u/Final_Prune3903

I have chronic SI, usually it just kinda lingers in the back of my head but sometimes it’s louder. I dont tell people about it, except my therapist and lately I’ve been more open to them about the deep dark thoughts I have. It feels really awful and vulnerable. So I’m wondering when you have clients who have SI who aren’t active threats to themselves but who have morbid thoughts, what do you feel? I know you’re all taking time to assess the situation to determine imminent risk and safety concerns but outside of that. Are you so desensitized to these things that you don’t bat an eye or do you feel sad or worried for people? Sometimes I kind of want to ask my therapist what’s going on in their head when I share these things but I imagine I won’t get an answer, at least not a real one.

I hate this thing truly so much. It’s been a little over a week since I started using it abc I have slept so horribly every single night. Takes me over an hour and several sleep aids to fall asleep. Wake up every hour or so to adjust the mask. Last night was the first night I fully took it off before my mandatory 4 hours of use then I fell back asleep and slept until noon because I am so exhausted from how little sleep im getting with this thing. I have to use a full face mask because I have horrible chronic congestion and it’s so in the way with my side sleeping preference. They’re sending me a different mask to try but it may be about a week before I get it and I’m gong insane. My sleep apnea is pretty mild but I figured id see if the cpap helped my energy levels at all but I have so many regrets. Im also uncomfy with big brother watching me sleep by keeping tabs on my utilization otherwise I would have just not worn it for a week.

Gah

Just needed to vent.