r/AutisticWithADHD

I just got a space heater and as soon as I plugged it in it loudly went BEEP. Then every button went BEEP. And I said, nope. No way am I having that sound in my head whenever I want to adjust the temperature or even just plug this thing in. Turns out it has a mute feature on the remote, but as soon as the unit is unplugged or loses power it gets vocal again. I feel like a bit of a crazy person admitting this, but I was not going to accept this. It was only $40 for the unit, so I took the risk and got out my screwdriver and went to work finding the little black cylinder housing the piezo disc, popped it open, and threw the piezo disc in the trash. Closed it up, and now it's PERFECT.

I've pulled piezos from fridges, cookers, etc. I put masking tape over displays or power indicators that don't turn off automatically (you can still see it, it's just dimmer depending on how many layers of masking tape). I've cut out tags in clothes, oc, but it goes much farther than that. I remove any decal or label that's not strictly necessary. I don't take all the labels off the condiments or anything, but if something is visual in my space I want it to be subtle. The same goes for sounds.

Does anyone else find themselves having to customize their appliances?

Anything you're proud of?

I’m going to make this as succinct as possible, but some background information is required for you to get the full picture. I’m a late diagnosed AuDHD woman (33f) and can’t seem to sleep more than 4-6 hours a night. I’ve had this problem for years, but as I’m getting older the lack of consistent sleep is starting to get to me.

I’ve tried to do some research on the specific issue I’m having, but what I consistently find is people having trouble falling asleep, while my issue has always been staying asleep. I typically fall asleep between 9pm-11pm with no issues whatsoever. I work Monday-Friday, so my alarm is set for 5:20am on those days. Every single day of the week I am awake before this time for no reason at all, some days it’s as early as 3:20am, then I have to function at work for 8 hours and go about my day afterward until I can finally try to get some sleep again that night. Some days I can function perfectly fine with a small amount of sleep while others I do not and I hate the inconsistency of it, it makes my day too unpredictable with what I’m going to be able to handle. On days when I’m extra tired I do try to go to sleep earlier, but those nights I just end up waking up earlier, as if my body has a limit on the amount of sleep it allows me to get.

Some relevant background information on my sleep habits: I do take stimulant meds (Mydayis) for my ADHD, but that has no effect on my ability to fall asleep. I could still fall asleep at any point throughout the day if I really wanted to and this sleep issue has persisted since before I got prescribed stimulants. If anything, I fall asleep much easier once my meds wear off because I always have a crash that hits around 8pm-9pm so then I’m fighting to stay awake usually. I’ve tried melatonin before, I had horrible nightmares all night, so it didn’t help; I do take magnesium though because that’s supposed to help with sleep. I do have sleep apnea and sleep with my CPAP machine every night religiously. I don’t do screens right before bed, I usually lay in bed for an hour or two before I actually go to sleep so I can read and when I wake up I usually stay in bed reading for a bit before I get up for the day.

So my question is, does anyone have this same problem, not falling asleep but staying asleep? And if so, have you found anything that helps you at all? I’m open to all suggestions at this point. Thanks!

I saw a video of a neurotypical guy saying he reads before bed and when he gets sleepy he just stop reading. It doesn’t matter if it’s mid chapter or something big is about to happen in the story, he puts the bookmark in and will finish it later. Is that normal for neurotypical people? Do neurodivergent folks do that or do you guys have to find a stopping point?

For me, I feel like my goal is finish the chapter. If I can’t finish the chapter because it’s too long, like a text book, I will read to the end of the topic, if I can’t do that then I need to finish at the end of a page and if that’s not possible then the end of a paragraph. If there is an interesting story or topic, I need to finish that first. Am I weird?

Not sure if this is just me, but...

It's the weekend. My husband and I sleep in (usually until 7.30 am, as we don't have kids), then one of us gets up to feed the cats and make coffee. We go back to bed with our coffee and start our day slowly, scrolling through the phone, reading a book or talking.

Then it comes, invariably - my husband gets up. I get nervous. Does he just go to the bathroom? Or will he get dressed and go to get breakfast? So, invariably, I ask "What are you doing now?" Mostly it's the kind of getting up to go and get breakfast. Do I have to do something, too? Like showering or getting dressed? Laying out the table?

Mind you, we've been married for seven years by now, and my husband never asked me to do something while he's out getting breakfast. He has never indicated by word or look that he's annoyed or disappointed I haven't done anything other than staying in bed. He will gladly prepare breakfast by himself. I sometimes ask if that's alright by him, and he never says no. He would tell me if he wanted me to do something like that, I'm very, very certain - in this house, we don't play guessing games.

It's just... to good to be true, I think. Just laying in bed until I hear the 'ping' of the egg timer indicating that breakfast is almost ready. But still, I get nervous every morning when he gets up.

Does anyone else experience this? Or is that a 'me'-thing?

It's getting a little cooler, so I took out my comfy winter sweatpants and wore them today. After getting that same old uncomfortable feeling, this time I decided to turn them around and see what happens.

And suddenly they actually fit me. I've been wearing them backwards for several years. Several. (I don't wear them outdoors, by the way — these are strictly at-home sweatpants.)

