r/askatherapist

It's common for a patient develop attraction to the person who helps them but if that happens the other way why do you think that is?

[supprimé]

Just as the title asks?

i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder two years ago. i didnt go to theraphy, i was not trying to get better, but almost all of the symptoms dissapeard.

it was after i started taking different medication, but isnt bpd a behavioral problem? maybe i dont understand it properly, but i thought that you have to go to therapy to make it better.

what could be the cause of it dissapearing?

the symptoms - paranoia, delusions, anxiety, depression - only come back when i dont take my medication or i am in a very stressfull situation.

Is comminity mental health any organization that has multiple therapists on staff? Or does it refer to something more specific than that?

Likewise, does the term "private practice" always refer to a therapist who works solo? Or can some organizations with multiple therapists be considered private practice?

When you look deeply and we look back. And nothing is said. What’s going on for you as the therapist? Are you surprised when patients look back as intensely?

Im moving into phase 2 of my therapy with my structural dissociation and my therapist asked me to think about what goals I want to focus on, and reassess my treatment plan.

I have a lot of super broad goals. (Deal with the trauma from my parents, get a handle on basic life tasks, regain enough confidence to work again) And idea on how to narrow them down? Im worried if I pick one, I wont get help with the others?

Also I feel like integration is the obvious goal but I dont know if i want that right now. At least not enough to make it my whole *GOAL*, ya know?

I've tried to tell my psychiatrist (who does therapy with me) that I am doing really badly in so many ways. From directly saying "I feel so sad it physically hurts and I can't think of anything other than committing suicide most of the time and I am so disgusted by my own existence like I am a piece of vomit" to metaphors, to drawings to poems to sending songs to sending reddit posts (I'll probably send him this one).

He just does not believe me. He says he can't see it, can't feel it. Because I am sitting there because my stupid face smiles and I am compelled to make little jokes. I wish I could break down, cry, scream, throw up. It hurts so much but it is like a concrete wall. The face is like a concrete wall with a smiley drawn on it. The stupid little girl face, I am 32 and still look like 16. It has always been like that. My entire life no one has ever taken me seriously.

I've been seeing him for 10 years. I've been sad and wanting to die since I was 11, but the last 4 years were ... just hell... just nothing but i dont even go outside anymore i can barely eat or sleep and it is a miracle i somehow kept my (remote) job.

I dont know what to do, every week I try to find a way for him to understand how I feel but... he just does not. in 10 years he never even said the word depression or offered antidepressants, of course not, thats for actually sad people, not for little girls who "just need to believe in themselves, then the shame just stops".

It feels like my only option is killing myself. And what kinda hurts the most is knowing that his reaction, if I did that and he would hear it would just be:

"aww, silly little girl killed herself over silly little misconceptions in her silly little head, she was such a lucky person with a wonderful life without any pain or trauma, what a waste for her to throw that away just because she was mistaken and thought she was sad" and then he'd shrug and continue his day. And that would be it. That's all my life amounted to. Everyone would be better off if I'd be dead, I know.

Sorry.

I am looking for any other ideas on how to tell him that I am in pain, on how to get him to take me seriously. Now, 2 hours after the session I am sitting here sobbing. Yes, I've sent him voice messages in this state before, usually he just ignores those. Like a tantrum of a toddler in the checkout line.

NAT (Not a therapist).

A couple of years ago, I had an experience that really shook my sense of safety in therapy. I’d been working with a therapist for about 20 sessions when she ended our work together. I didn’t know beforehand that it would be our last session. She came prepared with a list of three referrals and told me she wouldn’t be seeing me anymore.

Before that, I’d worked with two therapists for several years each, one at my university’s counselling centre and another after graduating. Those relationships gave me a sense of continuity and stability. I understood that retirement, maternity leave, or changing jobs could bring therapy to an end, but none of those circumstances applied here.

From my side, it felt like I’d been gotten rid of. Having referrals didn’t take away the hurt of unexpectedly losing a relationship I’d come to trust.

Even a couple of years later, I’m hesitant to start with someone new. I worry about spending months opening up and becoming invested, only to arrive at a session and discover that they’ve already decided to stop seeing me. I know no therapist can guarantee that we’ll work together indefinitely, but the possibility of another unexpected ending makes it difficult to feel secure.

For therapists here: how would you work with a client who has this fear? What could we discuss or agree on at the beginning about continuity, concerns about fit, and how a possible ending would be handled?

What does a client with a history of trauma need in the therapy space? How can you tell if progress is being made? Why does it take so long to disclose trauma?

I have started with a new person for a couple of reasons. One of the reasons is that my former therapist ended in a way that would likely be inappropriate. Basically dropping all boundaries, sharing lots of personal stuff, texting, sending stuff in social media. It was gradual at first, but then really snowballed.

So my question is, seeing a new therapist, and using part of session time to process what happened with the former- if it is indeed ethics violating, would the new person be required to or could it they wanted, report the old one?

My 7yo daughter was diagnosed with ADHD about a month ago and he suggested maybe a few therapy sessions to help her with her anxiety.

Tonight was her first therapy session and I assumed that since she is 7 I would be in the room my daughter asked me if I was going to be before we went and I told her yes.

We went and the therapist asked her to leave the room for a bit so her and I could talk then asked us to switch. I was a bit surprised and so was my daughter. But she rolled with the idea so I did too.

