r/adhd_anxiety

I’m lowkey kinda crashing out over this I just can’t function in social spaces with inattentive ADHD. People say stuff and they keep having to repeat. It’s annoying. A guy and I had a whole convo and I didn’t even know 90% of what he said. My brain REFUSES to process auditory words. As a result i suck at work despite being obsessed about performance. Retail sucked for me too since I suck at instructions. I’m literally just a useless human being

I’m so tired of myself atp. Convos are too fast paced sometimes and I legit feel dumb for sitting like a rock understanding NOTHING. Can’t blame anyone if they think I’m just a low IQ individual. It was not this bad as a teenager, I could have handle several instructions at once while I was a server and execute them immediately. Quick and easy. But now? Now it’s like my brain is asleep.

Fortunately this doesn’t happen 24/7, but it still happens frequently enough to be an issue. Maybe the ADHD part just got more severe over the years idk. My stress levels have also increased around 3x since teenagehood so that could also be a factor.

Hi everyone, I know the title sounds silly, but when you're trying hard, it means a lot. I am going to make it brief, and please excuse my broken English. The thing is, I (F) am in my late 30s, single, no kids. I have struggled with social interaction and anxiety since I was a kid. I always feel awkward when interacting with people and I feel they see that there's something weird in me. I really struggle to hide my anxiety and control my fear of over-sharing, that it leads to overthinking, etc.

For context, before the pandemic, I suffered a SA and shortly after I had to quit my job due to an abusive boss. Two unrelated events that led to depression, anxiety , tics. Everything got worse. I felt terrible. I was given a lot of meds to cope with all of it, so I put up a lot of weight, which worsened my self steam a lot.

It's been 4 years since all of that, and I am doing very well professionally speaking, but I struggle a lot with dating (I haven't since then), with making new friends, etc.

So, this year, I decided to join a group to work out outdoors. I loved it at the beginning. They even welcomed me into a group within the group to go out on weekends. I also liked that a lot, though they do it EVERY Saturday no matter what, and my introverted-self felt that it was a little bit too much. I started showing up anyways and I had fun! But sooner than later I noticed the conversations revolved always around dating, sex, and very personal questions that I didn't feel like answering. They are not to blame, they are divorced most of them, and these conversations might be normal in these kinds of groups, I thought. I am the one that's not okay, like always, I thought. I felt the most awkward person for not being able to keep up with these gatherings that I even stop showing up for work out sessions outdoors altogether. I felt like I failed. My tics came back as well.

Today, they removed me from the WhatsApp group. I wish I could tell them that their very personal questions triggered so much stuff in me. But I don't feel like telling them anything. They would ask, for example, how many times a week would I be intimate with my partner. I lied to them I had one, cause two of them started texting me and showing interest outside the group and I felt like it was the only way out. Then, one of the girls would joke with how many times we women have to fake when being intimate and "wait until they are done". Acting it, making faces etc. And maybe it is funny for them. But to me it was the biggest trigger I have ever felt since the SA.

So, to wrap it up, the facts are that they deleted from the group someone that stopped showing up all of a sudden. And it is okay! That's what you do I guess. I didn't even read the group anymore. But to me it's a big fail in my efforts for showing up and being a functional human being in society. I should have been able to deal with these situations differently. I am so ashamed.