r/ADHDerTips

Your brain isn’t broken. You’re exhausted from trying to perform normal all the time.

ADHD helps us think so fast and connect dots nobody else can. This means “regular” thinking outside my strengths (i.e. communication) felt like stepping outside my comfort zone. and anything outside this comfort zone feels unnecessary. I often saw my problems as a usual part of my life, completely blind to a new world where things could be better.

These regular tasks are what the society around us considers part of normal functioning life. Includes making friends. Includes doing admin tasks. Includes dealing with the government or brands that have delegated their entire CS to a bot.

Some of these are necessary to live a stable, happy life.

But we borrowed our definition of normal from others so it's like we have been living someone else's normal.

It's like running a fast train on a slow track and then asking "I am so bored, does this train go any faster than this?" 🤣

But these normal things aren't the problem here. Our villain isn't our neurodivergence. Sure many of our traits can be very challenging to live with on a daily basis. But avoiding problems is what causes the most damage to our psyche.

Us NDs are natural problem solvers. Our ADHD helps us think so fast and connect dots nobody else can. 

But when we are inside our comfort zone, we can't see our problems for what they are. So, we refuse to leave your comfort zone; we put blinders on our eyes, we try to block our our problems.

That not only blocks our problems but that also blocks our fun.

Challenges make life fun. Challenges should not be your entire life, but challenges are one of the life's ingredients.

 We have to expand the umbrella of what OUR LIFE means to us.

If you’re working or studying and notice yourself getting easily distracted, your AC might actually be part of it. Sudden or frequent changes in temperature, even minor ones, can break your focus and make your AC work harder, which can hike up your bills. If you have ADHD, even small shifts in the environment can throw you off.

If your AC is old, new models can be easier to adjust and respond faster, making it simpler to keep your space at a steady, comfortable temperature. A predictable temperature can make it easier to stay on task and avoid that unconcentrate feeling.

Also, when adjusting the temperature, try doing it gradually instead of big swings all at once, it will feel nicer for your focus and comfort.

Here are some strategies that I have used through out my life. Some are everyday ADHD tips others if you are struggling with getting out of bed. I hope these help?

Sleep speaker insert- I find I need to listen to something to fall asleep or go back to sleep. Since I have a partner, the TV is not an option. I bought a small flat speaker that goes into your pillow and connects to your phone or tablet and allows you to listen as you lay on your pillow.

Weighted blanket- I get hot easily, so I have a cooling one. I use this blanket and my partner uses his own comforter.

A bed kit- keep these items in a drawer or basket beside your bed. Facial wipes, waterless toothpaste, floss picks, moisturizer , sugar free mints for dry mouth and bodyspray, a small trash can.

Mouthwash-keep it on the bathroom counter and when you wash your hands just use it.

Keep lights of or night lights- when you need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, keeping the lights off prevents you from interrupting your sleep cycle.

Breathable/non-restricting clothes- I have moved on to an era where I prize comfort over trying to dress in certain styles. PJ's that are soft and made out of bamboo, wireless bras-they make some great ones that are comfortable. I love long airy dresses and easy to slip on shoes.

Groceries- I have always hated grocery shopping. I signed up for Wal-Mart plus IN HOME delivery. This is slightly more than Wal-Mart plus. You choose a day of the week for your groceries to be delivered. So mine had become a habit, like every Thursday night I order groceries. Wal-Mart stores the items you buy regularly. So every week you just reorder the items off your list. They deliver the groceries in a temperatured controlled van and they will either bring into your house and put them in the fridge or just leave them at your door, whatever you choose and there is no tip. They are also like Amazon with all the products you can buy. Some items you can get the same day. Also, you can have items delivered immediately, if you forget something. This service has drivers you tip. They also have a premium food line called Better Goods and everything is excellent. Like mushroom truffle pizza.

Routine-One "baseline task" per day. Make bed, wash 1 dish, read 1 page. These are my Anchor Activities things I do daily no matter what. But anchors alone get boring fast, especially for a low-dopamine brain. So I pair them with Novelty Activities that rotate daily something small and different each day like a 5 min walk, journaling, or a cold splash on my face. The novelty is what keeps your dopamine just high enough to stay engaged without overstimulating it. I use Soothfy for this, it builds both anchors and novelty into a personalized daily routine based on your energy level and schedule.

Food- just pay the extra money and get pre-cut fruit, salads, etc. It is better than wasting food. I try to have a food type for each day of the week to help me plan. Like Sundays is pizza, Monday soup and salad. This prevents you from over thinking and just finding something you like.