Afterwards I expected maybe a little debrief from the therapist or tips on what we could do to help her, but nothing. When I asked my daughter how it went in typical 7 yo fashion she said she had a blast and wants to do it again.

I’m in a super weird headspace about this. I’ve done therapy four times in my life for a few months three of the times and once for the better part of a year. I always looked at therapy as a way to help process what you’re dealing with in a safe environment. How do I as an outsider know where she is on this journey? How do I respect the process but also be Dad? It absolutely kills me to not have any insight into this process? I’m giving a complete stranger so much influence with no boundaries or insight? My kids go to a private school in a church that I’ve been a part of for more than a decade and worked and volunteered for. So while yeah her teachers hold similar authority but I’ve known them for a long time and am comfortable with the fact if there are issues they will come to me. We got her diagnosed partly because I have it and recognize the symptoms, but also because her teachers have told me it’s time to get her checked.

What can I do to help her succeed? What are the normal boundaries with a therapist and a young child’s parents?

Thanks in advance, sorry she is my oldest and I know more than a little of this is me having to give up a bit of control.

I’m a therapist. Have an office currently, and I’m considering transitioning to remote only practice. Have others done it recently? Did you lose clients? What have the challenges been for you?

IDK why my other post was deleted. This feels kinda important for a client to know? I'm clearly not a therapist myself, or I wouldn't be asking this. It was an art class, something they do for themselves and not therapy related.

So I have had a therapist for years. They have helped me a lot. But some things happened years ago that wasn’t exactly by the book. I got scared but still continued to see the therapist.

We had talked about drinking. I had never been comfortable with alcohol for many reasons partly because of drinking problems in my family and with my own mental health I was afraid of becoming addicted and do bad things. Become violent like some people in my family.

After I told about my approach to try and drink again( not much) My therapist suggested almost immediately that we should meet somewhere and drink together. I said yeah we can do that. First I thought it was a joke. But my therapist brought it up again and again. And we finally agreed on a date for it. Yeah I know it was stupid to accept it. My life was very difficult at the time.

But then the talk escalated towards jokingly talking about how much to drink when we met and us becoming drunk together. I never said anything about wanting them drunk or me drunk. But my therapist jokingly said “ do you want me drunk?“ And “ maybe we could get drunk together?“

And then the tone shifted towards being very serious and they said was important that I drank before we met. It was like an instruction/order. The amount suggested wasn’t enough for me to get very drunk but I definitely would have been drunk after a little while.

I felt extremely uncomfortable about it. I had never imagined my therapist would suggest something like this. I wasn’t very experienced with drinking and I didn’t do it. When we met and dined for a few hours it went fine. I drank slowly. I tried to talk like it was “ normal therapy session“ . My therapist seemed more intoxicated than me but not very.

My therapist had beforehand also suggested that we could just sit in their office and drink instead of dinner. I refused it.

But the next therapy session my therapist talked about our dinner and wanted us to do it again. But “ let’s drink more“ Obviously my therapist had noticed I didn’t become as intoxicated as they had wanted me to be.

I refused and said it was enough. My therapist seemed very disappointed but never brought it up again. We never talked about it. It felt weird for a little while but then improved.

I still continued seeming my therapist for years after this happened. My therapist helped me a lot but I just felt I couldn’t talk to anyone about this situation. Of course not them.

So I never did. I felt shameful and sometimes thought that maybe I just invented it all I ln my head. Because of my attraction to my therapist. But I didn’t. It happened.

But now I have a new therapist. How do I talk about this? Because the thing is. I was extremely attracted to my therapist at that time and I don’t want my new therapist to be afraid of me become obsessed with them. My former therapist knew about my attraction.

Also my former therapist had said some weird stuff.

Joked about hitting on me. Said it’s a shame they have to wait years if they meet someone. My Therapist was married by the way. Asked what I liked about them so much. Body parts etc. They did that for a little while but I never answered it.

Most of the time they were serious and professional. That’s what’s makes this so weird. You wouldn’t have guessed it if you listened to them talking that they were capable of this.

hi everyone i have been ruminating over a past experience for many years now and still can’t fully accept the fact that i was potentially SA’d. i’ve brought it up in therapy and have had lasting effects (unable to date, afraid of intimacy) since.

i was 18-ish in college and went with some senior guy to a fifth and cuff (we had to be handcuffed together until we finished a fifth of liquor). i had already pregamed with a couple drinks, and then we drank even more once we finished the fifth.

i don’t remember a ton after. he took me to his apartment and i remember my clothes coming off but i don’t know if i wanted that to happen or not. i did throw up a lot before we got back to his apartment, so i know i was decently drunk. i do remember he didn’t take all of his clothes off like i did. and i remember him pushing my hand down the front of his pants, even though i didn’t want to.

also i’m not certain that i said no? i think maybe i did. (for context, i was a virgin and very inexperienced sexually, so i know that if i had been sober, i would not have done the things i did).

so i guess my question is, am i right to blame him for assaulting me since i was extremely drunk? or were we both just drunk (im truly unsure if he was or not) and i am able to put the blame on him instead of dealing with the fact that i violated my own personal boundaries regarding sex? is this a valid thing to call “trauma” and how can i reconcile talking about this in therapy when all i do is blame myself?