u/IceMosquito073

I'm autistic (and recently finding out I'm what's called "Demisexual"), so flirting has never been something that I liked doing, nor have I liked it when girls I don’t know flirt with me.

Plus I literally mentally can't perceive a women as physically beautiful *unless* I already developed chemistry with them so I never really felt the urge to approach and start flirting, and I'm too scared of shaking up or altering the platonic friendship with my female friends to start flirting with them instead.

Sometimes I wish I was neurotypical and heterosexual in the average-joe way without being Demi ontop of that.

Hey, so this is a follow-up to this post I made earlier where I asked about growing my hair out as s devotional act. I wanted to ask how I started. Do I pray and establish to the God(s) that I'm going to start growing it out as a devotional thing? Or if so, how do I do that?

I saw four Gods mainly mentioned under that post (Apollo, Dionysus, Aphrodite, and Ares), and I might devote it to all four (if I can) as I already pray to Apollo and Dionysus and have been wanting to have Ares and Aphrodite there too. Do I pray and offer to all four in one go (praying at my altar and to all four and making a big one-size-fits-all offering to establishment it) or do I have to individualize the establishment of the devotional act to each one?

So, I’m doing a Super-hero universe set during WWII which I already posted about here, and one of the characters in my main "team" is meant to be a spoof of Wonder Woman, just like the other hero characters are spoofs of other Marvel and DC characters who canonically served in WWII (so, there's a Captain America spoof who's a Genetically modify super-soldier with a boy-scouts morality, there’s a spoof of Jay Garrick's Flash, there’s a spoof of Wolverine, etc.,)

I have my Wonder Woman inspired warrior Woman character, but who's lifted more from the Religio Romana as opposed to Greek Mythology. My backstory for her goes like:

> Eleanor Fleck is the Demi-Goddess daughter of the Roman Goddess of Victory, Victoria, and a mortal American man who served in the first world war. While on campaign in the first world war, in Italy at the Battle of Vittorio Veneto, the father managed to seduce and flirt with a local in Italy into sleeping with him. Little did he know that it was literally a Goddess from Ancient Rome, Victoria, and that this one-night-stand would produce an offspring. A few years after coming home from surviving the first world war, The Goddess appeared to him in her Divine form to reveal that she wasn’t human, and to tell the man that he now has a daughter that Victoria can't take care of/can't relate to because she's fully god and the daughter is half mortal. > > Despite being conceived in 1918, Eleanor would be born in 1925 because divine pregnancies are almost always weird (look at Dionysus being conceived in Zeus’s thigh). > > Raised in Delaware in the Inter-war period by her single father, Eleanor would grow up as a normal girl. She’d find out her divine heritage later in life at, and when WWII came and her father was eligible for the draft again, she knew he couldn’t handle going to war again (though they didn’t have the words for it at the time in the 1940’s, her father had severe PTSD from the first world war and psychologically couldn’t handle going back to war), so Eleanor pulled a Mulan and offered herself up for the draft as well, being placed in the 121st special infantry company (the military unit all my Hero characters are in) as a Demi-goddess Corporal. > > Eleanor would take up her mother’s weapons and battle suit (and look like a spoof of wonder woman) which Victoria left Eleanor's father knowing that the time would come when she discovered who she and her mother actually were. As a combatant, she is the biggest pacifist in her squad, going out of her way to take as nany Prisoners of War and hostages as she could instead of killing the enemy, and would fight to force surrender as opposed to fighting to kill.

I want to do a modernized take on wonder woman's original purpose and character, but done a bit differently. Instead of a whole elaborate "Mythology" where she's from a paradise Island and came to man's world as a messenger (Diana), Eleanor is far more ""human"" and far more entrenched into "man's world" (as she was raised by a single father, so "man's world" could be read quite literally), who went to war as a protector (mainly her father who's time in WWI left him broken, scared, and lost his "spine" so to speak) and to defend others who can’t defend themselves much like her father. This is also consistent with Wonder Woman's motivation (minus the single father bit).

In keeping with the original Wonder Woman costume, I want to go with a costume inspired by the classic leotard costume of original wonder woman or the new 52 costume. How can I make that distinct from the Greek inspired look of Diana Prince and make it either Roman or specifically Victorian (relating to the Goddess, not the English time period)? And what suggestions would you make for her Hero name?

