u/Boring-Car-7044

When you interact with family and friends, do you find yourself (sub)consciously analyzing them? Do you sometimes find yourself talking to them in a therapist way rather then as a friend? Or would you tell them if you notice something, e.g. a friend who's self-destructive etc?

Or do friends and family come to you for advice as a therapist? And your like, urgh, I'm at home leave me alone 😜

Context: we grew up with our single mom in the 80s, 4 children. Sister is the oldest, I'm the youngest with quite an age gap. My mom was traumatized from her marriage, and had to work hard to survive. She genuinely loves us but didn't have the skills for our emotional upbringing.

My eldest sister became like a second parent, typical parentification case. I was very much a typical lost child, not really seen so I kent my feelings to myself.

Nowin my late 40s, going to therapy for a few years to work through all this. I always locked up to my eldest sister, i was always seeking her approval somehow.

Now through therapy and some recent events, I came to realize she's actually quite dominant and controlling. This also stems from trauma I understand. She also cares for me but I now realize she's convinced she knows best and is not open to other opinions or criticism.

I took a step back from my family, my therapist advised this. My sister now reached out saying she's concerned. I don't know how to respond. I know I don't have to but I will do eventually.

I don't want to to go no contact at all, but find a way that is healthier for me.

Do you ask about clients and their dreams? How much does that tells you about a client's state of mind? Do dreams give you access to information that a client is not aware of?

I dreamed about a child last night and although she did not look anything like me, it felt like she was my inner child. She was an orphan and was crying that no one loved her and that she was ugly. Adult me in my dream held her close and hugged her. It felt like a small step in healing.

A few months ago a had a very vivid dream where I removed a rotten piece of flesh from my breast. It left a big hole and I was looking at the hole, wondering how I could heal it. Well, the meaning behind that is very clear.

You probably know the type: they always want to help everyone and everywhere, sometimes literally say they want to save the world. And most of the time they do a lot of good things (volunteering, etc)

Some people do this in a very submissive way, they ignore their own boundaries and are extremely people pleasing.

But how about when someone does that because they kind of want to be in control of every situation? Because they want to dominate how things are going? And like to be seen as a strong leader?

In my dream I realized I was playing a character in a tv series but it was still very scary.it was the middle of the night and I had to go find someone in a dark forest while it was raining. I became blind, it was pitch dark but I told myself don't be scared, it's part of the show.

Then suddenly it became light again andI could see. But on the forest trail there was a dead person, I could see blood on his face. There were some people around him but no one did anything and it made me very upset. All this while still thinking it's not real.

Meaning....?

Na jaren therapie kan ik eindelijk erkennen dat ik emotioneel verwaarloosd ben, en het gezin waaruit ik kom een typisch dysfunctioneel gezin is: geen plaats voor emoties, en vooral niet de negatieve.

Mijn moeder was,alleenstaande en had het erg moeilijk. Om te overleven deed ze ze alsof alles altijd goed was. Hup, niet klagen, werken en zwijgen. Ze besefte niet hoe schadelijk dit voor ons en onze ontwikkeling was en is.

Sinds dit besef heb ik op aanraden van mijn therapeut even afstand genomen om dit te verwerken. Mijn moeder en zussen zijn stomverbaasd en begrijpen er niks van.

Ik begrijp eindelijk waarom ik mij altijd een buitenstaander gevoeld heb. Ik dacht altijd dat het aan mij lag....

Mijn moeder en zussen willen vooral de status quo behouden. Dat hebben ze niet zo gezegd maar dat voel ik wel.

Ik heb geen idee hoe het verder moet. Ik wil en kan niet terug. Onze relatie tot nu toe was niet negatief maar erg oppervlakkig. Ik geloof oprecht dat ze van mij houden op hun manier maar ze kennen mij gewoon niet echt. (Ik hen waarschijnlijk ook niet). We zijn er niet voor elkaar, nooit geweest. We gaan bv nooit eens bellen om te vragen hoe het is ofzo. We zien elkaar al weinig.

Mijn moeder is intussen bejaard. Ik weet dat ik niks meer moet verwachten. Ik wil t contact niet verbreken maar weet ook niet wat dan wel.

Uiteraard ga ik dat bespreken met mijn therapeut maar misschien heeft iemand raad?

Vraagje omdat ik weet dat de aanwervingen voor de overheid doorgaans streng beperkt zijn tot bepaalde diploma's.

Interessante vacature gezien op C niveau en er wordt een diploma secundair onderwijs gevraagd. Kom je met een graduaat dan ook in aanmerking?