level it does, as I will never be in an intimate relationship with a man. That doesn't change that men are still dangerous to me, that male friends of mine have tried to assault me and have succeeded, that I will always be objectified, sexualized, and dehumanized for being a woman. Specifically for being a lesbian. Not to mention that complete and utter social isolation queer women (especially lesbians) experience because the entire world is male-centered. Nothing is for me except a few spaces and even those are overrun by the most disgusting straight men.

And good lord, the way some straight women respond, acting like somehow Lesbians won't face standard relationship problems (ghosting, incompatibility, lack of options, etc) is crazy. Yes, I'm less worried about my safety with my partners, but that does not negate the existence of homophobia, fetishization, and misogyny that I (and other queer women) still face. Genuinely, it seems like some straight cis women seem to believe that being a lesbian gives me this magical bubble that repels all men.

I fucking wish. I still get harassed and catcalled and groped.

Honestly, it's downright offensive when straight women will say "I wish I were a lesbian" or "you're so lucky to be a Lesbian" sometimes because you're implying i'm gay because I hate men.

I'm a lesbian because I love women.

My sexuality has nothing to do with my distrust for men as a social group. If tomorrow, we all woke up and patriarchy was gone and misogyny was no more, I'd still be a lesbian because I fucking love women.

Also, I'm sorry but no one is forcing you to date men. Literally no one.

Quite honestly, some straight women aren't really feminist, they are either

1. Just focused on their interpersonal issues and how those are affected by gender. By this I mean women who only ever talk about feminism or "hating men" when it comes to a guy ghosting them or just being an asshole. Yeah, that sucks. And yes, gender dynamics do play a role in these behaviors, but a situationship not texting you back is really NOT the most pressing feminist issue

Or

2. They are feminist but associate with and date the most deplorable men on the planet. You know, the liberal girls and their neo-nazi boyfriends

Anyways, this entire post isn't me trying to erase the danger women who date/are attracted to men face, but rather to bring attention to the fact that being a lesbian doesn't protect me the way a lot of people seem to think it does.

So I arrived at my GP a bit earlier than intended so I was waiting outside just killing some time.

When this guy parks up and I could see him walking towards me and he asked why I was standing there and I explained I was early and didn’t want to go in yet.

He then asks me if I wanted to go in with him which I politely declined. He then looked me up and down and asked me how old I was and where I lived

I lied about everything and started being short with him.

He went into the doctors and came out 10 minutes later and walked to his car.

He then came back and asked me if I wanted to hang out with him and knew some nice areas to go, he was literally asking me to get in his car with him.

I promptly said no and walked in the building

Come on man, outside the doctors office? Really?

I met this woman almost 10 years ago, we'll call her Coffee because that's what I'm drinking right now.

Coffee was working hard to put her life together when I met her. We were in our early twenties and she had already been through a lot. She had a kid her junior year of high school and the dad was a POS. She had to build a life for her and their child alone.

When we met, Coffee had a condo that she had inherited from her parents, who have both passed, she just had to pay the condo fees. She sometimes struggled with this because holding down a job was difficult for her. She has since come a long way, finding a career she thrives in and taking amazing care of not only her own child, but any neighborhood kids who need help. She is the safe person in her neighborhood. You know how important that is to a kid.

Then, about two years ago now, enters this man. That's about all there is to say about him. Any interaction I've had with him (again, I've known Coffee for almost a decade now) has been met with blank stares or him walking away without saying a word. This is apparently how he treats all of our friends, not just the women either, everyone. We've tried to talk to Coffee but she'll say he's shy and shrug it off. I got it at first but two years of interactions with all of her friends (spoiler alert: including their WEDDING!!!) and not one of us can say we've had a meaningful, or even pleasant conversation with the dude. I'll call him Dust.

Dust moved in with Coffee within two months of them dating. At the time, he was struggling to hold down a job and Coffee, having been in the same position, empathized and took him in. Since then, he's worked maybe a total of 8 nonconsecutive months at different jobs. He also crashed his car so now they share hers. They share hers. Even though she's the only one who works, pays for it, pays insurance, etc.

So now she's supporting her almost teenager and one 30-something year old man on one paycheck. She was also paying off his medical debt from "his ex frequently 5150ed him"

No, Coffee never shared the reason(s) why Dust's ex was having him committed. Take it how you will. I don't know anything else about it other than it happened both during and after the relationship.

