u/No-Atmosphere-6807

I know there are A LOT of topics covering autistic burnout in some way, shape or form (which painfully illustrates how big of a problem it is) but I haven’t really found some specific advice yet on how to properly deal with skill regression.

Some context: I think I have been in and out of autistic burnout since 2018, due to various reasons, some of which I have control over and a lot I have no control over.

I already know that the main thing to battle autistic burnout is to basically ‘choose you’: rest, stimming, unmasking whenever possible, engaging in special interest, eating well, maybe some exercise etc.

I know those things and I really try to do it, but as you’ll all know, it’s not always easy. I am self-employed and I don’t have the bandwidth financially to take time off to look after myself, but luckily I have some flexibility since I’m self employed. I also have an almost 2 year old daughter, a partner, a husky, a household and garden etc so mom duty and household duty have to go on obviously.

So my biggest problem right now, apart from absurdly intense fatigue, is skill regression. And I mean pretty severe skill regression.

I have severe memory problems, like some memories are completely gone. Not just not remembering and vaguely knowing when someone mentions it, but some memories being gone-gone.

I also struggle a lot harder than usual with focus. Normally, I can focus really well when I’m on site with one of my clients, but now it’s like my brain just operates on 15%. I even have a hard time explaining, where I’m usually quite good with words and explaining myself (reading this back, it seems like a toddler wrote this 🤣)

On top of that, I just can’t seem to see the bigger picture in like, anything. I don’t even know how to explain it (which, again, is part of the problem). I also get overwhelmed and stressed A LOT faster and more intensely than usual.

Short story long (😜), I am looking for advice on how to battle skill regression specifically. Like brain exercises I can do, certain foods to avoid or consume more of, things like that.

For extra context: I’m AuDHD, have some health issues, work as a freelance marketing manager/graphic designer/general creative consultancy/… I work from home as well as on-site with customers.

Any thoughts or advice? Thanks a bunch!

EDIT: I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU for taking the time to respond with great advice. It’s actually making me a little emotional tbh ❤️‍🩹

I’ve read it all, but I’m having a particularly exhausting day so my brain doesn’t seem to be processing it all correctly/completely 😅😂 going to rest now, but sure keep the tips coming!

EDIT 2: Daughter is having a sleepover at her grandparents tonight so I can have at least one decent night’s sleep and can sleep in a little tomorrow (I’m working from home tomorrow, but planning on doing the ABSOLUTE bare minimum). I already miss her little face so much, not having her around this evening, but I do know I will be able to be a better mother tomorrow because of it. And she adores her grandparents, so no problem there 🥰

I know there are A LOT of topics covering autistic burnout in some way, shape or form (which painfully illustrates how big of a problem it is) but I haven’t really found some specific advice yet on how to properly deal with skill regression.

Some context: I think I have been in and out of autistic burnout since 2018, due to various reasons, some of which I have control over and a lot I have no control over.

I already know that the main thing to battle autistic burnout is to basically ‘choose you’: rest, stimming, unmasking whenever possible, engaging in special interest, eating well, maybe some exercise etc.

I know those things and I really try to do it, but as you’ll all know, it’s not always easy. I am self-employed and I don’t have the bandwidth financially to take time off to look after myself, but luckily I have some flexibility since I’m self employed. I also have an almost 2 year old daughter, a partner, a husky, a household and garden etc so mom duty and household duty have to go on obviously.

So my biggest problem right now, apart from absurdly intense fatigue, is skill regression. And I mean pretty severe skill regression.

I have severe memory problems, like some memories are completely gone. Not just not remembering and vaguely knowing when someone mentions it, but some memories being gone-gone.

I also struggle a lot harder than usual with focus. Normally, I can focus really well when I’m on site with one of my clients, but now it’s like my brain just operates on 15%. I even have a hard time explaining, where I’m usually quite good with words and explaining myself (reading this back, it seems like a toddler wrote this 🤣)

On top of that, I just can’t seem to see the bigger picture in like, anything. I don’t even know how to explain it (which, again, is part of the problem). I also get overwhelmed and stressed A LOT faster and more intensely than usual.

Short story long (😜), I am looking for advice on how to battle skill regression specifically. Like brain exercises I can do, certain foods to avoid or consume more of, things like that.

For extra context: I’m AuDHD, have some health issues, work as a freelance marketing manager/graphic designer/general creative consultancy/… I work from home as well as on-site with customers.

Any thoughts or advice? Thanks a bunch!

EDIT: I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU for taking the time to respond with great advice. It’s actually making me a little emotional tbh ❤️‍🩹

I’ve read it all, but I’m having a particularly exhausting day so my brain doesn’t seem to be processing it all correctly/completely 😅😂 going to rest now, but sure keep the tips coming!

