r/autism

I just got my results back after days of testing from the psychologist and she diagnosed me with level 2 autism and adhd with generalized anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. I am struggling to understand how level 2 autism could have been missed all my life- I'm 31 years old. I am heartbroken that I didn't receive proper help growing up despite my mother trying very hard, taking me to professionals all my life to try to get answers as to what was happening with me. It was very overwhelming and has been quite a lot to digest.

She was going over all my test results in great detail with me and she eventually reached the iq test, which I didn't want to take in the first place and was extremely upset when I found out I was taking it. All my life I've been told by teachers, peers, family, associates etc that my intelligence level was well above average and as silly as it sounds it's something that means so much to me and is a core part of my identity and sense of self. She told me my intelligence was average except I think one section that I scored higher in and it completely shattered me and I have not stopped crying since she told me. I have always struggled with self-esteem and had low confidence all my life but my intelligence is something I've always felt secure about and has been the one thing l've taken great pride it. I feel like she just destroyed the last piece of my identity I had left after finding out so much about myself today and I don't know where to go from here.

How can everyone that's known me all my life have been so sure I was highly intelligent, teachers and counselors, and then the iq test shows I'm average intelligence? I feel heartbroken, can anyone explain this to me?

I researched a little about hyperfixation but what I understood is that it's more about obsessing with a hobby or activity, which has happened to me before, but can it also be directed at a person? I ask because I wonder if you can confuse a crush with hyperfixation, because with having a neuro-atypical brain it can be challenging for me to figure out if certain things are just average human behaviour or the adhd/autism acting up.

I'm not sure if this is an autism thing, but I've never understood other people's fixation on drugs and especially alcohol. They glamourize drinking a lot or not being able to get through a complicated situation (or just socializing) without drinking, and it never registered to me. It's absolutely wild to me how normalized binge-drinking is, as if it is something natural and normal. I myself don't like drinking - I think 99% of alcohol tastes like shit. Not to mention how problematic it is to normalize and glamourize genuine addictions.

I'd love to hear your stories about your experiences with bullies. I'll start with my story:

I got diagnosed at 39 because my therapist suspected that my "best friend" was actually a bully. He told me, "Autistic children have a hard time deciphering between a friend or a bully. This is happening here, you are basically on the playground and a bully is taking advantage of you. You can't pick up on the cues."

She said all the right things. She texted me all the time to check in. We would go on a weekly lunch, every Wednesday. She told me I was one of her best friends.

She also asked me for money. For car repairs, for vacations, for rent. And I paid it every time, because I thought that's what best friends do. Best friends are there for each other. I didn't have a sibling growing up, so she was like my sister.

I didn't believe my therapist. "She would never!" I thought. He challenged me by asking me to set one boundary with her, and that would reveal her true colors.

I said no once.

Then my world started crumbling around me. She contacted everyone I knew, all our mutual friends including people I introduced her to, and started spreading rumors about me. Just from the one no, after 5 years of being "best friends".

That was 2 years ago. Two years of grieving, of figuring out how to move forward and learn how to trust people again.

What are your stories? What are your experiences with bullies? Were you younger when you had one or a little older when you had one? How did you set boundaries or move on from them?

He was over installing a bidet on my toilet and he broke apart of it and I rent so I was scared I would get evicted so I started panicking and had to excuse myself to go cry in another room.

She started acting very cold toward me but she didnt say anything. She told me i could get my hopes up about my situation and that he knew about my autism and that he was understanding. He didnt say anyhting but afterwards he must've said something because afterwards my mom says I have to apologize to him for overreacting and for being no help when fixing the toilet.

She also that im a bad host for rushing her out the door and not offering them anything to drink and nit making small talk although I just moved out of her house and im very poor so I have no furniture and the drinking water is not safe to drink.

She also knows im autistic and that im not very aware of social situations.

She also told me i could look at gary as my new father figure onky to be told I embarrassed her and that he doesnt know me like that ?

I really really hate her right now i was kinda missing her after moving out but every time she comes and vists she reminds me of why I moved out.

I really really dont wanna apologize to him at all honestly so I just might avoid him until can get my PC dropped off since im still moving in.

Idk what to do this really ruined my whole week.

Any advice?

I love being clean but find it hard

My daughter is 7yo and is on the heavier(?) side of the spectrum. I believe she is like most kids her age but she does have her moments. She loves to read, building legos, painting, videogames, telling jokes, etc. if anything she’s just a little nerdier than other kids but im a huge nerd so it probably comes from me rather than it being an autistic trait.

We were watching Ponyo a few weeks back and she recognized the Dunkleosteus and even told me from what time period it was from.

Anyways, yesterday there was a car accident on our usual route to school. Traffic was a little backed up so we got to school later than usual. She was starting to stress out because she was gonna be late to school, i told her it was fine and the teacher would understand. Atp i had already lost her cause she kept on looking at her watch and groaning.

