u/purp_plush

🚩 Red Flags of a Therapist Mismanaging my AuDHD (so glad I ended this)
Shaming Harmless Coping Tools: She explicitly called my safe sensory items (Jellycat plushies) "childlike and inappropriate." A trauma-informed or neurodivergent-affirming therapist would never shame an adult for using harmless, effective nervous system regulation tools.
Confusing "Masking" with "Good Behavior": She told me I "listened better" when I wasn't using my fidgets. She completely failed to understand that for an AuDHD brain, fidgeting is exactly *how* we listen. She was praising my ability to heavily mask and sit still and make eye contact, ignoring the intense cognitive exhaustion it caused me.
Using Rigid, Unhelpful Thought Experiments:She tried to trap me with the classic "what would you do on a desert island without your fidgets" question. Instead of honoring my accessibility tools, she treated my need for sensory input like an addiction or a crutch that needed to be trained out of me, forcing me to "fawn" and give a fake, neurotypical-approved answer just to survive the session.
Creating a Somatically Unsafe Environment: Her rigid, judgmental energy kept my nervous system trapped in "fight, flight, or fawn" mode. I was so heavily masked and hyper-vigilant in her office that my body literally would not allow me to cry to her. I could not cry in front of her.
Fundamentally Misunderstanding OCD as "Attention-Seeking": She actually told me that my OCD was an "attention-seeking" behavior. OCD is a debilitating, neurologically based anxiety disorder driven by an intense need to achieve safety, not a behavioral choice to get attention. Calling severe psychiatric symptoms "attention-seeking" is not only wildly uneducated, but it also actively weaponizes shame against a client who is already suffering from intrusive thoughts and compulsions.
Her professional social media was filled with aesthetic, poetic quotes about "deeply seeing" clients, providing "grace," and tuning into "subtle notes." Meanwhile, in the actual therapy room, she completely missed every single subtle cue of my AuDHD masking and made me feel entirely unseen.
Ultimately, her entire approach was based on trying to force a neurodivergent person to fit a quiet, still, unaccommodated neurotypical mold, rather than meeting me where my nervous system actually was.

I want to thank everyone on this group for their encouragement in helping me find a new therapist. My previous therapist was judgmental and shamed me for using jellycat stuffed animals as self-regulation tools. She told me it was childlike and immature. On the other hand, a different therapist I met actually encouraged me to embrace and play with them as a therapeutic tool to aid in healing my inner child. ❤️

When you have a plan in your head/set and the plan changes, do you need extra time to process it? For instance, I need the person to explain it multiple times before I understand it. 😫so draining!

Huge difference. I don’t even need my booster this afternoon. I’m so glad my dr. helped to get this approved for me.

Do you guys see a difference with Brand ER than Generic ER?

My therapist told me that fidgets distract me in session. She said when I have them in my hand I don’t make eye contact and when she had me put them down she said I made eye contact and was more focused. But my fidgets help me