EDIT 2: Daughter is having a sleepover at her grandparents tonight so I can have at least one decent nights sleep and can sleep in a little tomorrow (I’m working from home tomorrow, but planning on doing the absolute bare minimum). I already miss her little face so much, not having her around this evening, but I do know I will be able to be a better mother tomorrow because of it. And she adores her grandparents, so no problem there 🥰

I know there are A LOT of topics covering autistic burnout in some way, shape or form (which painfully illustrates how big of a problem it is) but I haven’t really found some specific advice yet on how to properly deal with skill regression.

Some context: I think I have been in and out of autistic burnout since 2018, due to various reasons, some of which I have control over and a lot I have no control over.

I already know that the main thing to battle autistic burnout is to basically ‘choose you’: rest, stimming, unmasking whenever possible, engaging in special interest, eating well, maybe some exercise etc.

I know those things and I really try to do it, but as you’ll all know, it’s not always easy. I am self-employed and I don’t have the bandwidth financially to take time off to look after myself, but luckily I have some flexibility since I’m self employed. I also have an almost 2 year old daughter, a partner, a husky, a household and garden etc so mom duty and household duty have to go on obviously.

So my biggest problem right now, apart from absurdly intense fatigue, is skill regression. And I mean pretty severe skill regression.

I have severe memory problems, like some memories are completely gone. Not just not remembering and vaguely knowing when someone mentions it, but some memories being gone-gone.

I also struggle a lot harder than usual with focus. Normally, I can focus really well when I’m on site with one of my clients, but now it’s like my brain just operates on 15%. I even have a hard time explaining, where I’m usually quite good with words and explaining myself (reading this back, it seems like a toddler wrote this 🤣)

On top of that, I just can’t seem to see the bigger picture in like, anything. I don’t even know how to explain it (which, again, is part of the problem). I also get overwhelmed and stressed A LOT faster and more intensely than usual.

Short story long (😜), I am looking for advice on how to battle skill regression specifically. Like brain exercises I can do, certain foods to avoid or consume more of, things like that.

For extra context: I’m AuDHD, have some health issues, work as a freelance marketing manager/graphic designer/general creative consultancy/… I work from home as well as on-site with customers.

Any thoughts or advice? Thanks a bunch!

EDIT: I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU for taking the time to respond with great advice. It’s actually making me a little emotional tbh ❤️‍🩹

I’ve read it all, but I’m having a particularly exhausting day so my brain doesn’t seem to be processing it all correctly/completely 😅😂 going to rest now, but sure keep the tips coming!

EDIT 2: Daughter is having a sleepover at her grandparents tonight so I can have at least one decent nights sleep and can sleep in a little tomorrow (I’m working from home tomorrow, but planning on doing the absolute bare minimum). I already miss her little face so much, not having her around this evening, but I do know I will be able to be a better mother tomorrow because of it. And she adores her grandparents, so no problem there 🥰

Edit 3 because a lot of people are asking or mentioning other medical issues in some way: I have been diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 25 yo, at my first job, now 10 years ago. I’m not officially diagnosed with autism (yet) but I’m 101% sure and autism and ADHD are kind of like my hyperfixations/special interests so I sometimes know more about it than the actual specialists.

I got an official hEDS diagnosis while halfway pregnant with my daughter, I had a high-risk pregnancy because of it and I have hands down the best gynecologist in the whole world, I wish he (yes, he) could be my specialist for literally everything. He is actually the one who helped me get the hEDS diagnosis, he did SO MUCH research on it himself, it was truly heartwarming.

I am being seen by a neurologist for migraines and he suggested to get tested for POTS, he did a quick standing/lying down blood pressure test and he was already 90% sure I have POTS so there’s that.

I have been misdiagnosed several over the course of almost 20 years and I actually figures out all my correct diagnosis myself and only got them official after years and years of struggling. Probably some (c-)ptsd in there too.

I’m on Methylfenidate 54mg (which is a high dose) for ADHD, duloxetine 60mg for the hEDS pain and Redomex 25mg for the migraines.

I really hope I’m not in perimenopause yet as many of you suggested since I’m (only) 35yo and yearning to have at least one more kid in the near-ish future. I actually cried a little yesterday at the faint possibility of being in early perimenopause, since I’ve noticed some significant shifts in my cycle.

I’ve experienced a lot of micro-traumas as I call it through the years and I was in a toxic relationship for 15 years (from age 15 till just before my 30th birthday) so a lot to unpack there as well. Still healing from the way he treated me before, during and after the breakup. Still get nightmares about it sometimes. A lot of other micro-traumas too, nothing major, just a lot in the sense of a lot of different instances. Too much to get into 🥲 I’m generally really into self-improvement so I like to think that I have been healing my mental scars myself but obviously that’s a bit on the back burner now.

