r/adhd_anxiety

Hi dad had ADHD, I have ADHD, and now my 4yo son is displaying the same behaviors. He is a lot of wonderful things. He is smart and funny and social and thoughtful. He is also reactive and sensitive, rigid and autonomous, anxious, inattentive or hyper focused. He emotionally floods when things are done differently than he’d like. He’s always getting in trouble at school. I had these same problems and found myself:

1. ⁠constantly masking and trying to control behavior and eventually hating myself for not meeting a standard my brain wasn’t made for

2. ⁠self-medicating with alcohol as I got older (no longer)

One thing I’ve been thinking about was that trying to meet people’s standards produces shame/self-hatred and just being myself produces social isolation /self-hatred. I’m a great adult now but it took a long time and I want the path to be easier for my son.

My question is, can anyone give advice on best practices for a 4 year old with ADHD so they can grow up to like themselves?

A little over a year ago, my psychiatrist prescribed Wellbutrin for my ADHD and anxiety. Although it provided a little relief at first, I notice that this has now diminished. I am really struggling with what might work for me; therapy alone helps too little, and I certainly think medication is something that could help. I think Wellbutrin alone is too activating. I don't suffer from very severe (physical) anxiety and function fine in daily life. I just worry a lot; my thoughts race very fast, and I find it difficult to put a stop to it. I ruminate all day about how im feeling, I analyse every little thought, i am very conscious about how I feel, and I always want to find an explenation to everything. I was wondering if there are other people with the combination of anxiety and ADHD, and what has helped you (with medication or in general).

Hey y’all. I’m 32 and was just diagnosed with ADHD. This came as a surprise to me but looking back on my life the symptoms add up. Does anyone else have experience being diagnosed late? I’m terrified of the drugs they wanna use. I’m just feeling really lost

Hi. Since learning at the start of this year, that I have ADHD and OCD, I have been on a leave of absence from my final year of college due to medication side effects and it’s now summer. The last four months I’ve been doing titration for sertraline for OCD to bring it down before working on the ADHD. I’m now on 150mg and now past the side effects, but still don’t feel 100% energy wise. Each day feels pointless, like all I’m there to do is take the medication and just wait for the day to end. I can’t enjoy just relaxing or doing mindless activities. Before knowing I had ADHD I would burn myself out with assignment stress, leadership roles, internship you name it. Tons of adrenaline and progress. Compared to this. I hate it, it’s like a physical pain I have to wait out. Is this an ADHD thing?

I’ve been unemployed for 7 months now. I quit my previous job to explore a passion, and now I need to get back into working because my savings are running out and there’s pressure at home to move out.

The worst part is: I KNOW what to do, BUT cant do it.

I know I need a job. I actually WANT a job. I want to work, socialize, dress up, go out, earn money, attend concerts, and finally stop being stuck inside my house. I’m already 3 months late. I was supposed to join a job by March. It’s mid-May and I haven’t even properly started applying.

And I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING.

I tried:

• Pomodoro timers
• Small chunks
• “Just do it for 2 minutes”
• Time blockers
• Calendars
• Daily rewards
• Emotional triggers
• Visualization
• Posters showing the life I want
• Healthy food
• ADHD-friendly systems
• Fresh air, walks, breaks
• No overstimulation
• Motivation videos
• Deadlines
• Planning systems from Reddit, YouTube, books, everywhere

Nothing works.

I can maybe force myself one day to do job searching for 2–3 hours with extreme effort. Then after that, I feel so mentally burned out that I avoid even LOOKING at my laptop for an entire week.

This cycle has been repeating for 4 months.

I have good experience. Everyone around me says if I seriously try, I could get a high-paying job within a month.

But I absolutely cannot make myself sit down and do it.

The moment I sit in front of my laptop, I feel exhausted. I want to run away. I feel miserable. I just want to cry, eat, sleep, avoid everything, and lay in bed.

I’ve also tried multivitamins and general supplements. People keep telling me ADHD medication helps, but my therapist told me learning ADHD-friendly systems and therapy was better than medication, so I focused on optimizing my systems instead.

Now my savings are almost gone, and ironically I can’t even afford proper ADHD treatment or medication anymore.

I don't know what to do, I want to run away

Hi guys! So I have never really posted anything on Reddit, but I'm in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD and I just wanted some insight about how I am feeling? My diagnosing psychiatrist also has ADHD and she says I relate to her a lot in the symptoms I experience.

