r/askatherapist

So, I'm genuinely worried my therapist forgot. I find it really hard to talk about, but I told her all the details, which is important because she'd be the only person other than myself and the perpatrator (my ex) who knows what happened. She's also the person who told me it was sexual assault, before that I didn't really "understand" what happened other than I knew I was scared and confused. She specidlfically told me she wouldn't bring it up herself but that doesn't mean she forgot. However, she can be forgetful, usually only over small things and I've been seeing her for some time so if I've not mentioned something in years I can't expect her to remember, we're both human at the end of the day. But she's said a few things that make me think that either she's forgotten or she's testing the water to see if I can bring it up... I can't tell which it is.

But the other thing is that she started talking about my ex enjoying bdsm and that he should get more into that scene, almost as though the problem my ex and I had was that he was into kink when I wasn't, like it was a mismatch in preference. It confused me, like previoysly she told me what I experienced was abuse but idk it almost felt like, if I was into this as a kink it'd be okay when it was very nonconsensual and my ex acknowledged that at the time and told me he preferred it that way.

When it comes to this topic and the way people speak about it, I can be incredibly sensitive, and I have misinterpreted things and needed to take a beat to think. So I don't know if she's trying to make an entirely different point to what I'm interpreting. (Yes I know I need to talk to her, I will when I understand my own thougjts a bit better) (NAT).

Do they perhaps do this to protect the other person and for ethical reasons?

I just want to know before telling her everything, she knows i've tried these drugs but i didn't tell her who i was with.

for context i grew up with a meth addict mother and started living with my grandma because of it, me and my grandma often smoke weed together.

recently she let my try cocaine.... then mdma.... then mushrooms..... then meth (bought from my addict mother)

we even smoked it with my mother, we both know what awful things have happened because of this drug but we did it anyway.
i liked it first but it just made me feel dirty, hypocritical and disgusting after

my grandma kept asking me to do it with her more and said stuff like "c'mon! it's not fun without you!" i eventually learned to keep saying no despite her efforts and i'm proud of that but i'm extremely worried about her

we did meth every day for multiple days. she said she stopped but i'm not entirely sure, she's been cleaning the house all day for like 3 days and i've only seen her do that while she was on it.

i'm ashamed of trying it and i never plan on doing it again but i'd really like to know if there are any legal consequences to telling my therapist this especially while i'm underage. i do NOT want to risk being forced to live away from my grandmother and i really don't want to get her in trouble but at the same time i really want to talk to my therapist about it

Title

I have chronic SI, usually it just kinda lingers in the back of my head but sometimes it’s louder. I dont tell people about it, except my therapist and lately I’ve been more open to them about the deep dark thoughts I have. It feels really awful and vulnerable. So I’m wondering when you have clients who have SI who aren’t active threats to themselves but who have morbid thoughts, what do you feel? I know you’re all taking time to assess the situation to determine imminent risk and safety concerns but outside of that. Are you so desensitized to these things that you don’t bat an eye or do you feel sad or worried for people? Sometimes I kind of want to ask my therapist what’s going on in their head when I share these things but I imagine I won’t get an answer, at least not a real one.

I'm about to lay out a complicated situation, but I have no one else I can really ask.

My cousin has had an extremely deep traumatic wound for over a decade because his uncle murdered his beloved aunt and was able to get away with it scot-free. Every single person on his side of the family has either privately or openly said they would kill said uncle if they were given the chance.

My cousin says this disqualifies him from receiving the therapy that he DESPERATELY needs, because the therapist would be required to turn him into the police. Is this really true, or is he free to seek therapy? In USA, if that helps.

Who’s got the treatment protocol planned out for Patrick Bateman?

Including but not limited to: (1) about general inquiries; (2) when they give follow up questions and; (3) about stuff that might get you sent to the hospital

If so, does it take a seasoned one or not really?

Thanks!

I've been working with my therapist over a year now and have gotten attached to her. In general, she's just a great therapist. She remembers details we've discussed from a while ago and, additionally, manages to connect our discussions across sessions really well for continuity. She's also warm, emotionally attuned and makes me feel cared for​. Being at the recieving end of this attention has made me develop some loving and affectionate feelings towards her that I've never brought up in session. I really want her to give me a hug and for her to say that she cares about me, in a way being sort of a stand in parental figure to me. But I feel shame over these feelings and don't want to tell her about them because I know they'll never be reciprocal.