So then Coffee and Dust got married. At the time, several people asked Coffee if this was a good idea and she just seemed completely blinded by him. She thought he shit rainbows and butterflies and didn't understand why everyone else in her life thought he was a bum. She complained to the GC about other people doing it frequently that we all felt bad and also stopped trying to convince her not to marry him. At the end of the day, she was an adult.

Today, she told the GC she's going to lose her parents condo and all three of them are going to have to move in with her grandmother, in a two bedroom house that's about 30 minutes from her work.

I feel so frustrated and devastated for her. Coffee is a good person who spent years building herself up to where she is today and taking care of everyone around her. And now because of some Dust in her life, everything came crumbling. In less than two fucking years.

I want to shake her and ask her what the point of keeping him around has been! What the hell has he added to her life that's worth losing everything else?? He leeched so much from her in so little time.

TL/DR: Some boring lump is ruining my friend financially and she's just going with the flow.

I’m a cis woman with a rad pixie cut and I can’t tell you how often at my public service job I get a “sir”. I always dress in florals, bright colors, jewelry. Also I have giant tits. I’m genuinely baffled.

Little kids ask “are you a boy or girl”, I say “girl”. Little kids are fine cause they are still learning the world.

I’m so tired. Give me your hilarious responses that I probably can’t say outloud cause I don’t want to get fired but it might make me feel better on the inside.

i’m in texas (houston suburb) and i recently saw a tiktok saying health classes needed to improve on this and i realize i never learned any of it. i live in one of the highest ranked districts for education in my city. i remember we were supposed to have a presentation on puberty in fifth grade but that’s when covid hit so it was skipped. we’re required to have a health credit to graduate high school but it was mostly on nutrition and a football coach “taught” it i.e. sit at his computer while we were on our phones and he gave out free hundreds no matter what, so no one did the work lol.

i think it’s so crazy how some areas have extensive education on this topic but i’m actually clueless at the age of 18 beyond the basic biology

In a survey of finance professionals, women in heavily male-dominated work environments were less willing than men to imagine admitting a mistake. They were also less likely to believe their workplace would treat mistakes as opportunities to learn.

What makes this interesting is that women were not significantly more likely than men to expect negative consequences, yet they were still more reluctant to admit mistakes in male-dominated workplaces.

The researchers suggest that workplace culture and psychological safety may help explain the difference, although the study couldn't establish why it exists.

I left the house late today and had to walk up to the market. It was just around sunset when I left, but there was still 30 minutes of light left. Enough for me to get to the market.

A portion of my walk is along a main road. It’s a four lane road, flanked by the back walls of the subdivisions, and one empty field. Two lanes on each side with a center region which is sometimes a left turn lane and sometimes a virtual island, bike lanes on the side, then sidewalks. It’s not extremely busy, but at times, gets enough traffic that I often have to wait to for a few cars to pass to cross.

There’s not any parking along the side of the road. If you pull to the side, you are a quarter in the bike lane and three quarters in the driving lane.

So I was walking along, passing the field, and traffic was sparse, but along comes this big black pickup truck with tinted windows in the opposite direction, passes me, does an instant U turn in the middle of the road and then pulls up alongside me. I ignore and keep walking, get a few feet ahead and it pulls up alongside me again, cracks the window but I don’t stop to try to see in because I have no business with this person and they have no legit business with me. They know me? No they don’t. Need directions? No they don’t.

I keep walking. A light turns green a few hundred feet away around the curve and more cars come along. This time the trucks stays where it is.

I turn the nearest corner into a subdivision and continue to my destination amongst the safety of the houses, looking back a few times.

It was dark by the time I left the market, and typically I’d go back the same way because it’s generally safer, but not this time. This time I took the other way, walking up the dark, narrow sidewalk of the street on the other side of the block, in case the truck was still there by the field waiting for me.

When I got home, I didn’t tell my father what happened. He already flips out at the thought of me leaving the house if there’s a chance I won’t be home before it starts to get dark.

I won’t tell my brother because he thinks women are too cautious, and he’ll think I’m over reacting and that my detour was unnecessary.

My father and brother exist at opposite ends of a spectrum of men, yet to both, I will somehow be wrong.

