u/PianoRevolutionary12

The siren song of facebook marketplace is calling to me once again, and the deals are crazy good! So is there a good resource to watch, on what to look for, common things that need repairs with an absurdly cheap used boat? Just a little 4-6 seater powerboat.

The problems with my last sailboat were not immediately evident, even as it was floating in the water.

Lol yes i get it " no such thing as a free boat" but what else should i be looking for?

Not covered in a field, Old motor that "ran last year", rotting transom, soft floor? How do i tell if the cables need to be replaced? Metal vs fibreglass?

Ok I see all these couples, same body type, same clothing style, same temperament, just so similar. And it makes a lot of sense, if you are a runner of course you might want to date another runner, enjoy the same hobbies etc. I just never gave a shit about this, and now I am wondering if I am going about things in the wrong way? Are similarities the guiding principle in dating? Being able to fit in a "category?"

I have never fit in a category, and the women I have dated were very different from each other. Like if I was a sports guy I would go to crappy sports bars and date women in ball caps. My weekends would already be planned out around the team, my friends would be other sports guys, who would date other women in ball caps.

Where is the "box" for doing dangerous hikes one week and sitting around chilling with some drinks the next week?

Ok if its me in the future I would be cranky, "I can do it, don't need some young punk's help!"

This is an old guy, not like middle aged, I saw him struggling with lifting something heavy in the mud and I just came over and did it for him. I said "oh my hands are already muddy"

Would you help the guy or let him struggle to preserve his "macho ego"

I am new to trailrunning, what a thrill it is! I can't believe it took me so long to find it.

Anyways what are your prep moves? I figure a regular yoga class will pretty much cover all the possible issues? Add in some body weight moves abs moves. Do you do trail specific strengthening exercises

I don't know what I was doing in my 20s and 30s, had some lovers but i did not prioritize lust and adventures. And now I am almost an old man full of regrets! So I am going to recapture my youth, how do I do that? Does anyone have any tips? Is this a midlife crisis? Yes.

If i was in my early 20s I would go to some terrible university bar and do shots? But I am a grownup and I don't want to drink until 3am these days. So what is the move? Open dress shirts and gold chains in the nightclub? That was a joke ;) But the question is real

How do you casually date?

these are not challenging delusions, my life is going fine i am getting ready to go for a run

But i have these daydreams? like persistent detailed fantasies? While just doing regular stuff, sober. Like "being told by some supernatural force that I should save some random strangers from a car crash that hasn't happened yet, so I go to the spot and wait. Soon enough bam they crash and I save them"

And of course that is just a fantasy, I have no actionable steps, I don't have a location, or any sense of urgency, and so I just go about my day, and the daydream happens again, and again and again. What is the deal?

My infrequent psychedelic trips often have this same element in them, supernatural communication, trusting "the vibes" , and once in my life I did trust the vibes and I did save some lady from a bad situation.

So whats going on? Am I just getting off playing the hero in my fantasies? Is the universe trying to prepare me for work as some kind of psychic detective?

i am a last minute type of guy, i am not thinking about the weekend until maybe thursday, and then if i make plans on friday its too late for people!

Do i need to leave a week? 2 weeks? Or is 3 days enough? Ok for example i want you to hang out with me on friday night, how many days in advance do I have to let you know?

I dont really get it, how do i know how I am going to feel in 2 weeks? Ok if it is a camping trip or something that requires advanced prep but what if it is just a casual thing

I am currently a shit runner, never had much time or interest for it. I imagined busy city concrete, or worse the treadmill. But I have discovered forest trailrunning, and man it is a whole different thing.

I felt like i tapped into something ancient, like its just a bit of running why does this feel so good? Is this what my brain is supposed to be doing? There were a few spots where I could have easily busted my ankle or slipped off a ledge, but that made it even better haha

New hyperfixation unlocked! Anybody else?

any advice, i want to "charge" my tattoos up, create powerful walking sigils

I am trying to "charge" my tattoos, turn them into walking sigils. Does anyone have any tips for such things

Stupid question I know. But I was reading an adhd post and all you guys are doing crazy intense jobs, and doing them well! Damn I'm the only one barely functioning?

Ok so I've had jobs, hired by family etc but I have never actually sent a resume to a stranger and gotten a job that way. I don't even get how it works. I send the resume and then what, go there? call them? Seems absurd that i am the only person who cannot figure this out.

If I was the person hiring I would pick 5 resumes and delete the rest? Or is it now an ai keyword sorting program? I am currently getting turned down for jobs that I am over qualified for, what is the deal

Yeah yeah listening to people and then asking about it later, sure thats great. But here is the hack. Go on social media, ask people about the stuff they post

They will light up just the same as if you asked them about something they told you, maybe even forgetting that they did not actually tell you about it

I have used it a few times now. People can tell when you are take a real interest in them. And this is a shortcut ;)

I have been burned in the past bought a really old boat, turns out that shit needed a lot of work! Too much work. Who could have guessed. Not me ;)

Did I learn my lesson? No. The sirens of facebook marketplace are calling to me again! Anyways trying to be smarter this time.