Designated spot for shoes, keys and anything I need to take with me when I leave. Shoes go in a basket right by the door and I take them off as soon as I walk in. Keys are by the door on a hook with my purse.

These are things that come to mind immediately. Let's help each other be successful this year. Feel free to state anything you are struggling with and let's see if we can help each other by sharing tips or strategies that can help you. My biggest challenge right now is making doctors appointments.

I do not have access to medication, and won't be able to get it for a while. I have an important exam in a couple of months, and I didn't prepare at all. I barely studied, and everyone is expecting me to score high marks. How do I study? Once I learn Something I often retain it for ages.

Hi, I’m Leah. Registered Nurse, AuDHD consultant, and someone who got their own late diagnosis and immediately fell apart trying to figure out what to do next.
Before I build anything I want to know what people actually need, not what I think they need.
It’s a 5 minute anonymous survey. I’ll share the results back here when I’m done.
https://form.typeform.com/to/kyDTCGjh
Thank you.

I was only recently diagnosed with ADHD and started reading about how to deal with ADHD symptoms when medicine isn't sold in one's country, now I work as an ADHD coach with everything I have learnt

But this post is about my experience last year! :)

I started exercising last year after a break of 4 years because I read that it improves dopamine tone and exercise isn't just some weight loss or muscles technique, it's very good for ADHD, and guess what...after around 2 weeks, exercise started giving me dopamine (my hypothesis) that I previously chased through food, Junk food became way less interesting for my brain, and the hunger basically...died

second thing, stabilizing my circadian rhythm for ADHD was also something I learnt I could do, I learnt I have to wake up at the same time and get sunlight, I used to avoid sunlight earlier because I was afraid of skin damage, but I learnt that a few minutes of exposure daily in the early morning is actually good rather than harmful, it was the one thing that helped me the most with ADHD but it also somewhat reduced random hunger spikes

third, meditation with the lights turned off and using my breath or heart beat or the noise of the clock as an anchor made me much more aware of my stomach signals instead of eating automatically.

Weirdly, ab exercises reduced binge urges the most for me in this ENTIRE JOURNEY

The surprising part is that people usually say exercise increases appetite and causes them to eat more, for me it did almost the opposite.

for me, junk food started feeling less appealing and I liked to drink more water instead

I’m wondering if some of my binge eating was actually dopamine-seeking + executive dysfunction rather than pure hunger.

YSK: If you’re overwhelmed by a task, making it “smaller” is usually more effective than trying to motivate yourself

A lot of people wait until they “feel ready” to start difficult tasks.

In reality, the biggest source of procrastination is often that the task feels too large or unclear in your brain.

Instead of:

• “clean the apartment”
• “fix my resume”
• “study for exams”

Reduce the task until it feels almost stupidly easy:

• pick up clothes from floor for 3 minutes
• rewrite only the first resume bullet point
• study one page

Usually the resistance drops after starting.

Why YSK:

People often treat procrastination like a motivation problem when it’s frequently a task-design problem. Breaking work into smaller, clearly defined actions reduces mental friction and makes it easier to build consistency in work, studying, cleaning, exercise, and other daily responsibilities.

I'm looking for a timer that I can keep in my room that is always counting down towards 7 AM. I struggle with time blindness, and right now it's 2 am and i'm supposed to wake up in 5 hours; I do not feel like it's 2 am nor like I have to wake up in 5 hours...

I want to find a timer that constantly shows me how long it's gonna be until I have to wake up, because then I feel like it'll really set in that I NEED TO SLEEP. Is there any timer that I can just set it for 24 hours, and then it just resets on it's own and automatically resets? I need something that I can set and let it do the work for me.

Alongside that, I'm really interested in any timers that are able to show both a countdown AND the current time so I can stay on top of the actual time and the task time. Also, any good visual timer recommendations, especially ones that are water proof and easy to carry around would be awesome for my work so I can deep clean it easy after using it to clean a bathroom or trash run.

So, in short:

• Repeating 24 hour visual timer to set on my bedroom desk (Numbers preferably, maybe both numbers and a reducing circle?)

• Timer that displays both countdown & current time

• Good visual timers in general

• Visual timers that are both portable and waterproof (i work a janitor + shelf stocker gig and I want to be able to wipe the timer with liquid cleaning solution after trash runs and then use it to help me track my shelf stock times)

Any help is greatly appreciated, thank you!