I have always been more sensitive than people, having a really hard time taking rejection even at little levels like when I was in elementary school I was always like a "gifted" child and so when a teacher would tell me I did something wrong it would feel like a personal attack and I would think about it for days and days and think about what I did wrong and how I let her down. My Vanderbilt's cam back negative for ADHD but my psychiatrist says she still thinks I have ADHD and mask a lot. I definitely agree with this. I feel like after I get home I go into almost like autopilot?

During the day when I'm out I can force myself to do things and yk appear like I'm doing well but when I am home I just feel so done. I feel like all that 'masking' switches off and I am forgetting things again I cant start anything and I let all my emotions flow freely which usually ends up with arguments which I have to say I enjoy arguing (dopamine hits?)

I was scared to talk to someone about getting diagnosed with ADHD because I didn't want it to come back negative and then I was just a poser and how I'm feeling was completely invalid and I am so stupid and annoying for thinking this and when my vanderbilts came back negative I def felt that but my psychiatrist reassured me that she thinks I should be diagnosed w ADHD

I'm sorry for ranting but I just want to see how my experience and how I think relates to other people and get some insight!! thanks guys :))

I was never one of those dudes backflipping off cliffs into the water, doing reckless stupid shit, which is why I never thought I was an adrenaline junkie. But I take a lot of joy in adrenaline things it turns out.

Apparently this is an adhd thing, curious about you? Yes I am diagnosed haha. Even biking fast through the city is a noticeable mental boost for me. When I jumped out of a plane I felt.... extreme joy? And I am not a scientist but i am not sure that is the feeling you are supposed to have in that situation?

I have an unproven idea that my headspace would be vastly improved if I made regular time for hobbies with a small chance of death

What about you?

Hi everyone

Won't bore you all with my life story. I have combined type ADHD. Struggle with motivation, RSD and impulse mostly and some executive function.

I also have CPTSD symptoms. I'm in drug and alcohol recovery and have just had to stop lisdex as it was threatening to become a real issue. I'm taking 10mg lexapro (8 weeks in). I have sleep issues that I've had for over a decade and a very reactive CNS.

I'm meeting with my psychologist soon to discuss other treatment options for my ADHD. Just wanted experiences from you guys that have taken non stimulants or found good combos that help!

Thank you in advance 😊!!

Hey I'm just wondering if people noticed any of these side effects on Guanfacine long term, I struggle with them a bit and I think I left my pills at a friend's and can't get a refill for a few days, so trying to see the potential benefits lol.

I’m stuck in this cycle where I overthink simple decisions, but then when I get stressed, I make impulsive choices without thinking at all. It’s exhausting and confusing. Is this something others with ADHD deal with? And how do you find a balance between overthinking and acting too fast? I really need help figuring this out.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 27F diagnosed with ADHD (combined presentation) and generalized anxiety disorder, and I’m feeling really stuck trying to figure out what medication approach actually fits my brain and nervous system.

For context: I was first medicated around age 22 for anxiety and have trialed multiple SSRIs over the years. Most helped somewhat with anxiety/racing thoughts, but I often ended up emotionally flat, less creative, less motivated, and with significant sexual side effects. I’m currently on 75mg Venlafaxine (SNRI).

About a month ago, I started Vyvanse after finally being diagnosed with ADHD. The interesting thing is that the Vyvanse does help in some really meaningful ways:

- quieter mind / less racing thoughts
- better focus and executive function
- easier time sitting down and completing tasks
- less overwhelm in the mornings
- improved mood and confidence during the “working” phase of the medication

But then a few hours later, things seem to shift.

I start feeling overstimulated, hot, irritable, emotionally “ugh,” and kind of flat or depleted. I become much less social, don’t want to do anything, and sometimes feel like my nervous system is just fried. It’s almost like there’s a brief window where I feel like the version of myself I’ve been trying to access for years, and then it disappears halfway through the day.

I’m also experiencing a LOT of sweating and heat sensitivity — especially facial sweating — which is making everything worse. I already have rosacea, so my face gets hot/red easily, and once I start sweating I feel physically uncomfortable and overstimulated really quickly. It becomes hard to regulate myself and I just want to lie down in front of a fan and not interact with anyone. The sweating is honestly embarrassing and affecting my quality of life. Tbh I’ve always been a sweaty person, so I think these meds are just exacerbating an existing issue.