As soon as we arrived to her school she rolled down her window and yelled for her teacher to wait cause the first bell had just rang. As as i was opening her door she got down and almost ran across the street while cars were passing by. I dropped everything and grabbed her with both arms. She started screaming, “Let me go! Don’t touch me!” and she scratched my arms trying to remove them.

I eased my grip and held her until she calmed down. She noticed the scratches on my forearm and she said sorry. I told her to not worry about it and to just never run across the street like that. I told her we would talk about it later that night but to have fun at school.

It didn’t hit me until later how the situation might be misinterpreted. I am Afro-Latino and my wife is Caucasian, our daughter looks Caucasian. Our daughter goes to a school with majority Caucasian community. One wrong call and idk if I would’ve made it home that day.

I don’t think my daughter is ready for that race talk, yet. What I’m more worried about is her inability to be flexible with rules and acting as if rules are set in stone.

Could DnD serve as a tool to help her deal with problems that have no clear solutions? Or just to deal with the chaos of unexpected events?

Also any tips on helping her deal with the chaos of life are very much appreciated.

Tips would be appreciated thank you :)

I'm excellent at reading people, at gleaning information from what they say and reading between the lines. I have been told it's a little scary, that I can read people like a book, and, though she said she was joking, was once told I was almost like a psychopath, or some kind of hyper-intelligent machine or something. She desccribed me to a friend as beinig unusally gifted at social interactions, in respnose to her friend stating all autistic people suck at social stuff.

My issue comes with understanding emotions fully: not recognising them, but understanding why someone is sad, or angry. I sometimes confuse emotions to a ridiculous degree when stressed, too. I do not get these social interactions correct, either.

I am fully diagnosed, and 'obviously autistic' in other ways. I just wondered if other autistic people find they are 'good' at social stuff, or if it is as rare as media would have us believe.

I work in retail, and honestly I dislike being asked 30+ times a day "How are you?" when greeting people. It feels like being held socially hostage.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, you?"

"Good."

-and then they walk away. No point in it whatsoever. The same generic response over and over and over.

Even when I just greet people with "Hello guys!" they will immediately bark out "GOOD, YOU?" and I'm left feeling awkward.

Ive tried to use different replies, spice it up, but it seems everyone (mostly older folk) default to this exchange all the time. I hate it.

This is my friend from elementary school who said this to me after my daughter died.

“ I mean this with so much love.... You know how hard nannying is? Mothering is harder. More thankless too. I know me telling you this will likely just piss you off, but the freedom you have is what every mother wishes she had. Every single one”

I didn’t respond.

She has since reached out saying “I hope you’re ok”.

everything about going to other people’s houses makes me so uncomfortable. it’s important for relationship building and stuff but just… ugh lol

Sound trucks, police sirens, ambulances, and motorcycles these are the things that easily stress me out; they really irritate my brain.

I also get stressed and anxious when I'm waiting in lines or when someone keeps repeating the same things in my head, but I don't get aggressive.

I began watching The Good Doctor mainly because of the main character (I have aspergers syndrome) and I personally really like this representation.

I really like how he struggles to understand social cues and how he struggles to express his feelings in emotional situations. I also really like the sincerity of Freddie Highmore's character.

What do you guys think?

Growing up, I always felt like I am surrounded by people who think playing sports or playing games like Madden is the "cool thing". Bring up somethint like the arts, or anything unique and creative, and they act like they don't seem to care about the subject. The point is, I actually was never into sports because i was never good at it. In times where I attepted to play just to fit in, I mess up severly and I end up feeling very embarrassed after the fact.

I have no desire to get married or have kids. No desire to own a car. Dont want to own property. Don't want to be a manager.

I feel like a weirdo for not wanting what were supposed to chase.

I'm more excited about a week off and getting snacks and a tv show to watch

I recently stated collage to study psychology I told one of my proffesors I am autistic and dyslexic bc I trusted her and she promised she won't tell anyone oh how wrong I was she proceeded to undermine me talk over me whenever people interacted with me by yelling "she's special" I was like huh?? So??? I can handle things myself but I didn't say anything. Then she started calling me 'honey' in a sweet sorry voice with sympathy???? I ofc didn't like that tooo I wanted to tell her I only had level 1 and to stop treating me like I could do nothing??? To make it worser while we where all waiting for hrs she told me to scream and make an issue bc I am autistic so they can leave I am sorry what??? How can I undo this!! Help!!! 😭😭

I told her it would be nice if she could repeat the running notes bc I couldn't catch up with the rest I feel bad for telling her at all I am panicking I hate being treated this way that's the reason I told her I was autistic and dyslexic I could seriously use advice asap I can't handle her anymore she gives me more anxiety then any notes could ever give

I am into home renovations/maintainance, and I feel like I need to have all Dewalt brand tools. I think this comes from watching home renovation shows and seeing that is this is the brand that often got used on the show. I'm not sure if this is an autism related thing?

M24. It geniounly the worst thing ever. I've flunked mulitple tests and barely passed in high school.

It’s either lights or the sun in my face that gets to me I even have my blinds down all day so the room is nice and dim for my eyes.