So, I’ve been wanting to grow my hair out for a while now (two attempts now) for aesthetic reasons (always wanted to try ponytails or man-buns, I think I could rock that look), but I always cave in to cutting it around the summer when it's at that "too long but not long enough" length cause I have thick hair and it gets hot and my AuDHD kicks in and I impulsively cut it and immediately regretting it after. And it's especially frustrating because if I did have man-buns or a ponytail, then the heat wouldn't be an issue cause it's all not in my face!

I thought about growing it out as a devotional thing primarily so I can get a feeling of external regulation—similar to how having an altar in my bedroom gives me incentive to clean and dust my room to make it "presentable" to the gods when I pray and offer.

So, I'm growing my hair out primarily for myself, and only really wanting to make it a devotional thing for that extra bit of mental checking to remind myself "don't do it" next time the impulse comes back.

Which God can I grow it out as a devotional act to?

So, I’m currently trying to learn and teach myself how to draw so I can eventually do a graphic novel. And I was going to make a Super-hero series set during WWII as a "spoof" of that sub-genre of Super-hero media (like how Invincible is a spoof of the villain-of-the-day format but done so as a serialized story, or how My Hero Academia is a take on the "Hero school" trope from, say, X-Men).

I thought of doing something similar to that, but specifically for the "Super-heros in WWII" kind of sub-genre. So I have a character who’s inspired by Captain America, and another who’s Wonder Woman, a spoof of Jay Garrick's Flash, a spoof of Wolverine, etc.,

One of the major villains I was planning was a Spoof of the Red Skull, but also predominantly inspired by The Major from Hellsing Ultimate.

My backstory for this character was that he was 18 and a freshly drafted youth from an Aristocratic family into late-stage WWI, and suffered PTSD and was so traumatized and shook by late WWI that his brain kinda fried itself and he's now an enthusiastic and overly bombastic and dramatic warmonger who loves the horrors of war with a Sado-massochistic passion (like The Major). And in the inter-war period, he Joined the Waffen Schutzstaffel, rose to the rank of Öbergruppenführer (the same canonical Rank as Red Skull) and became head of Nazi Germany's Super-hero program making, organizing, and training Meta-Human soldiers for the Nazi regime.

However, I fear his personality is lifted too much from Hellsing's Major. Hell, I even wrote him giving a similar "I love war" speech to his men shortly after recieving Hitler's Nero Decree orders.

What are some things that I could either add or change to make him feel less plageristic of Hellsing? Or am I worrying over nothing?

So, I’m about 21 right now and looking to go back to school/to university as a mature learner. I remember that I used to love robots and wanted to get into robotics when I was in Elementary and Middle School, but through a combination of my schools not really having robotics clubs and ADHD making motivation hard to try pursuing it after the fact, I lost interest.

I wanted to see if it’s right for me and to see if I should pursue old dreams, so I wanted to ask if there are ways to try it out that are either free or not too expensive so I will know if it’s up my alley or not before I try for mature student programs at any kind of postsecondary.

Butcher Hero: World Eater – My Hero Academia X Warhammer 40,000

Summary:

> Angron was a slave. Born and raised in gladiatorial pits for the entertainment of villains and criminals alike, and implanted with devices known as the Butcher’s Nails after he manifested a pain relieving quirk, fighting and killing was all he has ever known. Now rescued after a botched uprising by the Hero, Midnight, he walks the halls of UA High, pursuing a new purpose to fight, and a purpose other than fighting. > > *no pre-existing knowledge of Warhammer 40,000 is required, as I took a lot of steps to make sure all characters fit the worldbuilding and setting of My Hero Academia, so they might as well be OCs that you’re meeting for the first time. However, there will be a lot of inside jokes and references for my fellow Warhammer fans.

Was thinking of writing a fic based on a ship where the characters start dating, things get in the way and not really work out that well, and they break up on good terms (there's no backstabbing, or cheating, or heartbreak going on, they genuinely weren’t the right fit for each other and go their own ways while still bring friends/returning to being platonic friends).

Something bitter-sweet.