A few things I’m trying to figure out:

- Does this sound like Vyvanse dose issues (too high? too low? wearing off too fast?)
- Could the Venlafaxine + Vyvanse combo be contributing to emotional blunting, sweating, irritability, or overstimulation?
- Has anyone had stimulants HELP anxiety initially, but then create sensory overstimulation later in the day?
- Did anyone find that a different stimulant worked better (less crash/less emotional flattening)?
- Has anyone moved from an SNRI/SSRI + stimulant combo to stimulant-only treatment and felt more “themselves”?
- Are there ADHD meds that feel smoother or more emotionally sustainable for people who are sensitive to stimulation/sensory overload?
- Could this indicate that anxiety/depression symptoms were actually secondary to untreated ADHD all along?

I’m honestly exhausted from years of medication trial-and-error. I don’t expect to feel euphoric or perfect, but I do want to feel functional without feeling emotionally muted, sweaty, overstimulated, or disconnected from myself.

I miss feeling creative, emotionally present, and naturally motivated. I’m trying to figure out whether I’m:

1. on the wrong stimulant,
2. on the wrong antidepressant,
3. overmedicated,
4. under-medicated,
   or just someone with a very sensitive nervous system.

Would really appreciate hearing from anyone who’s experienced similar patterns, especially women with ADHD/anxiety.

No pharmacy was able to get it in where I live and the next town over, till yesterday one grocery store pharmacy had enough left to fill my prescription after being out for 15 days. And it’s a brand I’ve never had before and i immediately felt horrible effects from it and its also not working like my meds always have and I’m wondering if anyone else has had an issue/bad experience with this generic brand? The Generic brand name is Mallinckrodt. It’s literally so awful.

I had to peel myself away from Reels. Just posting this then gonna go mop…

I have had other ADHD medications in the past, like Vyvanse, but it mostly just increases my heart rate and makes me feel uneasy, and nothing much else happens. I was recently put on dextroamphetamine 20 mg twice a day, but I've started taking only 10 mg once a day. I am generally not an angry person, but I feel very much agitated and easily triggered when I am on the medication. Is this something that would go away over time or would this be persistent?

Hiya guys, lately ive realized the things that overwhelm me aren't huge responsibilities - it's the constant stream of tiny things floating around in my head all day - if you get what I mean?

like replying to ppl, remembering appointments, small chores, finishing that later, etc.

like individually they're small, but together it feels like my brain is running a million tabs at once?

I tried normal to do list/reminder apps like the native apple one for a bit, but they always ended up feeling too rigid or stressful, so I started to just dump thoughts somewhere immediately before I forgot them.

Honestly that helped a lot because im not constantly trying to mentally hold onto everything anymore.

Im sure im not the only one who feels this - its a pretty exhausting part of ADHD I feel

So I’m new to my job. I have always worked as a graphic designer prior to this. NEVER had experience working else where.

My first official working day was yesterday. I am EXHAUSTED. It was orientation for the first half of the day, and then work for the second which we didn’t expect. Thought we were gonna be sent home after orientation. It was too much info at orientation with all the videos and slides. I wanted to take it seriously but it caused caused me to fall behind. I had to keep repeating videos and was taking notes too so everyone else was done and I wasn’t. I rushed through the very end as it was almost the end of orientation and I didn’t want the instructor to get annoyed. Like I said, it’s fast paced. I also committed a lot of minor mistakes bc I couldn’t keep up, but not sure if there is even room for that as a new hire bc they seem very strict.

I felt like a kid being taught what to do when doing actual work. Like I was doing “stupid” mistakes and people teased me about it. With my ADHD, my common sense just flies out the window. Felt a bit lost even if the work is kinda “easy”. Kinda second guessing my decision to work here. I know it’s only the second day but IDK if I like it here. Made friends though.

