u/a_peeled_pickle

I don't mean things i can write down in a calender or set an alarm for, i mean the little things at work.

I get constantly told to remember better, sometimes nicely, sometimes passive-aggressively, sometimes it feels really demeaning and often they straight up make fun of me. I always apologise i always say i will do my best to keep it in mind moving forward, i often have to explain that i know and do it usually, but just forgot few times, which they for some don't want to believe usually, and insist I do it constantly (even if i know it happened around 2-3 times max, out of like 40). It's things like washing a rag with warm water, replacing toilet paper after i finish, throwing out the used role, putting things in their place, turning of lights, and whole lot of other details concerning specific work tasks.

I don't understand what are they expecting me to do, I'm already trying more then my best, I'm already ocd checking everything constantly, I am constantly trying to gauge out what would they think is important, but I still miss and I still forget sometimes, I don't know like how I'm supposed to fix this in their mind, why would they keep assuming I'm just not trying hard enough, when it should seem obvious at this point, that I'm doing my best just have kind of a bad memory and forget some details sometimes.

I'm slowly leash training my cat, and we only go to the garden at this point. Naively I always tried to nudge my cat to climb on a tree "climb this tree that will be so fun, go on". Up to this point, she only walked on the ground, but right when I wanted to go home today, she run up towards the biggest tree we have and jumped up like 2 meters high, went through two branches and jumped into the roof of our garage. Before I managed to untangle the leash she was already beyond reach. I had to climb onto the roof, because she was already on a fully extended leash, trying to jump down the tree, with the leash tangled. I managed to untangle it and she jumped down safely. But it was moments from me having to let the leash go so she could hopefully jump down safely, but she might have run away.

How do you deal with this, do you not let your cats climb, or do you have a harness that's fall safe? I had the basic stringy one, i was worried it could pull and harm her. She was definitely having fun, so I would want her to be able to experience it safely in some way.

But it definitely surprised me, how dangerous that situation turned so quickly, luckily it was okay in the end.

I'm looking for a study, or more of them, about how gender rivalry, communication issues between boys and girls. Gender animosity etc, develops throughout childhood. Could you point me to a general direction of where to look, or how to word it so I can find something?

I'm gonna be moving out of my parents house to a different city, and I currently have no friends. I have not been really actively social for around 10 years. And I really want to finally end this isolation cycle. I want to get to know some people in the new city, even if it is just a surface level connection.

What do you think is the best strategy to move towards that goal? Im considering different strategies, joining hobbies, volunteer/activist groups, dating apps (for finding friends not dates), going to pubs? That's kinda all I can think of, what is in your opinion the better choice, or do you have any other ideas?

I'm trying to make a vision for my future that would make me excited, or atleast satisfied to live it. But it's just hard to find something. I'm living with my parents and have no friends. I'm pouring all of my energy to my job to earn enough so I can finally move out and start my life. But imagining moving out doesn't even make me excited, it just feels like a hurdle I need to overcome, because I know living with my parents is draining me. But moving out will be just the first step in getting somewhere. So I'm trying to visualize, what is "the somewhere" that I want to work towards. But I don't really know how people do that.

Do you have any advice or experience starting to build your life better, kind of from ground zero? I'm really trying to hold onto some hope, but some guidance would be appreciated.

I bought a lotion for myself with aloe vera, and after searching found out I probably shouldn't use it, but not just because of the aloe vera, as I suspected, but also because of other potentially harmful substances for cats. And apparently most of lotions contain perfumes and other chemicals that are danger to cats. So I would follow that logic, and probably most of general hygiene products like body wash shampoo hair gel, etc, could cause risks if my cat got exposed to some residue often. Do you have any advice on how to minimize risks, am I overthinking it or is it something that I should be paying more attention to? What is your approach?

I have around -0.75 in one eye, after injury that happened several years ago. This is my first time getting a prescription for it, first I was so excited that I'm finally seeing clearly. But I didn't realize that it's a pretty big change and it's freaking me out a bit, to suddenly see the world in a different way. Everything has details and texture I didn't see before, my depth perception is different, probably as the eyes are syncing better now. I see more of my peripheral vision in the bad eye, since previously my good eye was doing most of the work, and to see clearly, I didn't percieve that much from the bad eye. It's just so strange I'm shaking a bit. I'm trying to stick with it because I know it probably just takes time to get used to. But I just didn't expect such a strong anxious reaction to something that is very positive change for me. Does this happen to some people, does it go away after getting used to it?

I have always been called sensitive, and my pain was being denied on that basis. But on the other hand I do have some trauma from people bullying me, and I do have a tendency for autistic sense of justice that's not always as correct as it feels. So I might be more hurt by certain things, then a healthy neurotypical person would. I'm just not sure whether I can reject someone's behavior that's hurtful to me, since I don't want to misinterpret their impact, because of my autistic and trauma related differences. I do try to trust myself, but I also try to work on not being overly righteous, as we are all human and nobody is always perfectly kind including me.

Do you have any advice on how to navigate this issue, when I feel hurt by somebody but I'm just not totally sure whether I am correct about that behavior not being something i should accept?

This is about my younger sister, I'm an adult but she's a teenager. There definitely would be a way to improve communication, but my sister is at a valid point in her life where she just doesn't want me to bother her even if it is me trying to help the situation. From what I'm able to understand, I'm just pissing her of a lot, and she just doesn't want that in her life. She has valid reasons to be annoyed by me, my mental health issues including undiagnosed autism growing up, were a lot of pressure on her as a younger kid. I am trying to figure out a way to not burden her anymore, so she can have a room to breath even if we are near. But I am not sure exactly how to achieve that, since I don't know what it is exactly that I'm still doing wrong. I have worked hard to eliminate the behaviour that I knew was burdening her, like visible breakdowns, expecting her to have understanding etc. I'm trying to be a responsible adult. But from her side I'm still not what she needs, and I don't know how to become that. Do you have any advice?

I'm starting to train a new puppy we have at home, he's a golden maltipoo, I chose "bring item here" as his first command, so I can throw him toys to catch and bring. But since this is his very first experience with training, I gave up on trying to get him to drop it into my hand, I give him a treat if he brings it back to me, even if he is currently just dropping it on the floor next to me. Because im glad he is learning that at the moment. Can I start teaching him that he will get a treat only after I'm holding it, after he learns the basic bringing. Or should I teach him all of it, so no treat if he doesn't wait for me to take it from his mouth. I'm worried he would not be able to complete it and loose interest, because it seems too complex for him rn, but I don't have experience with training puppies so I also might be underestimating him.

Do they need to play and cuddle with humans like dogs or cats, or is enrichment more in terms of setting up challenges for them to do on their own?

Hi, I have very low appetite during the day on concerta, usually i have breakfast and then don't start eating again until around 5pm, since the meds start wearing off. I do eat enough a day, it's just not ideal that I basically only eat in the evening.

I do feel bit hungry through the day, but more so I can feel my body needing fuel, it just presents as more sort of tiredness so I often don't realize it. Plus food just tastes like cardboard, while on concerta, so that's not helping as well.

Which leads me to consider nutri drinks, and I'm wondering if it's usual or recommended to drink them to combat low appetite on stimulants? I used to drink them in ed recovery, they taste alright to me, and it's something I know I can consume even if I didn't like it on the meds, since my main issue is time consuming chewing, so it would be helpful to have something slurp-able