To wrap up: I’m really quite emotional (in the best possible way) by all your comments and advice, I love that there’s these online communities where people just try to be understanding and helpful, it really warms my heart and I can’t thank you enough. I’m going to reply to you all (gradually) once I’m feeling a little better. Had a good night’s sleep though 👌❤️‍🩹

I’ve been having chest pain on the left of my body, left arm, left shoulder en left side of my neck since yesterday morning (it’s now noon where I live).

I’ve been to the doctor yesterday after it didn’t go away after several hours despite stretching and resting.

It’s a little better than yesterday, but still painful with a sort of stabbing pain under my boob and in the center of my chest every now and then.

So I was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to get the pain to subside that isn’t taking painkillers. Like specific stretching, food or something.

Obviously I try to rest, keep calm and not do strenuous activities. Have to mention I have a two year old (now napping) and my partner is out of town for the weekend so complete bed rest isn’t an option.

For context: I have AuDHD, ehler-Danlos syndrome and probably POTS. I think I have been in Autistic burnout for quite some time now (multiple years). The last two weeks, I have been insanely tired and quite down for no apparent reason. I have been stressed for years, but nothing has really changed in the last few weeks, let alone in the last few days. I am on day 6 of my cycle (in case that matters for context). I am 35yo and fairly healthy besides the conditions mentioned above.

For context on doctor’s visit: doctor measured blood oxygen, listened to heart beat and checked muscle tension in neck, shoulder and chest. He didn’t do a cardiogram. No obvious signs of anemia and in my last blood test (maybe a month ago) I was only low on vitamine D (aren’t we all 🙃)

If you need more context before being able to give specific advice, don’t hesitate to ask, I’m an open book!

Thanks so much in advance!

I’ve been having chest pain on the left of my body, left arm, left shoulder en left side of my neck since yesterday morning (it’s now noon where I live).

I’ve been to the doctor yesterday after it didn’t go away after several hours despite stretching and resting.

It’s a little better than yesterday, but still painful with a sort of stabbing pain under my boob and in the center of my chest every now and then.

So I was wondering if anyone had some advice on how to get the pain to subside that isn’t taking painkillers. Like specific stretching, food or something.

Obviously I try to rest, keep calm and not do strenuous activities. Have to mention I have a two year old (now napping) and my partner is out of town for the weekend so complete bed rest isn’t an option.

For context: I have AuDHD, ehler-Danlos syndrome and probably POTS. I think I have been in Autistic burnout for quite some time now (multiple years). The last two weeks, I have been insanely tired and quite down for no apparent reason. I have been stressed for years, but nothing has really changed in the last few weeks, let alone in the last few days. I am on day 6 of my cycle (in case that matters for context). I am 35yo and fairly healthy besides the conditions mentioned above.

For context on doctor’s visit: doctor measured blood oxygen, listened to heart beat and checked muscle tension in neck, shoulder and chest. He didn’t do a cardiogram. No obvious signs of anemia and in my last blood test (maybe a month ago) I was only low on vitamine D (aren’t we all 🙃)

If you need more context before being able to give specific advice, don’t hesitate to ask, I’m an open book!

Thanks so much in advance!

Edit to add that stress and muscle tension where doctor’s official diagnosis, not my own guessing

I have diagnosed ADHD and self-diagnosed autism (but I’m 300% sure)

I think I have been on and off in autistic burnout for more or less 8 years. Seems silly, but when my grandfather died in 2018, it seemed to have set off a series of ‘bad luck’ that pretty much hasn’t ended yet.

With bad luck I mean certain negative life events that are not extremely traumatic in itself but are things that just happen in life (like grandparents dying) but that seem to happen in quick succession so you don’t really get a moment to catch your breath. They just keep following one after the other.

(Note: that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have good things happen to me in the last 8 years. I’ve been together with an amazing partner for almost five years, we have the most adorable little toddler, I have two awesome best friends and so on)

A few examples of ‘bad luck’: both my grandfather and my then boyfriend’s grandfather dying in the same week, two other funerals of people we didn’t know so well a few weeks later (so no real sadness for us, but still 2 funerals to attend), my dog getting dangerously ill, even getting a call from my sister to take the dog to the vet straight away while we were still at the funeral of my ex-boyfriend’s grandpa 🙃 health problems, money problems, covid obviously, a REALLY bad breakup after a 15 year relationship (he had an affair and dumped my via text message, married her a few months later), moving back in with my parents, more health and money issues, my cousin dying of leukemia within 3 months, having 9 funerals in that same year in total (not all close relatives, but still a lot of funerals to attend), a very traumatic argument with my boss, family arguments, my dog getting a weird growth on foot (had surgery, managed to take it all away), and so so so many other things I should not bother you with.

The thing is, we’re in the middle of a complete renovation and that is the main thing that is eating away at me. Not even the renovation itself, but the fact that I have almost no place/space for my things and we live in constant mess and chaos because we have nowhere to put things.