I don’t want to disclose the store name because people would LOVE working here and I have noticed that whenever someone complains, they get comments like “can I have your job” or no sympathy at all. I don’t know what to do. I’m on meds already.

i was assigned woman gender-wise at birth and for most of my life partook in more gender neutral activities or they were solely based on the people around me. I realized in 2021 what the meaning of nonbinary was and noticed while I might biologically be female i dont resonate with the identity of being a woman, i feel more neither gender than any single one at all. Besides that I have always been a yapper (clearly) but I have noticed regardless of the technology or task my friends have been doing/focusing on, or even barely focusing on, they don't listen to me. They have said in joking contexts that I talk too much and ramble and I get that, I also have a hard time listening to them at times but i feel its really not the same intensity of which i feel it (could also be my fault due to how much i say or talk about i guess). But ive noticed even within that I try to make conversation beyond my own feelings or personal ideals and it still seems like my attempt at conversation is sometimes ignored. Not always, but noticeably often. I dont know if I need to dial myself back and be quiet, which I have tried but its just not who I am, how I feel, how I act. I guess it still could be my fault and being overbearing is part of me im just tired of having to repeat myself at times. I dont know what to do to make myself be less stressful and constantly come up with stupid hypotheticals I feel the need to express whether applied to myself, my friends, or another external factor. I just like to talk.

I have seen so many memes about "taking daily caffeine/meds" to focus, that caffiene calms people down, Adderall calms them, etc - I could NOT be more the opposite. According to my psych I shouldn't have any stimulants ever, even caffiene (learned the hard way). I tried literally all the ADHD meds, both stimulant and non stimulant, and none of them ever helped me focus and I got crazy bad side effects (jittery, anxiety, literally sitting on the floor rocking back and forth).

Uh . . . anyone else? I just don't understand why my ADHD experience is so different from everyone else's. I relate to the problems 100% but nothing has helped at all. I feel so left out when I read these ADHD posts about "taking daily meds" - absolutely no shade but why am I having a different experience?

Nothing in the entire world has helped me focus. It has been rough lol. I even paid for a $1000/visit psych, thought maybe more money/experience could help?? But no, she was at a loss! I stopped seeing her because she wanted to charge me more for my "complex case"!

I have been diagnosed with it. But my experiences with "cures" don't sound like yall's at all. Just the symptoms.

Any help would be appreciated. I feel like a crazy person : (

Does anyone else here suffer from severe anxiety thinking about death ??

Some nights in bed, I could be relaxing and just about to fall asleep, and the next thing - death just suddenly pops into my mind.

And then I go into full panic mode as then I starting thinking about

my own death.

Knowing that one day that I will have to die and leave this earth. I don't know I think it's just a huge fear of the "unknown" after it.

I just fear that what if it's all just black after we die, It's just black and nothing else forever. It's just that thought and it's absolutely terrifying the hell outta me

Does anyone else here have this sudden thought at night ?? Or how can I overcome this fear ??

Thank you

A few days ago I posted about my (28F) breakup with my (29 M, dx, unmedicated) boyfriend. I shared a few of my experiences in the post and several of you told me that what I was describing did not seem like just ADHD. I won’t lie these last few days have been absolutely brutal for me. My emotions are up and down. And it’s taking EVERYTHING in me not to reach out to him.

Some updates:
I was extremely confused at the fact that my boyfriend had ADHD and was seeing a therapist but didn’t really know how it affected him outside of his executive functioning. He knew nothing about RSD and seemed to not know that his ADHD could impact his emotional regulation (or lack thereof). I spent the majority of our relationship being blamed for his anxiety and his rather large emotional reactions. He said he had never had these reactions with anyone else and that I had made his anxiety the worst it had been in years. I obviously internalized all of this and felt really bad about myself and the effect that I was having on him. Fast forward to towards the end of our relationship, I stumbled across a TikTok about RSD and fell into that rabbit hole which seemed to make everything click in my head.

Well I just looked up the “therapist” he told me he had been speaking to weekly and it turns out he’s not even licensed or went to school. He’s some sort of life coach/DJ. Here I was thinking that he was taking the steps necessary to address his ADHD with a licensed professional and it doesn’t seem like he is.

I scheduled a session this week with a therapist who kind of specialized in ADHD. I walked he through my relationship and she said that it didn’t seem like he had a personality disorder in addition to the ADHD.

All of this really shattered my world. My hope was that with space and time away from each other we could start to heal. I could develop the skills and knowledge necessary to accommodate him (but not betray myself) and he would start to have serious conversations with his therapist about how his ADHD played a role in our relationship. Now it just feels like there is no hope. I am so so so sad and I don’t know what to do anymore.