u/New_Pack4182

Hi everyone!

I’m seeing my psychiatrist this Friday to finally talk about getting some help for my anxiety, and I’m definitely nervous about it. I do go to regular therapy so that helps a bit.

I have ADHD and do have medication for it, but I honestly barely take it because I’ve always been someone who is really hesitant about taking medication in general. I have pretty bad social anxiety and can also experience panic attacks, especially in public settings or situations where I feel like I can’t easily leave.

For those of you who also have social anxiety and/or panic attacks, do you take an SSRI? If so, which one has worked well for you? I’d especially love to hear from people who have had positive experiences with medication and noticed an improvement in being able to go out, socialize, or just feel more comfortable in public.

Did you start at a really low dose and work your way up? What was your first week or first month like, and how long did it take before you started noticing that it was actually helping?

Also, any tips for taking that first dose when you already have anxiety around medication itself? I will literally convince myself I’m having a reaction after taking a new supplement 😂 so taking my first dose of an SSRI is probably going to be an event lol. I found that sitting in front of a fan helps.

I know everyone reacts differently and I’ll obviously be talking everything through with my psychiatrist. I’m just hoping to hear some encouraging firsthand experiences before my appointment. Please no fear-mongering or horror stories, I know side effects and negative experiences are possible, but reading a bunch of them will probably just feed my anxiety and make me afraid to even try.

Thank you!! 🫶

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years and were talking seriously about moving in together next year, marriage, and starting a family. I’m in my early 30s and this relationship felt like it was headed in that direction.

Recently we attended a wedding together. I struggle with severe anxiety and ended up having a panic attack, so I left earlier than planned. My boyfriend stayed behind. He got home around 3am, which immediately felt strange because the wedding had ended much earlier.

Something felt off, so I looked through his phone. What I found has left me questioning everything.
That night he DM’d multiple women on Instagram, some of whom were posting sexually suggestive content, and simply sent “hi.” None of them responded. He also called a couple of women multiple times. I later contacted one of the women he called. She told me nothing happened between them, but she did say he asked her to come over to his house that night.

I also found messages with a female coworker. He ended up going to her house after the wedding. In the messages he said things like “come drink with me” and asked where her room was. His explanation is that nothing happened, that she wasn’t home when he arrived, her cousin was there sleeping on the couch, and he took a nap until she and some friends got home. He says they all hung out for a while before he eventually came home.

When I confronted him, he said he had been completely blacked out and didn’t remember most of what happened. He also admitted that messaging women while drunk had happened a few times during our relationship, but he never told me. According to him, he felt ashamed afterward and would become depressed about it. He says he discussed it with his therapist, who advised him not to confess behaviors that would only hurt me if he hadn’t actually cheated.

What I’m struggling with is this: how can someone be certain they didn’t cheat if they were truly blacked out and don’t remember what happened?
On one hand, I have no proof that he physically cheated. On the other hand, it feels like he was actively trying to connect with other women that night. Part of me wonders if he simply wasn’t successful.

After I found everything, he admitted he has a porn addiction, deleted his contacts, deactivated Instagram, gave me full access to his phone, and immediately scheduled therapy. He says he will do anything necessary to save the relationship.
Outside of this situation, he has many wonderful qualities and has treated me incredibly well for most of our relationship. That’s what makes this so difficult. If he were a terrible partner, this decision would be easy.

For those who have been in similar situations, would you consider this cheating? Would you see this as a relationship-ending breach of trust, or something that could potentially be worked through? And how much weight would you give to the fact that he admitted some of this behavior had happened before but kept it from me?

I’m having a hard time figuring out whether I’m reacting to what actually happened or to what I believe could have happened.