Probably talking a 16ft ish motorboat, outboard, metal or fibreglass

Going to check the boat carpet, will probably scrap or sell the 2 stroke? motor and replace with a modern one i have, what else is on the list? I will of course make them put the boat in the water

Any tips are welcome please

I have had hospitality jobs I got by showing up, worked for family, school internships etc. But I have never gotten a grown up job by sending out resumes to strangers.

I do not even understand the process. Send the resume and cover letter, and then what? Go there? Call them? Go to their house? This is a joke ;) I feel like I am sending out resumes into the ether, to be read by no one, receive no feedback, and repeat FOREVER

At least now I am using Indeed (which is great) so I can see they have turned me down. I am sometimes applying for things with no direct experience, but I have reasonable transferable experience, basic office jobs I could competently do based on my experience. But the job post always wants direct experience, in sales for example

Also I do not have a linkedin, I do not want job spam and to display my resume on social media, why would anybody want that? I was told I need a Linkedin in this day and age to show the AI job interview bot that I am a real person. But if I have no "recommendations" isnt that worse than having no profile? Are people really getting jobs on linkedin?

Yo this is wild. I was at the beach, I was like a minority of dudes with a furry chest. I know I'm not the only one who grows chest hair. The young guys? Smooth like dolphins

You guys are really paying a woman to rip the hair off your chests or what? I will trim my shoulders with a mini electric razor, clean up the "overflow" so I don't look like a yeti, but thats it. Am I a cultural dinosaur? Lol too bad I'm not doing it!

I have had lovers who liked my chest hair, what about you?

Talking about gender issues here so if you are going to be upset... best to skip it 😉

We got talking about gender issues, which I don't have, but we were talking about gender presentation in life for everyone and conforming to gender norms and the ideas/ work behind that. My therapist took the current "mainstream" approach about pro gender "treatment" and I just left thinking "what!?" I am so confused that this dude is out there giving people this advice which in my opinion is objectively bad . Does that mean the rest of his advice is bad?

Essentially the basic universal therapeutic rationale seems to be "become comfortable with yourself as you are, uncover hidden issues, so that you can live your life with less pain and struggle. Embrace yourself as you are, not an idealized fake version of yourself and just exist. Is that right?

And then for people with gender issues, the advice seems to be: forget being comfortable with yourself as you are, the only way to be comfortable is to radically change everything about yourself and begin a life of rigidly chasing and conforming to the opposite gender norms! A task that is seems expensive and very difficult! The very opposite of "love yourself as you are"

What? Are you therapists out there telling people that and actively ignoring the contradiction? WHY? I have read tons of posts about people receiving advice that by their own admission they now (later on with regrets) consider to be wrong/incorrect from various mental health professionals on the subject.

Damn some of you must be dating the most naggy whiny uptight people on the planet because there are a lot of posts over there. The sub is r/adhd_partners if you are looking for reasons to hate yourself

Like damn I am upset now! What a bunch of fooking clowns!

I read in one of these adhd books somewhere "The risk for the adhder is dating their 5th grade teacher" Not literally but the idea of picking someone (who i guess is good with structure and organizing) but as a result is a nitpicky hypercritical piece of doodoo

Is that you? Have you internalized your shame so much that you pick a partner who regularly explains the ways you are not able to be "normal"?

Stop that! Break up with that person right now, I will wait

edit: if you are actually an inconsiderate ahole that is not adhd that is you

I am an extrovert but not a narcissist ? I hope not haha

But I cannot shut the fuck up. I talk about myself, i sometimes talk over people, I fill silence, I respond to peoples' stories by sharing one of my own, I drink enough alcohol to relax myself which also impairs my communication further, it is just messy

I am not totally hopeless i also ask people lots of questions, I take an interest in their lives, I remember important details they told me a year ago, I have people who like talking to me I can make friends.

But sometimes I feel like other people are talking together at like the "brightness" of a flashlight. And I come along with a 1,000 watt spot light. Like just too intense for the situation. I cannot turn down the volume,

I would like some tips on how to shut my pie hole, be a better listener and responder?

Is this a problem you have? Currently unmedicated but this didnt go away on the stims either

Do not start with cleaning, do not look at that shit and get overwhelmed, do not beat yourself up for not putting things away, that is not your problem. Because how can you put things away with nowhere to put them!?

Go buy some plastic bins, or sliding drawers or milk crates or etc. Not ikea nonsense that you have to build for 3 days, no something already assembled. (I happen to love filecabinets, they are bulletproof and I like the look, people are always trying to sell them for 20$)

So you get a bunch of storage and you get some stick on labels and a marker.

Then you organize by category. One bin is for tools. One bin is for hobby. One bin is for hats etc. Then you go around and put all the hats in the hat bin.

Do this with everything. If you have stuff that doesnt fit in a bin, you either make a bin or throw it in the garbage. Everything has a home!

Finally you get a large garbage can, not these dainty bathroom cans I am talking a big honking full size garbage bag trash can, and you make sure your trash is off your floor....forever

Extra bonus points for maintenance: I keep a bin under my coffee table, and the next time my place is full of random nonsense that I cannot deal with, I will just sweep it into the bin. At least i will have a clean surface. And now that everything is labelled I can put stuff back later with less fuss