u/UnderstandingEven642

"Does it really matter?" "Everyone is on some sort of spectrum" "You are still you"

Are the three responses I get from everyone I tell about my recent surprise diagnosis.

But to me it really does matter, If I have AuDHD it means I've been masking massively all my life. If I'm masking then who really am I? I'm fully aware that I'm still me and it's not physically possible to become someone else, but thanks for reminding me I guess.

Also, if everybody is on some sort of spectrum, that spectrum must be called the spectrum of life. I'm trying to discuss my sudden appearance on a neurodivergent spectrum.

Obviously I've not said any of those things to people, I've found myself agreeing with them because I think it helps them out of a conversation they find uncomfortable.

Hi, (44M) I knew returning to studying would be difficult, considering I’ve not tried since I was 16 and I’m Dyslexic (diagnosed at 12) but it was harder than I thought. A few people close to me thought my struggles sounded more consistent with ADHD and I should get assessed. So I was diagnosed with ADHD a month ago and I feel it explains a lot of my life experiences. The assessor was really nice and it was a great experience for me to feel understood. But my assessor said I had ASD traits and recommended I be assessed for this before looking into ADHD medication.

I’ve had two ASD assessment now and I found them both really annoying, questions that made no sense and the frog book. Some of the questions were so strange I found myself saying things I would never normally say. It sort of felt as if they were tricking me into saying things to suit a predetermined diagnosis. But also simultaneously, I feel like I was amplifying ASD traits I’d seen in the world to get a diagnosis. Were we all in on this charade? Or was the assessment accurate? Anyway, I was diagnosed with ASD two days ago.

Since this diagnosis I’ve been researching the ADOS-2 assessment to see how robust it is. My conclusion is that it’s quite a robust assessment and I now understand how it works and the point of the questions, but not the frog book. But I can’t help thinking, and I can’t explain how, that there is a chance a mistake was made.

I’ve always been very conscious that I put a lot of energy into fitting in, I have multiple personas for different people. My favorite persona is a totally confident and totally carefee guy to whom the idea of inventing a persona is ridiculous. This makes me wonder how I will tell people, at this stage I feel like nobody will believe me. I might have to wait a little longer before I tell people.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, I hate speaking or writing to groups of people that number more than one. Right now I’m thankful that I have somewhere to say these things, so thanks.