Like the title says. Our 7 month old has been an amazing baby. Born a healthy almost 9 pounds, no health issues, just a happy go lucky little guy since he was born. I can’t imagine if I were to have another that it would be the same experience.
I made some new mom friends and thought it was really cool that we each had one kid. I just found out one of them is pregnant with their second and the other one is trying for more. I want them to be happy, so if they can have as many kids as they want, then that’s great for them. I just feel a little bummed because I thought I had found my mini village of one and done moms. All my other friends have multiple kids.
Then I get my head thinking, “Should I really stick to one? Look at all these other people around me having more than one who tell me that I can handle two and you just get used to it.”
Ugh
my brother has mental illness, possibly passed by my dad side. I am paying half his rent and have been helping monetarily for many years.
don’t remember having a good relationship growing up. after parents pass away, he will be my responsibility.
so I am one and done. I don’t want to pass down mental illness genes to a sibling and have another sibling have to take care of them.
marriage is on the rocks due to spouse wanting another. they don’t have good relationship with their siblings as well now. i know many solo kids grown up and doing well for themselves so don’t see what my kid will miss growing alone.
I was visiting my parents and clearing some things out of my old room when I found a journal that I wrote in when I was 15 and 16. There was one entry in there about an interaction I had with my mom that completely solidified my OAD status. I thought I totally remembered the interaction but it was so different reading it from my POV in the moment. Long story short, a boy asked me out (first time) and I liked him but had no idea how to deal. Now I understand that I have anxiety and it was activated in full force but there was no language or even a concept for that back then. When I confided in my mom, her response left me feeling completely ashamed of my feelings. In my desperation to stop feeling anxious, I cut things off with the boy and I’m not proud that my actions hurt him. My mom thought she was giving me the right advice but she just did not have the emotional intelligence, knowledge, or bandwidth to identify what I was feeling and help me through it in a productive and loving way.
I never want my daughter to feel that way and I certainly never want her to feel shame after confiding in me about something so personal and vulnerable. I know if I have another I will not be able to devote the amount of brain and emotional space to her that I want, especially when she gets older and her issues become more complex.