I know this is a bit of a tough question to answer, but I was hoping maybe users with ADHD could share their experiences. I'm starting to learn Italian through CI (currently no idea what I'm doing but I'll wing it). When it comes to learning through listening, I find my thoughts wandering because I don't have words to read and hold my attention. Does this go away with time/practice? I know I need to work on my listening since the world does not come with subtitles, so I was wondering if those who struggle with their attention have tips or tricks to recommend. Thanks in advance everyone!

I grew up in the Netherlands. Diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD at age 4 in primary school.

They put me on Ritalin. Later briefly dexamphetamine. I felt flat. Robotic. Blank. Like there was glass between me and everyone else.

I had special social training at school because I was that bad. I still made kids cry without knowing why. I missed things everyone else just seemed to pick up naturally. I had one friend in primary school. He was a bit awkward too.

With girls it was even worse. I basically had no female friends until I went to middle school around age 11. By then I could hold a conversation. But nothing romantically ever happened. Friendzoned every time. Looking back I know exactly why. I showed up too eager. I talked about surface level things and never moved anything forward. When I liked someone I went all in too fast. It pushed people away every time. I had no idea any of this was happening while it was happening.

Things started shifting around 20, 21. Not from therapy. Not from social skills training.

Poker taught me to read patterns not moments.

At 17 I started playing live poker. From 19 to 22 I played professionally. Poker is a game of very limited information. You naturally start looking for extra signals everywhere. The most important thing I learned was this. You never read a single cue in isolation. You establish a baseline for how someone normally behaves and look for deviations from that. Someone acting confident might just be nervous. Someone quiet might be sitting on something strong. You can only know if you have been watching them long enough to know what normal looks like for them. I started applying this to every conversation and every person I met.

Travelling taught me to stop relying on words.

I started travelling at 18 just to get out of the Netherlands. Being around people who spoke little English forced me to pay attention differently. When words are limited you start reading faces, tone, and body language much more carefully. You realise how much information people give away without speaking. Most people with Asperger's are taught to focus on what people say. The real information is usually somewhere else.

Sales taught me that neediness is the real problem.

I learned sales through doing it. The thing that stuck was simple. When you show you need something badly the other person pulls back. When you show indifference there is less pressure on them and they move toward you. This is true in sales. It is true with friends. It is true with women. For people with Asperger's this is especially hard because we hyperfocus. When we like someone we go all in immediately. I learned to hold that back. Not to be cold. Just to give people room to come toward me instead of running from me.

Indirect cultures taught me that what people say and what they mean are different things.

Five months ago I moved to Bangkok. People here communicate very indirectly. Women communicate indirectly everywhere. What someone says and what they mean are often two completely different things. I started treating that like a puzzle instead of something frustrating. Once you accept that the surface meaning is rarely the real meaning you start listening completely differently. You stop taking things at face value and start asking what this person is actually telling me right now.

I am 28 now. I go on dates weekly and people seek me out to chill & hang out. I catch things in conversations most people miss completely. Not just my own assessment. People reflect this back to me regularly.

Here is what I think actually happened. Most people absorb social rules without thinking. We have to learn them consciously and build a real model. That sounds like a disadvantage. I think it is the opposite. Once that model is calibrated it is more reliable than running on autopilot. An autopilot built without thinking can fail in ways you never even notice. A conscious model does not.

The short version of what worked:

• Stop reading single cues. Build a baseline and look for deviations from it
• Pay more attention to tone and body language than words
• Neediness pushes people away. Give them room to come to you
• What people say and what they mean are usually different things. Get curious about the gap

It took me a long time. But none of it required medication or therapy.

Curious what unconventional things worked for others.

I’m looking for recommendations, resources, apps, workflows, AI tools, or even just discussions from people who struggle with ADHD/ADD, anxiety, depression, disorganization, impulse spending, unfinished projects, and life overload.

I’m a veteran, single mom to a 3-year-old, full-time employee, foster mom, animal rescuer/helper, and I’m honestly at the point where my systems are no longer working.

ChatGPT has already helped me massively with work organization, writing, planning, and sorting through mental clutter. Now I’m trying to figure out how to use AI/tools/systems to help with my personal life too:
- budgeting/finance tracking
- appointment management
- reminders/follow-through
- responding to creditors or disputing charges
- returning items instead of avoiding it
- organizing projects and actually finishing them
- reducing impulse spending
- managing household chaos before it snowballs

I don’t think I’m at “hoarder” level, but I can absolutely see how people get there, and that scares me. A lot of my clutter comes from unfinished intentions, avoidance, exhaustion, and emotional overwhelm.

I’ve always eventually managed to get myself back on track in the past, but lately it feels like I’m building temporary duct-tape fixes instead of actual systems.