How do therapists view attachments like this developing in therapy? I imagine that it must be kind of weird because of how one sided it is. Looking at it objectively, I have all these really strong positive feelings towards her but, also, I don't really know her personally so I'm not attached to her per se, more like I'm attached to how she treats me or what she represents. Do therapists view attachment developing as something positive/negative? Or is it like data that needs to be interpreted?

My therapists never actually hear me out?

Current therapist: I told her I use 🍃 to cope with executive dysfunction and energy consumption. Her solution: exercise 💀 which depletes my energy and makes me too stimulated.

Past therapist: I told her I used 🍃 because of boredom and lack of stimulation. Her solution: coloring books 😅

How do I get them to actually listen to me. I believe I’m pretty fucking uncomplicated. I tell my therapists why I have a 🍃 problem. They always give solutions that are not even relevant. Yes I have autism and ADHD but how can you give a solution that logically contradicts with my problem like the coloring book? How does that even happen? So I think what’s happening is I would say stuff in therapy, they would hum and acknowledge it verbally and pretend to understand, when in reality they have no idea what to do to help my situation.

I don't get it. What is the benchmark in therapy.

Is there an ideal type of human you have in mind when treating patients?

Do perfectly healthy mentally people exist?

What are they like? How did they get there? How do they act? What are their characteristics?

I am quiet self aware and this will be my first time getting a therapy session, but my parents are very dismissive of my stress and anxiety issues. They don't acknowledge what I've been going through and it's extremely frustrating.

All I've been hearing for years is that it's all my fault.

I asked them to get me to therapy but they started off with gaslighting me repeatedly.

I am very afraid. Will the therapist be dismissive? Will she even acknowledge my problems?

I've heard she's quiet popular and great in her field but I am thinking how my parents will act after getting back home. They always act like I am the problem so I might get attacked after coming back home.

I am going with my parents (if it matters in the context)

When you interact with family and friends, do you find yourself (sub)consciously analyzing them? Do you sometimes find yourself talking to them in a therapist way rather then as a friend? Or would you tell them if you notice something, e.g. a friend who's self-destructive etc?

Or do friends and family come to you for advice as a therapist? And your like, urgh, I'm at home leave me alone 😜

I'm asking this in the context of the doctor already having read a detailed report by a psychologist talking about the present symptoms and such

Today I was at the beach alone and I took a swim in the shallows. I’d been told to be weary of currents so I was sure to stay close to shore, came out, lay in the sun, and fell asleep.

I awoke to a huge flock of birds flying overhead and at first I thought how beautiful, then heard a child scream. As I sat up and came to my senses, I noticed a large group of teenage kids gathered at the shore yelling. The next thing I know there are firemen and life guards rushing the water, with more and more arriving by the second, then boats, and helicopters.

I went up to two onlookers who told me that they’d just seen a child get swept under the water. There was a man nearby who was lying down exhausted and hyperventilating; turned out he’d just jumped in and tried to save the kid right as it was happening, but couldn’t.

I watched for a while in disbelief. An hour later, the rescue efforts stopped. No body was found.

I don’t know what to feel right now. It’s odd, because I didn’t see the actual event, but I was there right as his friends began to realize what was happening. I feel like I don’t have permission to grieve because I didn’t witness it. Is there a term for this type of experience? I can’t even imagine what his friends are going through, what it was like when his family found out, or the people who saw it happen, so part of me feels like I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Is it something I should kind of let it go, or if it’s something I should work through, and if so, how to do it.

Mods, remove if it’s not allowed. I am a therapist curious about client perspectives.

1- Do you have a sense of what your treatment plan is?

This could either mean you’ve actually reviewed the written document and have a meaningful shared understanding of it with your therapist, or you can somewhat confidently say “I am in therapy working towards X, Y and Z goals by doing A, B, and C things with my therapist” and you’ve talked about that pretty explicitly with your therapist.

2- Whether your answer is yes or no, how do you feel about that? Is it very helpful to know? Is it difficult or frustrating not to? Do you prefer for that to be something the therapist worries about and you just get to have your sessions? Would it feel awkward to initiate that conversation? Did your therapist make it comfortable?

I’m just curious.

Hello, I started therapy a couple of years ago because I was struggling with my will to live, immediately I got attached to him and googled him, looked at his socials frequently too see what he was up to etc.

2 months later we started, I was having one of my walks and I had the urge to walk by his office (like on the street where it is) because I remembered he told me the session before he would have been back from his holiday that day and I wanted to see if he was there? (Like, see if the lights were on from outside, not actually see him or look through the windows).
I thought even about lingering nearby because I was missing our sessions a lot (the holiday lasted a month) but I was able to kick myself home after a couple of minutes.