Before this, the rear part felt small, and every time I sat down the waistband would slide down and I'd have to keep pulling them up. Constant maintenance. I used to think, well, the hind part is small, prolly because it was designed for women. But then I'd think... but baby got back. So that's wrong, according to pop culture edumacation.

Why the confusion? Because the tag is usually at the back. That's the rule. Tag = back. Except this one pair apparently missed the memo. The tag was in the front.

And the pockets feel bigger now. The pockets. I've been living with inferior pockets for years and didn't even know it.

Anyway, it almost feels like I bought a new pair of sweatpants. So I'm happy about this development. A little early Christmas gift. Yay for me.

Can anyone relate?

I'm yet another late diagnosed audhd individual that's currently in the lowest part of my life. It's been bad before but this time I've found myself in a code red mental health crisis, sometimes needing constant supervision to keep myself safe. I could write a book about some of my amazing highs and terrible low periods but this low point is starting to scare me.

My Insta and FB feeds are full of neurodivergent self help vids, but most of them honestly seem more 'this is what's wrong with you that's making life harder than it should be, join my online community/buy my book etc, and get better!.

Are any of these worth it? I have the money for fees or whatever if need be and I'm willing to put in the work, but I need guidance. Trying to get myself back on track feels daunting. I've tried 1 on 1 talk therapy before, but as I've found out, talk therapy doesn't seem to work when it's material and methodology that's meant for neurotypicals.

I've been contemplating why in my life I have felt that I have been constantly drowning for as long as I remember. I realized that a lot of my life has followed the same pattern.

I used Chatgpt to create a distillation of the pattern and why it happens. I hope this helps someone to understand themselves better.

"Expectations exceed sustainable capacity → I overcompensate to meet them → I succeed temporarily → that temporary performance becomes the new expectation → I eventually can’t sustain it → I feel like I failed. (And eventually end up with Autistic Burn Out)

The trap is that people often judge your capacity by what you can do at maximum effort, while you have to live according to what you can do reliably, repeatedly, without burning yourself out. So every time you push past your limits to avoid disappointing someone, you may accidentally teach them that your emergency output is your normal capacity.

That also explains why some of us spend so much time explaining our limitations. We’re not always trying to make excuses. Sometimes we’re desperately trying to negotiate expectations down to a level we can actually sustain, because we already know what happens when everyone builds their expectations around the version of us that can only exist temporarily."

If ADHD and autism can overlap , compensate and sometimes mask each other, how do we tell the difference between normal human variation, neurodivergent traits, and a clinically significant condition?

From the outside my life is very relaxed because now I don't have a job or study or big commitments or bills to pay or children.

But still ive been in chronic burnout for 4,5 years now because the underlying cause is internal. My brain and personality cause the burnout to now persist.

To keep it shorty: autism, adhd, ocdtraits, depression, addictions and ofcourse the burnout itself causing itself through as a vicious cycle too. And difficulty to go to bed on time.

So with such persistent multifactoral internal cause of my burnout how can I possibly recover and gain normal energy again and be functioning again and not overwhelmed functioning?

TalkTherapy does almost nothing for me. Meds do almost nothing for me.

I already work so hard on minimizing the amount or number of energy drainers in my life. I even sacrifice things that are important, to save energy. I've been procrastinating on important physiotherapy for about 9 months now its very Ridiculous.

BHow can I stop letting life overwhelm me and how do I generate more energy so that I can do more of the things that matter

I was diagnosed before the implementation of levels but I assume I would be considered level 2. Not "obviously" autistic. I can go out into the world and no one would ever know. But it costs me horribly. I'm constantly burnt out, can't work, have multiple chronic illnesses, a fairly rigid routine that keeps me from losing my mind. My grandest ambition in life is just to someday be able to live independently, maybe with a partner if I'm lucky.

I can communicate well enough to maintain relationships but my rigid routine and limited energy makes it difficult to find someone people who "get" me or who I don't just feel so wildy different from that I feel like I need a 17 point PowerPoint for them to understand me and accept me enough to feel safe being myself.

Don't even get me started on my special interests either. I'm really into Marvel, DC, Star Wars, and the game Destiny 2. I've heard that those are supposed to be relatively common autistic interests, yet somehow I have not been able to find practically anyone I actually click with who likes them.

It just feels like I'm not "normal" enough to fit in with level 1's or neurotypicals, they can't relate to my level of rigidity, my lack of employment, the help I need from my family, or my level of limitations when it comes to my energy but Level 3's can't relate to my understanding of the social game and how I communicate and my ability to mask. The same goes for me though, I can't relate any more to them than they can to me. I can logically understand most types of people and it's not like I can't empathize or anything. It's just different from that embodied sense of having a shared experience of existence with another person.

We met years ago and I crushed on her instantly. She also made me realise I was ND because she acted in ways that I never could freely do because I was always surrounded by NTs.

From her being so much like me, we connected so well but her avoidant attachment made it difficult to understand her.

I think from this difficulty, I've basically had her on my mind still for years (mainly when I don't have anyone else to occupy my mind) because I cannot figure out if she ever liked me.

I'm very sure she did like me back tbh but because I still don't stop thinking about her, I'm wondering moreso if this is relatable to anyone here?

((I swear I think about her every day lmaoo help me stop!! 😭))