Wrong doing something completely normal like running to the market, and wrong doing something completely reasonable like taking steps to protect myself in the face of a perceived threat.

That’s the thing about living life as female. Somehow, doing the ordinary, doing the reasonable, encountering misfortune. Somehow it always puts us in the wrong.

Apologies for the long post, I can't stop thinking about this and decided to put it in writing.

Back in school, there was this girl. She was a few years older than me, and I disliked her for no particular reason.

I was shy around people I didn't know very well, and always tried my best not to be noticed. She was the opposite.

Every single school activity, volunteering, student board meetings, sports, talent shows, she was there. Everyone at school knew who she was, but I don't recall ever seeing her hanging out with friends. She was talkative and would interact with people who happened to be doing the same activity as her, but looking back, I don't think she was particularly liked by anyone. She wasn't friendly, she was stubborn and always spoke her mind, sometimes, in my opinion, rather harshly.

But she wasn't my classmate and while I knew about her, I was young and honestly didn't care enough to interpret why I, or anyone else for that matter, disliked her.

One particular instance that I remember was a picture of herself she posted on Facebook. She was wearing a skirt and you could see she hadn't shaved her legs. A classmate of hers, male, commented something stupid telling her to shave and she went off on him with a massive wall of text in response. I don't remember what she said, but little me thought it was completely out of line and rude of her to "attack him" that way (stupid, I know). My reasoning was, if people already don't like you, don't make it worse by offending them.

Years later, when I was in my last year of high school and she had already graduated, I saw her in line at a concert, she was with her boyfriend and looked very much in love with him.

My stupid brain was shocked she had actually found a boyfriend, but then rationalized it by thinking he was ugly and that was probably why he "put up with her".

After that day, years passed, I moved away, matured (thankfully) and today Instagram showed me her profile in the "people you may know" section. Curious, I clicked on it and all the memories from me disliking her in school came back.

She looks like a woman now, not like the kid I knew back in school. I suppose I do, too.

We are both artists, we both have mostly pet pictures on our profiles, and we both don't post much.

Looking back, she was always true to herself, she spoke her mind and did not put up with anyone's bullshit. I guess being outspoken made her seem abrasive and harsh to me.

That girl was not my friend, not my classmate, I should have been ambivalent towards her, but apparently somewhere along the line I learned that women who behaved like her were annoying and rude, that she should have diminished herself to be likeable.

Her latest Instagram post is from about a year and a half ago, she had moved in with her boyfriend to their first house, and the caption was "After hours of moving boxes in the rain, we can finally say we own this place! Life is good" , and truly, from the bottom of my heart, I hope it continues to be good for her for many years to come.

So I had a 5th date the other day, the 4th date we slept together for the first time. 5th date we went to the cinema and I chilled at his again, he is ever so caring and funny and kind. He cooked me dinner and we did sleep together again. The sex was great.

I thought it was a good sign that the next day, he wanted to go spend the next day with me. So he took me on a walk to his favourite spot, holding my hand, kissing me lots. He took me for breakfast and honestly the way he looked at me across the table I just felt so desired. It was a lovely day and we sat on a bench having deep chats. We went back to his flat again but didn’t sleep together again but were dancing round his flat singing songs and laughing

When I went home, I sent him a text message thanking him but he didn’t reply. I was a bit confused. By Wednesday I still hadn’t heard from him, he sent me in the evening a video of him playing a song on piano and singing but when I replied he didn’t reply.

On Friday I asked him if he want to go and get coffee Saturday morning. He said he was too tired. I haven’t heard from him since

How can a guy immediately go from being all romantic and into you on a date to acting this way?

Wondering if other women have noticed this phenomenon , or if it’s just something that's always happened and it's nothing new.

I grew up with a brother (older than me) who has always had issues with cruelty. He wasn't someone with aspd but just extremely insecure and wanted to dominate since childhood. He occasionally sees a psychiatrist and has received mental health treatment, but his behaviour has only gotten worse over the years.

One thing I've noticed is that he started consuming a lot of anti-feminist content online and over time his attitudes towards women became increasingly hostile. He started parroting the usual nonsense about how women should obey men, how men deserve respect simply for being men, etc. Etc. Then later using physical violence on me when I offended him.

He's always been violent towards me, but what really scares me is that he's now physically abusing our mother.

