Men have the subtlety and nuance of a sledgehammer
I'm dipping my toe back into dating a bit and realizing again why I left.
I want to flirt with a man. I want to make jokes and laugh. I want to slowly build up to increasing amounts of intimacy. I want winks from across the room and hand holding and the brushing of legs under tables as I get to know someone. I want anticipation to build until it boils over.
Instead I get compliments about my physical anatomy over dating apps that would obviously not be said by a sane person if they were meeting someone for the first time in a bar. I get unrequested information about his bodily reaction to me before I know his last name. I get offered sex that feels pulled directly from an adult video with no authentic passion or romance. And it. turns. me. off.
I was married for 10 years and had sex nearly every day. I know my sex drive is healthy to say the least. I do enjoy kink and experimentation. But I cannot speed run intimacy the way that men seem to expect and when I try to slow things down I get labeled as a prude. It's wildly frustrating.
I've been single since my divorce - that was about 8 years ago - and I miss a lot of the elements of being in a partnership. If I could only find a man who was patient and whose sexuality involved a little subtlety I'd settle down again. I guess if those men ever existed they seem to have gone extinct.
My friends are mostly settled and they really don't understand what I mean when I say that the average single man's sexuality feels more predatory than seductive but I know it can't be just me.
Are we all having this same experience?