I am self employed and at the moment I have one recurring customer (my former employer) where I work 2 times a week in-site. On Wednesdays, my daughter is at home with me and we have our quality time. The other two days are for work but I am so severely burned out I get nothing done, not even housework.

I work as a graphic designer and marketing manager but I would like to shift to creative work (like actual products, physical and/or digital) in various disciplines, without necessarily giving up graphic design. I have various hobbies and special interests that I would like to explore more as a potential income, as well as original art work.

Financially, I am still not in the clear (but getting better) so I really can’t afford to take time off. Working 2 days a week is actually not enough, 2,5 days a week is the minimum to cover all costs and have a little extra. But don’t have the energy to look for other clients or set up passive income or anything like that.

When I’m with my daughter, I try to really be present, but today is a particularly bad day and I’m ashamed to admit that I’m already dreading the moment when she wakes up. I feel like a terrible mom because of it.

I take good care of her, but not at all of myself.

The worst part is, I think I technically know what to do, but I guess I just need someone else to say it, if that makes sense? 🙃

Also, I am having some dark thoughts for the first time in my life for a couple of months now. Not actually suicidal, but something adjacent where I 100% want to live but not like this and where I’m also not sure if it will ever be any better or easier because of the ADHD, autism and various health problems.

I also think that the renovation is a big part of the problem; we are still using the old 50’s kitchen, bathroom with a moldy bathtub and no sink (?!?!), brushing our teeth over the kitchen sink (because no sink in the bathroom), no closets or cupboards or whatever in the new living room so absolutely no place to put things and so on. And like I said, not quite financially stable yet, so don’t have the means to speed up the renovation considerably.

Anyway, looking for advice to FINALLY get out of autistic burnout, how to change little and big things in a realistic and practical way, how to be a better mom in spite of the burnout and any and all advice you can think of that might apply.

P.s.: Congrats to you for making it all the way to the bottom of the post!

Edit: have to mention that occasional memory loss one of my burnout symptoms. I have some memories that are completely gone. And not like, I will vaguely remember it when someone else mentions it, but gone gone. The weirdest example: I went to pick out tiles for the reno with my parents. When they arrived, they were the wrong tiles. So my dad called the supplier, who then said he remembered us and that I really did picked out the ones that they delivered after my first choice was out of stock indefinitely. My parents then remember it like that as well, independent from each other. But a year later and I still don’t remember and I have 45 square metres of tile in my garage that I don’t like and don’t remember choosing. So that’s obviously a big one, but I have multiple smaller ones as well where the memory is just completely gone.

Also like to add that I’m firstly looking for easy and low energy improvements like food and supplements. I know I have to exercise but I just CAN’T right now.

I also seem to have severe social anxiety which results in me basically locking myself in my home on my work from home days and free days and avoid any and all things that involve human beings; on bad days I will even avoid emails.

Edit 2 to correct typos

May be a weird questions but any preppers with adhd in here that may offer some advice?

I am an avid prepper at heart, but I have SEVERE ADHD getting in the way of almost everything on a daily basis, but definitely getting in the way of prepping properly.

I managed to have a decent prep when I was living with my ex partner, but two house moves and a BIG renovation (still going on) in combination with said adhd have thrown me off massively.

Any tips and advise on:
\- where to store your prepping supply when your house is not finished yet and everything is scattered
\- adhd friendly prepping solutions

ANY AND ALL ADVICE WELCOME 🤓🥸🤯

Sooooooo I have a really big hate for grass lawns, hence my presence here obv.

We have a modest lawn at the back of our house and I have been trying to convince my partner to turn it into a creeping thyme lawn for some time now.

I’ve mentioned the not having to mow part, the little flowers part, the awesome smell of the leaves part, the attraction of bees and other pollinators part, but no luck so far.

Because my partner accidentally spilled a fair amount of fertiliser on the lawn a few years back, we had a bald spot where all the grass died, so I secretly planted some creeping thyme in that spot and it did marvellously. But still, he’s not convinced.

He says he THINKS a grass lawns would be nicer, but he can’t seem to explain why he thinks that.

He also wants to see a thyme lawn before he would commit to it, but I don’t know anyone yet who had to broken free from the grass lawn chokehold.

Sooooo, advice would be greatly appreciated on:

- why a creeping thyme lawn is so great
- why a grass lawn is not great at all
- photos of some of you who maybe have a thyme lawn themselves
- maintenance of a thyme lawn
- maybe some cons of having a thyme lawn (if there are any)

Maybe good to mention that we have a 20 month old daughter (and hopefully more children in the future) and an 11 year old husky.

We also have a chicken who is allowed to roam freely in the garden from thyme to thyme (see what I did there 👀) when the dog is inside. Maybe we’ll have I some more animals, who will also be allowed to wander the garden when said dog is inside, like some goats, rabbits and so on.

Thank you!