I'm 26 now and he is 30.

My mom is elderly, physically frail, and constantly walking on eggshells around him. She's genuinely afraid of her own son. I recently found out that he's hit her several times when I wasn't home, but she never told me.

Things escalated again recently after an argument about seeking treatment. She mentioned that he should see a doctor and that word "doctor" triggered him, he kept barking at her and backed her into a corner and slapped her. The situation got so bad that our entire family had to intervene. I rushed in to defend her and ended up hitting him with a hairbrush because I was afraid of seriously hurting him if I grabbed something else. He took me down and tried to strangle me and my mom pleaded he stopped. Even my dad, who's in his 60s, had to get involved.

I keep telling her that walking on eggshells around him isn't sustainable and that he needs to get out of our house .

What made me want to post this was a recent interaction I had with another woman on Reddit. She mentioned that her brother had started expressing very misogynistic views, and her experience sounded familiar. Her brother also eventually directed violence towards their own mothers.

Not claiming that the internet alone made my brother violent. He had aggression issues long before any of this, and I grew up in a household where corporal punishment was considered acceptable. It mostly came from my dad but it doesn't happen anymore. Aside from this everyone in my family at the moment is very calm and non aggressive. I have another older brother who is the eldest in our family and he didn't turn out like this. He is incredibly calm and respectful but he does not live with us any more.

But I can't help wondering whether online misogyny is giving already aggressive men another justification for abusing women.

It also makes me wonder whether this is an age-related phenomenon. Are we simply noticing more violence because our brothers now can physically overpower their aging parents? Or is there genuinely something changing in how some men view and treat the women closest to them because of online misogyny??

American here.

I just wanna say out loud that I’m pissed off.

For my entire life I’ve had health insurance whether my own or thru my parents. By the kindness of the universe I’ve had good health and very few issues.

HOWEVER

Now that I am a contract employee, with no insurance and no benefits… now is when I start having health issues and could actually benefit from diagnostic bloodwork, mental health care, etc. and now I can’t afford it.

I hate it here. Something is wrong with me and I can’t afford to get it looked at. And I make too much to qualify for Medicaid.

I am tired of hearing them have temper tantrums and yell and be immature and I'm supposed to forgive them and baby them

Ugghh...

I feel like the love I receive as a woman in my family is completely conditional. I've always had this feeling that nobody is genuinely happy to see me. Nobody really talks to me or seems to enjoy having me around.

It always feels like I'm valued for what I do for them: the food I prepare, the times I visit to bathe their dogs when they haven't been washed in days, the times I do their hair, bring cakes, organize birthday parties, and plan family holidays. I'm always doing something for someone.

But it never feels like they're interested in me as a person, the way they seem to be with my male cousins. They can simply show up and exist, and that's enough. Meanwhile, I feel like I have to earn my place in the family by being useful.

I genuinely believe this might be related to my gender, and I think this is a common experience for women in many families. But whenever I try to talk about it, nobody listens. They make me feel like I'm crazy for even suggesting it.

I'm not asking for special treatment. I just want to feel loved for who I am, not for what I can do for other people. I want to feel like my presence is enough.

I'm tired of feeling like I have to earn love through acts of service, and I just want to hear some reassuring words from another woman who understands what I'm talking about.

Hi, Found this on a anti sex industry account on instagram, it’s from a 2025 study and I’ve translated it from Swedish down below (the statistics is from people who has been filmed in the Swedish porn industry):

• 84% had PTSD
• 65% were raped when filmed for porn
• 69% had attempted at least one Suicide attempt
• 77% was exploited for the first time in porn as children
• 88% was subjected to sexual assault as children
• 96% was subjected to assault/abuse as children
• 51% had been choked during the production
• 33% had been tortured during the production
• 45% had some form of disability
• 86% had been part of "traditional" prostitution (Source: Donevan, Jonsson, & Svedin 2025 https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/epdf/10.1080/08039488.2025.2464634?needAccess=true)

And these statistics are from Sweden, a so called “equal” country where “buying sex” is illegal. (Sorry if something is unclear or grammatically incorrect)

That 25, 40, etc, year-old man does not love you. Nor does he think you are " mature for your age." He dates minors because he is emotionally stunted. Women his own age know he has nothing of value to offer. (I know this is a repost; it should be posted often.)