u/bluesandytoes

The Thought of a Second Baby Is Sending Me Into a Spiral

My husband and I have an almost 2 year-old daughter, and we always said we’d start trying for our second (and last) baby this fall so they’d be about 3 years apart. My husband is 100% on board. Me? I’m panicking.

I go back and forth constantly because I genuinely love our little family of three. I can’t even fathom going through all of this again sometimes, but at the same time, I’d love to give my daughter a sibling. Especially because I grew up with 4 siblings and we’re all incredibly close.

This honestly feels like the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

I’m a great mom, I know I am, but I also know I don’t want motherhood to become my entire identity. Right now, with one child, I feel balanced. I still feel like me while also getting to be a mom. But when I picture two kids… I feel like I’m drowning before it’s even happening. I NEED sleep, and my daughter still sleeps inconsistently, so the thought of adding another baby into the mix sends me into a spiral.

I really think if my husband was also on the fence, we probably wouldn’t have another. But he’s not. So now I feel stuck wondering if resentment exists either way. Like if we have another, will I resent how hard it is? But if we don’t, will one of us always wonder “what if?”

The thing is… when I think bigger picture and long term life, I lean toward having another. I just don’t know if I can handle the process without feeling overwhelmed or resentful.

Would genuinely love to hear from anyone who’s felt this way before.

reddit.com
u/bluesandytoes — 3 days ago
▲ 20 r/Shouldihaveanother+1 crossposts

The Thought of a Second Baby Is Sending Me Into a Spiral

My husband and I have an almost 2 year-old daughter, and we always said we’d start trying for our second (and last) baby this fall so they’d be about 3 years apart. My husband is 100% on board. Me? I’m panicking.

I go back and forth constantly because I genuinely love our little family of three. I can’t even fathom going through all of this again sometimes, but at the same time, I’d love to give my daughter a sibling. Especially because I grew up with 4 siblings and we’re all incredibly close.

This honestly feels like the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.

I’m a great mom, I know I am, but I also know I don’t want motherhood to become my entire identity. Right now, with one child, I feel balanced. I still feel like me while also getting to be a mom. But when I picture two kids… I feel like I’m drowning before it’s even happening. I NEED sleep, and my daughter still sleeps inconsistently, so the thought of adding another baby into the mix sends me into a spiral.

I really think if my husband was also on the fence, we probably wouldn’t have another. But he’s not. So now I feel stuck wondering if resentment exists either way. Like if we have another, will I resent how hard it is? But if we don’t, will one of us always wonder “what if?”

The thing is… when I think bigger picture and long term life, I lean toward having another. I just don’t know if I can handle the process without feeling overwhelmed or resentful.

Would genuinely love to hear from anyone who’s felt this way before.

reddit.com
u/bluesandytoes — 4 days ago