I want better structure for myself, but also for my daughter. I want her to grow up understanding that struggling doesn’t make someone lazy or bad, and that there are ways to build support systems instead of drowning in shame.

I also want to stop feeling guilty for wanting normal human things. I want to manage money well enough to take vacations, maybe eventually fix up an RV or golf cart, travel on a budget with my daughter, and enjoy life without feeling like every extra dollar should go toward responsibility or rescuing everyone else.

What has ACTUALLY helped you?
Apps?
AI tools?
Accountability systems?
Budget methods?
Therapy approaches?
“Life admin” systems?
Anything.

Especially interested in tools that help reduce executive dysfunction and emotional avoidance, not just generic productivity advice.

one mistake I always see therapists make when it comes to ADHD is not understanding that treating ADHD is somewhat like treating a newbie to do push ups, you don't tell them to do 20 push ups a day, you see if the newbie has some deficiencies or sleep problems, give them some creatine, start with 2-3 knee push ups a day before they can even do one push up and calibrate the difficulty after listening to and observing the client

whenever I went to a therapist, they would think that my ADHD is simply a routine problem and would wtite me hours and hours of detailed routines to follow as in I could even do that.

when I would say that it is not possible for me to do that, they would say that I am using my ADHD as an excuse rather than fighting it.

later when I myself became an ADHD coach, I realised that ADHD treatment is somewhat like going to the gym and building muscle, but you cannot see the muscle and the equipment, it's all in your head.

if a person has ADHD, the treatment isn't to make an impossible routine for them, it is to pick the easiest and the most effective stuff FIRST to IMPROVE THEIR executive function to a point where they can actually do the stuff they need doing

for example, when I used to go to therapy, I would be told to study 3 hours a day, using....pomodoro, that would totally help my ADHD apparently

but now as an ADHD coach, I don't even start with studying or the stuff the client actually needs to be doing, we start with things that help executive function first and the easiest stuff like...

check and correct any deficiencies that the client may have if they complain about weakness/fatigue with ADHD

recommend the patient to get medicated

wake up at roughly the same time for 2 weeks and get 15 minutes of sunlight

that's literally it, one goal, one easy goal, it doesn't even have to be perfectly at the same time every day, the idea is to stabilise the circadian rhythm and stabilise the biology, the easy stuff, no willpower nonsense, just biology

once these things have been done, the symptoms of the patients usually improve A LOT, to an extent where I am comfortable advising the patient to add things to their routine every 2 weeks like 5 minutes of exercise, which in turn improves executive function even more, and after that, only after that, we start thinking about adding the stuff to the daily routine that the client actually wants to do like the chores and studying and the work

basically, it takes me around 2-4 months usually to get my clients from 0 to a point where they can actually start doing the boring and important stuff in life, while most therapists like to pretend the client will immediately become 'disciplined' in the first session

ADHD treatment to me feels like gym for the brain, only that you can't see the equipment

I keep seeing people looking for accountability partners, but honestly… I think a lot of people are setting themselves up to fail.

What I’ve noticed is this:
People try to achieve serious goals with unqualified accountability partners or with people who are just as inconsistent and unmotivated as they are. Then when nothing changes, they blame “accountability” itself.

But the issue usually isn’t accountability.
It’s the system and the people involved.

The right accountability setup should push you, challenge you, keep you consistent, and actually help you follow through.

If you’re tired of starting over and want an accountability system that actually works, send me a DM.

*Easy things

I just taught myself how to take apart my toilet on youtube, diagnosed the problem bought the correct parts, used 3 different specialized wrenches, took the whole thing apart reassembled bam done in less than an hour. Saved myself 300$ on a plumber, easy, didnt even break a sweat

But i cannot clean my house, find a job shave or brush my teeth daily, something that 99% of the world can manage

Why? this is making me feel so disabled.

Hi everyone!

So i have an extremely important exam coming up, and its going to be 8 hours long with 1 hour break. I have studied well for the exam but now as the time approaching for the exam, i am not able to study at all.

I am struggling to even get out of bed, i zone out when i read from book, i am zoning out while reading questions and i am constantly watching some random youtube videos instead of studying. Its like my brain is getting paralysed.

I recently started medi ine and my psychiatrist has put me on atomoxetine and honestly it didn't help me with anything.

I feel very helpless right now.

I genuinely need help.

I am a med student and i am usually able to study normally but when i have any extremely stressful exams then i am not able to function at all. I am doing fine in med schools and passing my exams easily and srudy regularly but as my exams approach my productivity keeps decreasing and i don't know what do i even do about it.

Any tips or help would be of great value to me right now. Thank you