A few days later I was having a walk again because I had to go to a store nearby and I wanted to pass by that street again, I could have took a different route but I wasn’t able to resist it.

I felt so guilty and disgusted and I promised myself to never do it again.
4 months passed and I was able to stop doing this but then I found his address (from the IVA) and went there (I was already outside so I didn’t get out of my house just to do this but still, creepy) to see if there was his name (it was a flat complex not a single house) and then left. Just like the studio, it also happened once (don’t remember if it was the same day or another) that I passed in front of it when I was having a walk and thought about lingering but again kicked myself home.

I don’t think I did because I wanted to spy him and understand his routines, where he goes in his free time to randomly meet him or anything like that, I think it just reassured me knowing he was there even tho I actually didn’t know if he there in that moment (not trying to justify myself, just explaining my thoughts process).

Again, promised to never do this again and for almost a year and a half I did nothing, except looking at his public social. Unfortunately 2 months ago I did something bad again: I was in my car after running some errands and I saw him get in the car near the hospital. I knew he was going to his studio because he told me his work schedule and for some reason I wanted to verify it (and I think I just wanted to see if it was really him that I saw) and went to his studio too and drove by but he was (thank god) already inside.
A few days later this happened I also made fake accounts to add his wife and friends because I wanted to see more pictures of him.

I am not in love with him and never intended to harm him nor interact with him because actually I was scared to be seen but I still wish I never did any of this, I am not there constantly and for hours as these are the only times it happened and I don’t get out from my house with the intention of doing this but I think this is still stalking.

I want to never do any of this again, I permanently deleted the fake accounts and I am not even checking his public socials anymore because I don’t want to feed this obsession and make it escalate again. It already feels much better, I should have realized that something as small as frequently checking if he posted something was fueling it and that the responsibility to not act on these feelings is completely mine, a professional can help me but can’t stop me, and being able to refrain to google them etc has made me feel much more in control in general. I can keep this streak of normal behavior and I want to. It’s not like I always have these thoughts and “urges” and make calculated plans ahead to do something so I don’t understand why it happened but so far I haven’t gotten them anymore at all, not even when I randomly see him.

I didn’t tell him anything because I don’t want him to feel unsafe but I wanted to fix this so I thought about simply switching and today I went to another therapist to talk honestly about these behaviors. She said I didn’t do anything bad, illegal or dangerous and the intent wasn’t harmful and that I should just go back and talk to him about this attachment to work through it, even without disclosing my behaviors.

She assumed at first I was doing this out of attraction to him but I explained to her that I don’t want anything more from him than being my therapist so then she said that maybe I wanted to apply some sort of control over him but that’s not it at all, I don’t want to possess, control or harm him. I told her my guess was attachment/dependency and I was seeking reassurance, maybe it’s because I feel like he lies to me and he’s very inconsistent with appointments: for example, sometimes he tells me we need to schedule very far because he’s full, then next time we check our appointments he would say “why we have an appointment so far? There must have been some issues I guess” and a lot more of things like this where he was so confusing, actually the times where in a month I got my spot as agreed were very rare and I always suffered for this a lot. (Not because I was mad at him or held resentment, I’ve never been angry at him but in the sense that I was hurt and would cry thinking not even my therapist cares).

She said I didn’t do anything wrong in her eyes because it’s not like I burned his car or killed his wife.

I didn’t expect her to tell me this and I can’t agree with her at all, I think what I did is severe and not “normal”. What should I do? Listen to her or try with a third professional?

I'm very curious about what is happening clinically during a misdiagnosis, especially for serious and potentially consequential diagnosis like a PD; both in cases where it's done consciously and unconsciously by the therapist. I'm assuming the vast majority of therapists are well meaning and so arrive at a misdiagnosis in good faith, but I also want to know what would cause a therapist to intentionally misdiagnose. I have a few working theories, but I really welcome the input of people who are actually familiar with the process of diagnosis and personal anecdotes.

How do clinicians work with their own biases and countertransference to ensure that the way they are seeing the presenting issue is not in fact distorted and how might this process go awry? There is just so much room for interpretation in the way people show up and behave.

I have like this lose dx thing from my psych a few years ago and I was never told what it meant could someone please clear it up for me ts is keeping me up at night lmao

I have this form that literally has a section that just say ADHD+NSDSH+EATING DISORDER