Which ship do you guys think would best fit that general outline? (Has to be canon compliant, so nothing involving Midoriya or Uraraka, as they're already with each other—ain't gonna ship them with anyone else).

E.g., the Dot-Com bubble of the 90's, the Housing market of the 08 crisis, and now with the AI bubble about to burst.

I know the theory and how it works, but afaik, it's about money and investments. You have large industries or markets going up and down or crashing, but *economy wide* failure, as far as my understanding of the theory goes, can mostly be explained by system-wide malinvestment through inflation and through artificial interest rates.

But how do single industries (the internet, housing, and now AI) cause the entire economy to grind to a hault when their bubbles burst?

I don’t pray often because I’m ADHD, so getting the motivation to pray more than once in a while isn’t really there.

Intellectually and rhetorically, I know this is fine and that I shouldn’t worry too much about that and the Gods themselves are fine with how I’m taking things.

But interms of feelings, I still feel like I’m not doing enough, not praying often, blah, blah, etc., etc.,

Does anyone have advice for how to overcome or fully get rid of the feelings? Or I it something thst never fully goes away?

So, a few days ago I made [this post on r/Autism about gender](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/s/lbhCDmUz0P\], and a few people under it were saying that it sounded like I might be non-binary. And a close IRL friend who I showed the post with and told some other of me feelings about this to also said it sounded like I might be Non-Binary.

So I came here to ask for some second opinions and thoughts to bounce off of and help me figure things out for myself.

To give basically a run-down on everything:

So, I’m an autistic, ADHD man. I feel like a cis man, and my hobbies and interests all seem very man-coded (at least stereotypically) like wargaming, model collecting, an interest in military history, etc.,.

However, if I were to describe myself, even if I’m just talking to myself about myself, I never really describe myself as *masculine*. And wven when I try to use that adjective, it just *actively* makes me uncomfortable.

And it's not just for "toxic masculinity" and that stuff. The stuff most of us in our culture are bombarded with and some naturally assume masculinity is by default. I also feel uncomfortable with describing myself as "positive masculinity".

Like, I don’t feel like either kind at all and neither feel particularly aspirational.

Idk if that’s just me or if it's "part of my autism" or I-don't-know-how-to-phrase-it.

Another thing is that I’m pretty insecure about my body, but in a weird opposite direction than most. I’m 5'6, but sometimes I feel like I'm too tall, I have naturally broad and bulky shoulders, but I wish I had a smaller frame. I often worry about feeling like I'm too "imposing" a presence. I regularly shave my beard and everything below the waist because I feel like that body and facial hair looks animalistic and I like the smoothness.

I look at media, usually romance, or fantasy, e.g., Prince saving Princess, and I think "I wish I was her and that I had a stronger-and-taller-than-me girlfriend to just carry me in her arms and make me feel smaller, safe to be vulnerable, and protected.

I have had not just one, but 2 different times in my short 21 years alive where I have seriously questioned and debated if I was transgender, and the "aspirational gaze" of my "male gaze" (if that makes sense) was strangely directed towards the kind of men you see in Shoujo or even yaoi than the usual "Superman/Wolverine" type physique culture tends to rotate around.

Seems pretty long winded and disorganized stream of consciousness, I'm sorry.

I like to listen to music when engaging in my hobbies like Table-Top miniature painting, writing, and drawing. And hell, even going on walks and visualising the characters in my writing doing stuff in scenes so I can write it all down when I get home from said walk.

For an example, If I'm painting an Iron Warrior's mini for Warhammer 40,000, or writing a scene for my creative fiction writing set in a trench battle or something industrial like that, I will put something on like Dam Top by Jesper Kyd, Propaganda (Von Stroheim Theme) by Taku Iwasaki, Unshakable March by Cephei MC, Hell March by Frank Klepacki, or Polemos by Mick Gordon, to name a few examples from my playlist.

And other "themed" playlists for other hobbies and projects. And for some reason, I find it hard (but not necessarily impossible for me) to listen to music in any other way, like having "mood playlists" for how I'm feeling---I rarely if ever make playlists like that.

Anyone else find themselves doing that kind of thing with their hobbies? Like listening to Peer Gynt Suite No. 1 if you're a gardener or like going on nature hikes as another example?